Chapter Text
“MORTAL!”
The door to Ibuki’s dorm room was slammed open. In the doorway stood two figures. The taller of the two had a loud booming voice, while the shorter stood quietly and politely.
“Mioda-san! We would Like to ask you a question. How-”
“HOW DO YOU WRITE SUCH DEVILISHLY DESPAIR-INDUCING SPELLS OF SPEECH!? I COULD ONLY THINK THAT YOU MUST BE A SORCERESS!” Gundham interjected.
The girl sitting at her desk turns to face the duo, a puzzled look appearing on her face.
“Ibuki is not a sorceress silly, Ibuki just lets the words flow out of every fiber on her body! Whatever that means!”
“What fibers do you speak of?” Sonia asked.
“I dunno! I just made it up!” Ibuki said excitedly, with a big smile on her face. “I also use inspiration from the world around me! Like… that time Fuyuhiko-Kun cut open his stomach with a knife!?”
-
The day had been going well. It was a warm spring morning where for the first time in a while everyone had showed up to class. No one was more pleased by this than Yukizome-Sensei.
“Oh Isn’t this just amazing! I didn’t even have to body slam any of you this morning!” She cried with a gleaming smile, “This is just incredible!”
“Maybe the ultimates will finally be able to get along! Doesn’t it just fill you with so much hope?” A boy in the middle of the room spoke up.
“Shut up! You’re a fucking freak, Soggy Toe! Nobody likes you!” Hiyoko screeched from the front corner.
“SAIONJI! We do not speak that way to our fellow classmates!” Chisa screams.
“Everything is fine Yukizome-Sensei! I am just a worthless lucky student surrounded by true ultimates! It is only fair that I-”
“Can you just quit your yapping! God, you’re so annoying!” The short boy with a buzzcut groaned from across the room.
“Can we all please settle down now students,” Chisa said calmly.
“‘Hate to be disrespectful Yukizome-Sensei, but I’m pretty sure half of the class has been nappin’ for the past 15 minutes” The boy with pink hair adds.
“Oh dear,” The teacher mumbles, her mood lowering by the second.
“It’s probably because of that zestfest over there giving us all lectures about ‘hope’ and how much he loooooooves men.” Hiyoko complains. “Like, seriously, I get he’s lucky, but he can NOT get away with being such a SNOOZE-fest.”
“Yeah… besides the snoozefest stuff, maybe he should limit the talk about his reserve course crush. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the program, but come ON dude! We. get. It. You’re a hopeless romantic” Fuyuhiko added.
“You can’t be talking about ‘hopeless romance’. Literally everyone has figured out that yo-” Hiyoko snapped back, before getting interrupted.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PIG!” Fuyuhiko yelled. “If you don’t shut your mouth I will have you dead by sundown. They won't find your body until 2 weeks later floating down the river. The cause of death will be unknown.”
“I know you’re whole thing is… that… but maybe we should calm down with the name calling and the… the death threats? If you are the Ultimate Yakuza, wouldn’t you know to not announce to the whole world what you’re gonna do? We need to regroup as a class, otherwise I will beat your ass. You better start being nice to each other, unless you want to see your dead mother. Imma become a poet, if you dont be nice to each other imma show it!” Chisa said proudly.
“That was the corniest shit I’ve ever heard.” Kazuichi muttered.
“You mere mortal of such an advanced age know not what it takes to be one with the youthful blood.” Gundham stated.
The quiet silver haired girl in the back of the class simply nodded an affirmative.
“Oh…!” Chisa exclaims in embarrassment. “Why is that…?”
“Excuse me! Yukizome-Sensei! I believe it is time to start class! We must wake everyone up, shouldn’t we!” The angelic blonde princess, Sonia Nevermind said. She comes from a small war country and has known how to drive a tank since grade school. Has she done things that could tarnish her sweet reputation? Heavens yes. Has anyone found out about these said “things” yet? Heavens no! So they never happened.
