Chapter Text
“Ieiri Shoko, what are you giggling about. It’s 1am and you managed to finish off that whole bottle of wine on your own while smoking, and you’ve stolen my glasses too!” Gojo yawned as he stretched his arms behind his head. Shoko set her cigarette down on the table and gazed down at her phone.
“I really thought these glasses would change my life, but alas, I think they just gave me a headache.”
“I think that was the alcohol.”
“You’re a fucking lightweight who couldn’t even handle a single beer.”
Gojo rolled his eyes, Shoko unfortunately wasn’t wrong, but she usually never was. He stretched his arms behind his back as a smirk played on his lips.
“What do you think your patients would say if they saw the future head surgeon at Keio University Hospital drinking and smoking at the same time?” Gojo clucked, “Your liver and lungs shouldn’t be functioning at this point.”
“Oh fuck off, let a girl live.” She stuck up her middle finger at Gojo with her eyes still glued on her phone. Her fingers rapidly typed away at the screen. It was impressive how she wasn’t diagnosed with lung cancer yet. “This is the first day off I’ve gotten in a while, so you should be glad I’m spending it with a fatass like you.”
“Just because I have a sweet tooth doesn’t mean I’m some obese monstrosity.” Gojo lifted his shirt and flexed one arm, hoping to maybe get this drunk Shoko to give a small little reaction.
“You could still be internally obese, and I bet those six packs are painted on.”
“You’re just a jealous bitch that wishes she had these abs of STEEL. Just yesterday some teenager at the shop asked me for tips on how to be built like me.”
Shoko rolled her eyes as she laid down on the floor, her eyes still glued on the phone. It was a Friday, which sure wasn’t the best day for Gojo to be up late. He was just glad that he had the foresight to drop Megumi and Tsumiki off at Nanami's.
“You’ve been on your phone for a while, got a hot date?” Gojo waggled his eyebrows as he lowered his sunglasses, a smirk playing at his lips. With Shoko’s busy schedule, it was unlikely that she’d be able to manage to secure a date. She’d never take a day off just to find, “love”, no matter how many times he protested.
“Shut it shithead. Where’s your date? Last I heard you had to reject 5 women while working at the sweet shop.”
Gojo’s cheeks reddened as he sat up straight, his back rigid. Rejecting people wasn’t something he liked to do, but it was something he had to do. He couldn’t lead anyone on and give them a false sense of something more.
He ruined that.
“Anyways,” Shoko sighed, her eyes lighting up, “I might have gotten us tickets to a little something, to celebrate how well your shop’s doing.”
Gojo jumped up, brightly giggling as his voice took on a mocking tone. “O-oh s-senpai, you shouldn’t have!” He squealed, his arms moving across his body in a vague imitation of the floss.
Shoko sat up and slapped Gojo on the thigh. “You’re not an anime girl fatass, if you were in an anime you’d be some side character that dies the first day.”
Gojo stopped and looked at Shoko with his hand over his heart, his jaw dropped wide open. “My dancing skills are obviously superior to yours. At least I’d be in an anime, you’d just be some corporate drone drooling over boobs like a perv.”
“Fine, I guess I need to cancel these tickets and the Kikufuku I was gonna get you.” Shoko smiled as she swirled around the remaining wine in the bottle.
“You have a cold heart you bitch.” Gojo sat down on the floor next to Shoko, affectionately punching her shoulder. He glanced at the koi fish painting on Shoko’s walls and lapsed into a silence. It reminded him of his teenage years, back then…
He never should have taken it for granted.
“YES!” Shoko pumped her fist into the air as she downed her last glass of wine and lit up a new cigarette. In the five years Gojo has known Shoko, she’s never gone a day without smoking.
He was pretty sure she finished a pack a day.
“Did you win the lottery?”
“I wish, but the payment for the tickets went through! December 24th, that’s when we’ll be seeing Suguru Geto perform!” Shoko exclaimed. She was certain that Gojo would love this, he was always raving on and on about needing to go to a concert at least once in his life. What’s better than snatching tickets for one of the newest rising idols in Japan? Shoko turned to see Gojo’s face, and instead of the excitement she was expecting, she saw something else.
- | -
5 years ago
“Suguru what the hell.”
Commuters shuffled around them, no doubt wondering why two teenage boys were standing outside of a KFC instead of going into it. The flow of people wasn’t stopping, more and more people walking past them without a second glance.
Who cared what two boys were doing?
It couldn’t be anything serious.
It was just casual, right?
“Suguru, answer me.” Satoru’s voice cracked as he looked up from the ground. Suguru was only a few feet away but it felt like miles between them. They might as well have been planets apart. Ocean blue eyes met obsidian black eyes, tears shining.
