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THOMAS.
Stepping out of the Med Tent, Thomas paused, letting the salty sea air fill his lungs. His chest still ached; the pain radiating through his body with every movement. He knew he should still be resting - gunshot wounds don’t exactly heal in a few days, and he didn’t want to risk reopening his stitches. But he’d had to see it; had to know that it was real, that everything they’d done had counted for something. Beside him, the waves crashed against the shoreline, dispersing a glistening mist through the air. Behind him, he could hear the trees rustling, their branches dancing gracefully in the light breeze. The Safe Haven. They’d made it.
He could see Minho sitting behind Gally and Vince, fiddling with an object he couldn’t quite make out. Behind him, he watched as Brenda flung her arm around Fry’s shoulder, laughing at something he’d said. Aris watched them from a distance, alone. There was something wrong - he couldn’t quite place it. Before he could think on it further, Minho caught sight of him and immediately started towards him.
There’d been a small part of him that, up until that moment, had hoped that maybe all of it had just been a bad dream. That the Last City hadn’t burned. That they’d all made it out alive. But Minho’s look said it all. Newt.
For someone who was meant to ‘save them all’, he hadn’t done a great job of that. He’d tried, he really had, but it hadn’t been enough. Not for Chuck. Not for Winston, or Mary, or Teresa.
Not for Newt.
Not for…he scanned his eyes over the group now forming around them. It wasn’t just Newt and Teresa who were missing.
They were all meant to make it.
How could it have all gone so wrong?
HARRIET.
Harriet sighed as she caught sight of Sonya standing in the doorway. Sonya. The girl from the box. They’d been expecting her; one girl, once a month. Sonya was the fifth to be sent up. They didn’t know why they were being sent up, if there was a purpose to all this suffering - someone was out there, controlling it all, watching them, but unless they managed to figure a way out of this, they’d never know why. For now, they just had to survive.
Harriet moved out from behind the workbench, making her way towards the entrance of the hut where Sonya stood, barely sheltered from the harsh temperatures of the Spring. Harriet motioned for her to come inside; and, closing the door behind Sonya, she moved back to lean against the workbench; it wasn’t that she was still annoyed, but a little space was always good.
They’d been given two small huts in the Spring - their only places of refuge from the bitter snowstorms that raged outside. One of the huts they used for sleeping and eating, and, given the size of it, whoever was running this place obviously anticipated there would be many more girls being sent up. The thought left a sour taste in her mouth - how could they do this to so many of them?
The second hut was, essentially, for everything else - storage, cooking, planning, and building. On the days when the weather was fine - when visibility was above 0%, three of them would head out into the maze that lay beyond the Spring walls, skating around, desperately trying to map their way out. On days like today, however, venturing out into the maze wasn’t worth the risk, and so Harriet found herself holed up in here working on the map of the maze.
She looked up at Sonya, waiting for her to say something; her blonde hair was pulled back loosely into a neat braid - she’d clearly found the time to re-do it after the incident. Harriet suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at the thought.
Sonya’s eyes darted nervously across the room as she pulled at a loose thread on her gloves. “I’m sorry for yesterday.”
“It’s fine.” It was not fine. Sonya had slipped on the ice, crashing into Harriet and sending both of them tumbling into the pile of firewood Harriet had just finished cutting. Sure, that moment had caused her to remember her name, but also, the entire stack of wood Harriet had just spent the past four hours chopping and sorting was now strewn all over the ice.
“It’s fine, really. It was just firewood.” Maybe she should try a little harder to be convincing - she knew her tone was less than enthusiastic. Maybe Sonya would still be a little disoriented from the fall and she’d just let it slide.
“No, it’s not,” Sonya sighed, “I can tell you’re still bothered about it.” Well, maybe not as disoriented as she’d hoped.
“Why do you care if I’m still bothered?”
“Because…” Sonya paused, her brows furrowing as if the answer was obvious, “I don’t want this to be how our story starts.”
“Our story? Look around, we literally exist in a frozen death trap. We’re lucky if we make it to the next day”, she laughed, exasperated.
“Perhaps. But I have a feeling you and I will be good friends.” She looked at Harriet so earnestly, her smile so kind, eyes somehow so full of hope that Harriet couldn’t bring herself to tell her that kind of thinking would just get her killed around there. Maybe she’d humour the idea, just for the moment.
Harriet rolled her eyes. “Friends? Let’s start with acquaintances. See if you can last a day without causing any other mishaps and maybe I’ll consider it.” She said, turning away from Sonya to hide the smile forming. Okay, maybe she could humour the idea for a little longer. A day or two wouldn’t hurt anyone, really.
“Oh you will. I can tell,” Sonya laughed as she disappeared around the door and out into the frozen Spring.
She was persistent, Harriet would give her that. Definitely not one to be underestimated either, She hummed to herself as she moved around the workstation. Maybe friends wouldn’t be so bad; she honestly wasn’t sure if friendships were even a possibility in this place - at least it was something she had certainly not entertained. She was friendly with the other girls, she cared for them and she knew that went both ways, but this place had been so unpredictable, so cruel even in the short time she’d been here she knew it would be easier to keep people at a distance.
Up until this moment at least, she’d thought it would be easier. But with Sonya, with her completely unwarranted optimism and a quiet determination, Harriet could feel the ground starting to shift beneath her. Perhaps it would be okay to let someone in. As long as she didn’t care enough to get hurt.
Harriet tipped her head back and let the water trickle slowly into her mouth, careful not to waste a drop. Beside her, Sonya closed her eyes, savouring the shade. They’d spent the day walking side by side along the dusty, parched plateau, the sun beating down on them, exhaustion quickly settling in. There had been moments when, in the heat of the blistering sun, it had felt like they would be lost in the horizon. They were now on their fifth day in the Scorch, and they’d just reached the outskirts of the mountains. Shelter, finally. They hadn’t much of a plan as to how exactly they would locate the Right Arm camp; they knew they were located deep into the mountains, so for now, they’d just keep walking. They had the supplies to last them another week. And if they hadn’t found them by then… well, they’d figure that out if it came to it.
Sonya, of course, had still somehow managed to find the beauty in all of it, marvelling at the sand dunes glistening like piles of gold in the scorching sun, mesmerised by the air shimmering from the heat as it danced over the cracks snaking across ground. Harriet just wanted the journey to be over.
They’d stopped by a large hollow into the side of the mountain; it was a good resting place, large enough to provide shelter for the night, tucked away at the base of the mountains and hidden from above. It would’ve been a perfect resting point for the day if they’d come across it a few hours later. For now, they were just taking a moment to rest before continuing on their way. At least, in Harriet’s mind that was the plan.
“We have to keep moving,” she said, finally breaking the silence.
Sonya shook her head. “I think we should stop here for the night.”
“I disagree. We’ve still got a few more hours of daylight left. We need to keep going.”
