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You have probably heard of this old stereotype; men and women fight when decorating a Christmas tree. It cannot be helped that women have superior sense of aesthetics compared to the stronger sex right? Oh I’m sure you are rolling your eyes at me right now! Pray let me finish! Look I don’t think this universally applicable. I am not that narrow minded okay? But, there is indeed such an argumentative couple tonight, on one snowy island in the land of the rising Sun. Trust me their fight has nothing to do with stereotypes; they would argue over the color of the sky and nature of gravity if given the chance! It was in their charming and feisty nature to seek each other’s throats every chance they could get. It certainly did not help that Battler didn’t have any delicacy and Beatrice had too much of it to go around. One wouldn’t guess from her boisterous personality but it was true that small things mattered to her.
The Ushiromiya grand hall truly lived up to its name. It was a vast room just itching to be adorned in sorts of magical and sparkling and kyuute decorations. The ones to take on this massive effort were the lord and lady of the house, upon Beato’s insistence that it would be romantic. She brought boxes upon boxes of Christmas décor and let Battler take care of the tree.
“Putting those muscles to good use eh?”
Battler was covered in snow on his back a tree he chopped from the thick forest of the island.
“Yeah doing the important job unlike someone who has been playing with toys for the past hour.”
Beatrice pouted at his harsh words.
“Christmas decorations are an important element of Yule magic! How can you say such crude things Battler!”
- “There would be nothing to decorate if I hadn’t brought the tree to decorate!”
“And the tree would be nothing but a wet pine if not for the decorations that make it special!”
Battler still grumbling set alleged wet pine near Beatrice’s splendid portrait, and just that action alone followed by Beato’s subsequent groan was an overture for the evening.
“What?”
- “Well you can’t put it next to the portrait!”
“And why not?”
- “Ugh Battler, obviously my beauty will overshadow even the most charming of trees.”
Beato’s chest puffed with pride but Battler rolled his eyes and continued on.
“I see no problem.”
- “Hey! What do you mean! Stupid Battler!”
Beato continued complaining as she always does when Battler teased. He just indifferently looked at her huffing and puffing like she was a spoiled kitten complaining her milk wasn’t warm enough.
“And I dressed so nicely tonight and you didn’t even say anything!”
Battler took a subtle glance at her and indeed she took the entire festive spirit very seriously. Tailored tightly to her figure was gown that shimmered gold, rimming its sleeves, hem and off the shoulder neckline was white fur, with golden star earrings and necklace. Beato’s curls were set loose. Somehow it made her appear more grandiose than with her usual tidy hairstyle. Battler liked it more than he was willing to admit.
“You’re so dramatic.”
He commented harshly to obscure his flustered blush and knowing Beato she’ll chow down on his bait.
“Hmph! You have no eye for beauty! Put that tree near the opposite wall!”
He sighed and did as she said.
The tree finally settled in its place and now came the perplexing task adorning it. With the smoke of her pipe the boxes floated across the hall and settled right before them.
“I guess we should start with the lights.”
And for once neither of them objected to that. Getting a chair Battler climbed and with Beato’s help started draping the flickering golden lights around the tree.
“Beato.”
- “What?”
“You got them all tangled up.”
- “No I didn’t! I have them right where I want them.”
“No, when you made a turn there you didn’t drape the chain properly. You see how long it is.”
- “It will be fine!”
Battler sighed and let her experience the consequences of her own actions.
“Hmm, where’s the end of the chain. Huh?”
Beato tried kneeling down but the chain of lights wrapped itself around her like a snake making her slightly panic. Hastily looking around herself she tripped on her feet and fell down still wrapped in sparkling ornamentation.
“Battleerrrrr!!!!!”
She whined.
“I told you.”
- “Heeelppp me!”
She struggled teary eyed trapped by the beautiful holiday snake. Battler then coldly plugged in the lights and let her sparkle in her predicament.
“Heeeeeey!”
He chuckled at the prank of his own making.
