Work Text:
Arvin, with his hunched shoulders, reads on his thick, hardbound book, a book he had to borrow from the library since he cannot afford to buy a copy, not right now. He is sitting outside, near the trash bin, by the steps of the restaurant where he works. He doesn’t mind the foul smell, he’s focused on the book. He needs to at least read a page, just for a few more minutes, before his “smoke break” is up.
His boss, Ziggy, watches him by the door. He knows that Arvin attends law school during his off hours. Arvin did not disclose it and Ziggy did not question either.
With an air of authority, Ziggy orders Arvin. “Back to work.”
Arvin stares back, with a hint of disdain, at Ziggy, saying nothing.
Ziggy observed him enough to know that he’s a law student.
Arvin has been working for about four months already in his restaurant, and it was enough for Ziggy to notice.
Arvin serves with his slumped shoulders, as if instead of a tray of plates, he had been carrying the weight of the world.
His dragging walk, forcing himself as he tries to make his way across, from one table to another.
His eyes, although covered by the lenses of his glasses, the dark circles underneath it can still be seen. And a look.
A look that Ziggy cannot comprehend.
It puzzles Ziggy. Arvin is not the only server at his restaurant. He is not the only working student that he had hired. There had been more before Arvin.
And it puzzles Ziggy.
As Arvin’s shift comes, Ziggy would often find himself excited. Ziggy reasoned that it’s because Arvin’s presence brings in a more vibrant atmosphere in his restaurant. Maybe because the thought of having a worker come in during the busy day, another helping hand, is definitely welcome. There’s no other reason, Ziggy believes.
There are times that Ziggy would find himself staring at the dragging, hunched figure for a little too long. Sometimes, another worker would have to catch his attention away from Arvin.
“Sir.” Arvin calls out to Ziggy, noticing that his boss had been staring at him for a while now. “Is there something wrong?” A worried expression is drawn on Arvin’s weary face.
Sometimes, Arvin himself had to catch Ziggy’s attention away from the stares.
Ziggy gets caught up with what he’s doing and sorts himself out for a few seconds.
“Nothing.” Ziggy starts. “I just noticed that you looked more exhausted today.” Ziggy adds, trying his best not to sound too concerned.
Arvin brushes his hair up. “Was it too noticeable?” He had been too tired these past few days with the demands of being a law student. “Should I start to cover my eyebags up?” Arvin began to stammer, worried that his outward appearance would be off-putting to the customers.
It’s not your appearance. Ziggy wanted to say this thought out loud.
“Just…” Ziggy took this chance to get a little closer to his employee and look for a few seconds at Arvin’s chiseled face. The eyeglasses that he wears cannot cover up the discolored bags under his eyes. But it does not matter. Arvin’s face, with his thick brows, perfectly shaping his small, rounded eyes, his sharp prominent nose in between, and his thin lips, pinkish… and looking so kissable.
Ziggy shook his head at the last thought. “It does not matter.” Ziggy looked away and walked quickly towards the kitchen.
—
A few more months came by and Arvin’s shift lessened, while Ziggy’s thoughts of Arvin increased.
Ziggy didn’t know when he started thinking of Arvin that way. He just noticed Arvin, his employee. There’s no reason to notice such an employee, he’s just like any other employee.
It’s appalling. Ziggy despises himself for having such thoughts. Thinking about Arvin, why he cannot come to work, if he’s doing well at school, or if he’s… eating well. With a resolve, Ziggy swore to make a nice meal for Arvin someday. Maybe when he has reached his dream, when their relationship can be more than an employer and an employee. When he can face his unnamed feelings he’s been having the past few months, someday.
Ziggy mused as he waited for Arvin to come, but several minutes had already passed for his supposed shift. Arvin won’t be coming in today, again.
Imagine Ziggy’s surprise when a few more minutes later, a familiar dragging walk, with his small, slumped figure, walked slowly towards him.
Noticing Arvin’s reddened cheeks and dull eyes, Ziggy cannot help but be bothered.
As Arvin’s boss, Ziggy knows that there are lines that cannot be crossed. He had given his subordinate plenty of chances, knowing Arvin’s circumstances, which is something he would not exactly do for any other employees.
“You should not come in if you’re feeling tired and sluggish.” Ziggy pointedly said, worried and concerned about his subordinate’s health.
Ziggy wanted to badly touch the back of his hand to Arvin’s forehead. If it was any other person, Ziggy would not hesitate. But, he’s Arvin.
And, what if the person is Arvin?
Why exactly is Ziggy hesitating?
“But…” it was my shift today. Arvin wanted to continue his reason or excuse, he doesn’t really know. Arvin knows that his health is not the best at the moment, and the way that his boss, Ziggy, was looking at him, probably disturbed that he showed up sick, wanting to serve the customers still.
“Go home and rest. You do not look too well today.” Ziggy said as Arvin was not able to come up with anything. “I’ll give you consideration for showing up today.” Ziggy continued on.
Ziggy knows of Arvin’s unease, especially in his presence. It shows in his body. The way his voice would quiet down, his already hunched posture becoming more slumped, with his head down, looking at the floor, making Arvin feel smaller than he already is. And Ziggy loathes that habit of his. He knows how hardworking Arvin is. He knows that Arvin deserves better than him, who is someone born with a golden spoon, someone who had opportunities handed down to him. Ziggy can only feel guilt, for even daring to look at Arvin, and harboring feelings he cannot quite comprehend. Not now, at the least.
