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“Hey, what do you think of Mitsuru?”
Shinjiro looked up from the book he was reading. Akihiko was sitting at the desk, scrubbing at his boxing gloves. He had paused to make eye contact with his best friend, a curious look on his face.
The older boy shrugged. “She’s fine, I guess?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Akihiko sighed, setting the gloves down on the desk. Shinjiro’s desk, mind you. He had tried to kick Aki out of his room, but the dumbass didn’t listen. He never did. Bastard thought he owned the place. “What do you think of her?”
“The hell you talking about?” He scoffed, putting his attention back towards his book. “You’re such a dumbass sometimes.”
A moment of silence passed. Then Akihiko rose to his feet, marched his way over, and ripped the book out of his friend’s hands.
“Wh- hey!” He glared. “I was reading that!”
“Yeah? And now you’re not.” Akihiko closed the book, before discarding it to the side. “Now, answer the question: what do you think of Mitsuru?”
“I told you, she’s fine.”
“And I told you,” that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what do you mean? Use your words, Aki.”
“Just… y’know.” He gestured vaguely with his hands. “She’s… smart, yeah?”
“Well, yeah. That much is obvious. She’s certainly a hell of a lot smarter than you.”
Akihiko pursed his lips in thought. That was weird. Usually Shinjiro would’ve been caught in a headlock by now for continuing to insult his friend’s intelligence. If Aki wasn’t snapping back, there must have been something deeper going on in his brain.
Shinjiro raised an eyebrow. “Is there a reason you’re asking?”
“I guess not.” He frowned. “I’m just… I dunno. Thinking about her.”
“Did she say something to you?”
“Not really. Nothing specific, anyways.” He flopped across the bed. “Do you think she’s intimidating at all?”
He hummed. “Well, yeah. Her family is crazy rich. I don’t even wanna think about what she could do to us if we weren’t on her side.”
“But she’s nice, right?” Akihiko propped himself up with his elbows. “Like, you’d expect a mean rich girl, but she’s not. She’s nice to us.”
“… I guess.” He shrugged. “I mean, I don’t think she’s a bad person, if that’s what you’re getting at. I know I was kind of a jerk at first, but… well, she’s a good leader. She’s good at what she does. And… yeah, she’s a good friend. Kirijo isn’t the frigid ice queen I thought she once was. I’m glad we got to know the real her.”
“… yeah, me too.” Akihiko quieted down after that. Shinjiro wondered if that was really all that was bothering him, and if everything was solved now. He was about to ask for his book back, before his friend finally spoke up again. “Hey, Shinji?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think she’s pretty?”
If Shinjiro had been given a million years, he never would have thought that’d be what Aki said next. “Wh- huh?”
“I mean, like, yeah! She’s good looking! But do you think she’s pretty?”
He blinked at his friend. There was no way. “… don’t tell me you’ve got a crush on Kirijo.”
“What? No!” The boxer’s face was suddenly bright red. “I was just asking!”
“Look, Aki.” He sighed. He really did not want to be having this conversation, but someone had to save his friend before it was too late. “I hate to break your heart at the ripe age of sixteen, but you better drop this. She’s way out of your league.”
“Hey!” The heat on his face was shifting from embarrassment to anger. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
Shinjiro gestured vaguely towards his door. “Kirijo? Billionaire heiress. Probably been learning business etiquette since she was in diapers. And us?” He gestured to the two of them. “Couple of poor orphans she picked up off the street. You see what I’m getting at?”
“No.” Akihiko folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t.”
“Jesus, Aki, don’t make me spell it out for you.” He sighed. “People like us aren’t meant for people like her. I don’t want you getting in over your head.”
“Weren’t you just saying she isn’t a… what did you call it, ‘frigid ice queen?’ Why are you being so weird about her now?”
“Because being friends is one thing, having a crush is another. I’m telling you this because I care about you, Aki: drop it.”
“I already told you, I don’t have a crush on her! You’re just being stupid!”
“Whatever keeps you from making a fool of yourself. I’m not sure your intelligence can take any more hits, after all.”
Akihiko glared down at him. Then, in a swift motion, he grabbed the book from earlier, and smacked it down on Shinjiro’s chest.
He wheezed, the wind being knocked out of him before he had a second to think. He didn’t get a chance to recover before Akihiko was tackling him against the mattress.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” Shinjiro hissed, elbowing his friend roughly in the gut. “That hurt, you son of a bitch!”
