Saving Santa

When Nice Doesn’t Cut It

Amanda O’Neill was on the Naughty List.

She didn’t particularly hold it against Santa. After all, it was practically an O’Neill family tradition to not be on the Nice List, with Grand-Aunt Georgina famously getting disowned for being a good enough Samaritan to move from one list to the other, as the family legend went. Amanda herself had a foul mouth, despised authority figures, was a prolific thief, cheated at cards and at school, and wore her shoes in bed. Of course she was on the naughty list. If Amanda resented Santa for anything, it was for the fact that the Fat Man didn’t have big enough jingle bells to actually try and give Amanda coal in her stocking. He probably figured Amanda would rob his sleigh blind if given the opportunity.

He figured correctly.

At the end of the day, though, she knew her standing when it came to such things and really didn’t care what Santa thought about her. She had her friends and didn’t need to rely on the moral judgment of some jolly old elf for anything. Besides, the gifts that she gave and that she got from people who she actually knew cared for her meant a lot more than presents from some entity that gave gifts to all the so-called good children of the world.

All that said, Amanda wasn’t so heartless that she wanted everyone else to feel the same way that she did. Akko, for example, seemed to have a personal affinity towards the holiday and Santa, particularly since this was Akko’s first Christmas with Diana as her girlfriend. Which, honestly, all power to her. Watching those two dorks dance around their feelings towards each other leading up to and immediately following the Missile Crisis had been almost painful to watch, to the point where Amanda had genuinely considered locking the two of them into a closet until they figured it out… and yes, the using a closet was absolutely an appropriate choice for those two. Amanda actually felt more for Diana than Akko. Akko was far more obsessed with Chariot (heyo! wasn’t that a surprise!) and with the Shiny Rod and with being a better witch that she was oblivious towards Diana’s (admittedly) awkward advances which smacked of total inexperience.

Hm. Maybe Amanda should have offered her services for a price…

That all was a story for a different time, though.

This story was about how even the naughty could save Christmas.

It all began early Christmas Eve morning when someone started pounding on the door to the Green Team dorm in a frantic knock. Amanda had been taking the opportunity to sleep in and was still in bed, only to wince as the knocking started. It almost sounded like someone was trying to break the door down, and Amanda groaned as she swung her legs out over the side of her bunk. “Hold your horses!” she hollered as she got up and began stumbling towards the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she moved. Given the exuberance of the knocking, she wasn’t really surprised to see Akko on the other side of the door once Amanda opened it up. Akko really didn’t know how to knock any other way than with an excited hammering. No, the surprise was that Diana was standing at her shoulder, and they both had worried expressions on their faces. “Uh… hey, Akko. Didi. What’s going on?”

Whatever it was had to be really bad because Diana didn’t get that sour look on her face whenever Amanda called her ‘Didi.’ Diana well and truly hated that nickname, which was precisely why Amanda used it. There weren’t many areas in which Amanda could reliably knock Diana down a peg or two, and the nickname was one of them. “There’s an emergency,” Diana said, her voice grim, and both she and Akko ignored Amanda’s protests as they entered the dorm room. Couldn’t even wait for Amanda to invite them in! 

“Well, that’s delightfully vague,” Amanda grumbled. “And make yourselves at home, why don’t you?” Despite the sarcastic bite to the last, Akko still all but threw herself down onto Amanda’s messy bed. Just… ugh, why was Akko like this?

“Santa’s been kidnapped!” Akko said even before the mattress stopped bouncing.

Oh. Well. Of all the things that Amanda expected Akko to say, that certainly wasn’t one of them. She blinked as she tried to process that. Blinked again. “Alright. Um. Was it Jack Skellington again?”

Diana gave her a befuddled look. “Who? Wait, has Saint Nick been kidnapped before?”

Oh, Hekate preserve her. “No, Diana, that… no, that’s from a movie. I know I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t know that, but… wait, no, hold on. Santa Claus has been kidnapped? Really?”

Diana and Akko both nodded. “It’s all over the news,” Diana said.

“Yeah! The news doesn’t know who did it, but we do!” Akko added, a determined fire in her eyes.

Amanda stared at her for a moment. Once it was clear that Akko wasn’t going to continue, she sighed. “Okay. Who did it and how do you know?”

“Oh, um… we know because Santa’s elves told the Sámi and their reindeer, who in turn told Niels the Yeti who I worked with when I was unlocking Mayinab Dyssivyrdd, and he in turn let Lotte and her family know, so she messaged me on my crystal ball. It was Felon Muskrat!”

Amanda frowned and shook her head incredulously. “Wait, like… the weaselly billionaire?”

“The very same,” Diana said in a grave voice. “I’m presuming that he’s doing it so that the world is forced to use his drones and communications network to get Christmas presents out.”

Amanda stared at them both for a moment. “Is this a bit?” she asked. “Like… kudos to you, Akko, you finally got Diana relaxed enough to have a sense of humor and joke around like this, but come on. Seriously?”

Diana frowned defensively. “I have a sense of humor,” she mumbled, and if Amanda didn’t know any better, she’d say that Diana was actually pouting.

“Amanda, we aren’t kidding around!” Akko protested, and she seemed so very earnest. “Santa was kidnapped, and a lot of people are going to be really disappointed if he’s not saved.” She stared pleadingly into Amanda’s eyes. “A lot of kids, Amanda.”

Amanda hated it when Akko did the whole puppy-dog eyes thing. She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Akko. Seriously. You’re telling me that Felon Muskrat, the tech oriented billionaire who is on track to becoming the world’s first trillionaire, kidnapped Santa Claus of all people in order to, what, hold the toys of all the boys and girls in the world ransom? Akko, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” She grabbed her crystal ball from her nightstand. “If you’re going to do a bit, then at least make it believable!” 