“We’re exhausted. We’ve been walking for days. At least we have shelter if we stop here.” There was a hint of pleading that laced her voice, but Harriet could see the determination in her eyes. Sonya wasn’t going to back down.
“WCKD’s still looking for us. We can’t waste any time.” She knew they were exhausted; they’d given so much to get here but the idea of them losing it all now, when they were so close to refuge, terrified her. They couldn’t risk it.
“Harriet, please. Let’s just stop. We’ll be fine for one night.” Sonya rubbed her hands over her face, frustrated.
“You’re welcome to stop. I’ll keep going.” She knew she was being stubborn, and perhaps a little unreasonable.
“Well that’s just ridiculous. We obviously can’t split up.”
“I know. But my option is clearly the better option.”
“I disagree. It’s reckless. No shelter, and we’re exhausted, so more likely to make mistakes. Rushing into things is going to get you killed.” In hindsight, she should have just admitted defeat then, agreed to Sonya’s plan, and everything would have been much simpler. But alas.
“It hasn’t so far. And I don’t rush. I make an informed, logical decision based on the circumstances. I don’t get caught up in trivial things like how pretty the sand dunes look.”
Sonya moved closer, challenging; now inches from Harriet’s face. The air felt thicker, heavier, unspoken words hanging in the silence between them.
“Well. Here’s what I think,” she snapped back. “I think you need to get over this whole …” The tension in the air was palpable, but Harriet could only watch as Sonya continued on with her impassioned rant, their faces so close now that Harriet could feel them inching towards an invisible line just waiting to be crossed.
She spoke with a passion that burned so brightly it was blinding, and yet Harriet couldn’t find the strength to look away. She was beautiful; Harriet realised she’d never consciously noticed it before. The flecks of emerald green lining her hazel eyes, the hint of a faint blush creeping up her cheeks, the way her hair so elegantly framed her face. There was something so effortless about her, it was mesmerising.
And oh. There it was. She could almost feel the shift that came with the realisation, the moment where she realised she’d crossed into a new territory, unfamiliar and daunting, and yet there was no return.
She liked her.
She could feel now; a yearning that burned restlessly inside of her, and she fought the urge to pull her even closer, to whisper in her ear how she felt, to kiss her, and…
“Will you pay attention?” Sonya asked incredulously, jerking Harriet from her thoughts.
“I am, thank you,” Harriet replied defensively. Sonya raised an eyebrow at her, clearly seeing straight through the lie. “I may have missed one or two words.’
“Just the two?”
“Maybe five.” Harriet admitted sheepishly. It was hardly her fault that this realisation came at such an inconvenient time. “Okay, we’ll stay here.”
“Thank you,” Sonya said, rolling her eyes as she moved past Harriet to start setting up for the night. She could immediately feel the loss in temperature as she moved away, the ache of her absence immediate. Harriet watched her in silence, searching for a witty remark but coming up empty.
Perhaps it would pass. She tried to convince herself that it was a heat of the moment type situation, and by tomorrow morning she’d laugh at the idea she liked Sonya in that way. But she already knew that wouldn’t happen. The more she thought about it, the more she realised this wasn’t something that had just appeared out of nowhere; the time they spent exploring the Maze together, the knowing glances they’d shared, their inside jokes, and fighting side by side for their freedom, all of it had been there, building quietly, diligently, and all it had taken was this one moment to set these feelings free.
Sonya turned around, catching her lingering gaze. “What?”
“Nothing, sorry,” the words came out too quickly, too rushed. “Just realised how tired I am.”
Sonya reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Tomorrow’s a new day. We’ll get there.”
Harriet could only smile back, the words catching in her throat. Could Sonya feel the same? Surely not. That would be ridiculous - they were trying to survive the Scorch together, not find love. But even so, a small part of her couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, after all those moments, something had changed for Sonya too. That kind of connection couldn’t just go one way; their conversation today had felt too charged, too heated for her to feel nothing. Surely. But… no. Right now, they needed to focus on making it to the Right Arm camp. She’d have time to think this through later. There was too much at stake for her to let herself be distracted by simple feelings.
VINCE.
Vince twirled the twine around his fingers, letting the coarse material cut into his fingers as he watched Gally triumphantly nail the last of the fence rails into place. Beside him, Minho smiled as he stepped back from the fence post, admiring the fence the pair had been working on all morning.
Off to his right he could see Brenda dropping off a basket of vegetables for Frypan, who was diligently chopping them all up for tonight’s stew. They were laughing about something, with Brenda giving Fry a playful nudge in the ribs.
He knew he should feel proud of what they’d all achieved; they were building a home. After months of hiding from WCKD, months of planning for the journey, they’d finally managed to take down WCKD and they’d made it to the Safe Haven. It was good.
But as he sat by himself, setting up another bay of hammocks, he couldn’t help but let the other thoughts creep in. The ones that reminded him of what it had taken to get here, the price of their freedom.
It was in moments like these - moments of silence, that he wished Mary was still here. Mary, who’d made him laugh, who’d always had a solution; the quiet to his chaos. They’d been perfectly balanced, and had been that way for years. He’d almost (but not quite) convinced himself that was never going to change. And then it had. Deep down, he’d known there was the possibility that they wouldn’t make it to the end together, he’d just always expected it to be him.
WCKD really had been the gift that kept on giving. Even in the early days, Mary had warned him how they were the real enemy - not the infected, not the ravaged earth. WCKD was their purpose, and their end.
Those days had been much simpler - he’d just wanted to find survivors, and to, well, survive. But Mary had these dreams, dreams of a cure, a desire to help those who were infected, a hope that one day humanity could be destroyed and the Flare could finally be wiped out, not the reverse. And slowly their little group had grown, and suddenly there were these girls who’d escaped WCKD who were joining them, and at some point along the way his mission changed, and he started to care.
The trick was to never let yourself get too close to people, and that was something Vince had been typically good at. He’d been a strong leader, he’d brought factions together and led the Right Arm Camp for years, but he’d always kept that distance between those around him, even his closest compatriots. But once Mary had knocked down that first wall, that resolve hadn’t been quite as strong. Once Harriet and Sonya had turned up, those rules disappeared. He wasn’t even sure when it happened really, but one night after catching them up late talking and he’d ordered them to go to bed, he’d realised it had all changed. Because as the months passed, he’d started to care about those kids like they were his family; a messy, disaster of a family, but nonetheless he’d felt this pull to protect them through the end of it, and he’d failed.
A deep anger gnawed in his stomach; he hated how he’d turned to these kids to help him fight WCKD’s battles. Sure, they’d wanted to fight, but they hadn’t volunteered for it, not really. They’d been stripped of that choice the moment WCKD had selected them for the trials, and had been dropped into the middle of a fight in a war they hadn’t known. They’d been objects to WCKD, nothing more than experiments - disposable if they didn’t meet the right criteria. They’d known nothing but the fear WCKD had instilled in them from the moment they’d had their memories reset.
