Chapter Text
Yoshiki popped open the chocolate and coffee flavored papico. The scorching summer heat was already effectively melting the ice cream.
The way Yoshiki pronounced that word didn't go unnoticed by Hikaru. He scoffed a little, shaking his head as he removed his own ice-cream from his lips. ‘‘Yoshiki.. Is the heat getting to ya brain?’’ Hikaru razzed. Yoshiki's head would tilt slightly to the right, raising an eyebrow at Hikaru. Yoshiki's face made him snicker a little, clicking his tongue.
‘‘ ’Bee-lieve’, Yoshiki. Does that sound right to you?’’ Hikaru grinned at him, gesturing towards him with his hand. Rookie mistake. Yoshiki could only remain quiet, his eyes averting to the side, bashfully. For a few moments, the only sound around them was the wind and the buzzing of cicadas. Yoshiki did speak up eventually; in a shy manner , and with the papicco still between his lips.
‘‘Did I really say that?’’ His eyes glanced back towards Hikaru, now taking the bottle in his hand. ‘‘I must be exhausted..’’ He spoke, a hint of embarrassment laced in his voice.
‘‘Happens to the best of us.’’ Hikaru brushed it aside, although unease was quickly settling in his chest.
‘‘…So… …You really don’t remember going missing in the mountains for over a week?’’ Hikaru finally asked, not able to contain it any longer.
‘‘Naw, not at all.’’ Yoshiki started, thinking deeply as he put the bottle up to his lips again. It was as though a huge part of his memory was just.. gone. ‘‘It’s been six months, Hikaru. Everything’s alright now.’’
Hikaru’s eyebrows pinched together, wrinkling in the center from the tension. Discomfort settled within his chest.
‘‘What were you even thinking?’’ His lips pulled into a scowl, softly shoving Yoshiki by the shoulder with his palm, not enough to shove him off that bench, but the message was clear enough, he hoped. Does he not have any regard for his life?
‘‘Were you that worried?’’ Yoshiki suddenly asked, eyebrows raising. He almost appeared amused. That gained him a stern look, followed by the twitch of an eye from Hikaru.
‘‘Are you really asking me that?’’ ..Yoshiki’s lips then pressed into a thin line. Hikaru could only sigh in frustration, shaking his head a little before his face fell into a serious gaze.
‘‘Hey.. There’s something I just have to ask.’’ Yoshiki blinked, turning his attention to the shorter boy. ‘‘What’s that?’’
‘‘I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time.. Ever since you’ve came back.. I can’t seem to let this go so..’’ Hikaru could only stare off into the field. Doubt and discomfort spiked in his stomach, gnawing at him. He's been putting this off for the longest time, selfishly wanting to continue living this fantasy. It was almost as if the cicada’s stopped singing for a moment, once he asked him:
‘’You’re not the real Yoshiki, are you?’’
Struck by the question, on reflex Yoshiki squeezed out the leftovers of his papico in shock, sending it flying it across the sandy pathway before them. His eyes were blown wide, inner corners of his eyebrows slanting upwards, and tightly knitted together. ‘‘How…’’ He trailed off, Ice-cream long forgotten by his feet.
‘‘I was suppose.. to replicate him.. perfectly.’’
Hikaru’s own eyes matched Yoshiki’s, gazing into, what he thought, was Yoshiki’s soul, If this creature even had one. Yoshiki’s eye started melting, oozing this swirling black and white goop with crimson in the centre. Looking at it made his head hurt, and it was reaching out to him. His jaw fell open, a choked startled noise escaping from his throat as he scrambled back from this thing, though his hand slipped from the bench, losing his balance and bracing himself for impact with the ground.
But he didn’t.
Yoshiki had a tight grasp around his collar. He was the only thing keeping him upright. Hikaru stared into Yoshiki’s eyes, whom was starting to hyperventilate.
“Hikaru- please.. you can’t tell anybody-‘’ His face contorted into something akin to despair and desperation, squeezing his collar so tightly you could hear the clenching of the fabric within Yoshiki’s grasp.
