Won’t Leave You Behind

It was a week to Christmas and Molly had decided it was the perfect time for the biggest party the Burrow could accommodate. Harry wasn’t exactly sure why they were having a pre-Christmas Christmas party, since most of these guests would be showing up to Christmas dinner anyway. He was milling through the crowd, being stopped every few seconds to say hellos, looking for where Ron had disappeared to. He spotted Hermione over by the tree, scowling at something Fred and George were saying. He smiled and then smirked when he caught her eye, giving her a little wave before turning back to go up the stairs. 

He found Ron, sitting on his too small bed in his old room, staring out the window at all the people walking around the garden. 

“Hey mate, why’d you disappear? From what I could see there’s enough food to satisfy even your appetite, no need to lock yourself away to let everyone else have a go at it.”

Ron looked up at him and frowned. Harry frowned back, realising there was something more serious going on than he’d originally suspected. It was rare anymore that he couldn’t joke Ron out of a mood. He walked over and sat next to Ron, close enough to wrap his arm around Ron’s waist. Instead of relaxing the way he usually did, he seemed to get more tense. 

“Ok, what’s the matter? You were all excited for today, you love Christmas parties.”

“Ya, I was,” Ron sighed.

“And now you’re not?” Ron just shrugged. “Didn’t you get to see Bill and Charlie? I thought I saw you talking to them earlier.”

“I did.” His frown got bigger. 

Harry waited for Ron to say something else. When he just glanced back out the window Harry pinched his side. 

Ron jumped slightly and Harry let his arm fall away from his side. “What was that for?”

“Talk to me you dolt!”

“It’s nothing!” Harry made a move to pinch him again. “Ok, ok! Everyone just keeps making very un-subtle comments.”

“About?” 

Ron glanced sideways at Harry. “About me and Hermione.”

“Ok, and?”

“About us…you know.”

“Getting married?” 

Ron’s face turned red instantaneously and he could only manage a small nod of his head. 

“And that’s bothering you… because?” 

Ron finally looked Harry fully in the face and he couldn’t understand the expression there. He looked almost like he was in pain over this, but Harry couldn’t think why. 

Harry knew his best mates better than anyone, the three of them had basically done everything together since they were eleven. Even after the war, finishing their last year of Hogwarts and taking their NEWTs (which Hermione had insisted on) the three of them had gotten a flat together in London, and had been living there for the past half a year. 

He knew how happy they were together. He had been witness to enough of their romantic antics that he felt certain that the two of them would last. They had all worked through much harder things than the silly little squabbles they sometimes had, and Ron and Hermione seemed to enjoy their little bickering matches more often than not. So, he didn’t understand why Ron was so uncomfortable with the implication of them being engaged. 

Selfishly, Harry wanted them to wait a few years. He knew that things would change once they got married. Maybe they wouldn’t feel the need to move out on their own right away, but eventually they would want a house and children. And Harry would go from being an everyday fixture in their lives, to an occasional visitor. Well, probably more than occasional. But a visitor, nonetheless. Someone like a brother, who could help look after their kids sometimes, and who had to update them on what was going on in his life because they wouldn’t be there when it happened. 

He knew that he didn’t act completely appropriately with either of them. They were all very physically affectionate and, aside from the sexual part of their relationship, there wasn’t much difference in how they treated Harry from how they treated each other. 

Harry knew that it wasn’t completely normal and was probably born out of their reliance on each other in the war, but he liked the little family they had made and he would mourn for it when things changed. 

It didn’t help that he wouldn’t mind if there was absolutely no difference in the way they acted with him as with each other. And he had stupidly let them all cross a couple lines; falling asleep in the same bed; him taking a little too long to make himself scarce when they started to make out. 

He continued to stare at Ron, with that wounded expression on his face, and wondered if Ron was worried that they would hurt him when they finally moved forward with their lives. 

Ron opened his mouth to say something, leaning in close, “Harry-”

The door suddenly burst open, and they both jumped a bit. 

Hermione came in and closed the door, a look of half relief and half exasperation on her face. She came over and slapped them both lightly on the arm. 

“I can’t believe you both abandoned me down there. What are you even doing up here?”

“Molly sent me to look for Ron, and then he seemed upset, though I still don’t really understand why.” 

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look and there was that same inexplicable look of anguish, in both their eyes now. 

