Chapter Text
He couldn't quite place what was wrong, just a nagging feeling in the back of his mind and a constant feeling of displacement. He was moving through the motions, playing the part of a prince that returned to glory after Azula gave him the credit of killing the Avatar. He still didn’t know her reasoning. Even after confronting her, she never gave him a real answer and only vague ideals that he would normally accept but not this time. Something was changing.
His visits to his uncle in prison continued to frustrate him. Iroh was unresponsive and his usual source of wisdom had abandoned him, leaving him with no outlet to process his turmoil. He thought about the water Katara had shown him in the caves. How even after everything he had done, she had shown him kindness and was willing to use a precious commodity with no expectation of payment. And he had betrayed her. Her tears and obvious pain after Aang went down was seared into the back of his eye lids. A nightmare he couldn’t escape. He wasn’t sure if he did the right thing. Years of focus and determination to rejoin his family and get his father’s approval overshadowed his rationality when under pressure. A choice he was starting to regret. He thought of the disappointment his uncle had shown him once they had escaped and the pit of anxiety and doubt only deepened with time.
When his confusion and anxiety finally broke him and he went to his uncle to ask for forgiveness, he was grateful that he did not turn him away. He followed his advice and went to the catacombs, reading the history his family had shared with the Avatar opened a new path for him. A new goal. Something he could be proud of. He planned his exit carefully, his confrontation with his father was eye opening. He was ready and when he finally was able to make contact with the people he hoped to help, he was rejected. He felt a deep sense of self hatred in that moment, the lowest he has ever gone. His past choices caught up to him and he risked his life to try and fix them.
Even after he was reluctantly accepted into their team, he was still an outsider. The friction with Katara was the worst, understandably so. Her threats to protect the people she cared for most was something he could respect even if it was unsettling. He bonded with each member of the team in different ways. Finding a new purpose after visiting the Sun warriors was enlightening. His entire understanding of firebending had changed and his bending was the most powerful it had ever been. His adventure with Sokka to rescue his father had opened their friendship and gave him an opportunity to make peace with Katara. She was a proud and kind person to a fault and he was impressed by her restraint. Her unwillingness to warp her morals even in the face of her mother’s murderer. He earned her forgiveness and though he and Toph were not close they had a cordial relationship. He found a place in their group and found a passion in teaching Aang how to firebend. His improvement was rewarding but the anxiety of knowing what was coming kept him on edge. He didn’t plan on telling them about the plan to wipe out the Earth Kingdom, assuming they were still on track to defeat his father before it came to that but he was sorely mistaken. After the truth came out the whole team was riddled with nerves. A palpable tension in Aang’s unwillingness to kill and Sokka’s insistence that it must be done.
They did their best to ensure Aang was at his best for the fight to come but before they could leave, he was gone. His disappearance made Zuko’s heart sink, fearing he fled out of cowardice but his other friends didn’t doubt him. They insisted that Aang would be there and so Zuko could only trust them. They searched for the only other person he believed might stand a chance against the most powerful bender in the fire nation. His uncle. He had escaped prison before he had a chance to break him out and thankfully his strange unwillingness to part with the only thing he had left of him paid off. They found him preparing to take back Ba Sing Se with a group of other master benders they all seemed to know. When they made a strategy to divide their forces and do the best they could with the belief that Aang would show up, he hesitated. He had volunteered to face his sister, someone who he had never been able to defeat before. His sibling that had out shone him his whole life but he was confident this time would be different. He had the support of Katara and they had the advantage.
Azula’s challenge of Agni kai was predictable. She was smart and her battle sense was perfect. She knew she was out matched against them both and chose to challenge his pride. He had meant to reject her but something in her tone made him accept. His reassurance to Katara felt forced but he couldn’t explain it. His once confident and rational sister was consumed by arrogance and a hint of madness that twinkled in her eyes. They were evenly matched and he could see the frustration and disbelief cracking her expression. His provocation was a mistake though. The desperation to protect his friend made him move before he could process the decision and his crumpled form made him take the full brunt of her lightning. He could only watch in fear as Azula tormented and hunted Katara like a rabid dog. Her attempts to reach him failed and the pain was making his vision blurry. He must have blacked out for a minute because the next thing he knew, the pain was subsiding and he was able to see Katara healing his burn and the cool feeling of water on his chest.