He hadn’t wanted to involve the kids - he’d hated WCKD for involving them, but he hated himself even more for keeping them involved. He should have found another way, at least a way that didn't put them at risk. But they were so goddamn determined. He’d let them wear him down.
Why didn’t he push back? Why didn’t he realise what was happening sooner? Why didn’t he go after them, before it was too late?
Those choices would haunt him forever.
It was funny, in a sick way, he thought, how he hadn’t even said goodbye. He’d known better - in this life, one was rarely so lucky as to have the opportunity to say a proper goodbye. He should’ve been there with them. He should’ve looked after them.
They’d only been kids. They should have lived.
HARRIET.
They sat tucked behind the rock face, a small balcony carved into the mountain that served as one of the main vantage points for the gully. Night patrol was objectively one of the worst roles in the camp - it was exhausting, the Cranks liked the dark (therefore Harriet did not), and it was harder to see everything. But she was out here with Sonya, so really, she couldn’t complain.
The previous day they’d completed their first mission into the city area, scouting out one of the abandoned skyscrapers for parts. Things hadn’t gone quite to plan; the skyscrapers were overrun with Cranks and they’d had a few close encounters as expected, but they’d survived, of course.
They were a team.
Afterwards, as Vince had given the team the debrief, Harriet had found herself sneaking glances over at Sonya - something that was becoming a habit for her in recent weeks. The feelings she’d felt - well, they certainly hadn’t gone away. If anything, they burned stronger with every passing day, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to contain it. Sonya had caught her eye as she’d glanced over and smiled softly, almost knowingly; a charged energy bristling in the air between them. It was moments like that where Harriet was almost certain there was more to it, that what she felt didn’t just run in one direction.
That was the thing about Sonya; a firm resolve hidden behind an almost whimsical world view. The way that she could look at something that seemed so small and insignificant and find so much beauty in it, how she couldn’t wait to share it with Harriet with a sparkle in her eyes, and a laugh so contagious Harriet couldn’t help but find herself laughing too.
A stillness sat between them, unsettled and tense. Harriet wracked her brain for something, anything, to say to break the tension.
“Did you spot the pancake-like rocks we drove past yesterday on our way back? There was something so impressive about them, it was quite magnificent really.” She really needed work on her opening lines - that was weak, even for her.
Sonya turned to look at her, a small grin now pulling at the edges of her mouth. “You know, I think I’ve rubbed off on you a bit. The Harriet I met six months ago in the Spring would have never described something as magnificent." They locked eyes; it was a simple enough comment, but there was a weight to it, the unspoken words lingering in the air between them.
Harriet was expecting Sonya to cave, to be the one to finally break eye contact, but she didn’t; a quiet, charged moment that was stretching too long, neither of them looking away. Harriet’s breath hitched, and Sonya’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Then it was everything all at once; the air between them shifted, Harriet’s heart gave a violent lurch and they collided; it was messy, and imperfect, but as they kissed everything else just seemed to melt away, and everything Harriet had dreamed of and more.
Finally, they pulled apart, Harriet couldn’t contain the grin that spread across her face, a warmth bubbling up inside of her. Sonya bit down on her lip as she looked across at Harriet, eyes filled with so much fondness that Harriet simply wanted nothing but to kiss her again.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about doing that,” Sonya whispered, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Yeah, the thought had crossed my mind once or twice as well.”
“Oh please, don’t think I hadn’t noticed all those sneaky glances.” Sonya leaned in to kiss her again. “And you know, I did tell you we’d be good friends.”
Harriet laughed, a genuine, hearty laugh. The world they lived in wasn’t designed for happy endings. They’d seen how brutal it could be. This world didn’t grant miracles, it didn’t guarantee tomorrows; it made promises it couldn’t keep and stole from the undeserving, it took and it took without guilt until there was nothing left to take except a broken soul. Perfect didn’t exist in this world. They knew that. They were lucky to just survive.
But this? This was as close to perfect as they could get. This was everything and more, all the joy and pain they’d shared, all the sneaked glances, the fights and reconciliations, the moments of peace between the chaos. In that moment, it felt like there was nothing that could take this from them.
Harriet rolled onto her side, propping herself up with her elbow to look down at Sonya. “Morning,” she said softly. Outside, she could hear the rest of the camp starting to wake; the cooks would have been up hours ago preparing breakfast and ration packs for the day.
“Damn,” Sonya mumbled into the pillow, “I wish we didn’t have to get up.” She rolled onto her side to face Harriet, attempting to blow a loose piece of hair out of her face. Harriet felt a warmth blooming in her chest as she reached down to brush the strand of hair out of the way, her fingers lingering on Sonya’s cheeks.
“You know, I’ve got to give Vince some credit for these new tents. I’m quite enjoying this privacy.”
“Oh yeah?” Sonya smiled, leaning in closer. “And what exactly do you like about it?”
“Hmmm, let me think.” Harriet leant in, gently kissing her. “I can think of one thing that’s been really great.” She raised an eyebrow at Sonya.
“Oh, shut up you,” she laughed. “Come on, we’re going to miss breakfast again if we’re not careful.”
When they finally made it to breakfast, the tent was packed, leaving barely any places to sit. Sonya managed to spot a free section of the bench at the far end of the hall.
“No. Vince is always so grumpy in the mornings,” Harriet protested.
“It’s fine. They look like they’re finishing up, anyway.” Sonya had already started making her way over towards them, and Harriet wasn’t prepared to be left standing by herself.
“Morning,” Sonya smiled cheerily at the pair as they slid down the bench seat opposite Mary and Vince. Mary, delightful as ever, smiled back warmly; Vince grumbled a response.
“Perfect timing, you two. I was just saying to Vince I needed an extra hand in the Med Tent today. Sonya, do you think I’d be able to steal you from patrol?” Mary asked, and Harriet couldn’t help the small groan that escaped. Patrol without Sonya would be dreadfully boring. Sonya shot her a sideways glance, followed by a sharp nudge to the ribs with her elbow. Harriet yelped, earning herself a confused glance from Mary, and an even more annoyed glare from Sonya.
“I would love to,” Sonya said warmly, smiling across the table at Mary before Harriet had the chance to protest.
Mary laughed at the pair. “I know, I’m sorry. You’ll have Vince to keep you company though, Harriet.”
“Lucky you,” Vince huffed.
“Yes,” Harriet replied dryly, “Lucky me.”
“Alright, I will see you shortly - Sonya, just come over when you’re ready.” Mary said as she collected her bowl and made her way to the Med Tent.
“Harriet, do not just come over when you’re ready. I will see you in 10 mins.” Harriet couldn’t help but notice the small smile that tugged at the edges of his mouth as he turned away. Classic Vince.