“It’s supposed to hurt, dummy! That’s the point!”
“Why? I was trying to help you!”
“By being a jerk!”
And here came the headlock. Shinjiro hated how strong Aki had been getting lately. The boxing club already had him building up some muscles, but ever since joining SEES? The guy was really shaping up to be built like a brick shit-house. That was made quite evident by the way his arm was wrapped around Shinjiro’s neck, keeping him stuck in place.
Well, Shinjiro would fight back just as dirty, at least. He kicked against Akihiko’s sides and stomach, doing anything to break free. “What’s with the playground insults?! We’re in high school now, you moron!”
“You’re the moron, moron!”
“Why, you-!”
There was a sound of a sharp, precise knock against the door. It was one that made both boys instantly freeze up, and one that could only belong to their other dorm-mate.
When they didn’t answer, she spoke up, “Aragaki? Are you in there?”
“Uh-“ he jabbed Aki in the ribs one last time, hissing a quiet, “get off me,” before replying to Mitsuru, “yeah, I’m here.”
“May I come in for a moment?”
Akihiko let go of Shinjiro, before answering for him, “go ahead.”
Shinjiro punched his side for that. “It’s not your room, idiot!”
“What? So she can’t come in?”
“She can, but that’s not your call to make!”
Before they could go back to beating the shit out of each other, Mitsuru opened up the door. Her gaze caught both the boys in bed, but she didn’t seem too surprised about it. “Good. You’re both here. That makes things easier.”
“Something up?” Shinjiro asked with a quiet hum.
“Somewhat, yes. I’m sorry to announce this last minute, but we’re going to Tartarus tonight.”
“Huh? Why?”
“The lab has requested I urgently send them some data on Penthesilea’s navigation abilities. They’re hoping we can run some experiments soon to lengthen her range.”
Shinjiro frowned softly. He really didn’t like how much those scientists treated her like their own little lab rat. He also didn’t like his involvement in it, but it was selfish to worry about that when Kirijo was supposedly directly being experimented on. She was the one who deserved to throw a fit.
Akihiko, though, didn’t seem to be focusing much on that. “Say no more.” He grinned. “We’ll be ready.”
“Good.” Mitsuru smiled. “I’ll leave you both to rest up now. I’ll meet you in the lobby at the usual time.”
Without waiting for another response, she shut the door behind her. It was almost enough to annoy Shinji: he hadn’t agreed to go yet. But he supposed he’d direct his anger at Aki instead, who spoke for him.
To his credit, though, Aki had the decency to look a little bit ashamed. Or was that worry? “Hey, uh, Shinji?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think she heard us yelling at each other earlier?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno.”
“… do you think she heard us yelling about having a crush on her?”
“… I hope not. Or you’re a dead man.”
~
No matter how many times they went to Tartarus, it never got any less creepy.
It was hard not to be on edge when the layout changed every time. No matter how many times they came here, the twists and turns would always be unfamiliar. Of course it kept him on his toes.
But tonight, his worry was focused less on the shadows and dark corners of the Hell Labyrinth. Instead? His anxiety was shot up from keeping an eye on Aki.
It didn’t matter what the dumbass said: he was clearly crushing hard on Kirijo. Shinjiro couldn’t believe he hadn’t picked up on it sooner. It felt so goddamn obvious from the way he walked so close to her, joked easily, even called her by her first name. He was getting way too comfortable. Shinjiro had to make sure he didn’t make a fool of himself.
“You said we need some data, right?” Akihiko eagerly punched his fist into his palm. “How much of that data involves pounding some shadows into the ground?”
“That will indeed be part of it, yes.” Mitsuru was fighting back an affectionate smirk. “It will be difficult to test the range of Penthesilea’s abilities without some information on how she does in combat.”
“Then let’s get to it! There’s gotta be-!”
“Hold on.” Shinjiro clasped a hand over his friend’s shoulder, pulling him back. “You looking to get yourself killed?”
“Wh- hey!” Akihiko huffed, shaking his friend off. “What’s the big deal?”
“The ‘big deal’ is that you’re an idiot with the self-preservation of a walnut.”
“A walnut? What does that even mean?”
“It means your skull is about as thick as one.”