She activated her crystal ball, and even before she opened anything on it, she started getting bombarded with all the push notifications from social media and news sites and more, and every last one of them were about the mystery of the missing Santa Claus. She honestly had no idea what her expression was in that moment, but it must have been one of sheer rage, because boy howdy that was how she felt! It was just so, so stupid! What sort of cartoonish villainy bullcrap was this? 

She stared down at her crystal ball for a long moment as she strongly considered hucking it out the window. Then she took in a strained breath before looking back up to Diana and Akko, who were both looking at her expectantly for some reason. She didn’t want to know and so didn’t think about it at all. “I fail to see how any of this is my problem,” she said in a dark voice. “I’m not exactly on the best of terms with the Fat Man.”

Akko frowned. “Amanda, that’s rude.”

“Yeah, well, not even having the good graces to give me anything, not even coal to really drive home that I’m on the Naughty List is rude. He got himself into this predicament, he can get himself out of it.”

Diana and Akko shared a look that Amanda really didn’t like. “Actually, Amanda… we came to tell you not just to share the news, but to make a request of you,” Diana said.

Amanda’s eyes narrowed. “No. Nuh-uh. I don’t want to hear it!”

Akko pouted. “Amanda, please, there’s no one else!”

“Don’t you freaking dare, I don’t even want to hear you say it out loud, la-la-la I’m not listening!”

“Amanda, we need your help to save Christmas,” Diana and Akko said in unison.

“Oh, what the crap!”

Thirty minutes later found them all in Constanze’s workshop. Amanda was dressed now and was furiously scowling and staring at nothing as Diana and Akko explained the situation to Constanze and Jasminka, who had been working on something or other down in the expansive labs. Of course they both had bigger hearts than Amanda did, so of course they were looking all mopey and sad and determined to help all at the same time. It really ticked Amanda off, honestly. Like, cool, Santa handed out billions of presents each year, Consey and Jasna included, and sure he was a powerful magical entity, but that didn’t mean that her friends needed to pretty much agree at the drop of a hat to go on this mission. The way that Diana was explaining it was that they all brought certain skills to the table that could be useful. Jasna was super strong and Consey provided tech support that rivalled that of some nations… which could be useful overriding electronic locks and shorting out security systems. It all made perfect sense, which just made Amanda even angrier.

“Don’t know why you need me to go along,” she spat in a rather ‘bah, humbug!’ fashion, but that was just about where she was emotionally at the moment. “Sounds like you all have things in hand.”

Diana wearily sighed. “We need you because you’re the best thief at Luna Nova.” She gave Amanda a flat look. “Possibly the best thief on the continent at the moment.”

Amanda sneered at her. “Don’t try to butter me up, Didi. It ain’t gonna work.”

Diana’s lips pursed as her eyes flashed with ire at the nickname and the belligerent tone. “Fine, then. If you don’t accept flattery, then I’ll pay you.”

Amanda snorted as derision surged and crackled through her. “Why would you go and do a fool thing like that?”

“Because this is important to Akko, and I’ll do anything for her happiness.” Diana’s face was utterly grave and she held Amanda’s gaze. “Name your price.” Holy crap, she was being serious. Still…

“Didi, I know for a fact that your family doesn’t have enough money to afford my rates.”

Diana was now scowling just as hard as Amanda was. “I told you to name your price. If you don’t want to, I’ll do it for you: a favor.”

That actually drew Amanda up short. She knew enough about things to know that it wasn’t a party favor that Diana was talking about. She still wanted to make sure, though. “Elaborate.”

Diana gave a scoffing sigh and shook her head. She was obviously wasn’t happy with the direction that things were going. “You get a favor that you may call in at any point in the future. You may ask for anything that I have the ability to grant.”

All the others were silent, now, and were watching the two of them. “Anything encompasses a lot, Diana,” Amanda said. Using Diana’s nickname right now didn’t feel right. “That’s the sort of thing that has toppled nations and laid powerful families down low. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Diana’s gaze returned to Amanda. “No. I’m actually fairly certain that it’s a terrible idea. However, we’re talking about saving Christmas. That’s something that transcends nations. This is quite literally for the good of billions of children. Secondly… call me a fool for saying it, but I trust you not to ask for anything that would destroy my family or my legacy. You’re a troublemaker, not evil.”

Amanda sucked air between her teeth. “Again, this is all just… seriously, save Christmas? Like, I can’t be the only one to realize how stupid this all is!”

“Well, I mean… you and I tried to steal the Holy Grail from a boys’ academy,” Akko pointed out. “I’ve been eaten by an ancient ghost. We all fought a missile made out of literal hate. Heck, I even used umeboshi to temporarily subdue Jasna’s hunger demon.” At the last, she gave Jasminka an apologetic wince. “Sorry again about that entire thing.”

Jasminka waved that off, her smile still on her face. “Don’t worry about it, Akko. And Amanda? We should do this because it’s the right thing to do.”

Well… crap. There really was no arguing with that. Amanda kicked at nothing on the floor. “Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. Diana, I accept those terms… at the exact same time that I want to make it abundantly clear that I think all of this is freaking ridiculous. This is something that you’d see in a cartoon holiday special or a Disney Christmas movie!”

“Noted,” Diana said with a small nod. “Now, I’m fairly certain that we can divine Santa’s location,” she continued with a perfectly straight face, which blew Amanda’s mind. How any of them could be saying any of this like it was completely logical and not insane she would never understand. “Felon Muskrat is known for his dismissal and derision of magic. Even if he’s keeping Santa in a shielded chamber, he almost certainly didn’t block Santa’s location in transit.”

Amanda shook her head and hands. “Nope. I don’t care about any of that. You two nerds can figure all that junk out. I don’t care where we’re going. You just get me there and I’ll do my thing, alright?”

Diana gazed at her for a moment before she nodded. “Fine. We can do all that. Will you at least help Constanze and Jasminka prepare?”