“So…why are you avoiding the party then?” He asked Hermione, temporarily ignoring the pang from realising that they were keeping something from him. “Did you two forget to tell me that we’re avoiding someone?” 

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. “No, they’re all just irritating me to no end. Every single person I’ve talked to has either tried to be sneaky about seeing my hand or outright asked to look at it. And then they all say something about Ron waiting until Christmas day. Not one person has asked me about work.” 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at how annoyed she sounded. She had been extremely eager to flaunt her recent promotion at the party. His laugh died in his throat when he saw that they both still looked very upset. 

“Ok, what in Merlin’s name is going on? Why are you both this bothered about people assuming you’re going to get engaged?” Harry looked back and forth between them, but neither of them would meet his eyes. “It’s not surprising they would think it’s coming soon. It’s going to happen eventually, and they’re all just excited for another wedding.” 

Hermione sighed and sat down on Harry’s cot (that had never been put away since after the war) across from him and Ron. 

“Harry, we’re not planning on getting married.”

“What?” Harry’s heart sank. “You’re not breaking up, are you?” 

“No!” “Never!” They said at the same time. 

Harry looked between them again, trying to understand, frustrated because he had never had any trouble before parsing out what they were thinking or feeling. 

“I don’t understand,” he finally admitted. 

“Ron.” Hermione held her hand out to him and he got up to take it, moving over to sit next to her. 

“Ok, now I feel like I’m about to be reprimanded by my parents.” Harry tried to grin at them, but it came out more as a grimace. “If this is about you two needing me to give you more space-”

“No!” Ron yelled. He practically launched himself at Harry across the small space, throwing himself on top of Harry and forcing him back against the bed as he wrapped his arms around Harry. Harry’s breath was knocked out of him, but he quickly wrapped his arms around Ron’s back in response. He could feel Hermione’s hand squeezing his knee. 

“Ron,” she said, “let him up. We need to have this conversation.” 

Ron slowly pushed himself up, pausing to look down at Harry and bend his head to kiss him on the cheek. Harry heard Hermione’s soft laugh as his face burst into flames. Ron moved back over to sit next to Hermione. 

They exchanged another look as Harry tried to get his heart rate back to normal. He remembered the only other time Ron had kissed him, while they were all a little tipsy, coming home from the party Seamus and Dean had thrown after their last NEWT exam. Hermione tended to kiss his hair and cheek and shoulder as often as she did Ron’s, and while it always sent a little thrill down his spine, Ron’s kiss was seared into his memory. He had been leaning on Harry and had commented on how good he smelled, before turning his head and pressing his lips against Harry’s neck, right under his ear. 

Hermione cleared her throat to get his attention back, and then looked at Ron. 

“It’s just that, we like the way things are,” Ron said, blushing, “and if we got engaged, everything would change.” 

Harry nodded slowly, understanding the feeling, and wondering for the first time if they had been thinking along the same lines as him. 

“There are certain expectations everyone has for us.” Hermione continued. “And certain expectations they would have for our marriage.” 

“We’ve talked about it, and if we got married everyone would expect us to get our own place and have kids.” 

“And our kids; everyone would only think of them as mine and Ron’s.” 

Harry nodded again; this speech sounded very rehearsed to his ears. 

“Do you understand what we’re saying Harry?” Hermione asked quietly.

Harry was afraid to say yes, afraid that he was wrong about what they were getting at. 

“It would mean separating you from our relationship, at least in everyone else’s eyes.”

“You do realise they already see it that way.” Harry said slowly. “And isn’t that what you want?”

“No,” Ron said, again with so much force that Harry felt like he was being pushed back against the bed again. “That’s not what we want.” He looked at Hermione, sharing another intense moment of communication. Harry hated how much it hurt to not be able to understand. 

When Ron turned back to Harry, he was blushing but he met his eyes determinedly. “We understand if you’re not interested in the…physical side of things,” they were all blushing now, “but we haven’t thought of you as separate from our relationship in a long time,” he paused, “if ever.”

“Harry, we know what we’re asking is a bit unorthodox, but I think you want things to stay the way they are as well. We can all stay living together, and if we have kids,” she glanced at Ron, “well we can figure out how that would work. We have time.”