Hikaru was frozen on the spot, feeling his own breath start to pick up. What made this all the more convincing, was the wetness clinging to Yoshiki’s lashes, threatening to fall. Yoshiki was always emotional, especially back when they were kids. Even when he wept, Yoshiki’s volume would surpass his own.
Even now, even.. this thing.
‘‘This is my first time living as a human.. I love being around you. Going to school, studying, running laps- Everything’s bearable when I’m with you!’’ Yoshiki softly pulled him forward, letting Hikaru settle back on the bench on his own, but his hands never left him.
‘‘This life or personality might not be my own.. but these feelings- they’re real…So please..’’ His hands now rested around Hikaru’s back instead, softly resting his chin on Hikaru’s shoulder.
‘‘Don’t tell anybody.. I’ll.. have to kill you.. If you do…’’
Hikaru took deep breaths in an attempt to control his breathing. His body shook uncontrollably, hands hovering by his sides. He didn’t what possessed him, but he couldn’t let him go, even if he wasn’t the real Yoshiki.
‘‘Okay.. Yoshiki..’’
Memories clouded Hikaru’s mind.
‘‘Watcha gonna do after you’re done with Kibogayam High?’’ Yoshiki asked him one evening. He had to admit, he hadn’t really given it that much thought. He wanted to just live in the moment forever.
‘‘Prolly run my grandpa’s shiitake mushroom farm. How ‘bout you, Yoshiki?’’
Yoshiki averted his gaze for a second, a low hum escaping him. ‘‘I haven’t given it much thought either.’’ He shared, sharing a look with Hikaru.
‘‘Yer smart, so you can just leave this backwater village and go study in Tokyo.’’ Hikaru then began to smirk.
‘‘Or is it that you don’t wanna be away from me?’’ He stifled a laughter behind his hand. ‘‘Tsk, tsk, Yoshiki…’’
‘‘How ‘bout you just go to hell, then?’’ Yoshiki huffed, leaning back a little before sighing. ‘‘If I do go to Tokyo for university, I’ll be living all on my own.’’ He’d fantasize, eyebrows perking up a bit.
‘‘Sounds nice, wish I could do that.’’ A small pout pulled at his lips as his attention turned back to the game.
‘‘If I do find myself endin’ up in Tokyo needin’ crap, I’ll head on over to your place. Besides, I hate public restrooms. I just can’t do my business with people around.’’
Yoshiki quirked an eyebrow, looking at Hikaru. ‘‘You literally used to shit outside, though.’’
‘‘Yeah, when I was three. Though I’m sure I could still do 't.’’
Yoshiki scoffed. ‘‘Hah, ya think?’’ ‘‘Well, If ya don’t want me to do that, then your place’ll just have to be my spot for leaving a dookie.’’ Yoshiki’s face pulled into a grimace. ‘‘The hell it does.’’
Hikaru then paused the game, turning to Yoshiki.
‘‘Or maybe I’ll just hang around at your place all the time. You could have a girlfriend and all but you’ll never get to bring her home cuz I’ll be around.’’ He’d grin, although Yoshiki just appeared to be sulken. ‘‘I ain’t getting no girlfriend.’’ He clicked his tongue, eyebrows pinching together.
‘‘Awe, c’mon. You always get sore whenever we talk about girls.’’ He turned his head away, gritting his teeth a little.
‘‘…I bet you could get yourself a girlfriend.’’
Before he could even blink, he found himself ‘membering yet another memory.
‘‘Yoshiki! Oi!’’ He’d tap his friend on the shoulder, a soft startled noise escaping his throat as he turned around. ‘‘Ay… Hikaru.. Don’t do that.’’ Yoshiki softly swatted his hand away, turning over to face him. ‘‘What is it?’’
‘‘Well- 'bout this weekend-’’ He started. They’ve been planning to have a master x master marathon over the weekend, with snacks, and watermelon, of course. Yoshiki interrupted him though.