Amanda gave Diana a dirty look. What kind of question was that? “Of course I’m going to help! Just because I think all of this is asinine doesn’t mean that I won’t help them.”

“Good. Akko?” With that, the two of them headed to a spare room of the lab to start doing the divination ritual. Amanda watched the two of them go and kinda sorta wished that Hannah was there instead of home for the holidays up in Carlisle, England. She’d probably think that this was all ridiculous as well. Then she dismissed the thought and turned to help Jasna and Consey get ready.

As it just so happened, that turned out to be helping Consey do some finishing touches on… oh, Amanda was so, so disappointed about it all when she saw it… on a flying sleigh. When she turned an almost betrayed expression on Consey, Consey shrugged. “Mistress liked the aesthetics and loves Christmas. There was also the challenge in trying to figure out how to do it better than Weihnachtsmann,” Stanbot announced. 

Amanda frowned. “Who?”

“Santa Claus would be the American name.”

“Oh.”

Constanze was giving her a flat look that practically dared her to make a big deal of it, and Amanda held up soothing hands. Then she was being put to work loading provisions onto the sleigh. By the time that Diana and Akko reappeared (looking a little bit flushed in a way that made Amanda think that they hadn’t just been doing divination in the secluded room… some harried kisses wouldn’t have taken all that long) they were pretty much ready to go. “We know where he is,” Diana called out. She was focusing mostly on Amanda, which was kind of annoying. Why was she looking at Amanda like–? “He’s in rural Texas.”

Oh. Great. Amanda’s home state. That’s exactly where she wanted to go. “Alright,” she muttered. It also made sense, being where Felon Muskrat had his headquarters. Still made her really angry, though. “How are we getting there?”

“Leyline across the Atlantic and then the sleigh the rest of the way in,” Akko said with a determined nod. “They’re six hours behind us so it’s still night there.”

Well, that was something, at least. “Good. I’d rather be doing this under the cover of darkness,” Amanda said. “We should get going as soon as possible, though. If we want him to have enough time to give out gifts, we need to rescue him sooner rather than later.”

Akko gasped. “Oh my gosh, Amanda, are you beginning to care?”

The excitement in her eyes made Amanda want to say something mean. This was Akko, though, and while this was all still so very stupid, she wasn’t cruel. So instead she stuck her tongue out at Akko. “No, nerd, I just know that if we mess this up you’ll be moping around for ages afterwards. I don’t care about Santa. I do care about you.”

Akko’s expression turned owlish before she grinned. “I’ll take that!” she chirped before she leapt up onto the sleigh. “Come on, Diana! It’s so cool in here!” Those words had Constanze shyly grinning, and Amanda huffed to herself. Trust Akko to say something like that with utter sincerity. They all boarded, with Constanze taking the driver’s seat… pilot’s seat? Amanda wasn’t entirely certain of the proper terminology. All she knew was that at Constanze’s seat were all the control panels for whatever bells and whistles Constanze crammed into this thing. Given that she had made a bona-fide mecha, Amanda didn’t think Constanze could surprise her with much of anything. She still grabbed onto the back of the seat in front of her as a burst of energy thrummed through the sleigh as power systems began spooling up. Wind whooshed out from its undercarriage as glowing golden runes lit up along its richly colored red body. Seemed a bit more traditional than the mechanically minded Constanze usually went for, Amanda thought to herself… just before multiple rocket engines of various sizes popped out of nowhere.

Ah.

There it was.

They began firing off with stuttering roars, and Constanze put her goggles on over her eyes before one hand applied the magical air brake while the other opened the throttle wide. The roar of the rocket engines immediately kicked up, growing almost deafening. Diana’s alarm as she opened up the leyline portal would have been amusing if Amanda didn’t feel the very same alarm coursing through her own veins. “Cons?” she shouted out over the roar of the engines, but a glance at Constanze revealed a grin that would have been perfectly at place at the most high octane moment in any Mad Max movie. Oh. Oh, no.

Constanze slammed the brake lever forward, disengaging it, and they all cried out as they were slammed back into their seats with the sudden acceleration. They were hurled through the event horizon of the leyline portal with the roaring of the engines and the screaming of their voices. Now, they had all been through the leyline with varying levels of success and enjoyment for quite a while now, but nothing quite felt like the way that they were punching through the subspace on this trip. Swirling colors ripped and tore past them at a dizzying pace, and even Amanda with all her experience riding brooms in all sorts of conditions and doing stuff like broom dancing felt sick to her stomach with the way that they were blasting through the leyline. She swear she could feel her individual molecules being stretched to their very limit before they burst through the other side…

…where a cliff face loomed just in front of them. “Diana!” Amanda hollered at the top of her lungs. “Cliff!”

“I see it!” Diana bellowed back as she swung her wand around like it was a saber. “I can only do short jumps at a time!”

Amanda could actually see the fine details on the cliff when the next leyline portal blossomed just into front of them, swallowing them up in the instant before collision. “Consey, slow down!”

“Mistress cannot slow down now without extreme loss of control that will result in structural failure of the sleigh,” Stanbot announced.

“Structural fai– don’t tell me this sleigh is gonna Challenger us all over space and time!”

“That is an accurate summation of the forces at work, ja.”

“CONSTANZE!”

The next return to normal space-time was far less traumatic, with nothing but clear skies and a sun that was substantially closer to the eastern horizon greeting them. The next after that was worse, as they somehow ended up pointing straight down at rough seas. Someone screamed hysterically. It might have even been Amanda, because she felt herself lifting up out of her seat which would almost certainly be a death sentence at this speed. Through it all, Diana performed miracles, desperately casting the leyline spell over and over again. For this one, she only had time to cast it just under the crest of the surging waves, and they were all struck with sea spray and foam as they hit the portal in between the waves themselves. Water entered with them, turning into steam and ice in equal measure in the liminal space of the leyline. Their next jump was in a dense forest, and how Constanze managed to keep from plastering them all over a tree like this was Return of the Jedi, Amanda would never know.