Harry took a deep breath, a little lost in wonder that they would want exactly what he had been fantasising about for months. He felt like he was holding his breath, and if he let it out the whole scene would fade away; the two people he loved most in the world, the only people he trusted with every part of himself, would disappear, and he would be left with only the vague memory of what could have been. He took a few deep breaths as he watched their expressions grow less certain and called on every bit of Gryffindor courage he had.  “It’s not exactly true that I want things to stay exactly the way they are.” 

He jumped up at the looks on their faces. “No, no, that’s not what I mean. I just meant that, well I wouldn’t mind - I mean I’m not really opposed to, well…” he sighed and took another breath. “I think I’d like to be a bit more involved in the physical side of things.” 

Ron looked a little shocked and Hermione looked confused. “We thought…”

“I know,” he said, thinking back to the night he knew must have come to both their minds as well. Images of Ron’s bare chest and Hermione’s hair splayed out on the bed below them flashing across his mind. Their eyes on him as he hesitated, as he backed towards the door, mumbling something about giving them their privacy. “I just sort of freaked out.” He sat back down. “I didn’t want to know what it would be like, if it was just going to be the one time. If it was just going to be sex.” 

They exchanged a look before getting up and moving over to sit on either side of him. He felt his whole body heat up as Hermione took his hand and Ron wrapped his arm around them both, resting his other hand on Harry’s leg, just above the knee. 

“What we have now is far more than that Harry, even if it’s been unspoken until now.” 

“And since we’re talking about it,” Ron said, “we would be very happy to include you in the sex.” 

Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from Ron’s. “Ok.” He whispered. 

“And like we said, we’ll figure out the rest of it.” Hermione squeezed his hand, and he turned to look at her. “For now, we can just be together.”

Harry nodded. He felt like his head was overheating, he couldn’t quite process being sandwiched in between them, hearing them say things he had wanted for so long. He was hyper aware of Ron’s hand on his leg, his thumb rubbing slowly back and forth, and he let himself lean a little further into his side. He knew he was staring openly at Hermione’s mouth, but she didn’t seem to mind if the smirk there was any indication, and he felt more than heard Ron chuckle. 

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door. Harry startled so hard that he probably would have fallen to the ground if Ron hadn’t been holding him. 

“Oi, Golden Trio,” came George’s voice through the door, “Mum says if you’re not down in the next five minutes you have to do all the dishes after everyone leaves.” 

“Ya,” Fred cut in, “so feel free to stay locked in there as long as you want, cause right now she’s threatened to make us do them for setting off one of our new indoor fireworks over the tree.” 

“We’ll be down in a minute,” Hermione called.

“Sure you will,” the twins said in unison. They could hear their laughter fading away down the stairs. 

“I guess we’d better get going,” Ron sighed. “Too bad too, I was hoping to finally get to snog you on this bed,” he grumbled, “I’ve been waiting for the opportunity for years.” Harry made a strangled noise as Ron pressed his face into the side of his neck. 

Hermione smirked at them, “I was thinking of the kitchen counter after everyone’s gone to sleep.” Ron grinned at her. “There’s always the quidditch shed; there was one time before fourth year I nearly jumped him when he took his shirt off in there.”

“Ok, please stop, or I’m not going to make it through the rest of this party.” 

They grinned at him as they got up, but Harry didn’t follow them immediately. When they turned back to look at him, he reached out and waited for Hermione to take his hand. Ron looked as though he was going to throw up, so Harry smiled at him to let him know he wasn’t taking anything back. 

“When you said you didn’t want to get married,” he blushed at the image of Hermione in a long white dress that came to mind, one that he had pictured many times. “It doesn't have to be an absolute no, does it?” 

Hermione’s face lit up even more and she leaned over and kissed him squarely on the mouth. 

“No, it doesn’t have to be a no.” 

Ron laughed and pulled them both into his arms. 

They finally went back downstairs, the three of them sticking close to each other for the rest of the party. Harry had to hide his smirk behind his glass every time someone hinted to them about an announcement or big news they might want to share. 

Hermione looked as though she was going to snap the neck of her wine glass at any moment and Ron kept fidgeting so much that Harry and Hermione took away his glass and plate after he’d dropped something on the ground for the third time. 

Harry did a bad job at hiding his amusement from them, but they paid him back when they were in the kitchen cleaning up; running their hands along his back and shoulders, deliberately reaching around him to get something so they could press against him as they did so, whispering suggestions to him of things they’d wanted to do to him. 

By the time they got home he was about ready to burst, and he was glowing by the time he fell asleep in their bed. For the first time, on purpose.