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Ralomir shivered uncontrollably, fingers shaking as he reached for the red berries hanging off of the snow covered bush. He swore through his chattering teeth as he clumsily dropped them, his frozen hands unable to hold them properly. Frosty clouds of his own breath obscured his vision as he knelt down in the dense snow, attempting to pick up the only source of food he had.
A white flake drifted in front of his face, and then another. Ralomir looked up, and, with a feeling of immense dread, saw large, gray clouds drifting over him, bringing a shower of snowfall with them. Finally managing to pick up the berries, he shoved them into his mouth as he dashed into the nearby forest in search of shelter.
It felt like he was chewing ice.
Trudging through the snow, he remembered an argument he had overheard between his mother and father several weeks ago, the night before he was forced out into the wilderness.
"He's not ready!" his mother had pleaded. "He can do it next year, after he grows a bit more, gains more experience. He doesn't have to-"
"Shut up!" his father had bellowed, the words booming through their house, certainly loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "This is why he's like this. You coddle him. You might as well still breastfeed the whelp. Not ready? The lad's old enough to grow a beard, though I'd be surprised if he could, given the fact that he's about as manly as a newborn girl! His brother did it as soon as he could hold a sword with two hands! The same went for me, and my father, and my father's father! The same goes for anyone who calls themself a Nord! He's an embarrassment. I won't stand for it. Not a day longer. If he wants to consider himself my son, then he's going to be out of this house by the crack of dawn, and not return until he's killed an ice wraith. End of discussion!"
Just like he did as he had overheard this conversation from behind the closed door of his room, Ralomir felt tears welling up in his eyes. Only, out here, it was too cold for them to flow.
The iron sword and shield, used by all of his other male family members when they had to do this, weighed heavily on his back. The eyeholes of his helmet made it difficult to see, the cold metal continuously rattling against his skull. The furs donned across his body, worn out and smelly from weeks of wandering through the wilds of Winterhold, did little to keep him warm. And his heavy boots made traversal through the now knee-high snow difficult, not even protecting him from pain as he tripped over a concealed rock and fell forward.
Ralomir began to pick himself up, only to stop halfway through and collapse back into the endless blanket of snow.
What was the point?
Try as he might, he had found no signs of ice wraiths anywhere. And even if he did find one, there was no chance he could actually defeat it. Amongst all the youths of his village, he was by far the worst at combat. In spite of that, he wanted to do this. He wanted to prove himself to everyone. Maybe then, the villagers wouldn't tease him whenever he walked by. Maybe then, his older brother and his gang wouldn't use him as a punching bag. Maybe then, his father wouldn't see him as an utter disappointment. Maybe then, he would have a friend beyond his own mother. Maybe then, that pretty girl at the local tavern would look his way.
Maybe then... maybe then...
Snow was piling onto his back. A few more minutes of this, and he would be buried under it. The thought of that didn't sound so bad. All of this would be over. And then he would be out of the way, where nobody could bother him, and he could bother nobody.
But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something. A long, blue, ethereal form, in the shape of a serpent, floating through the air. And like a serpent, it let out a long, icy hiss, barely audible above the howling of the wind. Ralomir raised his head, watching as it weaved through the trees and vanished into the depths of the forest. With a gasp, he stood up, snow shaking off of him as he dashed after the faint wispy trail it left behind.
"Wait!" he shouted, fumbling for his sword and shield. "Stop! Fight me!"
But the wraith wouldn't listen. It slipped further and further out of Ralomir's view, until it was nothing but a blue speck of light amidst the white curtain of falling snow.
"Please!" he yelled desperately. "Don't go! Please!"
His helmet tipped forward on his head, completely obscuring his vision. Grabbing it by the horns and adjusting it back, he realized far too late what was in front of him. Rather than digging through snow, his foot suddenly landed on absolutely nothing. And then, it plunged. The rest of his body followed as he fell off the side of a cliff.