Diana was apologizing like the words were a holy mantra over and over again in between the spells, and Amanda somehow managed to turn her head at some point to see the tears streaming down Diana’s pale cheeks as Akko hugged her with all her strength. Jasminka was holding onto Constaze. Amanda had no one. 

She was going to die alone. 

The realization was like a kick to the chest and she felt all air whoosh out of her in a rush. For a brief moment she panicked, and it was likely only the fact that she was practically born of the air and wind that she recovered as quickly as she did. Panicking while flying was a death sentence. She knew that and knew it well and so got control over herself with a wrench of her will. As trees whizzed past at breakneck speeds, she twisted her body and reached back with a cry of effort. She wasn’t the only one who was cool under pressure. Just as her fingertips brushed against the polished handle of her broom, Diana cried out the leyline spell one last time, and they were swallowed up once more. When they popped out on the other side, they were high up in the night sky, far away from any dangerous obstacles and high up enough that the air was cold and thin. “Constanze, slow us down!” Diana ordered in an imperious bellow, and Constanze finally, finally slowly eased back on the throttle. The sleigh shook and shuddered a bit, but there was no loss of control.

They all breathed a collective sigh of relief at that. Before anything else could be said, Standbot piped up in its tinny little voice: “Mistress Constanze wishes to apologize. She hadn’t expected it to be that fast.”

Amanda wanted to holler at Constanze, wanted to cuss her out for being so reckless. An apology wasn’t enough, dang it! But then she looked over at Constanze and saw the way that Constanze’s bottom lip was quivering and how her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. She had been just as terrified as any of them. Amanda let her rage go with a terse sigh, and looked out around them before looking down. She didn’t immediately see any groups of lights that made her think of a city. “Where are we?” she asked.

“Somewhere above Newfoundland,” Diana said in an exhausted voice. “We made it across the North Atlantic. Now we just need to head down the coast to the Gulf of Mexico and then Texas.”

Akko rubbed Diana’s upper arm with a worried expression. “Don’t push yourself, Dia,” she said in a soft voice. “We made really good time so far and we should still be going really fast. I think you can take a moment to catch your breath while we continue flying south.”

Diana nodded, and Amanda watched them for a moment before she huffed and looked away. She shouldn’t be getting jealous over the two of them like this. There was nothing saying that she couldn’t actually get off her butt and start asking around to see who might be interested in starting a little something. Her thoughts again returned to Hannah, and she sighed as she tugged her bottom lip and stared off into space. She was like ninety percent certain that Hannah and Barbara were either secretly dating or deeply in denial about their feelings towards each other. Sticking her nose into that whole situationship was only asking for trouble. Maybe she just needed to get used to the idea of being alone. “A’ight, so. We need to discuss what we’re doing while we’re there. Consey should stay with the sleigh and be our get away flier. If Stanbot can come with us for the tech support side of the house?”

Constanze gave a single nod. She looked relieved, though Amanda wasn’t certain if it was because she got to stay with her magical sleigh or if it was because Amanda wasn’t actively shouting at her. Whatever the reason, she didn’t look like she was seconds away from crying, which… Amanda was happy about that. She hated it when either Consey or Jasna cried. Speaking of Jasna…

“Way I figure, Jasna would probably be the best for recovering Santa’s sack of toys. That thing has to be heavy and she’s the strongest amongst us. She and I can focus on that while the two of you try to find Santa?” Amanda asked Akko and Diana. They both nodded. “Good. One of the things we packed were magical earpieces that Consey was working on. They’re basically radios so we can talk with each other while we’re down there. Stanbot? Stick with Didi and Koko. They’ll probably need you more than I will.”

“Yes, boss,” Stanbot said with a salute.

“Cool. No theatrics. No heroics. We get in, spring the Fat Man, steal back his sack, and get the heck out of there.”

After a moment, Diana’s head cocked to the side. “I’m a bit surprised that you’re taking this so seriously, Amanda. I thought that you said that all of this was stupid.”

Amanda snorted. “Oh, it is. I mean, come on. We’re rescuing freaking Santa Claus from an egomaniacal billionaire. All of this is so unimaginably stupid. Someone should kick Felon Muskrat in the balls for being so stupid. If the opportunity presents itself, I will do just that. Buuut this is also a job, and you don’t mess around when doing a job, especially not a job that has the potential for risk like this job does. Dude has more money than God, he can literally make us disappear if we get caught. We need to be careful, right? Especially since I bet he does have anti-magic countermeasures in place. He may hate magic, but I bet anything that he knows how much magic can help with breaking into a place and has taken steps to prevent just that from happening.”

Diana was frowning with concern. “Magic is all that I have, Amanda. I don’t know anything about mundane techniques for breaking and entering.”

Amanda grinned as she jabbed back at herself with her thumb. “That’s what you’ve got me for! Stanbot will help a ton, as well. It can pop most electronic locks and its fingers turn into lockpicks for the physical locks.”

“Your doing, I presume,” Diana said with a weary sigh. 

“You know it!” Amanda said with a laugh.

“You’re incorrigible,” Diana said as she shook her head and that actually kind of hurt a little.

Amanda’s grin slid away. “I may be incorrigible, but we wouldn’t be able to be doing any of this without me. So maybe you could show a little gratitude when it comes to my skills and talents?”

Diana blinked before she dipped her head in an acknowledgment of Amanda’s words. “You’re right. My apologies. And again, thank you for agreeing to do this.”

Amanda huffed and she leaned back in her seat. “If you have the strength to be all hoity-toity like that, then you have the strength to get us on our way. We should get down there ASAP… we really don’t want to be caught in the daylight on a job like that.”

Diana grimaced and gave Akko an exasperated look, which was answered by a small shrug and apologetic wince from Akko, and Amanda was so very glad that neither of them tried to start anything further with her, cuz she really wasn’t in the mood for it, not after the insanity of their initial leyline jumps and then whatever all that conversation was, not to mention the complete preposterousness of the situation at large.

