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“You’re sad.” Krolia’s voice cut through the sounds of the wind whistling outside of the cave and the crackling of the fire. Keith didn’t even dare to look up, not wanting to meet his mother’s eyes. He loved her, of course, but she was too perceptive sometimes. She was one of the only people who could read him like an open book and it made Keith squirm in his seat. He liked his privacy, he liked being mysterious. He couldn’t hide anything from his mother.
“Keith, you know hiding things jeopardizes our mission.” He had taken another mission at his mother’s side. He would say it was because they needed their best fighters there, but deep down he was longing for some connection. They had ended up on a freezing, desolate planet. So much for connection.
“I’m fine.” Keith grumbled, poking the fire with a stick. He couldn’t help but glance down at his watch as he did, catching the time back on Earth. Mid December. His heart ached in a way he could not explain.
“Talk to me, not diplomat to diplomat, but mother to son.” She grabbed a container from her bag and unscrewed it, pouring the steaming liquid into two cups. Keith smiled slightly, even though he would never get used to the harsh flavors of Galra coffee. “This is what human moms do, right?”
“Don’t ask me, I wouldn’t know.” Keith laughed slightly and took the cup.
“I suppose we aren’t the best example are we?” Krolia raised her cup and took a drink. “Now talk.”
“I don’t even know how to start.” Keith took a deep breath, trying to search for a way to say it. “A year ago I was flying around in space with my… team. Now I- I don’t know how to say it.”
“You’re lonely?” Krolia raised an eyebrow.
“Not lonely, I like the people at the Blade well enough, but they're not-”
“They’re not Voltron.” Krolia finished for him, watching his head fall. He would never say it himself, but Krolia knew how much he loved his friends. Keith had put so much of himself in his work this past year that Krolia could see how stretched thin he was. It was good work that he was passionate about, but he hardly smiled. Well, a true Keith smile was rare, but it was more common when his friends were around.
“No, nobody can be Voltron. Well- Pidge is training the next paladins, but they’re not us.” Keith shook his head.
“Well, it’s a holiday on Earth soon, is it not?” Krolia was not the most well versed on Earthly traditions, but she remembered how Keith’s father loved to celebrate. “Why don’t you go visit them?”
Keith grimaced. “They’re all busy. I mean Hunk is somewhere with his catering stuff, I got a card from Shiro and Curtis and they’re traveling, and the Holts don’t even celebrate Christmas.”
Krolia noticed the name he had left out, anyone would have simply let it be, but Krolia was not just anyone. She was not there for Keith’s childhood, but since they had reunited she had become a certified Keith-wrangler. “And Lance?”
Keith looked into the fire, again avoiding eye contact with his mother. The last time he had seen Lance had not ended well to say the least. Keith believed everything he had said, but if he had the chance he would have said it better. His words were harsh but true. What was said was painful, but what went unsaid cut even deeper. Their relationship had always been rocky, teetering on the edge of something but neither of them were willing to cross that line.
Krolia cleared her throat and straightened her back. “You know what Keith? I have been speaking to you as a mother, but now I speak to you as a Galran representative to the Galactic Coalition.”
“What?”
“Once we get off this planet, it is your duty as a diplomat to visit former paladin of Voltron Lance McClain for the holidays to promote peace between our people.”
“Mom!”
“That’s representative Krolia to you.”
Keith had only visited the McClain family home once, which was when everything between him and Lance blew up. It was tucked away in a peaceful area with rolling hills dotted with flowers and farm animals roaming around. It was so beautiful, so calm, so unlike the Lance Keith had known. Part of him was incredibly pissed off at his mom, who did she think she was telling him how to go about his life. The last time he had seen Lance it was made clear their lives no longer ran parallel to each other and they would have to say goodbye, why did Krolia think she could fix this? The other part of him, the secret part that only team Voltron knew, was happy. He had been through some of his hardest times with Lance and he wanted that closeness back.