‘‘Ah.. about that.. I’m gonna- have to cancel.. Hikaru.. I’m goin’ to the mountains.’’
Hikaru raised an eyebrow, tilting his head at him with a slight quirk to his lip in confusion. What could he possible be doing there? ‘‘Huh? What for?’’
‘‘Tha’s for me to know, and for you to find out.’’ Yoshiki smiled softly at him. His eyes were barely visible through those long bangs of his. The amount of times he just wanted to brush those aside, he couldn’t count on one hand.
‘‘Ugh, c’mon Yoshiki.’’
‘‘Haha! No can do, no can do, Hikaru.’’
Hikaru awoke with a gasp, jolting awake, literally. His head hurt from the fast movement, clutching it in his hand as he felt the pain spreading all around.
“A dream..’’ Was all he could utter, grasping at his shirt with his other hand, so tighty his knuckles would turn white. ‘He couldn’t even give me a proper answer, that fool.’
He flopped back down on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling before him. A shaky sigh escaped his lips, bringing an arm up to his head and covering his eyes with his forearm. “Yoshiki..’’
And yet, he still cycled to his ‘former’ best friends house. The loud buzzing of cicadas rang in his ears, and the sun was all too bright for him. He absolutely hated getting up early in the morning. Cycling together was a habit just too hard to break, even after everything. Once he arrived, it was as though Yoshiki had been waiting for him, standing by the open door. He came to a halt, stepping half down from the bike and balancing on his right foot.
‘‘Let’s get goin'.’’ He spoke up. Yoshiki quickly made his way to his bike,
Yoshiki swiftly made his way to his bike, unlocking it and hopping on it. They swiftly cycled to school.
Hikaru jolted awake as someone shook him by the shoulder. A snore died down in his throat, frantically looking around him, just to be met with Yoshiki's presence.
‘‘Mmm what..?’’ He spoke up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
‘‘You're missin' the movie.’’ Spoke Yoshiki, slowly removing his arm from the others shoulder. Hikaru could almost say Yoshiki was pouting.
‘‘Yeah, I am.. like I always am while watching this movie..’’
‘‘Ya don't like it?’’ He'd dare to ask, which drew a groan from Hikaru. ‘‘Yoshiki, we've seen this movie like 5 times already. Don't tell me you're actually watchin' this..’’ He turned to look at him, just to be met with a serious gaze. ‘‘I want the female character to have a happy ending with the one she loves.’’
‘‘And she will. You know that.’’ Hikaru groaned, laying his head down in his elbows again, although this time he was focussed on Yoshiki. Yoshiki.
Yoshiki looked deep into his eyes, though it almost appeared as though he was looking through him.
Perhaps there was something more serious going on that he couldn't grasp.
Hikaru sat at his assigned desk seat, munching on his fried rice and katsu bento that his mama packed for him that morning. He took a bite of the katsu, chewing absent-mindedly. He didn't go to the courtyard with his friends that day. All he could think about was yesterday. For six whole months, he suspected that there was more to his best friend, but for the longest time, he only assumed there was something going on with him mentally. Yoshiki was often a little gloomy, so depression wasn't a far fetched guess. He always tried his best to cheer him up, whenever he noticed. He was hoping he was wrong, that his conclusion was just a stretch. He never expected this to be a far bigger problem.
His thoughts were interrupted by the scraping of a chair and a figure sitting in the seat besides him, hands neatly clasped together in his lap and his own bento box resting in the centre of the table, unpacked. He was so hung up on this he failed to notice the others footsteps until he was right next to him. It was silent for a moment, unbearably too silent. It made Hikaru feel uneasy. Once he turned his head, Yoshiki was already looking his way. It made Hikaru pause his chewing as their eyes locked for a moment. He never understood what people meant by ‘feeling bare’ when they're stared at, until this moment.
‘‘Wha-?’’ Hikaru broke the silence with a full mouth.
