Chapter Text
“Will you be sitting there moping forever or will you actually do something for once? We’ve got far too many people doing nothing as it is, and you certainly aren’t helping.” Esther’s husband (regretfully), Prince Arthur, asked.
Esther ignored him. Ignoring him was the only way she could suppress her burning desire to stab him with a pitchfork.
Arthur groaned. “I can’t believe I married you. Will you ever do anything of use?”
“Not if I can help it.” Esther glared out the window, pointedly avoiding eye contact.
“You’re lucky you’re beautiful.” Arthur turned on his heel and left. He had a habit of doing that.
Beautiful. The word had become tainted by all the ways in which it had been used; not as a compliment, but rather, an excuse. The only reason she’d made it this far. It made Esther sick.
Esther was a woman of many regrets. Came with being married to a prince, she supposed. She had originally thought marrying Prince Arthur was a wonderful idea, but after spending only a few days with Arthur, Esther wished she could leave. But she couldn’t say no to a prince, not with the power he held.
Esther could still see the picture of her in her wedding dress, hung up on the mantle above the fireplace. Not the most glorious wedding photo. Her mascara was running down her face, a result of the crying that had happened beforehand, and she looked as though she wanted to both burst into tears and murder everybody at the wedding. She had hardly been aware of her surroundings that day, but if she had been, she was sure both of those things would be true.
~
It was raining outside. The rain tended to give things a miserable feel, at least in Esther’s experience, and such was the case here. She found herself often lamenting the troubles in her life, both past and present, but the dark candlelit room and the sound of rain hitting the roof of the castle gave everything a gloomier feel. In fact, it felt empty. Hollow. Not unlike Esther herself.
She sighed, perhaps a bit dramatically, and more to make herself feel better than anything. Esther was sitting next to the window, gazing out onto the surrounding lands, darkened by dense clouds clogging up the horizon.
She quite liked her room, mainly because it provided a nice view of everything. That fact was helped by the fact that the castle was on top of a mountain, though it looked more like a large hill than anything else. A fair distance away, there were real mountains, stretching across the kingdoms of both Fluvius, the one Esther was in, and Collis, the one right next to it. Said mountains had been the subject of much folklore, earning them quite a reputation in the area.
~
“Your Highness?” Adelaide’s familiar voice was like gunfire in the silence, jolting Esther out of her thoughts. “I saw the candlelight from under your door and was wondering if I may sit with you.”
“Yes, you may. And I’ve told you, you needn’t call me “Your Highness”. I much prefer Esther.”
“Alright. But only when we’re alone.”
“Agreed. I’m not sure the others would be too pleased with it.”
Adelaide took a seat by the hearth, her pale face illuminated by the firelight.
“Do you not like storms?” Esther asked.
“Not very. I get alarmed by loud noises.”
“Is there anything I could help with?”
“I’m alright.” Adelaide had quite a habit of undermining her problems, so it was difficult to judge whether she was telling the truth or just trying to get Esther to stop worrying.
“That wasn’t my question.”
Adelaide paused, before saying. “My ma used to sing to help me fall asleep.”
“I could do that if you like.” Esther offered.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly bother you. It really isn’t a problem.”
“Adelaide, it’s not a bother.” Esther said, a bit harshly, though not unkindly.
Adelaide sighed. “Well, alright then. Would you like to head to my room?”
“That sounds good.”
Adelaide’s bedroom was directly next to Esther’s, and there was a door in between so that they didn’t need to go into the hallway to see each other. They sat together in Esther’s bedroom quite often, both because they enjoyed each other’s company and because Esther’s bedroom was far nicer than Adelaide’s.
The bed dipped under Esther’s weight as she sat next to Adelaide, who had already situated herself under the covers. Esther cleared her throat, a little nervous to sing again. She hadn’t sung in front of others in many years.
Out of the ocean, over the harbor
Lay no sons and lay no daughters
Among the mountains of everlong
'Twas there I wrote me a sad, sad song
And if my lover will not heed it
Take my voice and take my spirit
Leave me weakened and dig my hole
Only my lover, not I, can keep my soul
Only my lover, not I, can keep my soul
“It’s a beautiful song.”
“It is.” Esther smiled into the dark, “Someone I loved quite liked it.”
Adelaide let out a hum of acknowledgement. “You should tell me about him sometime.”
“Maybe.”
“Aren’t the mountains of Everlong right over there?” Adelaide asked, pointing her finger in their general direction, despite the fact that her and Esther could barely see.
“They are.”
“That’s neat.”
They fell into a comfortable silence after that, listening to the sound of rain occasionally interrupted by the flash of lighting illuminating the room and the boom of thunder that followed. Adelaide’s breathing evened out as she fell asleep, and Esther smiled softly before she got up to go sleep in her own room.
~
The calm happiness Esther felt quickly wore off, and she found herself restless. Esther was either too tired to think or thinking too hard she couldn’t sleep, and in this case it was the latter. She tossed and turned in bed until she got sick of it and lit up a candle to see if reading would help, which it unfortunately didn’t; Esther couldn’t focus on anything she was reading. The rain had long since passed, and Esther was still angrily lying in bed until she couldn’t take it anymore. She decided to take a stroll in the garden, hoping she would either tire herself out by walking or would be calmed by the fresh air and being under the stars. Esther loved the stars.