It wasn’t much longer until the sky that had been stained in hues of red and orange faded back into a perfect blue sky. The war was over and the news of Ozai’s defeat brought such a strong sense of relief, his knees weakened and he cried for the first time in a long time. As the only heir left of his family, he inherited the throne with the blessing of his uncle and his life changed dramatically. He was reunited with Mei after she was released from prison and he started to feel a new sense of normalcy. Time passed quickly after that, his new role was taxing and his chest wound was slow to heal. After a few months and major changes to every part of the world, he finally sought out Katara. He had visited his friends a few times now but with his new demanding job it was difficult to make the time.
He wrote her a letter and sent it via messenger hawk. She arrived a few days later.
“Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t healing! I could have helped sooner!” Katara huffed, crossing her arms and acting like the teenager she was never allowed to express before. He gave her a small smile.
“Sorry, it's not like it was intentional, I’ve just been busy.”
“Uh huh, sure. Whatever you say, mister firelord.” She waved him towards the bed and he chuckled but followed her instructions. He laid down and removed his shirt exposing the angry red burn that refused to heal. The minor healing around the edges barely covered even an 8th of the damaged skin.
“Geez this is bad.” she muttered but began her healing as she normally would, refraining from lecturing him further about his poor care of his body. The warm water provided some much needed pain relief and he relaxed for the first time in what felt like weeks. After a few minutes Katara halted the technique and furrowed her brow. He looked down and found the wound didn’t seem any better.
“Why did you stop?” He asked, slowly sitting up. She was quiet for a moment before sighing heavily.
“I’m not going to be able to heal this.”
“What? Why not?” He was honestly surprised. He thought all healing was the same.
“Healing is not my specialty. While traveling and learning bending, my focus was on combat skills not support so I only learned the basics.” She shook her head.
“ So what now? The doctors here have done what they can but it's not helping.” She started to pace as she contemplated something.
“There is someone I can ask for help from. Another water bender who is gifted at healing. She’s working in the Earth Kingdom and runs a clinic.”
“Okay so, can you ask them?”
“I can but they are pretty stubborn and might turn me down..” She trailed off and stopped mid stride. Suddenly she grinned wide. “I have an idea!” Zuko had a feeling it was going to mess with his already packed schedule. “Let’s hear it.”
____
He was dropped off in front of a small building in a remote village by Appa and Katara. He had been expecting this healer to be in a big city if they were so good but the place was practically falling apart. He hesitantly knocked on the brittle front door and a soft voice called for him to come inside. He slowly opened the door in fear it might fall off if he pushed it too hard. The inside was vastly different and was well put together. There were medicinal herbs hanging from the ceiling to dry above the fireplace. An ornate rug covered most of the floor and several cots with thick padding were laid in rows towards the right side. There was also a table with a number of small packages that seemed half filled and were lined up next to an assortment of tools to prepare the herbs. His eyes caught on a separation between what must be the kitchen and the rest of the house. The sound of clinking plates and running water hidden behind the partition. There was a pause and then it swung inward to reveal a woman that couldn’t be much older than him. She was shorter with white hair that was fastened in a messy bun with strands hanging around her big green eyes. Freckled sprinkled across her nose and cheeks like constellations. She was wearing a simple shirt and pants covered by an apron with a water skin strapped to her hips. She was drying her hands on a small towel and looked up at him.
“Hello, um, I was told Katara had spoken to you?” he asked, feeling a nervous flutter in his chest. Something he had seemed to be developing a habit for considering how many new people he had met in the last few months. He brushed it off as his inner introvert’s nerves and watched as recognition lit up her face.
“Ah, yes the new firelord.” she let the towel fall across the back of a nearby chair. “ Zuko, right? Mind if I just call you by your name? Not a fan of all those fancy titles.” she giggled and started to walk over to one of the cots, motioning for him to follow.
“I don’t mind, still getting used to it myself.” She nodded and flashed him a grin. He sat down on the cot she pointed to as she took a seat on the stool next to it.
“My name is Lyra.” she offered and grabbed the bottom of his shirt and started lifting. “ Heard you got a bad burn on your chest.” He couldn’t help but blush at her sudden attempt to undress him.