Akihiko raised a fist to punch Shinjiro’s arm, but before he could make contact, he was distracted by the sound of a quiet giggle. They both turned their heads to see Mitsuru laughing like a schoolgirl.
… which, she was a schoolgirl, but she hardly ever acted like it.
“Alright, that’s enough out of both of you.” She straightened herself out. “We’re on a time limit here. And with the noise you’re both making, it won’t be long before you alert some shadows to our location.”
Akihiko snorted. “Oh, and you won’t?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not the one shouting.”
“But you’re the one giggling away.”
Jesus, was this Aki’s attempt at flirting? Even if it wasn’t with a Kirijo, the embarrassment would painful enough. He stomped on Akihiko’s foot, huffing.
“Hey, ow!” Akihiko glared at him. “What the hell was that for?”
“You’re being annoying.”
“I didn’t even do anything!” He turned to the other. “Sorry, Mitsuru. Shinji’s in a real bitchy mood tonight.”
She hummed. “Well, I’m starting to get used to Aragaki’s bad moods.”
“Yeah, right.” Shinjiro rolled his eyes. “You haven’t seen me when I’m really pissed.”
“No, but I’ve seen you in battle. I know how well you can direct that anger of yours.” She suddenly stopped, raising a hand to keep them both behind her. “And speaking of… I see a target up ahead.”
“Ah.” He frowned. “That, uh, your navigation abilities or whatever?”
“Hardly.” She laughed. “It’s merely my eyes. Look.”
Embarrassment creeped up on his cheeks as he glanced ahead. There was a shadow looming around the corner that he definitely should have noticed. “Right, yeah. We going in?”
“About time.” Akihiko grinned. “Just say the word.”
Mitsuru nodded. “I’ll let you take the lead, Akihiko. Aragaki, fall in beside him. I’m going to try and get a scan from back here, but I’ll join in if things get dangerous.”
Shinjiro nodded towards the other boy. “Just don’t screw it up, got it?”
Akihiko sighed. “Do you have any faith in me?”
“I lost it all years ago.”
“Can you two do this later?” Mitsuru shot them a disappointed look. “There’s a shadow, remember?”
“Right.” He nodded. “Aki, you’re up.”
“Say no more.” The boxer grinned. “Follow my lead.”
Akihiko tended to be the type to rush into danger without a second thought. Today, though, he seemed a lot more careful with how he moved forward. Shinjiro almost wondered if he was trying to impress Mitsuru. That explanation made more sense than Aki finally smarting up, at least. He’d have to knock some sense into him later. For now, the exploration came first.
Aki took easily to his persona, far easier than Shinjiro did, but the dumbass still preferred fighting with his fists. At least it made it easier for Shinjiro to match his axe strikes alongside his friend’s attacks.
The boxer came rushing in, roughly striking the shadow in the side. The sneak attack caught it off guard, and it flailed its claw towards the source of the attack.
Unfortunately, it seemed to land a decent hit on Aki. He stumbled on his feet, hand clutching over the area of impact. That meant it was time to stop fucking around.
Shinjiro ran forward, slamming down his axe on the shadow. As he tried to pull it back for another hit, the shadow responded by sending out a cold, icy wave of an attack.
It chilled Shinjiro to the bone. His muscles stiffened, and his axe slid out of his grasp. He heard Aki yelp in front of him. Right, personas had weaknesses, and Aki’s didn’t do well with ice. That hit must have been a lot on him. But his own feet were frozen in place, and he couldn’t rush to his friend. Damnit he had to find a way to-
“Penthesilea!”
With a sharp strike of its sword, the persona sliced through the shadow’s body. It was followed up by an array of similar attacks, but this time, from the young woman who controlled Penthesilea.
“That’s quite enough!” Mitsuru shouted, raising her leg to stomp her foot into the shadow. Its pathetic squeal would almost make Shinjiro feel bad if he wasn’t already pissed at the bastard. It tried to reach a claw up to strike back, but Mitsuru answered that with another strike of her sword.
“Pathetic,” she scoffed. “Perish like the horrid beast that you are.” She drove her foot into the shadow one last time, squishing it down until it exploded into a pile of goop.
Well damn, that was impressive.
Mitsuru crouched down, offer a hand out to Akihiko. “Are you alright?” She spoke softly. “You look freezing.”
“I’m fine, just a little dizzy,” he reassured. “I can heal up, though. You should check on Shinji.”