He landed his ship on a hill a polite distance away from the house in a place that didn’t look like farmland. The ramp rolled down and Keith was immediately hit with a wave of warm air that smelled like fragrant flowers and carried the slight salt of the sea. It smelled like Earth. Keith was doing important work in space, but he could never forget his time on Earth and how much he missed it.
The sun was going down over the hills as Keith made his trek down to the house, a sense of doom settling in his chest. Why was he doing this? He could have told his mother no and gone about his work, why didn’t he just back out?
He approached the house cautiously. The trees had been draped in twinkling lights and the windows glowed warmly. From inside he could hear loud conversation and laughter, it made his heart ache.
Keith hesitated before knocking on the door. What right did he have to barge into their family traditions? Keith, the guy who had insulted Lance so bad that he never wanted to see his face again. His rival, the person who probably gave him the most stress in his life, who did he think he was? He hoped somewhere inside Lance there was still a part of him that thought of Keith as his friend, his teammate, someone he had fought beside, someone he had laughed with.
It was for that small hope Keith ended up knocking on the door.
He could hear a bit of commotion from inside the house, the family likely wasn’t expecting any visitors. Through the commotion a familiar voice emerged.
“Jeez I got it!” Lance yelled, his voice getting louder and Keith felt frozen. Lance was going to open that door and close it right on his face, he knew it. Why did he even come?
The door swung open and there stood Lance McClain. He had grown a bit since Keith last saw him, muscles now filled out a once lanky and awkward body and he looked more comfortable with himself. His hair was tucked away in a towel and he had on a face mask, seemingly less green than the ones he found in space. Lance’s eyes widened into saucers when he saw Keith standing before him.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was a harsh whisper as he leaned in closer, Keith was almost overwhelmed by everything Lance flooding into his senses.
“Um, surprise?” Was all he could offer.
“Surprise?” He scoffed. “We don’t speak for a year and all you can give me is ‘surprise’? Hell no! I’m closing this door and you’re trying again!”
“What?”
“I’m gonna close this door and open it again, and you better have a damn good explanation why you’re here!” Lance made good on his promise and the door was shut in Keith’s face. Keith’s mind was racing, how could he even begin to explain to Lance what he was doing there? He couldn’t just say his mom made him come, that was pathetic! Lance was the only person who could get him worked up like this.
Suddenly the door opened back up. “Wow Keith! It’s such a surprise to see you, what are you doing here?” Lance deadpanned, looking at him expectantly.
Keith paused for a long moment. What could he even say? Everything that came to mind made him sound pathetic. If Shiro were there he would say something wise about the best thing to say is the truth, so Keith took a deep breath and steeled himself from the onslaught that was sure to come.
“I missed you.” Keith raised his arms to deflect whatever Lance was sure to throw at him, but it never came. He looked up to where Lance was standing still as a statue.
“You missed me?” His voice came out cracked and broken.
“Yeah, all of you, Voltron.” Keith shrugged.
“Yep that’s enough.” Lance pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nice of you to check up on me, but it’s time for you to go.”
Keith had expected this in a way. Of course Lance was going to turn him away, maybe they could talk it out sometime but not during Christmas. He turned to leave when he heard a new voice behind him.
“Lance, who is it?” A female voice asked. Keith turned back to face the inside of the house and saw a woman who looked a little older than Lance coming to the door. Shit this was his sister, why couldn’t he remember her name?
“It’s nobody.” Lance waved him off, Keith felt more hurt about that than he expected.
“Wait a second, is that Keith?” Her eyes turned just as wide as her brother’s had as she slung an arm around Lance. She whispered something to him that Keith didn’t hear, and she was met by a nudge to her ribs. “Keith! What brings you here?”
“Nothing.” Lance tried to push her away. “He was just leaving.”
“What?” She laughed. “You must have come a long way! Come on in!”
“Veronica!”
Keith looked to Lance, waiting for his permission to come inside. He wouldn’t do anything unless Lance said it was okay. “I was just leaving.”