They chatted aimlessly while they finished off their breakfast - there had been another Crank sighting about 10 miles north of the camp but yesterday’s patrol had taken care of it - Curtis and Lily had apparently broken up and weren’t on speaking terms which was awkward for everyone in the kitchen - Marcus had apparently intercepted a shipment of ingredients that Mary could use for medicine but wasn’t willing to trade for anything the camp had.
Harriet caught sight of Vince at the edge of the camp, staring her down. As soon as they made eye contact, he tapped his watch; she knew her ten minutes weren’t up but regardless, she didn’t want to keep him waiting.
“Alright,” she said, standing up and grabbing her bowl. “I will see you later for dinner. Love you!” As she turned to walk away, she paused, realising the words she’d just said. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her; of course she did, that went without saying. It was just that… neither of them had said the words before. Harriet had always imagined that when she did say them, it would be in a slightly more romantic scenario, not just something that slipped out at the breakfast table as a passing goodbye comment. At least she’d have patrol to distract her. Vince would probably pair her off with some annoying newbie and she’d spend the day worrying about them instead of those little pesky words.
She, in fact, did not have someone to distract her while on patrol. Vince had simply decided to leave her unpaired now that Sonya was unavailable. The problem with patrol by oneself was that it gave oneself a lot of time to think things through. Or overthink things, in Harriet’s case. By the time her 10 hours of overthinking had finished, she was feeling quite emotionally depleted, having analysed every possible scenario that might result from the accidental love confession. A hard day’s work, if she was being honest. However, all that planning disappeared into the void the second she saw Sonya approaching her at the dinner table.
“So,” Sonya said, slipping into the seat next to Harriet. “How was your day?”
Harriet kept her eyes trained firmly on the stew, prodding at the vegetables furiously. “Oh you know. Same old. You?”
“Pretty interesting. Had some interesting conversations, learnt some things. You know how it is.”
“Mmmmm.” Harriet couldn’t quite bring herself to make eye contact with her just yet. Sonya was being surprisingly calm about all of this. “Yeah so look…”
“Did you mean it? This morning?” Sonya interrupted. “Is that really how you feel?”
Harriet placed the bowl of stew down and looked over at Sonya. “Of course.”
“Well that’s good,” Sonya smiled, reaching across the table and slipping her hand into Harriet’s, interlocking their fingers. “Becasue I love you too.”
Harriet looked up, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Oh yeah?” She arched an eyebrow at Sonya.
“Yeah. Good thing it’s mutual. I mean, this is a love story, not a tragedy.”
“A love story? We’re being hunted for our blood by WCKD. I would hardly call that a love story. A horror, perhaps.” It was ridiculous, and yet she felt so enamoured of her.
For someone whose life had been haunted by the torment and suffering WCKD had caused, had felt the agony every day, she held such determination to see the magnificence in everything around her. It had annoyed Harriet endlessly at first but now she couldn’t imagine her life without it. Without her.
“Well yeah, that part, sure. But this part here,” she leant forward, grinning, “is undeniably a love story. Beating the odds, and all that crap.”
“Well damn. If that’s the case, then I guess you’re really stuck with me now.” Oh, Harriet was so in love.
Sonya laughed, her eyes crinkling with delight. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
ARIS.
It was Vince who’d found the clifftop, in the early days of the Safe Haven. It was about a mile out from the main camp, a steep climb through the ragged terrain and dense foliage, but it was worth it.
They had the stone on the beach, of course, to remember all their fallen comrades. Their friends. Their family. Dozens of names carved into it, a memorial to those who gave everything for their future.
But this was different; quieter, a place away from the bustling energy of the camp. Overlooking the ocean below, they’d scattered their ashes off the clifftop, letting the summer breeze carry them out over the ocean and into the unknown. They’d placed two rocks at the edge of the cliff, their names carved into them. The rocks lay side by side - how they would’ve liked it.
Aris stood in front of the two stones as tears fell gently down his face. It was the first time he’d been up here, since the farewell.
He’d told himself it was because he’d been too weak to make the journey after the months of torture at the hands of WCKD, but deep down he’d known that was a lie. Truthfully, he’d been afraid. Afraid to let himself feel the loss; he’d grieved with his friends, they’d celebrated the lives of those who hadn’t made it, he’d watched in silence as they’d etched their names into the stones.
But to let it all in like this; to feel it in its entirety as he stood alone, it took everything from him. Emotions he’d kept tightly hidden away now free, the anger, the pain, the grief. He’d never even had a chance to say a proper goodbye; he’d been so sure they’d all be coming back. He was foolish.
A cruelness twisted inside of him, a hatred for the world that he hadn’t known he’d been carrying - at least, not like this. Not this strong. It shouldn’t have surprised him though - not really. He’d witnessed his friends die in the maze, and once they’d thought they’d managed to escape he’d watched night after night as WCKD came to take more kids from the Scorch facility.
He’d watched the Right Arm camp burn as the rebellion was so carelessly destroyed, those who’d given him shelter shot down by WCKD’s soldiers, his group ripped apart. He could remember Sonya’s screams from the room next to his during testing. He could still hear the cries of the young kids every night, barely 13, as they waited for another day of testing.
And now this? Just as they’d escaped, the prospect of a new life free from WCKD within reach, only for it to have been ripped away from them.
And he’d been helpless. Too weak to go with them, too naive to realise what had been happening, too caught up in his own pain to look at the people right next to him. So perhaps, he hated himself nearly as much as he hated the world.
He shouldn’t - he knew that. Aris had always considered himself a logical person, and logically, blaming himself was ridiculous. None of this he could have controlled the outcome to, none of this was his fault. And yet, a small part of him wondered if he’d ever forgive himself for missing the signs. If maybe they’d had one more person with them, the ending could have been rewritten.
But that was just it - all these ‘if’s’ and ‘maybes’ counted for nothing. And he had to live with that.
HARRIET.
The final preparations for the move to the Safe Haven were in motion; Harriet flicked her eyes across the crowd, searching for that unmistakable blonde hair. She could see Vince over by the docks, directing supplies onto the Berg. Aris, still recovering after the rescue from WCKD, was curled up in a chair in the kitchen area, checking items off a list as they were packed away into boxes.
But she still hadn’t caught sight of Sonya. They’d fallen asleep next to each other last night, after months apart, but when Harriet had woken in the early hours of the morning she was nowhere to be found. After an initial panic that maybe they’d never rescued Sonya from WCKD, a panic that was only barely subdued after seeing Aris in the bunk just down from them, she managed to convince herself that she just needed a little space and would be back shortly - nothing to think of it.
That was two hours ago.
Now, with the breakfast rush long gone and still no sight of her, she started to panic again.
Thomas, Newt, and Fry had left the previous night to travel into the Last City. Harriet had caught the tail-end of an argument between Brenda and Jorge earlier that morning, with the latter finally conceding, and the two of them had headed off not long afterwards to try and catch up.