Amanda was on the Naughty List, and sure she really liked her friends and would do a lot for them, but rescuing the same Santa Claus who had never gotten her a single blessed thing her entire life was definitely pushing certain limits that nipped at her. Like… really? He couldn’t even get her presents when she was a baby and a toddler? She hadn’t even been that bad as a toddler! She couldn’t even remember actually choosing to be naughty until she was closer to Middle School than Kindergarten! So why couldn’t he have gotten her anything when she was too young to actually be naughty?

Yeah, no, there was no love lost between her and Kris Kringle. It was only because Akko asked her to act that she was doing this. Santa Claus could spend the rest of eternity rotting in a cell for all she cared.

Those thoughts were driven off as Diana opened up another portal, and their journey south continued.

Thankfully the rest of the trip passed by without further incident. Stanbot reported that there were fairly powerful obfuscation and stealth enchantments woven into the sleigh, so they shouldn’t be detected by radar or any other devices and even if someone was looking up into the night sky at just the right spot at just the right moment, their eyes would slide off of the sleigh and they would have a brain fart moment and forget that they maybe sorta saw something up in the sky. There were limits, of course… if they landed in the middle of a busy intersection in a city they’d be busted because that was just too many people to try and make ignore them. Onesies and twosies, though, that the obfuscation spell could handle.

It also helped that Diana kept the vast majority of the trip within the Leyline itself, something made easier by the fact that they weren’t hurling towards their imminent demise at breakneck speeds so that she could concentrate on making longer and safer jumps.

So.

Yippee.

Soon enough (and far sooner than even the fastest jet could have hoped to make the journey) they were flying over rural Texas where there was a patchwork of small towns and villages spread out over the dark face of the earth below. Amanda didn’t need the light of the sun to know exactly what it looked like down there: dusty brown soil and tough green vegetation. She didn’t need to see it because she could smell it in the velvety night air that was so much warmer than it was in England. At least it wasn’t raining.

God, she hated it here…

As they approached the secluded facility, Akko clapped her hands. “Alright, so! I think it would be a good idea to dress appropriately for the occasion,” she said as she pulled out her wand. Amanda immediately had a bad feeling, probably caused by the excited gleam in Akko’s eyes that wasn’t caused by the glow from the sleigh’s instrument panel or the moonlight. Before Amanda could say anything, though, Akko swished her wand. “Metamorphie vestesse!”

With that, Akko, Diana, Jasminka, and Amanda all briefly disappeared with poofs of smoke. When the wind carried the smoke away and they could see again, Amanda’s stomach dropped. “Akko, what the… y’know what? Just… no. Bad Akko! Naughty!”

Akko pouted. “What? It fits!”

The four of them were now dressed in the stereotypical ‘Santa’s elf’ clothing: tights, form fitting tunics, pointed hats, and curled toed soft soled boots. They all also had pointed ears and more slender features, giving them even more of an elfin appearance. The only two things that Amanda gave Akko any credit for were that while the clothes were green and red, they were more muted and darker shades instead of the bright and festive colors more usually associated with Santa’s little helpers. The subdued coloring and the belts with several pouches carrying the tools she’d need down below… well, it wasn’t terrible.

At least Diana didn’t look too enthusiastic about it all. “Akko, darling, if you could have at least discussed what you were planning before going ahead and doing it, it might have been better received.”

“Oh, please?” Akko begged as she clasped her hands in front of her. “We look different, now, and with these outfits we can say we’re from the North Pole if we get caught! That way Finnelan can’t yell at me for dishonoring Luna Nova… again.”

That drew Amanda up short, though the rage that she felt at just how much sense that all made couldn’t be understated. She hated that it made perfect sense. They did look like the tactical arm of the North Pole Organization or whatever. She growled some very choice things under her breath before she decided to give it a rest. Making a big deal about it would only waste precious time. “Fine. Whatever. Do we know precisely where he’s being kept?”

Diana shook her head as she peered out over the edge of the sleigh at the fenced in facility down below. “No. The trail merely led here. We’ll have to find out all that once we’re inside.”

Amanda looked over the edge of the sleigh as well. Hm, it wasn’t even just one fence on the perimeter, it was double layered, the inner fence higher than the first. Both were topped with razor wire and there was only one entrance that had a manned guard post and gate. She’d bet anything that there were motion sensors in between the fences, not to mention sensors on the fences themselves that could detect any shaking. Probably extensive coverage of the grounds with security cameras, likely both thermal and not. It must have taken a lot of money setting this place up. Luckily for them, there was a helipad on the roof of the main building. That meant there was a rooftop entrance.

“Hey, Consey, did you pack your sparrow drones? The ones that can splice into things?”

Consey nodded and set the sleigh into hover mode before she dug around in her knapsack. A moment later, she pulled out a hardened black case. She opened it up, revealing a control unit and four small drones shaped like small birds. She looked up at Amanda and gave a thumbs up.

Amanda grinned. “You are awesome. Alright, can you use one of those to splice into the camera watching the roof access door? If you can loop the footage, that’s our in,” she said. Consey nodded again and turned on the control unit. As it booted up, she plucked one of the drones from its slot in the foam padding of the container and held it on her palm. While that was happening, Amanda reached back and started grabbing their brooms as Diana worked on getting their earpieces ready. By the time the drone came online and beat its wings in the air, the four of them were ready to go. The drone flitted out and then down, quickly disappearing from view. “Alright, let’s have our primary pick up point be here on the roof. If that doesn’t work… well, it’ll probably be out one of the doors. We’ll let you know which one if things go pear shaped.”