Ralomir screamed as his body tumbled through open air. For a brief moment, he was able to look up, and saw, at the edge of the cliff, the form of the ice wraith. But only for a moment. His back slammed into the top of a tree.
And then he didn't see anything at all.
***
Ralomir gasped as he woke up. He thought he was dead. There was no chance his soul would go on to Sovngarde, so he wondered what kind of afterlife involved a cave with a fire burning within. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw there was a spit atop the fire, a large chunk of meat slowly cooking over it. And standing in front of the fire was a large, muscular man, wearing nothing but a bear pelt as a loincloth.
"Finally awake, are you?" the man asked in a deep voice.
Ralomir could only stare at him, his jaw hanging stupidly.
"Looks like you are," the man said, brushing snow off of his thick beard. "Right on time. The meat's done cooking."
Ralomir then noticed, in the corner of the cave, a very large, and very dead, horker lying there, with a large chunk carved out of the torso. His sword, shield, and helmet lay beside it.
"W-Who are you?" Ralomir asked.
"Nobody," the man said, carving out a piece of cooked horker meat. "Nobody at all. Here. Take some."
Ralomir was only then aware of the pile of pelts he had been lying atop of. He was also only then aware of how sore his back was. He groaned with pain as he attempted to stand up, only to immediately sit back down.
The man approached Ralomir, food in hand. "That was quite the nasty fall you had," he said, extending the meat out to him. "You're lucky I came across you when I did."
Ralomir snatched the horker meat from the man's hands and quickly began devouring it. "Thank you," he finally said, wiping the grease covering his lips with his arm.
"Don't mention it," replied the man. "What were you doing out there?"
Ralomir returned the man's question with his own. "Aren't you cold?" he asked, looking over the man's bare body.
The man chuckled. "A little. But not enough to bother me. Now, aren't you going to answer my question?"
"I... was searching for an ice wraith. And I found one, but I lost it. The snow and my helmet made it hard to see, and then-"
The man laughed, echoing loudly through the cave. "An ice wraith?"
Ralomir felt his cheeks turn red. "Yes, what of it?" he asked, thinking that the man was teasing him. He expected him to say that he looked far too old to still be needing to hunt for one.
"Nothing," the man instead replied. "I can't believe they're still enforcing that citizenship test, or whatever they call it. How long have you been searching for one?"
"...Two weeks," Ralomir said sheepishly.
The man whistled in surprise. "Two weeks... that's something."
His words made Ralomir roll his eyes. "Yes, I know, I'm a really lousy Nord for taking two whole weeks to find an ice wraith, only to immediately lose it. You don't have to say it."
The man shook his head. "That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that sticking it out for two whole weeks is mighty impressive. When I was your age, if I hadn't found one within the day, I would have given up and gone brothel hopping."
"Yeah, well, some good sticking it out did me. All it did was nearly get me killed. With nothing to show for it."
"You're alive. I think that's plenty to show for it."
Ralomir scoffed. "Not according to everyone back at my village. Always laughing at me. Calling me weak. I bet they don't even miss me. They're probably glad I'm gone."
"Feeling sorry for yourself? Hmm... maybe you are a lousy Nord after all."
Ralomir glared at the man. "Easy for you to say. You don't know what I've been through my entire life. You've probably had it easy. You're exactly how my father wished I turned out. Big. Strong. Capable. Everyone probably wants to be friends with you."
The man chuckled. "Boy, if any of that were true, why would I be hiding out in a cave now, nearly naked?"
Ralomir sighed. "I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have just assumed things like that."
"Don't be." The man glanced over his shoulder. "The fire's dying."
The man stood up and knelt beside the fire, placing the remaining horker meat off to the side. Ralomir expected him to toss some kindling into it, or something like that. Instead, he took a deep breath, and let out a shout. The sound thundered throughout the cave, causing Ralomir to plug his ears and close his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the fire blazing furiously, its light encompassing the entire area.
