Chapter Text
How do you explain to people that you can see the future?
Pandora still doesn’t know.
And that’s a problem.
´cause HOW is she supposed to tell Lily she loves her since she’s a child?
Come on, she already thinks Panda is crazy.
The way she avoids eyes contact and every type of interaction with her is a sufficient proof.
Okay, maybe it’s understandable.
She might have said “ Oh hi Lily, I dream about you a lot!” at their first meeting in the train, when she was eleven.
And “Men are not for you, I saw it.” in her third year.
But that was ages ago.
She grew up.
She is fifteen, and she believes she can have a proper conversation with the redhead girl without making her freak out.
For fuck sake, she trained with Regulus and Dorcas.
It can’t be that bad, right ?
She just needs to go to her table, ask her to work with her, and then, go to the Slytherin table.
It will be fine.
“Dont make a fool of yourself, baby girl.” Barty teases her at the entrance of the Great Hall before joining their friends.
She wishes she was like him, sometimes. More confident, better at analysing people and situations.
She knows it’s just a mask, since she is her roommate this year (that’s a very long story involving the stairs that don’t allow them to go to their birth gender’s dormitory anymore and the creation of a new room just for them)(no, they don’t understand why) and was here when he had mental breakdowns, wondering what he had done wrong - to his friends mostly, sometimes to his father, and maybe it’s the simple fact that he exists, he repeats sometimes.
But still.
She closes her eyes, takes a breath, and begins to walk toward the Gryffindor table.
She doesn’t stop until she is behind Lily.
She can feel students watching her, which makes her even more anxious.
But, in front of her (okay, kinda far away but still), her best friends.
Regulus is smiling, a discreet smile just for her, to cheer her up.
Dorcas has her thumbs up and a huge smile on her face.
Barty is grinning, which is normal, but reassuring.
Her brother is distracted, staring at him.
Evan is endlessly in love with the Ravenclaw boy, and absolutely NOT subtle about it, even if he believes he is.
Truly, they’re terrible.
She prepares herself to speak, thinking that she can’t be more ridiculous than them anyways.
“Hmm, hi Lily.”
The girl startles.
She turns to face her.
“Oh. Hi pandora. I didn’t hear you coming.”
Why are her cheeks red?
“You couldn’t, I don’t make any noise when I’m walking. It’s an habit I have to study or capture creatures better.”
Forget what she said. She CAN be more ridiculous than the boys.
“Oh. Okay…?”
“Yeah, ugh… I was wondering if we could study spells together, on Saturday afternoon. I know you’re the best of your year.”
“Actually, Remus is better than me. But thank you. I… I am going to Hogsmeade with Mary on Saturday. Sorry.”
She didn’t plan a refuse.
By Merlin’s balls, what is she supposed to do now?
The silence is so awkward between them…
“Why don’t you ask Remus?”
She eyes at Lupin, panicking.
“I-I can’t. It’s… the bad period of the month.”
Shit.
She isn’t supposed to know about Remus’ little problem.
“What-”
She cuts Lily.
“A-and on Sunday? Are you free?”
“I don’t- Ouch! I-I mean… Yes, I am.”
Why is Mary looking at Evans like that?
What was the “Ouch !” for?
What the fuck is going on?
“Perfect ! Uh… On Sunday, then?”
“I guess, yeah.”
Lily is avoiding her eyes again.
What did Pandora do?
“I’ll come at two p.m. at your tower. Bye!”
She runs away, not even sure the Gryffindor heard her.
“Oh my god, I fucked up.” is the first thing she tells her friends when she’s sitting with them.
Dorcas looks at her, a question visible in her big black eyes.
She nods.
The Slytherin hugs her.
Not too long, so she isn’t overwhelmed after all that stress, but still enough so she feels a little bit better.
“Ughhhhh, why is it so complicated to be normal?” she complains.
Knowing what’s coming next, Regulus takes away her plate at the exact moment her head falls on the table.
“Ouch.” Panda moans.
“You always do that. Idiot.” Barty says, and she knows he is rolling his eyes.
“Still hurts.”
“Feel better, Dora?” her brother asks.
“Yes.” She answers, straightening up.
“Hurry up, baby girl, we have history of magic.”
“I don’t feel better anymore.”
She falls again on the table, making a loud noise.
“You love that uh? Making fun of her.”