Yoshiki appeared to be ashamed or embarrassed, quickly whipping his head to his own bento. It made Hikaru shake his head in perplexity, his eyebrows knitting together as he finally swallowed. The thing began to unwrap the elastic band from the box and popping it open, It swiftly began to chow down on his rice. It didn't say a word again for his whole meal.
Yoshiki didn't fail to notice the way those sun rays washed over Hikaru's delicate complexion. His gaze carried a cool clarity of light smoke, shifting like fog catching sunlight, He felt oddly intimidated by his gaze. It made something twist deep within him. Something he didn't quite understand.
Once school ended for the day, Yoshiki and Hikaru made a stop at 711. Yoshiki vividly remembered the taste and texture of menchi katsu. He liked it more than he could remember. An audible ‘mmm’ escaped him as he munched away.
‘‘Does 't taste the same?’’
That question made Yoshiki perk up, a confused hum escaping him, still chewing. ‘‘Ya'know.. The katsu..?’’ Hikaru trailed off, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment wash over him, though he'd quickly rinse that off with another question. ‘‘Do you experience taste the same?’’
Oh.
Right.
Yoshiki finally swallowed, licking his lips before lowering the snack. ‘‘Well.. I 'member how it tastes, but It's sorta.. Ya remember when you used to dislike somethin', or at least be neutral 'bout something while you're younger, but now ya don't mind it so much? It's sort of like that, only now, I like it, rather than bein' neutral about it.’’ He thought deeply about it as he spoke. That was the closest comparison he could possible get to.
‘‘It's new to me.’’ He spoke, almost bitterly.
‘‘Is that so?’’ The left side of Hikaru's lip pulled back a little, eyebrows furrowing together. So this thing has Yoshiki's real memories?
His thoughts were interrupted by an audible meow. Hikaru looked down, eyes meeting with a white, big bellied cat.
‘‘Big brother, Mince.’’ Yoshiki spoke up eyes radiant at the little cats sudden appearance. he leaned down to pet the kitty, though Mince's eyes grew huge, tail puffing up and the fur on his back standing on end as he arched it into a big curl. He hissed loudly at him before scampering off into the alley. ‘‘Ohh..’’
Hikaru's eyes lingered on the alley Mince scampered of to, before his gaze turned back on Yoshiki. Could cats sense the super natural? Could Mince feel Yoshiki's bad energy, and therefore he hissed at him? For a usually calm cat, being startled so easily was a bad sign.
Their walk home was slow. The bright, blinding orange hue of the setting sun made Hikaru lift up an arm to cover his eyes while they walked. Yoshiki came to a halt, appearing to be admiring a dragon fly. ‘‘It's a summer darter.’’ He shared, although Hikaru tilted his head, quirking an eyebrow. ‘‘Ain't that species usually in autumn?’’
Yoshiki shook his head. ‘‘It's an Natsu-Akane, the one you're thinking of is a Akiakane, an autumn darter.’’ Hikaru remained silent, although, Yoshiki took that as an invitation to continue.
‘‘Summer darters are often smaller, and they ain't have the same patterning that autumn darters do.’’
Hikaru could only hum in acknowledgement, lips pulling into a scowl. It looks like Yoshiki, and it acts just like him. Are bugs even the monsters passion, or is it still trying to be someone it cannot? He desperately wanted to find out.
His thought process was successfully interupted by a wailing siren.
More like the wails of a distressed elderly woman. ‘‘The- The brain snatcher has descended from the mountain!’’
‘What was up with this lady?’ Hikaru thought, making an attempt to keep on walking, but old lady Matsuura began absolutely screaming her head off.
‘‘STAY AWAY!! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!’’ The door promptly slammed behind her as she rushed into her home. You could hear an audible click of a lock. Yoshiki stared at the old ladies doorstep, brows tightly pinching together.
‘‘What was that all about..?’’ Yoshiki turned to look at Hikaru, but his friend was already on his merry way, earning a soft gasp from Yoshiki as he scampered after him with his bike.