“Don’t worry, he hasn’t escaped my thoughts.” She made sure Akihiko was propped up, before nodding. “Sit there for a moment. Don’t move until your head clears up.”
“Really, i’m okay.” He smiled. “You were pretty good, you know.”
“Not any better than I had to be.” She rose, before turning to Shinjiro. “How about you? How do you feel?”
“I’m okay,” the older boy confirmed. “Just a little col-“
Before he could finish his sentence, Mitsuru was sliding her light jacket off her frame. She folded it across Shinjiro’s shoulders, pulling it as tight as she could manage.
“It’s… not quite your size.” She smiled nervously. “But… I hope it at least helps.”
… Yeah, it did help. Because there was a sudden heat rising on Shinjiro’s cheeks.
“… I’m sorry, to both of you.” She ducked her head apologetically. “Everything was so quick. I didn’t have any time to set up my navigation. I let you both get hurt.”
“Don’t apologize. It was the shadow, not you.”
“I should have acted sooner.”
“I think you acted at the perfect time.”
Mitsuru paused, looking up at the other with wide eyes. Slowly, her lips curled into a smile, and she gave a small nod. “Well… the important thing is that everyone’s alright. Though, I believe we should finish up tonight. It’s a pity to get so little done in one night, but… I wouldn’t feel right continuing to explore.”
“Really?” Shinjiro raised an eyebrow. “You’re not concerned about that data you gotta gather, or whatever?”
“They can wait.” She hummed. “The safety of my teammates and friends is far more important. It was ridiculous of me to expect us to be ready for a mission with such short notice, not to mention irresponsible. I apologize for such a foolish mistake.”
Maybe Kirijo wasn’t so bad after all. “I already told you, stop with the apologizing. But let’s get going.” He began to slide the jacket off. “Lead the-“
She quickly pulled the jacket back over him, her fingers lingering on the fabric – and lingering across his chest. “Keep it on, Aragaki.”
“Huh?”
“I believe one of us is much better suited for the cold. Don’t make me lecture you. Wear the jacket until we get home.” Her eyes gleamed. “Or are you going to have to be punished?”
… shit.
~
Shinjiro couldn’t sleep much that night.
Normally a Tartarus trip would leave him drained of all energy, no matter how short it was. He’d crawl back into bed and pass out within minutes.
But tonight, he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Kirijo fought against that shadow, or the way she lent him her jacket, or the way she let her fingers linger on his chest, or the way she smiled at him, or the way she said she’d punish-
Shit. Did he have a crush on Kirijo?
That wasn’t allowed, full stop. Sure, there was still the issue of her being leagues above him, but worse than that? That was Aki’s girl. He couldn’t be getting all warm and fuzzy around his best friend’s crush, even if he had no chance with her.
Shinjiro groaned, shoving his pillow over his head. Girls really did complicate life. Why couldn’t they go back to being stupid kids in the orphanage who only had each other? Kirijo was just making everything a mess. Could tonight get any worse?
Apparently it could, because his spiral of emotions was sharply interrupted by a knock at his door.
He pulled the pillow off his face, and quickly sat up. For once, he prayed it wasn’t Kirijo. He couldn’t face her right now. Not like this.
Luckily, if there was a God, it seemed to take pity on him, because before he could muster up a response, a familiar voice called out, “Shinji? You awake?”
He let out a small sigh in relief. “Yeah. I am.” Yanking the blanket off his frame, he crawled out of bed to go unlock the door. When he opened it, Aki was standing there, staring at him.
“Hey, Shinji,” he spoke quietly. “Can I sleep here tonight?”
“… ‘course you can, dumbass.” Shinjiro stepped aside to let him in. “What’s bugging you?”
“I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I just can’t sleep.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“Really? What’s up with you?”
“… I’m not sure, either,” he lied poorly.
Luckily, Aki didn’t seem to notice. He just made his way over to Shinjiro’s bed like he owned the place, flopping down.
With a small sigh, he shut the door, before joining his friend on the bed. Hopefully having Aki here would offer some comfort that got him to sleep, instead of a crushing overwhelming feeling of guilt. Both felt equally possible.
Akihiko was pretty quiet. Unusually so. Usually, he’d be rambling some sort of nonsense to try and distract his mind enough to drift off. It was a dumb method, sure, but the one he always seemed to go for. The silence was unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
It also left room for the guilt to grow within Shinjiro’s chest. “Aki?”