 Constanze nodded without looking away from the drone’s control unit as she guided it down to the latticed pole that had all the cameras on it., nor did she protest when Amanda took the remaining three drones from their slots to tuck them into her largest pouch. They’d probably need them inside. She took several deep breaths as Stanbot climbed up onto Akko’s back, latching on tight. Then one of the status lights went from amber to green, and Constanze made a ‘go, go, go!’ motion with her hand. The four of them leapt off of the sleigh and began freefalling down, their brooms held in one hand as they let gravity do most of the work. Amanda was the first to cast the flying spell and the others quickly followed suit before forming up behind her. They flew almost straight down, shadows in the night, and Amanda pulled up on her broom at almost the last moment to land on her feet right in front of the roof access door. Much to her relief, it wasn’t an electronic lock requiring a card to scan in or a combination to punch in on keys. She’d be able to get past those, but it would take longer and she didn’t know how long the looped security footage would last before a system purge or something. No, it was a standard lock, probably used up here because electronic locks were more expensive and these people still thought like Mundanes: a helicopter could be heard coming. Four witches on brooms couldn’t. 

As the others landed close behind her, she wet her lips and pulled out her lock picking kit. Alright, standard deadbolt lock. Those weren’t so bad. She inserted the torsion wrench and applied gentle pressure before going in with the rake pick. She couldn’t help but hold her breath as she worked the lock, and it all released in a whoosh as the lock disengaged and turned with a click. Akko gave a soft whoop from behind her and reached for the door handle. “Stop!” Amanda hissed. Akko’s hand froze, and Amanda blew out a tense breath. “Akko, this is an exterior door that’s not supposed to be open right now. I bet you anything it’s alarmed.” She put away her lockpick kit before pulling out a bookmark sized sheet magnet that had a very rudimentary circuit and indicator light built into it. Amanda swallowed as she carefully opened the door just barely far enough to insert the magnet strip between the door and doorframe. She slid the magnet towards the hinges and stopped once the indicator light flickered on. There it was. She held the magnet in place. “Okay, go.”

Akko nodded and quietly opened the door and then entered the stairwell with Diana and Jasminka following just behind her. Amanda did the same, with the only difference being that she kept the magnet held firmly against the alarm bar. Closing the door took a bit of maneuvering, but they managed and it was only after it was quietly but firmly shut that Amanda pulled the magnet away. “Wow,” Akko whispered. “I wouldn’t have even thought about an alarm being there.”

Amanda nodded as she put the magnetic strip away. “That’s why I’m here. Now, I bet that they have him and the sack in a basement level away from where any possible visitors to the facility could accidentally stumble upon him.”

“That makes sense,” Diana quietly replied.

“Mistress Constanze wishes to report that her first drone was able to deliver malware into their security system. All cameras are currently looping one minute increments,” Stanbot said.

Amanda froze as that registered, and then she was up and moving as quickly and quietly as possible down the stairs. “C’mon!” she hissed. “A mass loop like that is easy to spot, we need to move!” Thank Hekate that the others didn’t hesitate to follow after her, and Amanda had to grudgingly admit that the soft soled boots were actually doing a really good job at not making much noise. Then she put that thought out of mind as they continued down in the rectangular spiral. There had been guards at the gate and given that Santa Claus (god it still sounded so stupid!) was here, there had to be a ton of guards in the building as well. Speed was as much their ally as stealth, and the longer they took, the greater the chance of the loop getting noticed there was. A competent guard actually paying attention to any security monitors would catch it on the first loops as whatever people were visible in the cameras either disappeared or looped back to where they were at the beginning of the minute.

She prayed for incompetent guards.

Much to her immense relief, they reached the ground floor landing where one door with its small and rectangular window looked out onto a bright lit corridor. Another door without a label and with a keypad was set right where stairs continuing to go down would be. Okay. Right. “Stanbot, you’re up.”

Stanbot moved over to the door, and its legs extended so that its head and torso was near the keypad. It then stared at the keypad while Jasminka moved to guard the door leading to the hallway. Akko fidgeted and looked from Stanbot to Amanda and then back. “Why isn’t it doing anything?” she asked… just before one of the doors to another floor above them could be heard opening, followed by the sound of booted feet on the stairs. They all stared at each other with wide eyes before they moved to press against the wall that kept them as much out of sight as possible from anywhere on the stairs above them. They could hear that the feet weren’t moving in a rush so it was likely that it was just someone going about their normal business and not someone who was onto them… but they were just as cooked if whoever it was spotted them, one way or another.

Still Stanbot didn’t move. The footsteps were definitely getting louder, and Jasminka gave Amanda an apologetic wince before she mimed punching her palm. Amanda’s teeth gritted together, but she nodded. If they got spotted, knocking the person out was likely their only–

Stanbot suddenly lifted its arm and typed in an eight digit code. The door’s lock disengaged with a clunk that sounded deafening but probably wasn’t… but it didn’t need to be deafening, it just needed to be loud enough to be heard in the silence broken only by the approaching footsteps. Much to their horror, the footsteps paused. Crap! Amanda motioned desperately at the door. “Go, go, go!” she silently mouthed. Diana was first to react, stepping forward and turning the handle slowly and quietly before opening the door. Sure enough, there were more stairs going down. Akko was first through, and she scooped up Stanbot as she went. Jasminka followed, then Amanda, and finally Diana, who kept the handle turned on the inner side of the door and closed the door as quietly as she could. She gradually released the handle, and they all hurried onward, desperate to put distance between them and the door. These stairs were much more dimly lit, and they were down a floor and a half before they stopped on the landing. “What did you do?” Amanda whispered to Stanbot.

“I reset the lock using electromagnetic communication waves and then set a new passcode. Until their administrator comes in and does the same thing, I am the only one who can open that door.”

Amanda stared at Stanbot before she grinned. “I could kiss you!”

“Please don’t.”

She ignored that and turned to the others. “Alright, either security is going to be much tighter down here or it's going to be much lighter.” She walked up to the stair railing and peered down. “The next floor down is the last, so it’s just these two floors. I think we should split up here, you two and Stanbot take the upper basement floor and Jasna and I can take the lower.”