Regulus’ voice is icy, but she learned with time that he is joking.
“Of course I do.” Barty laughs.
“You’re an asshole.”
“We love you though, Bee.” Evan adds.
Pandora looks up, meets Dorcas’ and Regulus’ eyes, laughs quietly.
They day they understand they’re in love with each other should become a holiday.
Just saying.
***
“Pandora, for fuck sake! YOU DON’T NEED TO FIT IN!” Barty screams.
She doesn’t want to, really, but the tears are already rolling down her face.
“Shit, no, no, no, no, no. Excuse me, Panda. I am not angry, you didn’t do anything wrong. Everything is fine. Listen, I am not shouting anymore.”
She can’t move.
Can’t stop crying too.
“Pandora, hey, everything is fine, you are safe here. You are stressed and it’s normal, okay? I am really sorry for making you even more anxious. But it’s alright, I’ve got you, baby girl.”
The silence is his only response.
He walks to her bed, searches for something and comes back with a box.
Her box.
He sits on the floor with it, opens it.
“You know what? Tell me more about stones. How you study them and collect informations. Tell me everything.”
He is sweet.
Adorable.
Only for the people he loves.
He chooses an amethyst, asks questions until she can speak properly and her cheeks aren’t wet anymore.
With gentle hands, he takes the Lapis Lazuli in her hands and stores it with the other stones.
“Panda, we will finish another time, alright? I don’t want you to be late. It is stressful enough already.”
“I-I still don’t know what to wear.”
“Like I was saying before” he has pink cheeks “you don’t need to hide yourself away. You just need to be yourself.”
“But-”
“No fit-in. If she doesn’t love you the way you are, then she doesn’t deserve you.”
“So… I wear the green skirt above the white one? With the opaline one under them? And… this top?”
“Yes, you’ll look wonderful Panda.”
“I-I can put on all the jewelries I want?”
“Yes.”
“Even the earrings Evan made?”
“Especially the earrings Evan made.”
“You really love him, don’t you?” she mutters.
“What ?”
“Uhhhh, Nothing. I’m gonna get ready!”
“Pandora, wait-”
The door of the bathroom closes.
She can’t help but laugh.
That was… something.
She breathes deeply, put some music, and get dressed.
She even has time to do a makeup.
After a last look in the mirror, she swings open the door.
“What do you think? Oh, hi Xenophilius.”
“Hi Pandora. You look beautiful. Something’s planned?”
“Maybe…”
“You are stunning, Panda.“
The blond girl blushes, not used to it. Barty doesn’t do compliments. And… well, she isn’t that close to Xeno.
Wait.
“Why are you here Xen?“
“I might… not be able to go to my dormitory anymore.“
“Oh so same thing as us. We should’ve understood it, there are three beds.“
“Pardon ?“
Barty’s accent is terrible. Not that French is easy, but he makes no effort. Just to make her laugh.
“Panda, with all my love, don’t fucking say “we“! I got it.“
“Sorry but what ? You have the same problem?“ Lovegood asks.
“Ugh… yes?“ her friend shrugs.
“We don’t know why tho.“
“You… you don’t…?“
“Yep.“
“Oh god. I’ll let you with your denial. Just know that I use they/them pronouns.“
“Wait. What?“
“Yeah, denial.“ they grumble.
Ohhhhh.
She got it.
Well, that’s a problem for future her.
Right now, she has to meet Lily.
“Bye Xen! See you later!”
Barty follows her, he is going to see Evan.
Technically, he doesn’t know it yet.
But Reg, Cas and her planned it. They decided today was dates’ day.
If everything goes right, Archie, Dorcas, her brother and him will “bump“ into James. Then, Marlene will cast a spell to tell Dorcas she “needs“ her.
Simple comme bonjour, would say her father.
“Pandora, you’re listening?“
“No. Sorry.“
“It’s fine. I was saying that I don’t fucking understand what Xenophilius meant. He’s fucking crazy.“
“They, Barty.“
“Shit. Right.“
“They’re not crazy. They just see and understand things others can’t. Just like me.”
She stops, tilts her head.
“You think I’m crazy ?“
“No, no, no that’s not what I said!”
“I know. I’m kidding.“
He groans.
She smiles.
There’s no rule forbidding her from making fun of him.
Just before their separation, she tells him:
“I did. Get what they said.“
She runs, giggling because of Barty’s questions behind her.