“Yeah?” He looked over. “What’s up?”
“… do you… really think Kirijo is cool?”
“Huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Earlier, we were talking about it. You asked me what I thought of Kirijo.”
“Oh, yeah.” He paused. “Uh, yeah, I do. Why are you bringing that up now, though?”
“… that Tartarus trip tonight. The way she stepped in to save us… it was… I guess it was pretty cool.”
“It was.” He laughed softly. “She’s a good leader, isn’t she?”
“Yeah.” He exhaled. “Kirijo-“
“You know you don’t have to call her that, right?”
“Huh?”
“I call her by her first name. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you did, too.”
“… I’ll stick to Kirijo.” He couldn’t risk getting any closer to her. Not when she was making him feel all funny tonight.
“You’re so weird, you know that?”
“You’re one to talk.”
Akihiko lightly punched his shoulder. “Seriously, though, you know you don’t have to be afraid of her, right?”
“I’m not afraid of her,” he fired back. “I’m just… keeping a reasonable distance.”
“… you know how stupid you sound right now, right?”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Make me.”
“It’s too late for that.” He rolled onto his side, heartbeat pounding too loud for his comfort. “… Aki?”
“Yes, Shinji?”
“We’re best friends, right?”
“… uh, obviously.”
“And nothing’s ever gonna change that?”
“… are you feeling okay?”
“Just answer the question, please.”
Akihiko placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Shinji. Look at me.”
Nervously, he glanced over his shoulder.
Akihiko’s gaze burned into him. “Of course nothing will ever change that. What’s got you thinking like that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying.”
“You really think I’m dumb enough to not know when you’re lying to me after all this time?”
“Well, you are pretty dumb.”
“Shinji.”
“Seriously, Aki, it’s nothing. Can we just drop it?”
“I’m not dropping it if it’s got you acting like this. Tell me what’s wrong.”
His chest was swimming with guilt, but his head was screaming at him. Tell him the truth. Tell him the truth.
“Shinji?”
“Kirijo,” he blurted out.
“… what?”
Shit. “I- I mean-“
“You’re jealous of Mitsuru?”
“… huh?”
“Shinji,” Akihiko’s eyes softened, “just because we’re making new friends doesn’t mean we won’t always have each other.”
“… you think I’m jealous?”
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right word.” Akihiko grabbed his friend’s hand, squeezing it. “Worried, maybe? But you don’t have to be. Look, change can be a good thing, right? I mean, last time we were really close with anyone else was…”
“Hey, you don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.” Shinjiro sat up. “I didn’t mean to make you.”
“Yeah, let’s maybe save that for another night.” Akihiko glanced down. “But the point is… we’ve got room for another friend, yeah? And even if we do let someone else in, you and I will always have each other. That won’t ever change, okay, Shinji?”
Akihiko held out his hand, staring at his best friend with a bright optimism. He really believed that was all there was to it: a simple worry about their friendship. Shinjiro couldn’t just continue to let him believe that, right…?
Slowly, he reached out, grabbing Akihiko’s hand and squeezing it. “Yeah. It won’t change.”
“Exactly.” Akihiko pressed their foreheads together. “You feeling any better now?”
“I am.” He nodded. “Kirijo… she won’t change anything between us, no matter what.”
“There you go.” He grinned. “Love you, Shinji.”
“Love you, too, Aki.”
Akihiko pulled back, seeming far more content than he had been when he first entered the room. Had he been worried about something being off in their friendship? Maybe that’s why he thought that was the deeper problem, even if he wasn’t aware of his own feelings.
“You look tired,” Shinjiro quietly commented. “We should really get to bed: we have school tomorrow.”
“Right, yeah. Can I still sleep here?”
“No, I’m kicking you out after all that.”
Akihiko punched his arm. “Asshole.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He flopped back down on the bed. “Get some sleep, Aki.”
Akihiko laid down next to him. “Goodnight, Shinji.”
“… night, Aki.”
That couldn’t be it. The conversation couldn’t end there. He still hadn’t been honest to Aki about his feelings. He was crushing on his best friend’s girl, and not doing anything about it.
He sighed, rolling over. He was being a dumb, hormonal teenager. That was it. Any sorts of pent up feelings he had would fade away in a day or two, and then things could go back to normal.
They had to. He wasn’t going to give fate another choice.