“Uh.. yeah.” He allowed her to pull it off and she whistled.
“Yikes, that's got to hurt.” she pushed on his shoulder lightly and he laid on his back. He shrugged and gave a half hearted smile. It did hurt, constantly, but he had learned to grin and bear it. They fell in companionable silence and he watched as she inspected his skin, making notes in a small notebook she had retrieved from one of the pockets in her apron.
“You’ve got quite the infection festering in here.” She pointed to the center of the wound. “That's why Katara can’t heal it. Depending on the infection, it could kill you if left alone.” His jaw dropped.
“It’s that bad?” he couldn’t help but gape. His doctors had assured him that it would heal with time.
“Yep, good thing Katara is smarter than your idiot doctors.” She put her book to the side and took a deep breath. “This is going to hurt.” she said her eyes suddenly became very serious. “ This infection has been left for too long and has progressed deeper into your chest. Normally I would try to fight it with my medical herbs and a strict regimen of healing but you're a very busy person so we are going with the quick and painful method.” He felt the weight of his procrastination sink in. He closed his eyes and grimaced.
“ How bad will it be?” He asked, unsure if he even wanted to know.
“I’ll be blunt. We need to cut away the infection to heal it fully. It will take time to make sure I get it all but by the time we are done, you should be perfectly healed.” He met her eyes and saw them soften. “ I can knock you out if you want?” she offered, placing a hand on his arm. He held her gaze for a minute before taking a deep breath.
“No, I can take it.” She rolled her eyes.
“Did you know that every man who I have had to do this for has all said the same thing? I have yet to have someone last the whole time before tapping out and asking me to put them out.” She shook her head and stood up to grab what she needed, an assortment of small knives, a bowl of clean water, several towels and something to create a barrier so it didn’t reach his pants.
“ Is it that bad?” he asked, genuinely curious to know about her experiences. “ Have you done this a lot?”
“ I wouldn’t say a lot but over the last few years, I’ve had several patients with rushed amputations that became infected and needed this treatment. Most were from accidents during their work or..” She trailed off for a moment before finishing. “ from the consequences of the war.”
He frowned at the reminder of the permanent scar his family had created in the other kingdoms. She finally finished putting all her things within reach and he looked around noticing her seat as now taken. She clapped and smiled.
“ Now the awkward part!” She fumbled with a few straps before tying his wrists and ankles to the bed to hold him down.
“This is very unsettling.” He murmured, tugging at the very well tied restraints that held him in place. “ Oh, this isn’t the awkward part yet.” His attention turned back to her face that now had a very faint blush on her tanned cheeks. “ I want to preface this by saying your wound is in a very unfortunate location.” He raised an eyebrow and quickly realized why she called it awkward. She swiftly straddled his waist until she was sitting uncomfortably close to something they were both embarrassed by.
“Why?” he could only wheeze out because he wasn’t so sure about this anymore and he was a very healthy 17 year old boy with hormones. “It’s the position that gives me the best leverage.” She squeaked out, clearly also very uncomfortable and her growing blush didn’t help anything. She took a deep breath and fanned her face a bit before gritting her teeth.
“Are you ready?” she asked, picking up a scalpel and holding it above his chest. With the looming knife so close to his throbbing wound his mind narrowed in on the pain he was sure to feel and the embarrassment suddenly felt like a distant memory. He took a deep breath and nodded stiffly. “Okay, Just relax and remember it’s okay to pass out.” That did not help his anxiety in the slightest. There was one more moment of anticipation and then all he could think about was pain.
The second that cold metal pressed to his gapping wound was like a hot searing pain that was so strong it made him dizzy. He barely registered the broken cry he let out as it pierced into his flesh and was dragged in a circle. The damaged skin gave little resistance and the skin almost tore instead of cutting. Dragging the burnt flesh with it. Suddenly everything felt so far away. He couldn’t hear anything, The world was gone and replaced by sheer agony. His arms instinctively raised trying to push her away but her straps were strong and did their job. He began to tremble with the pain. Deep gutteral moans ripping from his wind pipe in a chorus of torture.