It was wasn’t like Sonya to disappear like this, for this long, not after they’d just reunited. Scanning the wharf one last time, just as she was about to raise the alarm with Vince, she caught sight of a figure perched up on the clifftop overlooking the wharf. Sonya. How long had she been there?
As she made her way up towards the clifftop, she couldn’t but feel a restless energy starting to churn away inside her; an eerie silence had settled throughout the empty buildings lining the road up to the clifftop - the usual clanging of scrap metal in the wind gone, the birds quiet, bringing with it a baseless sense of dread. She quickened her pace.
As she veered off the main road and pushed her way through the foliage into the lookout, she found Sonya leaning back against the old oak tree, knees hugged closely to her chest, toes digging into the grass. Two birds flitted about on the cliff edge a few metres in front of her but she kept her eyes trained on the horizon, gaze unwavering.
“I need to tell you something,” Sonya whispered, keeping her gaze focused firmly on the ocean.
“Hey,” Harriet said, lowering herself down next to her, slinging an arm around Sonya’s shoulder. “You can tell me anything. What’s going on?” The dread she’d felt on the way up to the cliff was pounding through her body, no longer feeling so baseless. What was this about? Had something happened to her during the 6 months she was with WCKD?
They’d talked most of yesterday about everything that had happened, but maybe there was something else, something worse. For a brief, selfish moment, Harriet wondered whether Sonya just needed space from her after everything that had happened, but she quickly pushed the thought away.
Sonya shuffled forward, letting Harriet’s arm fall away from her shoulders. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered, shaking her head.
“You won’t hurt me. What’s this about?”
Silently, Sonya pulled down the neck of her T-Shirt, to reveal the top of her left arm. Dark veins crawled across her skin and snaked down her arm.
The Flare.
“I don’t know how it happened. They did so many tests on us, at the facility, so I don’t know if it was something there. I’ve been scouring my memory for any moment that I could have been infected, and I don’t know.” Sonya closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely down her face. “I just don’t know.”
“It’s okay, we’ll get some of the cure from Vince, everything will be okay.” Harriet breathed in deeply, nodding as she said the words. It would be okay. It would be. They’d faced worse.
“There’s nothing left. Brenda has the last of her vial with her, and we’re out of Mary’s cure.”
“Okay, well, I’m sure it’s going to be okay. The Last City group, I’m sure they’ll be back in a week. They’ll have the cure with them; we can ask Brenda then.” She could hear the slightest hints of desperation starting to creep into her voice. It would be fine. It had to be.
Sonya sighed.“Harriet. Yesterday this was a dot. This is how much it’s spread in 24 hours. I’m not going to make it 3 days, let alone a week.”
When WCKD had dragged Sonya into the back of the Berg, Harriet had screamed out to her, trying desperately to reach her, her attempts futile. The battle around her had bled into the background, the world falling silent as WCKD ripped apart their lives.
It was happening again.
“No,” she said, shaking her head, “no, this is not it, there has to be something we can do. We’ll go after them, find Brenda and use the rest of it.” Blood rushed through her ears, the drumming of her heart loud and heavy. A hand clawed at her throat, slowly tightening its grip and she willed herself to breathe.
This was the reality of it all; no matter how far they ran, they could never escape WCKD’s hold on their lives. They were puppets to them.
“We’re never going to catch up to them, and even if we did make it to the Last City, how would we find them? And by that point, who knows how bad the infection will be.”
“Then maybe Vince has a method somewhere for the cure. We can make more. We can find another camp with a scientist.” She reached out for Sonya’s hands, nodding gently as she entwined their fingers together, as if to let Sonya know they were okay.
“You know that was lost during WCKD’s attack on the Right Arm camp.” Sonya sighed. “We’re out of options.”
“There has to be something else. Why are you so calm about this?” Exasperated, she pulled her hands free of Sonya’s grasp, the loss of warmth immediate. “You’re just giving up?!” Harriet knew it was harsh as soon as the words left her mouth, the regret hitting her instantly.
Hurt flashed across Sonya’s face, her brows furrowing as she shook her head. “Do you think I haven’t already been through every single option? Over and over again, looking for a way to change this?” Sonya looked at her, her voice steady. “We’ve just about made it to the Safe Haven. We were so close.” She shook her head, correcting herself, “We are so close. I don’t want to die. I need you to know that. I would give anything to not be in this situation, but the truth is, there’s nothing we can do.”
“You’re the one who always says to have hope!” Harriet didn’t want to accept that this was the end; she couldn’t accept that. It wasn’t right; this wasn’t how their story was meant to go.
“I know, but hope can be dangerous. I don’t want to waste the time I have left hoping things will change. I don’t have that luxury” Sonya whispered. “It would take a miracle.”
Harriet shook her head, eyes trained firmly on the ground in front of her. She couldn’t let Sonya see how afraid she was. “Then we’ll find it. We will find a miracle.”
Sonya reached out to her, gently placing her hands on her shoulders. “Harriet, please, look at me. This is how it ends for me. I’ve accepted that. Let’s just make the most of the time we have left together.”
Harriet swallowed, the thought catching in her throat. “And what happens when that time is up? Are you just expecting me to leave you? I can’t do that, I won’t.”
She finally found the strength to meet Sonya’s gaze, a sorrowful smile etched into her face, eyes rimmed red, her cheeks streaked with tears. “We’ve seen what it’s going to be like. I don’t want to get to that. What if we wait for too long, and I don’t remember who you are? What if I try to hurt you? Or worse?”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
“I know I wouldn’t, but this is the Flare we’re talking about. It’s cruel and unpredictable. I probably wouldn’t even know who you were.”
“We’d manage it.” Even as she said the words, Harriet knew it was a lie.
“How? I attack you, or someone else, and your only option is to kill me. I don’t want you to carry that with you. I don’t want you to remember me that way.”
“What are you saying?”
“When the time comes, let me go peacefully.” Sonya sighed, closing her eyes. “Not right now, of course, but when it starts to get bad.”
She knew what Sonya meant. Harriet lay down on the grass, her back pressed against the cool ground, the last of the morning dew soaking into her shirt. The branches from the old oak tree reached high above her curling out into the sky.
“Sonya…” she trailed off, unsure of the right words. She wanted so desperately to argue against it. But she couldn’t. Sonya lay down next to her, turning onto her side so she was looking at Harriet, their faces inches apart.
“Please, my love, promise me you’ll let me go?”
Every part of Harriet screamed for her to say no, to find another option, to beg for her to stay. But really, how could she? It would be a selfish choice, and Sonya didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve any of this, but this was the only part of this that Sonya had any power over, and Harriet wasn’t going to be the one to take that choice from her. This was a cruel world afterall, and the universe hadn’t made any exceptions for them. Harriet rolled onto her side.
“I will.”
Sonya inched closer, gently brushing a dark lock out of Harriet’s face before pressing their foreheads together.