The others nodded, and they split up. While Amanda was still feeling pretty cautious, she was feeling a bit more optimistic. She would have much preferred full schematics of the building, but her gut was telling her that Felon Muskrat was an egotistical jerk who cut corners wherever he could. Given that her gut was very rarely wrong (the Shooting Star was her own darn fault and was very much the exception to the rule) she felt a bit more free to move around. This area… was top secret. The place the Felon Muskrat brought the things that needed to disappear and as such didn’t want too many cameras recording things he didn’t want getting out. There were probably only a few ways down here… she’d bet money that it was the one stairwell and a single elevator, probably one that could handle freight. Both those access points were supposedly secure with keycode access. All the guards and security measures above meant that he didn’t have to put money into the security down here, especially considering that whatever security company that did the installation would probably need continued access for security updates and if sensitive things (like Santa) were down here, well…

Her suspicions were confirmed when she and Jasminka stepped out into the hallway to find it dimly lit and without a single security camera in sight. They both stood there, silent and still and listening. Other than the sound of the soft sigh of the ventilation system and the quiet whirring of the lights and wiring, it was quiet. “Let’s go,” Amanda murmured, and they headed off. If she had to guess and the sack or Santa was down here, they would be away from the stairs. The sack because it probably came down here on the elevator and Santa because keeping him away from the stairs and possible escape seemed like the thing to do.

Her earpiece crackled. “There are guards on our floor. One of them made mention of milk and cookies,” Diana quietly reported. “Akko assures me that it was cruelly sarcastic. We’ve confirmed that casting spells doesn’t work here. The guards seemed bored and didn’t notice as they walked by the room we’re hiding in on patrol.”

“Gotcha,” Amanda replied. “We haven’t spotted anyone.”

“Alright. Good luck.”

“You, too,” Amanda replied. She nodded to Jasminka and they hurried onward. Oh, hey! A sign for the elevator!

“Thank you,” Jasminka said.

Amanda hadn’t been expecting that and so she gave Jasminka a curious look. “What for?”

“For doing this. I know you think this situation is ridiculous and you really don’t like Santa, but you still agreed to come and do this and you’re treating it very seriously.”

Amanda sighed. “Of course I am. It’s a job. I take all jobs seriously. Besides, not doing this would make you and Consey and Akko sad. I may hate Santa, but I love you guys, so…” She blinked as she registered what she had just spotted out of the corner of her eye through the narrow window in the door they just passed by. She backed up and took another look at the massive red sack that was on a shelving unit in a room packed with many artifacts and objects, some of which Amanda recognized and all of which Felon Muskrat had no right to have. Her fingers itched. Oh, the fortune she could get by pawning off even a hundredth of these things!

Then she noticed the look that Jasna was giving her, and shame welled up in her heart. She sighed and looked down at the electronic lock. “Kinda wish that we had Stanbot, buuut…” she said before she pulled out one of the sparrow drones and turned it on. “Have a job for you, Consey…”

Less than five minutes later, the door was open and the sack was secured, Jasna’s face set with determination as she walked along the hall with the sack on her back. “I can manage,” she was saying to Amanda. “I’ll wait for you and the others in the stairwell.”

Amanda nodded, and once they got to the stairwell, Amanda got off at the next floor up while Jasna headed up to the locked door leading to the ground floor. “Diana, where are you guys at?” Amanda whispered into her throat mic as she crept out into the corridor. “I just left the stairs on your floor.”

“We’ve found him but need your help,” Diana quietly replied. “His cell requires two locks to be opened at the same time and Stanbot can’t get them both.”

“Okay. Guide me in.”

That took a minute because Amanda had to dodge patrols on the way in, but it was as Diana alluded to with her earlier report: they felt secure down here and weren’t paying much attention. It was almost embarrassingly easy to sneak past them. But then, the very best capers were just like this: complacency allowed people to get into areas that were thought to be secure and given that it wasn’t even three in the morning local time, the guards were likely slightly fatigued and bored and ready to go home.

What she wasn’t expecting when she entered the rooms that Diana and Akko were waiting for her in was the sight of two unconscious guards lying on the floor, bound and gagged. “Uh…” she said as she quietly closed the door behind her.

“Did you know that Stanbot has very powerful tasers in both of its hands and that its arms can extend with startling swiftness?” Diana asked in a conversational tone. 

“I do now,” Amanda replied as she walked toward the door set in the far wall. Her skin crawled at the anti-magic runes that were carved into the concrete of the wall. They were pulsing with a soft blue glow and were probably what was keeping Santa contained. Set in opposite corners were the two electric locks, and sure enough, they both had to be activated at the same time in order for the door to open. She had honestly been lucky that the sack hadn’t been locked in the same–

The door behind them opened up, and they all whirled towards it to see a guard giving them dumbfounded looks. “Uh…” he said, unknowingly copying Amanda from only moments ago.

Well, this wasn’t good. Amanda straightened up and placed her fists on her waist. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in?” she asked.

The man gave her an incredulous look. “I’m in trouble? What about you?”

Amanda tsked and waggled a finger at him. “Nope. See, we’re part of the North Pole Security Division and we’re here for the Big Man. You can either come on in and sit nice and quiet against that wall over there, or else.”

He snorted. “Or else what?”

“Or else my associate will have a discussion with you.”

“Oh, your associate that isn’t here?” he scoffed as his hand dropped to the gun on his belt. Ah. Right. Texas. “What’s his name, Buddy the Elf?”