Lyra gritted her teeth and tried to take the edge off. Her hand glowing blue as the swirling water enveloped it. She took a moment to pull the piece she had cut away and blood gushed forth. Her healing hand quickly covered the wound and within seconds the bleeding had stopped. His breathing had turned into rough incremental gasps rather than the steady breathing she would prefer. Her eyes stung with tears but she wouldn’t let them fall. She quickly used the knife to cut away a different section. Fresh screams shook her and she had to clench her thighs to avoid him bucking her off.
After what felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes. He finally passed out, so overwhelmed by the pain that his body shut down in an effort to protect itself. The screaming stopped but he still twitched and writhed with every swipe of her knife. Finally she had removed it all but the wound was much deeper now. A canyon dug into the center of the wound and branched out towards the edges. She took a deep breath and let her hands hover over the wound. The water extended to touch him in a warm embrace that coated his torso. With every inch it covered the blue became lighter and lighter until the glow was practically white.
Sweat beaded at her temples as she focused all her energy. She felt the water caress his skin and slowly the inflamed tissue began to knit back together. It was a slow process as it shrunk in size until only a small center point remained. The flesh was pink and soft but healed and clear of infection. She slowly relaxed and felt the exhaustion starting to consume her. She tried to lift her knee to get off him but her legs were trembling from the strain. She was fading and with the last of her strength, she managed to free one of his wrists. Her energy finally fully depleted and she collapsed forward slipping into a dreamless sleep on top of his newly healed chest.
___
The first thing he could feel was a heavy weight on top of him followed by the realization that it didn’t hurt anymore. He cracked his eyes open slowly, noticing that the room was quite dark. It must have been hours since he passed out because when they started, the sun was still high in the sky. Then he noticed the hair tickling his neck. He turned his head slightly and saw Lyra passed out on top of him. He stared for a moment, unsure how to free himself from his current position. He stretched his extremities and found his right wrist was free. He slowly turned his body, bracing the sleeping girl against him to avoid stirring her too much. Luckily the wide bed gave him the space to successfully set her next to him so he could reach his other wrist. Once he was free, his ankles were easy. She didn’t even twitch as he stood up and stretched. He ran a hand over his chest and found there were little indents in his skin fanning out from the center where the worst for the wound had been. He was pain free and the throbbing reminder of his final battle was completely gone. He had to hand it to her. She did a fantastic job even if the process was horrible.
He took stock of the bloody mess around the bed. Towels soaked in blood were thrown haphazardly to the side, the clean water basin was now a deep red color. Only one of the scalpels seemed to have been used and was now sitting in the bottom of the basin. He grimaced but didn't even know where to start to try and clean up. Instead he grabbed the folded blanket on the other cot and carefully laid it over his healer. He felt great appreciation for her skills and ability. He shook his head, feeling the exhaustion still tugging at him and laid down on the bed next to her. He stared at her for a few minutes. Her slow breathing and silvery hair that seemed to catch the light of the moon that streamed through the cracks in the door was easily one of the most beautiful colors he had ever seen. The only thing he could compare it to was from a fairytale his mother read to him when he was young. A tale about spirits and ethereal visitors to our world whose beauty was incomparable to mortals. He thought if there was a spirit dedicated to beauty, they would look like her. Slowly his eyes fell closed and he joined her in sleep.
—-
“Hey Mister” a voice called softly “Time to wake up.” He groaned and his brow knitted in annoyance. A giggle and then a rough push made his eyes shoot open. He steadied himself before he could fall off and whipped his eyes around. He froze as he took in the pair of small children, maybe 8 or 9 years old, that stood next to his cot. He blinked a few times trying to process and shake off the remnants of sleep trying to cling to him. He slowly sat up right and looked around. The bloody aftermath of yesterday’s procedure was gone. Fresh bedding was on the cot, the blood stains on the wood floor had disappeared and any traces of the mess were absent.
“I told you to wake him, not push him off the bed.” Lyra chided as she emerged from the back room. The kids giggled before running out of the house, one of them carrying a small brown bag like the ones he saw on the table when he arrived. “Sorry about that. How are you feeling?” She asked, walking over and casually touching his forehead with the back of her hand.
