Chapter Text
It was a rare moment Tamtey could catch her breath. It seemed all she did was hunt down the RDA one after the other, chasing down their next demented project and the next and the next.
Amay, her bonded, growled softly from behind her, nudging her shoulder gently. They were laying together on top of The Lone Zakru, above the camp now taking down the races and targets of the Great Games. The Zakru birthing ceremony was going well, but everyone was on edge. Talking about putting up defenses, contingency plans in case the RDA commit another one of their terrible acts.
Breathing deeply, Tamtey tried to release the weight in her chest, listening to the banner above her flapping in the constant wind of the Plains. She needed to fly more, clear her head, but for now the Ri’nela’s question rang through her head like an RDA alarm, dull panic included.
“Will you be our olo’eykte?”
The clan leader? How could she be a leader? Her whole schtick was being a ghost, unseen before she strikes. A leader must be present and know the answers to all the questions. How did Ri’nela do it? Take on a role that she had no example to aspire to?
Gut clenching, she thought to herself, since these words should never be spoken aloud, I can’t do it.
Ri’nela had pulled her aside after communing with the Zeswa tsahìk, Minang, and olo’eykte, Nesim. She said that she hadn’t talked to the rest of the Sarentu clan before flying to see the Zeswa, but it had been on her mind. She said that having a leader would pull us closer together.
So’lek had told her there were many ways to lead. He certainly had some faith in her. It hadn’t been long since she parted from him to warn the Zeswa. Their bond all the stronger now that they were clan members. Beyond teacher and student, they were equals, or at least she hoped.
But now Ri’nela wanted her to lead him and the rest of the Sarentu?
While she tried to assimilate into Na’vi culture and customs, she couldn’t help but think that the guns she carried took her further from that. Could she ever fully leave behind her more human self? Rasi would make a better olo’eykte, she at least knew Sarentu traditions and stories.
As much as she hated to admit it, Tamtey still hardly knew what it was to be Na’vi, let alone a Sarentu. Nor may be extreme in his beliefs, but maybe Mercer raising her and the metal that surrounded her all her life had changed her more than she would ever know.
Humming to herself, Tamtey pulled out her hunting bow and fiddled with its upper limb, where a eyaye feather adorned it. Is this how her clan would have decorated their weapons? Not a thought crossed her mind without wondering about her people would have done something.
She needed to talk to someone about her dilemma, perhaps Entu would have more insight, if Eywa would bless her with his spirit. Wind whipped at her hair as she moved to mount Amay, braids sliding over her shoulder. Taking one last look over the vastness of the plains, the reds and purples exaggerated in the fading light, she breathed deeply. Eywa would guide her.
~~~
Night fell quickly across the plains. The flat lands speckled with bioluminescence resembled the star filled sky. Naranawm looked down on the land from his high perch, illuminating the night along with his many moons.
Tamtey dived with Amay, searching for the entrance to the Swokurwll, the Tree of Echoes. A glowing pink cave entrance caught her attention, alerting Amay to land nearby. A couple of Zeswa lingered at the entrance, talking urgently with each other. The news of Hometree in the Kinglor Forest will bring many to commune with Eywa. Guilt crept into the edges of her awareness, guilt at her focus of taking up the mantle of olo’eykte instead of fighting a war. Perhaps it comes from participating in so much battle already, she has grown numb to the impending, inevitable fight.
Walking into the the cave, whispers reached her ears.
“The Sarentu--”
“Eywa is on our side with that one here--”
“She will guide us-”
Tamtey always had always had eyes on her, the other clans looked at her like she came back from the dead. And to them, she very well did. But the acclaim fell flat to her, not that she particularly loved the fame. She felt closer to her ancestors by playing the role of diplomat, but she failed… didn’t she? The RDA was still here and still torturing this planet.
Not wanting to listen anymore, she stalked to the Swokurwll, glowing pink across its large petals and pearlescent tendrils. Instantly, the atmosphere was reverent, a distant waterfall rumbled and echoes of water pitter-pattering on the stone floor of the cavern dulled her racing thoughts.
“Eywa, please, show me my path. I don’t know if I can-- if I see the way forward,” Tamtey reached for her kuru and made tsaheylu with the Swokurwll. Her mind’s eye awoke, pulling her into Eywa’s consciousness.
No longer in the Plains, the Kinglor Forest unraveled beneath her, the sprawling trees and vines creating a web of interconnected life tightly woven together. All at once, she saw clusters of trees and the mites that lived between the grooves of their bark. Could feel the yoten crawling on her just as she saw once skitter over a log. Rays of glittering sunlight kissed her skin, and she was warm and alive. The forest breathed as she breathed.
Connecting with Eywa was always a relief, but came with overwhelming sensation. It was a wonder how a tsahìk was able to find their answers so easily when focusing on one element in this scene could lose her for hours. Eywa cradled her soul and showed her own, massive and sprawling, one in response.
Pulling her focus back, Tamtey repeated, “Please, show me where I am meant to be.”