“And one more thing, like we talked about. Promise me you won’t follow.”
The sun crept over the horizon, sending shards of light dancing across the waves. The dock sat empty, the rest of the group having departed on the old container ship last night to the Safe Haven.
Vince had asked why they weren’t joining the group to the Safe Haven, of course, and had insisted they went with him. She’d lied, saying they were going to do a final sweep of the place to make sure there was nothing to lead WCKD to them. It was a weak lie, but he’d been too preoccupied with the travel preparations to second guess her. Come back for us, she’d told him, the words catching in her throat; another lie. And so he’d left, so sure he’d see them the following day they’d not even received a goodbye. Guilt bubbled in her stomach; after all he’d done for them, Vince had deserved more than that.
They’d said goodbye to Aris - a brief, passing goodbye. He’d been too weak to stay behind, too weak to argue with them, and so with reassuring smiles they’d told him they’d see him soon. One final lie.
Then it was just the two of them, their final night. They’d rested early, laying down a few blankets on the ground outside the main shed, falling asleep gazing up at the stars twinkling brightly in the summer night sky. Sonya had awoken startled, and for a moment Harriet had wondered whether this was it. She’d had flashes of someone in her dreams; a brother. Newt. It was strange, in a way, the Flare giving her memories back, providing such clarity before it was all ripped away. Make sure he knows, Sonya had whispered as she lay curled up against Harriet, head resting against her chest, breathing softly. As she drifted back to sleep, Harriet wondered if Newt knew as well.
When Harriet woke the next day, for a brief moment, it was like everything was fine. Everything was normal. But when she turned towards Sonya, she could see the dark veins of the flare now creeping down to her arm and starting to snake up her neck; a stark contrast between the deep, pulsing veins and her pale skin, sweat beading around her forehead. Harriet placed a hand gently against her forehead - she was burning up.
How had it happened so quickly? There were people who had survived weeks in the early stages of the Flare. She’d progressed so quickly it hardly seemed fair. Then again, nothing about this was fair. Sonya murmured something incomprehensible as she roused from her sleep. She looked up at her, her smile laced with sorrow. This was the day.
They’d packed up their day bags quickly and started on their way; they wandered down from the docks and along the shoreline, the sun now high in the sky beating down on them. This was nothing like the Scorch, however, the cool breeze from the ocean swirling through the air between them, the occasional shadow cast from the warehouses lining the waterfront - moments of sanctuary from the summer heat. They settled into a leisurely pace, stopping occasionally to look at the shells scattered across the beach. Sonya slipped her hand into Harriet’s, interlocking their fingers. She smiled at her brightly and everything else seemed to melt away. How she wished they could’ve just stayed there in that moment, where there was nothing else in the world but them. How she wished they could’ve stopped what was coming next.
They found a spot sheltered from the wind and Harriet pulled open her backpack, taking out the lunch they’d packed up the night before. It was nothing grand, just a few leftover supplies that Vince could spare, but they didn’t need much.
They sat side by side leaning against each other, a blanket thrown over their laps as they reminisced on their time together. They laughed over Rachel’s chaotic arrival and the distrust they’d had for Aris in those early days. They cried as they talked about Mary, remembering all that she’d sacrificed for the group. Maybe I’ll see her soon, Sonya had said softly, staring off into the distance.
It was peaceful. It was perfect.
By the time they got back to the camp it was well into the evening; the walk had been slow, Sonya’s arm draped over Harriet’s shoulder, body pressed tight against her side as she leant heavily on Harriet for support. Sonya had watched silently as Harriet prepared the fire, curled up against the large rocks, a blanket wrapped around her, knees pulled tightly up against her chest. Just as Harriet was preparing to settle down next to her, Sonya had pulled herself to her feet and had stretched her hand out to Harriet.
Dance with me, one last time.
Neither of them spoke, their arms wrapped around each other, bodies pressed tightly together and they moved gently side-to-side. Sonya’s head rested against her chest, her breathing shallow. There wasn’t much time left. She closed her eyes, remembering the first time she’d spoken to her - really spoken to her. How Sonya had been so determined they would become friends. The thought was so ridiculous to Harriet now - how could she have ever thought otherwise.
She could remember their argument in the Scorch - their first real argument, how Sonya had pushed back and it wasn’t until then, until their faces were inches apart, that Harriet had realised just how much she really cared for her, and that those feelings ran deeper than just friendship.
The first time they’d kissed; unexpected yet passionate, the relief she’d felt knowing Sonya had felt the same after months of uncertainty. The realisation that maybe there was a life out there for them.
She pressed her face into Sonya’s hair, smiling as she remembered Sonya clapping her hands in delight when Vince and Mary welcomed them into the Right Arm camp. The infectious smile on her face as she described how breathtaking the view from the hill overlooking their campsite was. Her laugh as she joked with Aris and Harriet over dinner, the night that WCKD had taken them.
Sonya had been right after all - it had been a love story.
But it was also a tragedy.
This wasn’t meant to be the end of her story; for someone whose will to live had burned so brightly to be extinguished so prematurely was nothing but a cruel irony. To know that after tonight she’d never hear Sonya’s laugh again, she’d never wake up next to her again, and they’d never have the chance to travel the world and see all the things that they'd wanted to do. All of that had been taken.
But despite the pain, she was grateful for all the moments they’d had. She’d been so lucky to have fallen in love. And knowing the end, she’d do it all over again, without hesitation, just for a chance to love her one more time.
As the sun disappeared beyond the horizon and the stars shone brightly in the sky, Sonya finally pulled back from their embrace, looking up at Harriet with a bittersweet smile, tears pooling in her eyes.
Goodbye, my love.
Harriet woke with a start, the cool autumn breeze sharp against her bare skin. Her blanket must have fallen off during the night; as she reached down out of the hammock to grab it, she found herself instinctively glancing over to the bed next to her, searching for a tussle of blonde hair, loosely braided and tangled from the night. But it wasn’t there. Sonya wasn’t there.
It wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was meant to be.
Three months had passed since it had happened. Since the Last City had fallen, since they’d lost Teresa, and Newt, and Sonya. She’d played those last few days over and over again in her head, thinking of all the what-ifs and could-haves that might have changed the outcome. Over, and over again, she’d tried to find a solution to a problem that no longer existed. A different ending to a story already written into history.
Harriet slipped out of the hammock, quietly making her way through the maze of beds towards the eastern side of the camp. Slipping on her shoes, she started on the trek up the hill, brushing past the ferns scattering the forest floor, swatting the occasional rogue branch out of her way. Above her, the birds chirped loudly, each singing their own song yet somehow creating a harmony that echoed through the forest.