Veronica looked at her brother and smiled in the way Pidge used to when she was about to embarrass Lance to the high heavens. Apparently that look was universal. She yelled something into the house that Keith couldn’t understand, but made Lance’s face turn so red that he could see it through the face mask.
There was more commotion in the house, people were screaming and laughing, and Keith swore he heard someone fall. A commanding female voice spoke up and everyone fell silent, then an older woman came down the hall towards the door. Her brown hair was greying and tied up in a bun, and her kind brown eyes clearly identified her as Lance’s mother.
Before Keith had time to greet her, she had already taken him by the shoulders and kissed both of his cheeks. “You must be Keith! I have heard so much about you!”
“Mom,” Lance groaned, covering his face. “He was just leaving.”
“Nonsense!” She shook her head and ushered Keith inside. “He must have come a long way, at least come in and have dinner!”
Keith looked at Lance apologetically, this was not how he wanted their reunion to go, and he could tell Lance didn’t want it either. Lance was looking at him with an expression Keith could not seem to read.
“Oh wow!” Veronica’s voice broke through Keith’s introspection. She was pointing upwards above their heads, and when Keith followed where she was pointing his heart skipped a beat. Right above his and Lance’s heads was a small sprig of mistletoe. “You guys know the tradition!”
“Jesus Veronica!” Lance whacked his sister and turned back to Keith. “Ignore her, ignore that, just- take off your boots and come inside.”
Keith watched as Lance’s mom spoke to her son quietly, making him sigh and walk down the hall. Veronica was saying something to him, but Keith just couldn’t stop thinking about the mistletoe. It was a stupid thing to get hung up on, it was just a common Christmas tradition, but the thought of him and Lance under the mistletoe made him feel like a teenager again.
His… thing with Lance was complicated. When Keith was just a rookie in the Garrison, he couldn’t help but look at his confident fellow student with admiration. He was too shy to do anything about it, but it would have been foolish for him to deny he thought Lance was cute. In their Voltron days they got closer, close enough where Keith was able to call him a friend. Sure Lance annoyed the hell out of him, he was cocky, flirted too much for his own good, and was one of the loudest people Keith had ever met, but in the small moments where he got to see the real Lance he just fell harder. They had kissed once. They never talked about it again, but the fact it happened was enough to drive Keith insane. This little sprig of mistletoe felt like it was taunting him. He couldn’t just ignore it.
Once his boots were off, Veronica ushered Keith into the living room of the McClain family home, where far more people than Keith had expected were sitting and eating. When Keith entered, they all fell silent. Keith had gotten more used to being under scrutiny in his time in Voltron, but he felt himself shrink under the gaze of Lance’s family. Keith knew how close he was with them, and Lance had probably told them all about their fight. Nobody was talking. This was a nightmare.
Finally, someone spoke up. A younger boy sitting at the feet of who Keith assumed to be his father. “Are you really an alien?”
Keith cringed, of course they knew that. “Uh- yeah. Only half.”
The boy put up his hand and covered half of Keith, shook his head, then covered the other half of him. “What half?”
The boy’s father smacked his hand down. “Sylvio, that’s not how that works! And you can’t just ask people that!”
A woman who looked the most similar to Lance out of the bunch laughed and walked up to Keith. “The real question is are you really Lance’s boyfriend?”
Keith’s face turned bright red and he stuttered as he tried to find an answer. Why would people think he was Lance’s boyfriend? Unless Lance was telling them that, which was very unlikely. Last he heard Lance never wanted to speak to him again!
Before he could make a bigger fool out of himself, Lance rushed back into the living room. His hair was down from the towel and the face mask was washed off. His hair had grown out from the last time Keith had seen him, and it was almost long enough to put in a small ponytail behind his head. The most startling detail was the one that had started their fight in the first place, the light blue Altean marks on his face. It made Keith’s stomach twist.
“Don’t listen to anything they have to say, they’re all crazy and have many mental illnesses.” Lance explained, earning a cacophony of groans and insults from his family. Lance’s mother asked him something in Spanish, which made him roll his eyes. “Okay let me give you a quick run-down of who everyone is.”