A winzaw called in the distance. Ears flicking toward the sound, Tamtey started walking in its direction. While the creatures that had been taken from the Plains and Clouded Forest by the RDA ended up wandering loose in the Kinglor Forest, it must mean something more here. A flrrtsawl’s low bellow sounded behind her, even closer to her than the deer. Pausing mid-step, Tamtey whipped around, trying to spot the long, pink sails.
Other animal chirped, yipped, growled, creating a chorus together. One after the other, creatures she had never heard before. Some fearsome, some quiet, and some sad. Torn between what she knew and what she didn’t, Tamtey stood still, the wind starting to pull at her hair and clothing. Stronger and stronger it became, seemingly pulling the voices toward the sky, blurring them together. All at once, they amplified, and it was all too much.
Clutching her skull, Tamtey dropped to her knees, “No, nonono— please, I can’t—!”
~~~
“—entu? Sarentu, are you with us?”
Tamtey woke with a start, tightly closing her eyes at the light of the fire. Minang called for a hunter to find Ri’nela.
“How long was I out for?”
“Not long, tsamsiyu. One of the Zeswa found you fallen below the Swokurwll. Asking difficult questions or facing even more difficult answers?”
The Zeswa, ever direct, their spiritual leader embodied that more strongly than any other na’vi, aside from maybe her sister. “I— I do not know if I remember everything, I just know it became too much.”
Minang hummed, “Eywa sees all and knows all, sometimes we must prepare ourselves to see the truth before we face it. Though,” she glanced over to Tamtey from her work, “I know of some who face all their challenges head on.”
Chuffing, Tamtey said, “I have not had much choice these last couple of years. It is all I know since learning this new world.”
Ri’nela ducked in under the entrance of the tent, “I am so glad you are awake, I was worried about you,” she squatted over her, worry written across her face, “although I should say I have been worried about you, ever since we talked earlier.”
“Do not worry, Ri’nela. I am fine. It is just everything catching up to me. It has been a rough couple of months.”
Ri’nela sighed, her tail swishing behind her, “But that is what I worry about. You have been through so much and then I ask you to consider—“
“We have all been through so much. I cannot claim to suffer more than any one of us. Alma, Raj, Jin, and Hurit… They’re gone as well as many others.”
“I just want you to know that you do not have to suffer through this alone.”
Tamtey relaxed, realizing she was fisting the blanket and her ears were pinned back, “Of course I am not alone, I have you and Teylan. Nor, Rasi… and So’lek.”
It was still odd to call him one of the Sarentu. Of course, he was always apart of their clan, just on the fringes, never fully assimilating. He was always there, from the very start, a guardian that kept to the shadows. Mostly.
“Please, I know I can hardly call myself tsahìk, but—but I want to learn how to help you. And I can’t if you don’t tell me.”
“Give yourself some credit, you are the best Sarentu tsahìk I know.”
Ri’nela smiled, “I will only give myself credit when you do the same.”
Tamtey looked away, ears turning down once more, “I… I will keep thinking about what you asked. I appreciate you thinking of me and I agree that choosing an olo’eyktan will solidify our identity as Sarentu, but…I do not think it can be me.”
Ears flipping back, Ri’nela said, “I did not mean to place so much on your shoulders, Tamtey. Teylan and Nor, they did not tell me they need an olo’eykte. The thought came to me after So’lek joined us. Rasi would be ideal, but her heart still needs to heal. Our clan will grow with time… and it would be nice not to be alone.”
The burden on Ri’nela’s shoulders were great. While she learned from Minang and Anufi, she must feel overwhelmed with building the Sarentu from the ground up. The urge to agree overcame her, to help her sister with this burden. But even as she went to open her mouth, her gut churned and panic numbed her hands.
This isn’t something to agree to without more thought. The weight that had been placed on Nesim, Ka’nat, Anufi… they were responsible for so much. Tamtey was hardly ever nearby and she couldn’t lead through the radio. Fighting was easy, second nature, but being the one that everyone looked up to for guidance? She’s the one to take guidance, to follow direction, she couldn’t provide it for others.
“Give me some time, perhaps we should wait until the RDA is not as much of a problem.” It was chickening out if she had ever heard it, she just needed more time to come around to it.
Ri’nela’s smile was sad, she knew it too. After wishing Tamtey a restful night, she walked quietly through the tent entrance, her tail whipping side-to-side in distress. Disappointing her sister hurt more than the thought of leading blind.
Minang slipped back into view. So, she heard it all. Being so abnormally quiet, Tamtey forgot she was there.
“It is a heavy responsibility. It is wise to think it over. Just do not dwell too much within yourself to forget what is within reach,” she said, handing her a tompatayng flask, “Take this, drink it to ease any light-headedness.”
Accepting the dismissal for what it was, Tamtey stood uneasily and stepped out of the tent with flask in hand. Lifting it up to her nose, it smelled suspiciously of zangke mixed with some herbal scent she could not identify.
Fires crackled and boisterous Zeswa wrestled even as the the moons reached their zeniths, as usual. It was good to see the looming threat of the RDA couldn’t dispel all of the joy found at the camps.
But it was time for her to find a sleeping tent and try to find actual rest. It would be another long day tomorrow, reaching out to the camps up north, warning them of the impending threat.
“Just another day.”