‘‘Hikaru..! Wait up..!’’ He quickly made it back to his best friends side. That lady made something else twist within him. It wasn't the same like whenever he met gazes with Hikaru. Whenever that was the case, his abdomen would flutter and he could feel something akin, to what you'd call, your heart skipping a beat. Only, Yoshiki didn't have a heart.
This lady, made knots tie itself in his stomach, a burning sensation within his chest cavity. It made his fists clench, nails digging into his palms to a painful degree, at least to humans.
Hikaru finally had dropped him off at his house, stepping up on his bike and setting one foot on the paddle. Yoshiki parked his bike, waving him off with a soft.
‘‘See you.’’ But Hikaru couldn't go home just yet. This question had been burning at the back of his head ever since recess. He couldn't help the way he just blurted out:
‘‘Yoshiki's dead, ain't he?’’ He spat out, almost like an accusation.
That made his ‘friend’ turn over, locking eyes with him. He didn't make a sound for a moment, seemingly thinking of what to say. ‘‘He's.. he's gone.’’ He confessed
That made something boil within his stomach ‘‘So- you..’’ ‘‘No! I-I didn't!’’ Yoshiki fully turned around to face him this time, hands hovering by his sides anxiously.
‘‘He was on his last breath when I discovered him. I promise.’’
Yoshiki suspected that he's always been roamin' the mountains for as long as he could imagine.
‘‘I've.. I think I've always been there, in the mountains. Unfeeling, like some sort of machine. Then when Yoshiki died, that's when I woke up and saw what happened..’’ He confessed, earnestly.
‘‘Then.. how do you feel about me?’’ At this angle, the sun warmed Hikaru's complexion in a way it partially shadowed the left side of his face, with a darkness. The rays highlighted a wetness coating Hikaru's eyeballs. Yoshiki remembered Hikaru as someone who was never emotional. Someone who never cried. Perhaps that was because he himself, was crying far much louder than he was. Call it twisted and messed up, but Yoshiki thought Hikaru looked absolutely mesmerizing. The way droplets clung onto his long white eyelashes for dear life, it was as though a fire was blazing within his abdomen, although, it was far lower than his abdomen.
Yoshiki's hands reached out to clutch the fabric of his shirt. An audible clench echo'ed through the summer air, and his knuckles would turn white from how hard his hand was clasped around blouse. The inner corners of his eyebrows were slanting upwards, while his cheeks flushed a soft red and not because of the summer heat. His eyes conveyed something Hikaru couldn't exactly describe. Desperation? Admiration?
‘‘I'm crazy about you.’’ Yoshiki sighed breathlessly.
Even Yoshiki, was never this sober about his feelings.
‘‘Go inside Yoshiki..’’ Hikaru barked, bikes tires screeching against the surface of the path as he rapidly cycled home.
That same night at Matsuura's residence, frantic slams collided with her door. ‘‘Ms. Matsuura? I've got a delivery for you.’’ An otherworldly voice spoke from the other end of the door, echo'ing through the night.
‘‘Ms. Matsuura-? ’’
‘‘Wahh!! Argh- I'm not opening it..!’’ Old Lady Matsuura cried out, desperately clinging onto the blanket she was huddled under.
‘‘Helloooo..? Ms. Matsuura?’’Growled the deep voice. ‘‘You're here, aren't ya? Wouldn't it be best of you If I handed over this package..? MATSUURA!!!’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURAAAA!’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURAAA’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURAAAA’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURAAA!!!!!’’. ‘‘MS.MATSUURA!!’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURA!!’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURA’’ ‘‘MS.MATSUURAAA!!!’’. ‘‘MS.MATSUURAAA!’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURA’’ ‘‘MS.MATSUURAA!!’’ ‘‘MS.MATSUURAAAA’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURAAA!!!!’’ ‘‘MS.MATSUURAA’’
‘‘MS.MATSUURA!!!!’’
‘‘EEEK!!! Don't come in!!!’’
‘‘Ms. Matsuura. I'm already inside.’’