“No. Snowball. Snowball the Security Polar Bear. You ever see a polar bear eat a seal, Mister Guard? You know that polar bears are the only predator that sees humans as prey? You want a polar bear to eat your face off? Cuz that’s what’s gonna happen if we don’t make our check in…” she made a show of checking her wrist like there was a watch there, specifically because he watched that and not how her other hand slipped another sparrow drone from her pouch. Her finger pressed the power button. “...in thirty-five seconds. Lissen, buster, I’m tired, you’re tired, this state is too damn hot, your boss is an idiot, and–” and he had a wedding band on and the keys clipped to his belt had homemade art from a child on it “-if you want your kid to actually have a merry Christmas, you’ll let us get Big Nick ho-ho-home for the holidays.” The sparrow drone’s wings quietly whirred to life.

None of that was supposed to convince this guy to let them go. That wasn’t going to happen. All it was meant to do was to buy enough time for the drone to pop online. He grimaced and shook his head. “I don’t believe any of that,” he said as he started to draw his gun. “Put your–”

The sparrow drone buzzed to sudden life and shot out from behind her back, cutting a sharp curve through the air to slam against his temple with the force of a hard punch. His eyes rolled back in his head as he collapsed.

“–hands up!” Amanda finished the lyrics with a grin. Seeing the confused and relieved and exasperated looks that she was getting from Akko and Diana, she sighed. “What, have you really never heard that song? Uncultured, I swear!” She hurried over and dragged the man into the room before closing and locking the door. She didn’t want a repeat of that, especially since she was down to her last drone and she needed it for the door. She and Stanbot didn’t waste anymore time, though, and they quickly hacked the door, disengaging the lock for Akko to open the door.

Amanda wasn’t certain what she was expecting. A jolly old elf? A small man whose belly jiggled like jelly with his laughs? Either of the Miracle on 34th Street Santas? There was an idea of what Santa was supposed to look like, but there was nothing that could have prepared any of them for the being that stepped through the door. The most frustrating part about all of it was that none of them would really remember with any clarity what it was like… Santa had his own obfuscation magic working for him. If Amanda was asked to point Santa out in a line up, she simply wouldn’t be able to do it. The only thing that she remembered… that any of them remembered weren’t the details, but the impressions.

He was vast. Vast as the arctic tundra. He did have a white beard, big and bushy, and… and Amanda wanted to say dark eyes, where Diana swore his eyes were blue. Those weren’t the details that mattered. What mattered were the emotions.

Deep, profound sadness, for Santa had seen countless wars come and go and had presided over Christmases that had occurred during unspeakable disasters and emergencies.

Immense, terrible knowledge, for Santa knew the measure of every person on Earth.

But also joy. Joy the likes of which Amanda had never witnessed. It radiated off of him like the warmth of the sun, so pure and powerful that she started crying.

And she hated him all the more for it because a being this powerful… why hadn’t he once given her a present? Was she truly so terrible a person that he wouldn’t even give her coal? Even as she felt her hate surge anew and she felt ashamed because she knew that he could feel it.

A voice unlike any that she had ever heard spoke: “I understand.” She looked up in shock to see his eyes crinkling on his face as he smiled down at her. “You have done well, Amanda Rose O’Neill. Thank you.”

The next thing she knew, she was on Constanze’s sleigh, drowsy and sleepy as they flew through space where time didn’t exist, all five of them bundled and snuggled together under a thick and warm blanket. She heard his booming voice calling out: “Ho, ho, ho, Merrrry Christmas!” and then the world faded again as peace and goodwill welled up in her heart.

Then her closed eyes squeezed more tightly shut and she groaned as she stirred in her bed.

Wait.

Her bed?

Her eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright. Jasna was snoring above her and Consey was curled up under her blanket across the room, and there was an envelope on her lap. She blinked several times before she picked it up and opened it. Inside was a letter.

Dear Amanda,

Words cannot express how much I regret never being able to deliver that which you deserved, but your family’s cruelty and wickedness runs deep and they made deals with entities even more powerful than I to secure their fortunes, and part of the price they paid extended to all of their line, both innocent and not. But your actions last night broke you away from the curse.

You are at times naughty and often mischievous, but that has never kept me from delivering presents. It is wickedness that invites the Wrath of Krampus and you have never been wicked. You are precisely who you are meant to be, and that is one of the most precious gifts in all the world.

Go in peace and goodwill. I cannot wait to visit you again next year.

Ever in your debt and most sincerely your servant, 

–Klaus

Amanda stared down at the letter and reread it three times, though it took a while given how her eyes kept watering. Dust must be getting in her eyes or something. After she read it for the fourth time, she put it back down in her lap and turned her head to wipe away her tears.

That was when she noticed the small mountain of presents. Confused, she slipped out of bed and padded over to them. There had to be more than a dozen… she frowned as she quickly counted them. Seventeen. Seventeen presents. For her?

She started with the smallest box, and when she unwrapped it, she only felt more confused. It was a small broom plushie that rattled when she shook it. This was a toy for a baby. There was also a note: Merry 1st Christmas to the world’s best high flier!

Wait.

What?

She grabbed the next box at random and tore it open. By its size and shape, she guessed book, but she wasn’t expecting to see the journal that she had desperately wanted when she was twelve. It was enchanted to only open for its owner. The longest gift was a high class broom that she had prayed for when… well, just last year. She was crying again as she opened gift after gift after gift, seventeen years of her life, seventeen years of lonely wishes from a girl scared of her family’s legacy and power, seventeen years where Santa had listened but hadn’t been able to give her the gifts that he had made for her.

He had listened. 

He had cared.

It didn’t matter that she was who she was.

She had still been loved and accepted.

Jasminka and Constanze heard her crying, of course, and came to her as she sat in the midst of torn wrapping paper and ribbons and all the gifts that she had been denied not because of who she was but because of what her family had done. Jasna and Consey hugged her there, ever her friends, ever the two who had accepted her first, ever the two who loved her fiercely as her friends.

Christmas Eve had been rough (and Amanda still thought that all of it was so, so stupid!) but Christmas Day? Why, this was the best Christmas she had ever had… and for the first time in a very long time, she couldn’t wait for the next one!