Lance pointed to an elderly couple sitting on a couch. “Those are my grandparents, mom’s side. You’ve already met my mom, and my dad is out by the grill.”
He then pointed to the man who was sitting by the kid. “That’s my older brother Luis, he’s married to Lisa, and the two youngest kids are theirs, Sylvio and Nadia.”
Then he pointed to Veronica who was standing beside a man who looked slightly older than Lance. “You know her, she works at the Garrison, and next to her is my other older brother Marco.”
Finally he gestured to the woman who looked most like him. “And that’s my twin, Rachel.”
“I’m older, so he’s the baby of the family!” Rachel grabbed Lance and ruffled his hair.
Keith looked around the family, he couldn’t imagine growing up with all of these people around all the time. Honestly it made him understand Lance a little better. The room was silent for a while as they all looked at Keith expectantly.
“Dude, you have to introduce yourself.” Lance prompted.
“Oh- uh.” Keith scratched the back of his neck. “I’m Keith. Keith Kogane, uh- former paladin of Voltron and current member of the Blade of Marmora.”
The room still was silent, like they were wanting Keith to say more. However he didn’t know if he had any more to say. Thankfully, Lance stepped in to save him. “And second best pilot at the Galaxy Garrison! The first of course being me!”
The room burst into laughter and Keith couldn’t help but laugh with them. It was classic Lance to say that, and he had to admit he missed his humor. A joke like that made Keith feel a bit of normalcy. Made him feel like he and Lance never fought.
Before he could say anything more, a cold drink was pushed into Keith’s hand and he was ushered into a spot on the couch. It was probably the most overstimulating thing he had ever felt. Lance was sitting right beside him as they tried to fit about four people onto a two person couch, and the point where Lance’s thigh touched his felt like it was on fire. Keith mentally cursed himself, he needed to get over this, he thought he was over it. Seeing Lance again reignited this stupid crush, as much as he liked to pretend it went away.
Conversations swam past Keith’s ears, fading into a murmur of white noise. The family mostly spoke to each other in Spanish, but occasionally Lance would remind them they had a guest. Even in English Keith couldn’t keep up, there was just so much happening at once. People were talking over each other, laughing loudly and gasping when it was called for. Keith felt like he was enveloped in a warm blanket, a domestic life he never got to experience. It was bittersweet.
As the conversation grew around him, Keith took the time to look around the living room. It was what he would have expected in any normal family home, something he never got to experience. There was a shabby Christmas tree in the corner and pictures on the walls. Through the pictures Keith could see a family grow, sports games, graduations, weddings, all the things a normal family would go through. Keith’s favorites were the ones of Lance. Lance as a kid playing with his toy space ships, Lance getting his acceptance letter to the Garrison, Lance on his first day. All these pictures just proved that Lance had always dreamed of the stars, that his potential was wasted cooped up on his family farm.
His musings were interrupted by the overwhelming smell of food and a new man walking into the living room. From his dark hair and lanky frame, Keith could tell this was Lance’s father. He shouted something in Spanish that made the rest of the family cheer and get out of their spots. Looking around the room, he paused when his eyes landed on Keith.
“Eh? You’re not one of mine!” He laughed, putting his hands on his hips. “Where did you come from?”
Keith opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Lance. “This is my friend Keith! We were in Voltron together!”
“Ah yes Voltron Keith, the one who kidnapped my son! I’ve heard a lot about you!” Lance’s dad laughed heartily. “I thought you weren’t-”
“Things change.” Lance gestured vaguely, making Keith’s face flush.
“They sure do? Don’t they!” Keith was beginning to understand where Lance got some of his personality from. “Anyway there’s enough food to feed a small army out there, so go help yourself!”