“I agree with Miss Sonia! Completely, utterly, and completely with my whole heart and soul agree. We MUST start class this instant, for that is what Miss Sonia decreed!” Kazuichi exclaimed, utterly in love.
Normally Fuyuhiko would be the first to make a remark on his creepiness, but he seemed to be staring strangely at his hands, something clearly bothering him. Naturally, Ibuki saw her opportunity and took it.
“Soda… what the fuck.”
“Hey! I was simply agreeing with Miss Sonia!” the shark-toothed boy defended.
“I sure you were!” Komaeda Exclaimed sarcastically. ”You ultimates are so funny!”
“What does that even mean?” Hiyoko stared at him blankly, too confused for an insult.
“Often, I choose to simply ignore the foolish words of mortals such as the luck-stricken one. It is for your best interest that you shall follow in the footsteps of the Supreme Overlord of Ice!” Gundam bellowed proudly.
“I think I just lost 10 years off my life,” The girl looked even more befuddled than before.
“CLASS! Settle down before you all get detention or something like that!” Ms. Yukizome exclaimed. “I don’t want to have to resort to methods like that.”
“So then… don’t?” Hiyoko stated, still confused. “Like, do you want to punish us or not?”
The rest of the class murmured in agreement or snored. No in-between. Everyone sat there for a few minutes in silence. Of course, silence is hard to keep when you have an ultimate musician in the room—especially one with undiagnosed ADHD. Peace and quiet, were never Ibuki Mioda’s style.
“Ibuki hates the quiet!” She exclaimed while pulling a guitar case out of thin air. Then she… played.
“OH MY GOD. ARE YOU SURE SHE’S THE ULTIMATE MUSICIAN?” Hiyoko screamed.
The whole classroom was shaking violently. Almost ask violent as Nekomaru taking a god-sized shit. The school never recovered from the day they served beans in the cafeteria.
“I HAVE TO CONFESS BEFORE I DIE… I LOVE YOU MISS SONIA!” Soda exclaimed.
“We aren’t going to DIE!” A tired voice from the back said. “As you class rep, please let us sleep. Everyone wants a peaceful Monday morning.”
Ibuki stopped when she realized the whole class was wide awake. Except for Chiaki, but that’s as awake as you can get her.
“Now we can start class. Thank… you Ibuki, I… suppose?” Ms. Yukizome said. “So today… how about we discuss what exactly we hate about Mondays?”
“Everything…” a quiet voice from the back said. It was Mikan, the ultimate Nurse! How do you find out a 16-year-old is the best nurse to exist? Nobody knows, ask her.
“I hate everything about you you stupid, ugly, pig.” Hiyoko insulted the poor girl.
“HIYOKO! What is up with you today? You are so close to getting detention.” Ms. Yukizome yelled. “You need to stop, we’re supposed to be a community! Not jerks to each other. Isn’t that what families do?”
“No offense Ms. Yukizome… but our class has a swordswoman, a yakuza boss, a gymnast, a perverted chef who could sneak anything into our food, an almost grown man who thinks he is an icelord, an undiagnosed ADHD “musician” who just hates silence and peace, a 16 year old going on 30 who keeps crapping and ruining our school’s prestigious plumbing, a gamer girl who go into the best school in the world because she beat Mario Brothers, an animator who shouldn’t be able to fit in a desk chair, a luck and hope-obsessed fruity freak, a pretty and seemingly-naive princess, a guy that will inevitably get arrested if he ever steps foot near said princess after we graduate, and a FATASS PIG who falls so damn much she shouldn’t be medically qualified. This is not a healthy or functional family.”
“I believe you failed to mention one student other than yourself…” Ms. Yukizome said, wondering if she noticed the mistake.
“Well duh, Mahiru-Ane is the only functional one here other than me!” Hiyoko rolled her eyes. “You guys just kinda suck more than us.”
The bell rang for lunch before anyone could respond. The previous conversation was not out of the normal, especially for Hiyoko.