Silence and emptiness filled the castle, Esther’s footsteps echoing along the empty halls. She found herself flinching at every little sound or shadow, even though she knew she was safe in the castle and no one could get angry at her for walking about the halls of her own home. The castle was never bustling with people, but there were usually a few of them walking about, and the faint sound of talking could sometimes be heard through the walls.
It was quite a long way out; Esther’s bedroom was on the highest floor, save for the towers, which gave her a nice view, but at the price of climbing many, many stairs every time she entered or exited. Esther usually climbed down a set of stairs off to the side instead of the main ones, seeing as it was less cluttered and closer to her bedroom.
The candle was dark, illuminated by torch flames dancing across the wall, though they were few and far between, and the faint light of the moon streaming through the windows.
A sigh of relief escaped Esther’s lips as she gingerly closed the door behind herself and breathed in the air, fresh from recent rain and lit up by the waxing moon, shining bright despite the cloudy sky. Esther loved the moon because it was serene and peaceful, unlike the sun. The sun was sporadic and unpredictable, burning everything it touched.
Esther walked in the garden, around, and around, and around, through the clusters of poppies and lavender and the carefully placed trees and the rows of white roses, Esther’s favourite flower. They reminded her of her ex-lover, whom she didn’t like to think about, but they remained her favourite regardless of the memories associated with them. Or perhaps because of said memories. Esther wasn’t entirely sure.
As she walked, she gazed at the moon, sang to herself, picked up a stick and twirled it around, grabbed interesting looking rocks, and did other various things to distract herself from her thoughts. It worked fairly well, and she returned to her bedroom exhausted, throwing her shoes and coat on the floor with no intention of putting them away properly and immediately settling into bed.
~
Esther was awoken by thin rays of sunlight peeking through the curtain, illuminating the whole room. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head, trying to block out the sun. It didn’t work, and Esther eventually got sick of the limited oxygen and threw the covers off her head, groaning again.
“Your Highness?” came a voice through the door, “Are you alright?”
“I’m alright,” Esther said, though it came out scratchy. “I might need water, though.”
“Of course!” Esther heard Adelaide’s footsteps fade away, before she came back and gingerly opened the door.
Sitting up, Esther took the water gladly, downing it all at once. “Thank you.”
“No problem. You slept in and missed breakfast, but I didn’t think you’d like it if I woke you, so I brought breakfast up here.”
Adelaide held out a tray, laden with food, still ever so slightly warm. Esther smiled.
“Whatever would I do without you, Adelaide?”
An echo of a smile spread across Adelaide’s face. “Are you aware of supper with the King taking place tonight?”
“I am, now that you’ve reminded me. What time is it now?”
“It’s about noon. The dinner is at about seven.”
“Alright, I’ve got plenty of time.”
Esther and Adelaide settled into a comfortable silence, while Esther ate her breakfast and Adelaide gazed out the window, before beginning to tidy up around the room, despite Esther’s assurances that she really didn’t have to.
That day, Esther did many activities, though she stayed inside the castle; it had started raining yet again, only a few minutes after Esther set foot outside. She embroidered, played chess with Adelaide, read, wrote, read some more, and felt a sense of dread in the back of her mind for the approaching dinner, slowly increasing as the day went on. Esther wasn’t particularly fond of fancy dinners, mainly her only real job was to sit around and look pretty, which wasn’t a very entertaining thing to do. She wanted to contribute to political discussions (she had some pretty good ideas if you asked her), but was silenced every time.
Esther wasn’t focused on the conversation at all, and it took all her effort not to fall asleep midway through. She distracted herself by staring at the beautiful stained glass windows of the dining hall or the expertly carved stone pillars holding up the very high roof. There were so many intricate little details that Esther had never noticed, because she had never looked hard enough.
“... and Esther, how has the royal life been treating you?”
Esther jumped. “Oh, it’s been really nice.” She lied, “I quite enjoy the frankly lavish living style.” At least that part was true.
Everyone at the table chuckled. “Yes, it is very enjoyable, having this much money and status.”
Esther smiled and nodded. And such was the end of her contribution to the conversation, because no one spoke to her after that point. She didn’t mind not talking, but it was terribly boring to sit quietly for hours on end. At some points she actually listened, but only when they talked about something interesting, which they had an aggravating habit of not doing.
“Well, this has been a most enjoyable supper, but unfortunately I must be on my way.”
Esther breathed a sigh of relief. This relief didn’t last too long, because it took the king what felt like hours (but was probably about five minutes) to say goodbye to everyone, before he finally left.
“That was terrible.” Esther sighed, sinking into a chair by the fire. “They talked for so long.”
“That’s unfortunate.”
“I just wish I didn’t have to do this. I know I’m lucky to live this life and I chose this for myself and all that, but I can’t help hating it.”
“Is there anything I could do to help?” Adelaide asked, sitting beside Esther.
“You’re already doing a lot, don’t worry. You’re the only thing keeping me from simply running away to start anew.”
“Alright then. But ask if you need anything.”
The two of them settled into a comfortable silence, the kind that spoke without using words, expressing happiness silently. Esther read, then embroidered, then read some more.
Eventually, after it was too late to think, the two of them settled into bed, with Adelaide returning to her own bedroom and Esther putting away her clothes properly this time.
“Goodnight, Adelaide.”
“Night.”