As she stepped out of the forest and onto the clifftop, she paused for a moment, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh air before settling down in her usual spot, the ground still wet with the morning dew,
Sonya would have loved it up here, away from all the noise, surrounded by nature, looking out onto the vast ocean, a world of possibilities laying just beyond the horizon. Her chest ached with the thought. She would have given anything to be here with her right now, back pressed against the rough bark of old tree
A branch snapped behind her, startling her from her thoughts. Thomas appeared from the forest, surprised to see her.
“Hey,” she said, looking up at him.
“Sorry, I didn’t think anyone else would be here.” He looked hesitant, already starting to turn back towards the path,
“It’s all good, company is always welcome.” She motioned to the spot next to her. “If you want.”
Thomas sat down beside her, crossing his legs to mirror Harriet’s position. They stayed there in silence for a moment, letting the cool sea breeze pass between them as they looked out towards the cliff edge at the two stones placed side by side, Newt, and Sonya engraved into them. How it should have been.
She didn’t know all the details surrounding Newt’s death; she wasn’t sure Thomas would ever be ready to share all of that, but she knew enough. Knew that Thomas had been so certain he’d be able to save Newt, and knew that they’d been seconds too late.
He hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye, not in the way that Harriet had with Sonya. She’d tried to tell herself to be grateful for the final day she had with Sonya, for knowing that the end was coming, for having the chance to hold her tight during those last few moments. And she was grateful, truly. It just didn’t take away the pain.
Because that was the thing about loss, you could never really prepare for it.
“Do you think they know?” Thomas asked softly, breaking the silence, staring off into the distance.
“Know what?”
“How sorry we are? That we couldn’t save them?” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him but she could hear the pain in his words, the quiver in his voice as he spoke them.
“I don’t know,” Harriet whispered.
She breathed in deeply, letting the air fill her lungs, willing it to push out the pain that was swirling inside of her. Sometimes all it took was the mention of her and it would all come rushing back, the hurt so intense, so deep and overwhelming that her body just wanted to collapse under the weight of it all.
“I don’t think they’d want us to feel guilty about being the ones left behind though. I think they’d want us to be happy.”
Thomas paused, weighing up her words. “I don’t think I know how to do that.”
“Give it time. That’s what Sonya would say.” Sonya. It only now occurred to her that she’d been avoiding saying her name, the name sounding sharp on her tongue, rusty and unpracticed. Had she even said it since she’d died?
Thomas laughed, the sound empty. “Neither of us are particularly patient people.”
“Yeah. But it doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or even in three months from now. It takes as long as it takes, but I believe we’ll get there. We’ll figure it out.”
Later that evening, the fire glowed bright against the shadows of the night, the flames dancing high into the dark sky as the camp gathered around, listening to Vince’s weekly speech before breaking out into a chorus of cheers and laughter.
Harrriet leaned against the wooden column observing the evening’s festivities when Aris wandered over. He gave a curt nod, before leaning next to her, letting the silence settle comfortably between them.
“And what brings you out to my corner of the festivities?” Harriet asked, eventually breaking the quiet.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn't realise you’d reserved this corner.” Aris glanced over at her, smiling sincerely. “I wanted to see how you were doing. Vince said you were gone from camp for a while this morning.”
Goddamn Vince. “Yeah, I went up to the clifftop. Haven’t been up there much,” she said with a sigh, shrugging. “You should be down there, enjoying the festivities, instead of moping back here with me.”
“Well firstly, I don’t think you’re moping.” Aris quickly countered, and Harriet raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re just experiencing tonight differently to everyone else, and that’s okay.” Aris paused, weighing up his next words. “It just, it all feels so different now, you know? It feels like something is missing.” Harriet nodded slowly as Aris continued. “She would have loved this. The fire, the celebrations, the laughter. All of us here, safe.” Aris paused again, glancing over at Harriet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Aris stated it almost plainly; without pity, without sadness.
“No, you didn’t, it’s a happy memory.” Aris seemed unconvinced. “Everything feels so fragile right now, so unfamiliar. It’s like… I’m having to relearn how to navigate my way through the world, you know? And I feel so grateful for the time we had together, but right now, I just feel so lost. Everything hurts.”
“I know, I feel that too, a part of it at least. I know it’s not quite the same, I mean, I loved her too. Differently, but..”
“I know you did,” Harriet said softly, wrapping her arm around him. “You know, at first I wasn’t sure if I could figure out how to breathe without her. When you guys had been taken by WCKD it was different, I knew we would get you back, I’d convinced myself of it. There was a drive that fuelled me and kept the grief at bay, because I knew it was only temporary. But this is permanent. And the pain, those first few weeks was so immense, the grief so overwhelming, that I wasn’t sure how to do it.”
“How did you figure it out?”
“I didn’t really. But I’d promised her that I would keep going, and so I did. I got up every day. Had breakfast. Did whatever activity I’d been assigned, and went to bed and did it all again. And it just started to get easier.”
“And now?” Aris asked hesitantly. “After three months, how does it feel?”
“It still hurts, all of the time. But just not as much. And I can do things, enjoy things, even while I’m still holding the pain. It follows me around, like a shadow, I guess. Always there, can’t get rid of it.” She laughs, the sound hollow. “But I’m learning to live with it. And that’s enough for now.”
Aris nodded. “I think I understand. You know, I’m always here, if you need to talk.”
Harriet nodded, smiling softly. “Go on,” she motioned towards the camp, “you should rejoin them.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, have some fun for me. I’ll be back here, moping,” she said with a laugh as Aris started to make his way down towards the campfire.
“Not moping!” Aris called out as he disappeared into the crowd.
Harriet breathed in deeply, letting the cool sea air push down the grief that was threatening to spill over. Not now, not tonight. Aris was right; she would have loved it here, and Harriet wanted to feel that.
She lowered herself down onto the step, shifting her weight to find a comfortable position on the rocky ledge, leaning back against the fencepost as she closed her eyes.
She could hear Sonya’s laugh, feel the brush of her shoulder against her own as she sat down next to her, her hand sliding gently into Sonya’s.
It wasn’t real, at least, not anymore. But for now, she could pretend she was here with her; the memory was so clear, so tangible, she could almost convince herself the last 3 months were just make-believe, some sick fantasy, a nightmare she was just waking up from. Almost.
Some people say it’s important to let go of the past, which, in some instances, was true. She knew, in time, the bitterness and anger she felt towards WCKD would eventually fade - it already had started to. But Sonya? That was something she’d never let go.
Those precious moments, pieces of memories that she would hold tight and carry with her wherever she went. They were hers, and nothing could take them from her.
Harriet turned to look at Sonya; she couldn’t believe there was ever a time when she thought she wasn’t in love with her. The fire burned brightly behind her, the light bouncing off her golden locks creating a halo behind her. She looked so peaceful as she watched the fire twirl in the light breeze, the shadows dancing across her face.
The group had mostly dispersed, and she could hear the camp start to settle down for the night. A few remained around the fire pit; Vince and Mary were off to one side, and another pair had fallen asleep against each other, backs resting against the rough hillside.