Keith nodded slightly, not knowing exactly what to say. Lance got up off the couch and urged Keith to follow him, leading him to the back yard. If the front yard was covered in Christmas lights, the back yard was a certified party. The trees that surrounded the stone patio glinted like starlight, casting warm shadows across the cobblestone. In the center there was a large fire pit where a whole pig was roasting over. The meat smelled incredible and Keith hadn’t even realized how hungry he was. Music was playing, people were laughing and dancing, and Keith couldn’t help but smile. Of course Lance grew up having Christmases like this one, Keith could tell he had been surrounded by love for his whole life.
“C’mon.” Lance smiled and nudged Keith. “I’ll get you a plate, I’m sure you’ve never had pork like this!”
Keith smiled back and followed him. He wasn’t exactly sure where they stood now, especially after Lance had called him his friend. Keith was sure that their relationship was ruined forever, but now he wasn’t so sure.
A plate of pork, rice, beans and a bunch of other delicious smelling foods was handed to him, and he began to eat. It was exactly as delicious as it smelled, and Keith was once more reminded of how much he had missed Earth. He loved Earth so much, he loved the people, he loved the food, the life, and the culture. Visiting other planets was good and all, but he would always long for Earth. For most of his life he felt no loyalty to Earth, but now when he was away from it so long he missed it like an old friend. Like he did Lance. To him, Lance and the Earth were the same. Fickle, boisterous, and with such a strong gravitational pull that he couldn’t get out. He didn’t want to get out.
Eventually when the food was done and people were so full they no longer could stay on their feet, Lance’s mother stood up and clapped.
“Lovely meal! Now don’t anyone think that they’re getting out of mass!” She said brightly, making almost everyone groan. “Oh don’t be like that! Everyone go and get ready!”
Most of the family began to get up and file back inside, but Lance leaned over to Keith and whispered to him. “You showed up at the right time, you’re my ticket out.”
“Um?” Keith laughed slightly. “You’re welcome?”
Lance only patted Keith’s shoulder as he walked away, Keith’s eyes were glued to him. As he walked over to talk to his mom, Keith could take a moment to truly appreciate him. Lance had always been lanky, but it was clear that he kept up on his training even though he was no longer a paladin. His arms were muscular and his thighs had filled out more than they had in their Voltron days. Keith had always thought he was beautiful, but this older Lance was certifiably handsome. His heart almost stopped when Lance turned back and gave him a thumbs up, breaking into a slight jog back to him.
“Mom says I don’t have to go!” Lance smiled brightly and slung his arm around Keith’s shoulder.
“Oh- uh, great.” Keith smiled slightly. “Go where, exactly?”
“Mass, dude.” Lance raised an eyebrow at him, continuing when Keith gave no sign of understanding. “Midnight mass? Like, church?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Like, Jesus’ birthday party. I forgot you’re a fucking heathen!” Lance rolled his eyes.
“Yeah sorry I don’t believe in a big guy in the sky.” Keith cracked a smile.
“We’ve seen aliens! Who knows what’s out there!” Lance elbowed his side, earning him an elbow right back. For a moment, it almost felt like nothing had changed.
“So, what are we gonna do instead of Jesus’ birthday party?”
The smile fell from Lance’s face and he dropped his arm from his shoulders. He sighed deeply and looked up to the stars. “Uh- well, I was thinking we could talk.”
Keith’s heart sank. Of course he had to go and ruin their truce with his questions, of course Lance wanted to talk. He probably hated him still and was just acting like they were friends in front of his family. “Right…”
“There’s gonna be fireworks.” Lance rocked on his heels and gestured to a hill. “We can see them best from over there.”
Keith nodded and Lance grabbed his arm, guiding him through the fields and up the hill. The warm evening had faded into a slightly chilly night, but the place where Lance’s hand touched Keith’s skin felt like fire. They walked past patches of the bright pink Altean flowers that made Keith’s heart sink. It wasn’t her fault, but why could Keith not stop internally blaming Allura for taking away Lance’s passion? It was easy to blame someone who couldn’t defend herself.