“It suits you, especially given how tightly its wrapped!”
Quite perversely he cast his gaze at the parts of the chain that tightly snuggled her chest.
“AAAAA Battler stop bullying me! Help me out!”
- “No. I’m enjoying this. Wiggle some more.”
“You, heartless brute! I hate you!”
He watched her squirm like some kind of pathetic animal all teary eyed and awkward in her movements. He sighed and eventually came down from the ladder to help.
“Come on get over here.”
- “Hmph! No!”
Spiteful now she refused his aid and drew back from him in a bunny like motion.
“Beato stop being childish.”
Battler scolded her and reached for her once more. She pulled away out of the reach of his hands but he managed to grab the sparkly chain however the force of her jump pulled him too making him stumble on top of her.
“Was there need for any of this.”
Battler sighed, frustrated at her antics.
- “Battler you’re so erotic!”
Beatrice, now quite enjoying her captivity stuck out her tongue.
“You don’t intent to ravish me all chained like this!”
Then she feigned the innocence and cuteness she didn’t possess to further get on his nerves. He wacked her on the head making her cry once more.
“Oww Battler.”
- “Come on get up.”
He helped her out of the lights but her teasing didn’t end there.
“Hoho Battler, where is your hand slipping.”
With a frustrated twitch of his brow he decided it’s time for a counter attack.
- “Oh I’ll show you where it’s slipping.”
He started tickling her and pinching her here and there making her giggle uncontrollably.
“Hahahaha BATTLER STOPPP!”
- “Is that enough for you?”
“YES! YES! JUST STOP!”
After some light fun was had and lights were in place it finally came the time to arrange the ornaments. The shiny beautiful jewel like decorations sparkled from the box, each one more precious than the other. They were so cute and so pretty Beato could hardly contain her excitement.
“Battler what should be put first! The nutcrackers? Or the forest bunnies! Oh maybe the gingerbread men!”
- “Let’s start with the glass ones.”
“Oh good idea!”
As Beato pulled each one out her eyes shimmered like shining stars with admiration of each decoration’s beauty.
“Don’t get distracted and break some accidentally. These are vintage pieces of our family.”
- “I wasn’t going to hmph.”
Battler started placing the shiny ones next to him on gentle pine leaves that’s when he noticed Beato was giving him a disgusted look.
“What?”
- “What is wrong with you?”
“What?!”
- “No I’m serious. I was the one dropped on my head as a baby not you.”
“Will you tell me what’s wrong confusing woman!”
- “How can you place two large red ball ones next to each other.”
“What is wrong with that?!”
- “Ugh what is wrong he asks! Listen, that’s why you have the small golden star shaped ones. To break the monotony! Do you have no sense of balance and harmony?!”
“Oh my goodness like anyone will even notice or care.”
- “I care. I notice. Do it right.”
“Right she says, we are decorating a tree Beato.”
- “Yes there is taste and logic to that you know. This is why you are utterly incompetent!”
“Ah fine, fine, I’ll space them out. Such a demanding girl you are jeez.”
- “Yeah, yeah you just complain about your wife like any man does and then wonder why she finds a lover. I am so envious of Lion. I bet Will does as he is told.”
“Oh I’m sure he isn’t in a position to disobey. At least you don’t physically harass me.”
Silent tension lingered between their harsh words but soon enough they caught the rhythm of things. After all the center pieces were well arranged they proceeded to drape strings of pearls, then the red velvet bows and the dried orange slices.
“Aww Battler look at this cute ballerina one.”
- “Hmm let’s place her here so she can stand out more.”
“Yes!”
- “Beato should we place these crystal snowflakes here so it breaks up the red a little?”
“Yeah why not.”
- “Oh look at these adorable elves! Ah lets place them in a group!”