The students quickly made their way out of the classroom, but two students stayed behind.
Peko and Fuyuhiko stood at the back of the classroom. Chisa stared at them with a slight worry. These two weren’t usually the type to stay back after class.
Fuyuhiko motioned for Peko to leave, so she left without hesitation. Still, Fuyuhiko swore he saw a slight hint of concern before she turned away.
Chisa watched as the younger boy walked up to her and bowed his head.
“I’m sorry,” He said. It sounded like his voice was cracking. “You- You were right. I’m careless. There’s no way I could ever live up to my title if I do not think about my actions more carefully. Still, I fear that words may not be enough to express this,” He falls to his knees.
“Kuzuryu,- there no reason to be-”
Blade pierces flesh. Blood runs onto the lenolium floor. Yukizome takes a step back.
“Ummm-! They don’t teach you this in the staff training! They kinda just expect that none of the ultimates would try to commit teh ultimate suicide! Who do I call for this! Uh-! Don’t move!”
At that same moment, Ibuki realized that she had left her Guitar in the classroom. She skipped back to the classroom, but when she opened the door she saw something she would never be able to unsee.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!”
Blood dripped in a pool around Fuyuhiko’s quivering body. Yukizome ran out of the classroom to try to find someone to help.
Peko heard screaming and rushed into the room to try and help. “Oh my…” was all she could let out. “Young Master,” she said under her breath. She had to fight back her tears.
A few more students walked into the room. Peko was kneeling by Fuyuhiko’s side with her hand on his shoulder.
“OUT OF THE WAY!” Chisa screamed at she lead Mikan through the room, towards the bleeding man.
“Oh my God- There’s blood everywhere!” Mahiru exclaimed as she steped into the room.
Then it hit ibuki. Oh My God, There’s Blood Everywhere.
Ibuki quickly ran back to her room and immediatly got to work. She sat downa t her desk and opened up her notebook.
The words flew out of her brain so fast her hands couldn’t keep up. She wrote words and scratched them out then rewrote them in a different order, over and over, until she had the perfect song. All that was left was to add the music!
-
“-And that’s basically what happened!”
“Uhh- sorceress, I fear there may have been a few mistakes within your great tale,” Gundam said, tilting his head like a puppy.
“Yeah, yeah! But Ibuki got it mostly right, so everythings fine!”
The princess perked up, “Uh- most of that story was incorrect, but I shall let it slide. I still want to hear more of your stories on how you wrote your songs!”
“Woah- woah- woah-!” A voice came from the doorway. “That is NOT what happened!”
Now inside of Ibuki’s room stood the man in question himself, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu.
“That was not just about a tiny comment that Yukizume-Sensei had made!” He stated.
“Wait- how long have you been listening to us?” Ibuki asks cautiously.
“Like the whole time,” Gundam gives him a look, “What!? I heard my name!”
“If it wasn’t about the comment the Yukizome-Sensei made in class, then what was it?” Princess Sonia asked cautiously.
Fuyuhiko seemed to fidget with his hands for a moment, “I never,” He paused. “I never said that it wasn’t because of what she said-” He paused again. “I said it wasn’t just because of the comment that Yukizome-Sensei made.”
“There seems to be something bothering you deeply, mortal,” Gundam said with as close to a sympathetic face as he could muster.
“Just… family stuff,” He says, leaning on the chair that Ibuki was sitting in.
Ibuki immediately turned around and hugged the boy as hard as she could.
Click
Sonia whips around as fast as she can. “I’m starting to think that Saionji-San may be right about the stalking charges.”
Gundham turns around and immediately starts to chase the pink-haired boy in the doorway while chanting some sort of curse or something.
“Hey, Sonia! Ibuki guesses you still want to hear the stories! If so, you can come back after class tomorrow! You can come too Fuyuhiko-Kun!”
“I would love to!” Sonia says excitedly.
Fuyuhiko chuckles and nods his head.