“…Thank you.” Arvin said softly while clenching his jaw, looking away from Ziggy, and onto his feet, feeling small, having his pride dented. He does not want pity, especially Ziggy’s. Arvin knows that he already had too many lapses on his part. With all this, he got off with only a slap on the wrist. How can he dare feel contempt for Ziggy’s concern masked with apprehension?
What can he do? Arvin can’t help but be grateful.
He cannot do anything right now but Arvin would surely pay back Ziggy’s kindness in the near future. His dreams of becoming a lawyer are already at his arm’s lengths. For once, he felt assurance, he’d be a worthy person someday. Someone who’s important enough to eat and be treated well as a customer at this fine restaurant. Someone Ziggy can consider as a friend. Someday.
—
Arvin’s bar reviews are coming up fast and the first thing that came to his mind was to let Ziggy know that he cannot be contacted for the time being during his hotel arrest.
Ziggy had been a big help during the past few months. Arvin is not quite sure if deserves such treatment but without Ziggy’s subtle help, he does not know if he can even graduate from law school on time.
One such situation came to Arvin’s mind, when he was supposed to lock up the restaurant during one of his shifts.
Arvin was the only one left at the restaurant and he decided to study for a bit. His classes for the night were cancelled and he had a bit more time to kill.
He sat in one of the chairs and put some of his readings on the table. He read and wrote a few things but exhaustion is coming up to him.
Just a few minutes of rest and I’ll get back. Arvin crossed his arms on the table and rested his head above it, closing his eyes for just a moment.
What Arvin didn’t know was that Ziggy had come back to the restaurant.
Ziggy was pleasantly surprised to see Arvin. He had thought that no one would be at the restaurant anymore as it had been a few hours already since the closing time.
Looking at the sleeping figure of Arvin gave Ziggy warm feelings, realizing he can freely look at Arvin without him noticing. Arvin looked peaceful sleeping, his exhaustion still evident, but he must be comfortable enough at Ziggy’s restaurant to consciously take a rest there. Ziggy smiled at that thought. At least, a remnant of him can help ease Arvin’s exhaustion and provide a place to rest. Though, most of the time, it was one of the reasons for his restlessness. What an irony.
Ziggy let him sleep some more. Arvin looked like he badly needed the rest. For the meantime, Ziggy went to the kitchen to make a coffee for Arvin. He had noticed that Arvin likes his coffee with two teaspoons of sugar and nothing else. Very fitting for him, earnest with a hint of softness.
Ziggy knows he’ll still be studying after he wakes up, and he puts down the cup of coffee at Arvin’s table. Ziggy takes what he needs and leaves quickly as quietly as possible.
Arvin was roused from his sleep when Ziggy left. He stretches and looks at the time, an hour and a half had already passed. And, a cup of coffee was set in front of him. From the cup, a specialty cup bought overseas, he already knows that it was Ziggy who prepared it. He sheepishly smiled at the thought. Ziggy had shown nothing but kindness to him, he cannot wait to give it back.
At the present time, a day before his hotel arrest, Arvin went early to the restaurant, catching Ziggy sweeping the floor.
“I’ll be having my hotel arrest for my bar exam review.” Arvin starts. He looked up to meet Ziggy’s eyes.
He continued, “Here is the contact number of my professor, if you need to get in touch with me.” Arvin gives a piece of paper to Ziggy, and Ziggy reaches out.
An accidental touch. A brush of the fingers with each other. For a moment, there was a lingering warmth.
Arvin smiled genuinely, “Thank you for the past few months.” It was a short time and he was tired most of the time, but this place had been a witness to how he strived in doing his best.
Ziggy nodded. With how meek Arvin is, it has the opposite effect on Ziggy’s turbulent feelings. He had already known it, a long time ago, when it first manifested itself. But his denial was stronger than understanding what he felt.
He won’t probably see Arvin for a long time. Maybe it’s better this way. Things will go back to the way it used to be. His monotone way of living.
“Let’s not meet each other again.” Ziggy straightforwardly says, staring back at Arvin’s eyes. Was that a hint of shock that he saw? Ziggy saw how Arvin’s eyes darken as he clenched his jaw. Was he upset? But why?
Maybe…
No, he must not entertain even a hint of hope, but he already did, a long time ago.
Arvin nodded back at Ziggy, clenching his fists. He does not know why but he’s feeling irritated at what Ziggy said. To say that he was disappointed would not suffice. He knows that they live in different worlds but to not see each other again is just too much.
Arvin looked at Ziggy. From his head to toe. He is taller than him, bigger than him. A fit and toned body, a skin that does not have an ounce of dirt, an aura of confidence surrounding him, all the time. With the way he stands up straight, staring down at Arvin, staring down at his employee. Arvin smirks at his own thoughts.
…Only an employee.
His stares had always made Arvin feel smaller than he already is. Maybe it’s better this way. Of course, this is the way that things should be.
Ziggy looked at the retreating back of Arvin.
Arvin did not spare a second glance back at Ziggy.
They both thought, it’s better this way. It’s better to not see him again.