One after another they passed the ornaments through each-others hands. The arguments had subsided and soon enough they realized they were having fun. The tree grew heavy with beauty. The craftsmanship of each delicate decoration shimmered uniquely. The adorable forest animals and gingerbread house made from yarn, the nutcracker carved from wood, crystal snowflakes, the marble candy canes…
Battler started to understand why Beatrice said the decorations give the tree its magic. In a way it was often like this; he’d bring the foundation to her, in this case the tree and she’d make magic out of it. Looking at her so happily playing with something he helped provide filled him with a warm sensation of his childhood, so much so he leaned in to kiss to her on her cheek.
“B-b-b-b-b-b-b-Battler! What are you doing!”
Beatrice caught completely off guard, almost dropped the golden roses she held in her hands, they joggled in the air like she was doing a jester performance.
- “You look really beautiful tonight.”
“Eh… I- Um thank you.”
A flustered rosy blush tinted her beautiful face and a soft smile broke on Battler’s lips.
The time came at last to crown the Queen of Christmas. Beatrice held the star with same childlike wonder as before. She reached for the ladder and then quite abruptly Battler kicked it away from her.
“Hey what are you doin-“
Before she could even finish he lifted her up like a kitten letting her reach the top. Sheepishly and quite red from his bold gesture she placed the shining golden star at the top of the tree. Battler gently placed her down and in a warm embrace they admired their work.
“It’s really pretty.”
- “But it’s not done yet.”
Beato took her pipe and blew golden dust all over it making it shimmer even more magically than before.
“WOAAAH!”
From the hallway an excited voice of a child rushed in.
“UU-UU IT’S BEAUTIFUL UU-UU!”
- “Maria! Wait!”
Rosa tried to call to excited Maria but Battler just lifted her up with a broad smile.
“Do you like my work Maria kihihhi?”
- “Yes Beatrice uu.”
“My how splendid! There really isn’t anything quite like a Christmas tree.”
Eva’s haughty voice announced her entrance.
“You two really did a good job. It’s beautiful.”
Aunt Natsuhi followed in a gentle tone opposite of aunt Eva.
Soon the hall filled with Ushiromiyas all praising their hard work to which Battler and Beatrice could only say.
““It was team effort!””
- “Well you two ought to kiss under the mistletoe then!”
Kinzo teasingly wiggled the planet in front of them.
“Oh there is no need for that!”
- “Hahaha yeah!”
Battler and Beato tried to evade the embarrassing gesture but soon the entire family with servants jeered:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Genji indifferently held the mistletoe high and Battler embraced Beatrice into a warm kiss making everyone applaud.
“Well I hope everyone is ready for Christmas dinner?”
Gohda a show off as per usual couldn’t stand not being in the spotlight so he had ask, making everyone enthusiastically reply:
“YES!”
As they slowly made their way towards the dining room.
My dear readers that’s where our tale concludes. But don’t you assume the night went along as sweetly as I indicated. Oh please this is a Christmas family dinner! Nay this is a Ushiromiya Christmas family dinner! Krauss wanted to cut the turkey then Kinzo shouted at him for being incompetent, then Gohda tried to defuse the tension and cut the Turkey himself, but Kinzo insisted he carves it as the head of the house. But Beatrice pulled a prank on him by placing a knife with no sharp edges. Maria argued with Jessica over Santa being real and then Battler and Beatrice joined in, Battler on Jessica’s side and Beato on Maria’s. The mothers all competed at which one of them received the best Christmas gift from their husbands and Kanon to make everyone uncomfortable asked the family if they had ever read Christmas Carol. Shannon and George were asked very intrusive questions about their marriage and Rudolf of course made a dirty joke after having too much to drink. The family then retired to the parlor to watch trashy holiday TV programs. Then Lion gave them a call telling them how Will and them were on a Nutcracker showing. I’m sure everyone was envious of their classy relationship.
Well as noisy as it was I’m sure that the warm lit window from a far in the midst of snowy, stormy night looked like the warmest and coziest shelter. As they say we cannot choose our family you know, but we can choose our friends and I’m happy I chose you.
From Thea
To my beloved friends
Merry Christmas