Satoru took a step forward, his eyes softening as he looked at his best friend. His one and only. He would fight wars for him, he’d go through hell for him, he’d die for him. They were two halves of the same person. When God chose to create more life, he’d cut them from the same cloth. They were yin and yang. They were the sun and the moon. Night and day. Two souls intertwined.
“Don’t do this, please.”
Suguru stared right into Satoru’s eyes, his breathing erratic and uneven.
“I have to.”
“No you don’t, Suguru, please, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you, with your classy smiles and your tied up bun-”
Suguru’s eyes flashed with anger as he held up a hand. Satoru didn’t love him. He couldn’t love him. How would he understand what love actually is? This wasn’t true, he was lying. Satoru was the fucking sun, bright and loud, if Suguru stuck around for any longer to soak up all that light selfishly for himself, he’d never forgive himself.
“The fuck you mean you love me,” Suguru’s voice was dangerously soft, his knuckles white from clenching his fists. “This isn’t love, Satoru. You can’t love someone like me. You’re meant to be with a respectable young woman to uphold the honor and prestige of the Gojo family.” His voice cracked on the last syllable.
“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY FAMILY!” Satoru shrieked. He ignored the looks people were giving him as he rushed up to Suguru and grabbed his wrist, his other hand rising to twirl a piece of Suguru’s silky locks. Suguru batted his hand away as he leaned in close to Satoru’s ear.
“You can’t be with me, your family-”
“We’ll run away, who the hell says I need them anyways?” Satoru tenderly went to touch Suguru’s cheek and he slightly leaned in, but his hand was caught in mid-air.
“Stop this,” Suguru hissed, his normally calm obsidian eyes widened in a panic, “Not here, never in public.”
“Why, I love you, why shouldn’t everyone know?” Satoru beamed as he leaned in even closer, but Suguru took a huge step back.
“I, I can’t. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
“No, we can get through this, please. Don’t leave me. Please, I love you Suguru.” Satoru pleaded, his voice growing quieter with each word he said.
Suguru turned around and walked away farther into the crowd, his steps fading into the steady thrum of the other commuters. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears, but he couldn’t think about those. He couldn’t hold Gojo Satoru back anymore.
“WAIT!”
Suguru halted as he turned and saw Satoru running and weaving through the crowd. He fully turned and stuck his hands into the black pockets of his pants, seeing his best friend disheveled and panting with his hair all mussed up and his sunglasses askew.
God, he’d miss this.
He could say his last words to him, right?
He couldn’t let his best friend forget him.
He wanted to have this one selfish thing.
Just one selfish thing.
“Do you love me because you’re Gojo Satoru, or do you love because you’re Gojo Satoru? ”
-|-
Gojo abruptly stood up, not answering Shoko, as he strode over to his pantry, and grabbed a whole bottle of whiskey. Shoko’s eyes narrowed at Gojo as she watched him walk back to the couch.
Fuck being a lightweight.
As soon as he sat down he opened the bottle and downed half of it in one go, his hands shaking with his eyes squeezed tight as the memories played across his mind, drowning him as the ocean burst out of the dam.
His lips that always quirked up in that devious smile just meant for him.
His silky long hair that he always let Gojo brush, a soft breathy noise coming out of him when he brushed it in just the right spot.
His midnight eyes that always saw through Gojo, letting him be Satoru.
The birthmark on his hip that Satoru always loved tracing.
The last glance of him, walking through the crowds of Shinjuku, disappearing among them .
The countless nights spent under the sky,
The feel of him in his arms,
The sound of his voice, caressing him like a lover the first time he heard it.
“SATORU, FOR FUCK’S SAKE STOP!”
Crash
Shoko never called him that.
Gojo’s eyes snapped open as he was greeted to the sight of Shoko shaking his shoulders, his sunglasses on the floor along with the remains of the whiskey bottle on the ground.
“Don’t stand up or do anything sudden, don’t go passing out with me. And don’t you dare think you’re going to send me home. What the hell were you thinking, THIS COULD KILL YOU.” Shoko’s normally calm voice rose in pitch as she kept her hands on Gojo’s shoulders.
“I’m not goinggggg to die Shoookooo.” He slurred, his eyes drooping.
“Don’t you dare sleep, I’m getting you to a hospital you asshole. What were you thinking, you idiot? Do you hate that idol so much you want to kill yourself? Think of Megumi and Tsumiki.” Shoko grabbed her phone from the floor and quickly dialed in 119.
“You’reeeee sooo draMMaticcc.” Gojo whined as the world spun around him. He just needed to close his eyes for a second, he wouldn’t nod off, he’d be good.
He was wrong.