They made it to the top of the hill, and Keith’s breath caught in his throat. From on the hill Keith thought he could see the entire world. The lights of the city were surrounded on one side by sprawling farmland and the ocean on the other, but what was most stunning was the sky. From where they sat the lights of the city didn’t affect the stars at all, they just stretched infinitely into space and reflected onto the ocean. Of course Lance loved the stars.
“I’m sorry.” Lance was first to break the silence. When Keith looked over at him he had sat on the ground, head tilted up to look at the sky.
“Sorry?” Keith joined him on the ground.
“For uh- for our fight.” Lance grimaced.
“I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“But are you?”
Keith thought about it for a second. Was he? “No, no I’m not.”
Lance fell silent, the only sounds were both of their breathing. Keith wished he was sorry, he wished he could be sorry, but he could never apologize for the truth.
“Yeah.” Lance said after what seemed like an eternity of silence. “You’re right, you shouldn’t be sorry, like- god I can’t speak.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, no it’s not.” Lance put his head in his hands. “You called out my bullshit and I didn’t listen and now-”
Keith waited. “Now?”
“I was getting used to it, I was okay with the fact that the rest of my life was going to be like this, but you come back and-”
Keith was trying to be patient, but he felt like they were on the verge of a breakthrough. “And?”
“And you make me realize I’m lonely!” Lance fell onto his back. “I’m so bored, and lonely, and you were right when we fought, and you know how I hate it when you’re right.”
Keith hummed a little. “Wow, I never thought I would see the day where you would admit I’m right.”
“Oh shut up.” Lance pulled out some grass and threw it at Keith. “I’m just lost.”
“Well you know what they say to do when you’re lost.” Keith joined Lance in laying down. “Look at the stars.”
Both of them fell silent and looked up. The stars looked right back at them. The stars had been the only constant in Keith’s life, people would come and go, but he could always count on the stars.
“I wanna go back.” Lance’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Where?”
“Space. The Garrison. I don’t know, I just want to be myself again.”
Keith rolled over so he was looking down at Lance. In the soft light, Keith could see that nothing really had changed. Lance was still the same person he always was, the same person he could rely on. Just like the stars.
“Come with me.” Was out of Keith’s mouth before he could even think about what he was saying.
“What?”
“You can’t join the Blade, but I’m sure if you come with me we can find a place for you. There’s always a place for the second best pilot from the Garrison.”
“Hey!” Lance laughed, sitting up. His gaze softened as he met Keith’s purple eyes. “You mean it?”
“Of course I do.”
Lance had opened his mouth to say something more when he was cut off by the whizzing of a firework. Keith looked over to the city just in time to see it explode. It was beautiful, like little constellations appearing and fading in the blink of an eye. He felt Lance’s head rest on his shoulder as the firework show began, and he couldn’t help but smile. They watched as little illustrations appeared made from the sparks, a Christmas tree, a bell, a gingerbread man, and-
“Mistletoe!” Lance pointed as the firework exploded into a picture of a little plant with white berries.
Keith took a deep breath in and looked over to Lance, seeing his face lit up in the glow. “Lance, I’m not going to ignore it.”
“Huh?” Lance looked over to him with an eyebrow raised. Before he could say more, Keith grabbed his face and brought him into a kiss. It was a rather chaste kiss for how long this had been stirring inside Keith, but he didn’t mind.
Keith pulled back, his face bright red. “I’m sorry-”
“Don’t be sorry, I-” Lance’s mouth gaped as he struggled to find the right words, but they didn’t come. Instead, he just leaned in and kissed Keith again. This kiss was more full, more passionate. This kiss carried the heat of almost a decade of longing between the both of them, and a year of reflection from Lance. It was a kiss that made Keith feel like he did when they formed Voltron for the first time, like everything was falling into place.
“I love you.” Keith mumbled against Lance’s lips. “I have for a very long time.”
Lance did not say anything, but he smiled and pushed Keith into the grass, looking at him with all the wonder he had looked at the stars with. As his lips pressed against Keith’s again, Keith could tell that Lance felt truly at home.