"You..." Ralomir began. "You... you know how to Shout."
He had only ever known one person that knew how to Shout, one of the village elders. And he only used it very sparingly.
"Hmm?" replied the man. "Oh, yes, I suppose I do."
In spite of the pain, Ralomir managed to fully stand up. "Could you teach me how to?
The man's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "Why do you want to learn how to Shout?"
"It's obvious isn't it? I'm weak. Powerless. But if I could Shout, I can defeat an ice wraith. And... and..."
"It would make everyone have respect for you? Is that it?"
Ralomir was slightly embarrassed, but he nodded.
The man sighed. "Listen, boy. Your problem isn't that you're weak. It isn't that you're powerless. It's that you care far too much about what a bunch of dumb oafs have to say about you."
Ralomir could only reply with a dumb expression.
"Tell me," the man continued, "do you actually want to find and kill an ice wraith? Or are you doing it simply because everyone is expecting you to?"
Ralomir stared at the man, then down at the ground. He didn't give an answer at first. The man then watched as tears began to drip down Ralomir's face.
"I just..." Ralomir sobbed. "I just want to be accepted. To be treated like everyone else."
"And why do you need that from people who never liked you to begin with?"
"I... I don't know. I just do." Ralomir wiped the snot from his nose. "No. No, I don't want to kill an ice wraith. I never did. Why should I kill a creature that's done nothing to me?"
"Then what is it you really want to do?"
Ralomir sniffled. "I don't know that either. I never thought about it. I was always so concerned with trying to do what everybody else wanted me to do... trying to be what everybody else wanted me to be... that I never thought about what I wanted for myself."
The man smiled. "Now you're getting it." He approached Ralomir again, putting his hand on his shoulder. "You're not a true Nord, boy."
Ralomir looked up at the man, confused. The confusion quickly turned to anger, but before Ralomir could speak, the man held his finger up to Ralomir's lips.
"No," he said. "You're much more than that. You're a living person. Alive. That's what truly matters."
Ralomir closed, opened, then closed his mouth. Then he hugged the man, bare chest and all.
"What should I do?" he asked. "Where should I go from here?"
The man returned Ralomir's embrace. "I can't decide that for you. Only you can. But there's one thing I do recommend you do."
"What is it?"
"Above all else, listen to your heart. And never stop listening to it."
"Is that what you do?"
The man chuckled. "What do you think?"
***
Ralomir couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep. He opened his eyes, only to see complete darkness. The fire had been extinguished. He called out to the man, but received no response. Anxious that something bad might have happened, he stumbled over to where his equipment was, donned it, and followed the walls of the cavern with his hand in order to find the exit.
The light spilling through the mouth of the cave was blinding, reflecting off the sheets of white snow that lingered outside. The sky was blue, and clear. Not a cloud in sight. Neither were there any footprints that led in or out of the cave.
Ralomir waited for hours. Then a day. Then two. But the man never returned. Eventually, as he finished the last of the remaining horker meat, he understood that he wasn't coming back. He had rested, and regained his strength. But as he took a step into the snow, his boots felt heavier than ever.
He didn't know where he was. Nor where to go. He wandered much the same as he did before, hardly ever seeing another living being. Clouds began to roll in. Flakes fell. Another storm was imminent.
Then, he saw it. A blue, ephemeral serpent, drifting along with the cold winds. It noticed Ralomir as well. Stopped, and hissed at him. Ralomir stared at it for a long time. He reached for the sword and shield at his back. Gripped them tightly in his hands.
And then threw them on the ground.
He dropped his helmet beside them. Then, he took off his boots. Threw the furs that covered him to the side, until he was left wearing nothing but his loincloth. The ice wraith had fled by then. But Ralomir was no longer interested. He turned in the opposite direction, trudging into the deepest part of the storm.
Within a matter of minutes, the equipment was entirely buried in the snow