“I’m good. Great even, best I’ve felt in ages.” She huffed a laugh. “ Yeah, I bet. It's what happens when you are no longer in constant pain.” She pulled her hand away and he rubbed at it in wonder. “ I feel super light and refreshed.”
“That would be the lack of fever from infection.” She started to put some herbs into a new bag, pulling out a series of small drawers he hadn’t noticed before and grabbed a small amount of dried leaves from a few of them. She sealed it carefully and handed it to him. “Use these to make tea. One cup every day for two weeks. Should clear up any lingering infection that I may have missed but I doubt it.” She grinned with pride. “Some of my best work!” He nodded, taking the small bag from her hands.
“ How much do I owe you?” He asked, ready to pay anything she asked for.
“Whatever you are comfortable with.” She shrugged.
“What?”
“I don’t charge for my services. I take donations.” He sat there for a moment, stunned that she wasn’t doing this for profit. Her living conditions started to make sense. Why she was out here in the sticks instead of the city. Why she didn’t tell him the amount when she started her assessment. He couldn’t fathom it.
“Why not?” He asked genuinely curious.
“Because I don’t want to turn away people I can help just because they can’t pay.” She smiled. “Everyone has a story from the war. It was only a few months ago that anything changed.” She took a seat. “ Let me tell you a story.” He didn’t interrupt, her face told him this was very important.
“When I was a baby, My parents were returning from a brief trip to the Earth Kingdom back to the Northern Water tribe. They were attacked by a Fire Nation war ship and were forced to retreat back to the Earth Kingdom. They sought solace and safe haven when they arrived only to be caught and thrown in prison. My parents managed to hide me before they were found by Fire Nation soldiers. I didn’t see them for over ten years and was raised by the family that found me. I was lucky and my parents were released after time served but they were sick. Very very sick.” She paused, her hand trembled slightly before she squeezed it tight. “My father died first, a few months after his release. My mother taught me everything she knew about healing when we were reunited. I practiced on her and learned about herbs and which could be used to treat sickness. She lived for a few years like that before eventually she passed too. That was three years ago. I decided to use the knowledge to help anyone who needed me. Like the kind Earth Kingdom family that raised me like their own and my parents who never showed me their dislike for the Fire Nation, even after their unlawful imprisonment.” She looked up and smiled at him. “So Mister Firelord, I will treat you like any other patient. Donate what you can, but I don’t need payment.”
Zuko was astounded by her story. She had every right to hate him and his people for what happened to her parents but she genuinely didn’t. He wondered if she had any animosity at all or if she really was just a perfectly pure soul. He hesitated a moment before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out the pouch he had brought full of gold of both the Earth Kingdom’s and the Fire Nation’s currency. She gasped and he could see her getting ready to protest but held up a hand. He reached into another pocket and pulled out a gold amulet with the symbol of the Fire Nation royal family engraved on it. He placed the bag of money on the cot and stood up, taking her hand and placing the amulet in her palm.
“You said you don’t take payment. This is a donation. And this,” He closed her fingers around the amulet. “ Is a promise to help you for any reason, at any time, without hesitation. Use it for anything you need.” He smiled. “Please let me do this much.”
She looked like she wanted to protest but eventually just sighed and nodded. “ If you must.” He smiled, wide and genuine with a little flutter in his chest. A light flush washed across her cheeks before she turned away to put the items in a safe location. It wasn't long before Appa and Katara landed outside her house.
“Thank you for this!” Katara beamed, wrapping Lyra in a tight hug before asking Zuko to lift his shirt. He revealed his chest for the first time in a long time without the gaping hole and instead of eyes being drawn to his wound they were drawn to his strong physique. Lyra flushed red and swiftly turned away to walk outside. Katara inspected her work and nodded with approval.
“Good as new!” she grinned and slapped his shoulder. He jolted forward with the force and rubbed the sore area with a frown. “ Was that really necessary?” He griped and she laughed.
They walked outside where Lyra was feeding Appa some cabbage and petting his fur. Her hair was fluttering over her shoulders and her eyes twinkled with delight while she reunited with the furry beast. Katara continued forward to chat with her fellow bender while he hung back. He watched her laugh and the unabashed joy that seemed to make her shine made his heart feel full and he could feel it thudding strongly in his chest. He pressed a hand to it and wondered if he would ever get to see her again.