“Poor Vince has been looking particularly stressed this afternoon.” Sonya whispered, motioning over to where Vince was pacing back and forth, hands gesturing wildly as Mary, patient as ever, just sat there and listened.
“Did you hear the reports on the radio? About the incident at the WCKD facility?”
“Hmm,” Sonya murmured in agreement.
“What do you think happened? Vince said he’s heard rumours a group of kids escaped.”
“They’ll be searching high and low for them, no doubt. Like they did for us.” Another WCKD escape. Sonya stiffened beside her, shifting uncomfortably. They were both thinking about it; WCKD had been relentless in their search for them, the days marred by fear, their terrors creeping filling the corners of their minds, following them through the nights.
They’d given so much and had lost so much - so much of themselves. That was the thing with WCKD, they would just take and take and take - without shame, without consequence - until there was nothing left of a person.
And if there were more kids? Another escape? WCKD wouldn’t stop, they both knew that. They couldn’t afford to lose another group, their search would be punishing, they would be hunted like animals and would burn everything in their path to complete their mission. WCKD has never seen them as kids, and perhaps that was why it was easier for them - if they were simply objects serving a purpose then they wouldn’t need to justify all the hurt they were causing.
Harriet sighed deeply; she could feel it - they both could. The ground shifting beneath them once again, the safety of the Right Arm camp starting to fade away.
“Let’s not talk about that right now.” Sonya finally said, rubbing her hands over her face. “Let’s just enjoy tonight, and whatever tomorrow brings, we’ll deal with it then. We’ll go insane, otherwise.”
Sonya stood up, turning around to face Harriet, eyebrows raised, her mouth pulled into a cunning smile.
“Dance with me, Harriet,” Sonya had laughed, stretching out her arm to welcome her, a mischievous glint twinkling in her eyes.
“You know I don’t dance,” Harriet had countered, rolling her eyes.
“I know, but just for one night, we can pretend you do.” And really, how could she say no.
Sonya let out a delighted cheer as Harriet took her hand, letting her twirl her around; they moved freely around the fire pit, laughing as they bumped into each other, arms getting tangled as they moved around each other. Harriet wasn’t sure how long they danced like that for, it was messy and imperfect, but it was all they needed.
Everything else melted away and it was just the two of them, and she felt free. Truly free. It wouldn't last, she knew that, but for now she let herself soak in the feeling. Moments like these were rare, and she wasn’t going to waste it.
Eventually they slowed, closing the space between them as they wrapped their arms around each other, Sonya’s head resting against Harriet’s chest, the pair gently swaying from side to side.
There was a version of her, the young girl who’d been sent up in the box, alone and scared, who never could have dreamed of this. Of being truly happy, despite it all. She’d needed to survive, and so she’d become the person she should she’d needed. But with time, she’d learnt that it didn’t just need to be about survival - there were other parts of her that she'd pushed down, worried they’d just make her weak, - but she learned she could co-exist with all of it. The parts that turned life into something worth living, not just something she was trying to survive.
Sonya had always been someone who had lived in the moment - a quality that had deeply annoyed Harriet in the early days. Stopping to watch the sunrise, to appreciate the colours of the sand (of all things!), to dance around a firepit - those were actions that had felt so deeply unfamiliar to Harriet. But Sonya had never faltered, a fearlessness burning so brightly inside of her that challenged Harriet in ways she could have never imagined.
The younger version of herself, to whom all of this would be so deeply unfamiliar, so desperately uncomfortable, she was grateful for her. Without her, she wouldn’t survive, she shouldn’t have had the chance to know Sonya, and this version wouldn’t exist; the person she was now who was lucky enough to fall in love, to have someone to wake up every day next to, and to not have to go through this fight alone.
“We should rest, we have an early start patrolling the canyon roads.” She was being practical, but Harriet wished the moment would never end.
“Always so serious,” Sonya laughed gently, her breath warm against Harriet’s skin, “Just a moment more.”
And yet, even though she had all of this, she couldn’t shake the fear that one day this could all change.
“Don’t leave me.” Her voice sounded weak, fading into the night air. It was absurd, really, that she was worried about this now. But she’d seen how quickly fates could be decided in a world where WCKD played the puppet master.
Sonya shifted back to look up at Harriet, her eyebrows pulling in concern. “I won’t, I promise.”
“I don’t know how I could live in this world without you,” Harriet whispered, the truth of her words catching her off guard. “I think it would break me.”
“Oh, my love, it’s never going to come to that.” Sonya reached up, running her hand down Harriet’s cheek and gently turning her head until they were looking at each other. “But…” Harriet raised her eyebrows at Sonya, “if, for some reason, I couldn’t stay, I wouldn’t want you to stop living your life. The world will keep moving.”
“Easy to say now,” Harriet countered, rolling her eyes. “Hypotheticals are one thing, but reality…” she trailed off.
“Well in that case, I guess we’ll just have to grow old together.”
“And then I’ll be the first to go.”
“I don’t think that’s something you can decide for yourself,” Sonya said with a small laugh. “It’s not exactly like we live in a world where tomorrow is guaranteed.”
“Insightful, I hadn’t realised.” The sarcasm was sharp, guarding.
“Hiding your emotions with defensiveness? Classic,” Sonya laughed, the sound echoing into the night. “There’s so much out there that we don’t know about, so much to see and explore when we’re not fighting for our survival every day. Don’t you want to know more, to experience all of it?”
“So much to see on a sun ravaged earth?”
“Well, that’s what we’re been told, yeah. But we didn’t know about the Last City. We didn’t know about this place,” she said, motioning to the mountains around her. “And we know there’s an island, a Safe Haven we will travel to. There could be dozens more communities, just like us, pockets of human survivors all over the planet. I want to see as much as I can, to travel to these places, find others like us and to help them.” A smile pulled wide across her face as she spoke, and Harriet found herself entranced by Sonya’s passion.
“I’m not sure how practical that all is. Travelling the world.” Again, she was being practical, but the words felt empty; if this is the life Sonya wanted, then Harriet wanted to do it all with her.
“I know. But we’re going to live a life together, on this messed up, broken planet. And it’s not going to be easy, but I want to feel it all, all the pain, the joy, I want to laugh and cry and see all the things this world has to offer, and help those we can. And I want to do it all with you. We’ll keep doing it until we’re old, until our knees give out and we can’t walk anymore.” Sonya paused, taking a deep breath, “And if my journey ends before yours, or vice versa, then we’ll keep going. We’ll grieve, and we’ll get up, and we’ll keep going. We’ll survive, because that’s what we do. And then one day, we’ll start to live again.”
“Oh my God, that’s cheesy.” Harriet choked out, the words catching in her throat as she blinked away the tears.
“Oh shut up, I know,” Sonya laughed, gently wiping a tear away from Harriet’s cheek. “And yet, you still love me.”
“I do. And I always will.”