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Another nightmare, another sleepless night. No matter how many times she tossed and turned, sleep did not come. Lenore just wasn't getting any sleep tonight, was she?
She checked the clock. It was four in the morning. The cold morning air made the room extremely chilly, and Lenore wrapped the blanket tighter around herself.
Eventually, she decided on getting a glass of water. The nearest kitchen was two floors down. She'd have to walk two floors for a small glass. Annoying–but it was better than staying here.
Slowly, Lenore pushed herself off the bed and headed to the door. The cold made old injuries flare up.
The air outside her room was even colder. It made her hair stand on end. The hallway was dimly lit with a few torches spaced few and far between, with only a couple other rooms on this floor.
Just as she was about to head out, she noticed something from the corner from her eye. A small shadow was hunched right beside her door frame. Lenore put a hand on her mouth to stop herself from screaming. She slowly drew her magic into a small ball of light, then shone it on the person.
The light revealed short blonde hair, wrinkled red pyjamas and the sleeping figure of none other than Gale beside her doorway.
Lenore stood in silence, contemplating what to do.
What is she doing here? Is she okay? Is Gale hurt, or just sleepwalking, or worse–
'No, no, don't think that.', she mentally chided herself. Lenore bent down and carefully nudged Gale.
"Gale? Gale!", she whispered in the loudest voice she could. She shook harder when she didn't initially respond. "Gale, wake up!"
Gale shot up, looking around the corridor in a daze before her eyes landed on the angel in front of her.
"Hey, princess," she greeted her with a lop-sided smile.
Lenore shone the light closer to Gale's face. "What are you doing here?", she asked in a hushed tone.
"Can you stop that?", Gale complained, swatting the light away. She stretched her arms and stood up, now fully awake.
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?", Lenore asked. "None of your business.", Gale deadpanned. Lenore gave her a withering scorn.
"I couldn't sleep, okay?", Gale said with a sigh. "Why, royal silk sheets not comfortable enough for you?", Lenore teased.
But Gale didn't laugh. The silence was deafening. She stayed quiet–uncharacteristically quiet for Gale–before turning to walk away. She glanced at Lenore over her shoulder.
Lenore's expression turned somber. "Where are you going?", she asked. "Back to my room. You're right, this is weird.", she replied and began walking away. Before she even registered what she was doing, Lenore had stepped forward and grabbed her wrist.
"No, wait, you can stay. If you want. I can't sleep either." She immediately regretted it. Gale hesitated, but nodded in response.
Lenore brought Gale into her room and seated her on the bed. She draped her comforter over her and sat beside her.
Lenore waited for Gale to start the conversation. Say something to fill out the heavy silence. But she seemed just as lost as her. She wanted to know _what exactly_ was Gale's problem but obviously she wouldn't just ask her.
"Did you hear Kessa the other day? She said something about a party coming up next month," she said, trying to get the conversation started. It was a nonsensical attempt, and she knew it. If Gale realised then she didn't point it out. "Cool, I mean, I'll check it out if I can," she replied in a quiet voice.
Before Lenore could get another word in, Gale spoke up.
"Why can't you sleep?"
Lenore was caught thoroughly off guard. She debated telling her the truth.
"I don't know, in a weird way, I'm probably too exhausted to sleep.", she said. Gale seemed to accept that response.
"That's what you get for over working yourself. Even if she's on bed rest, the great Lenore must never stop working!", she half teased, half scolded. The usual warmth was slowly returning to her voice.
Now it was Lenore's turn to be quiet. It was just another old habit, another influence. Gale had flipped the conversation on her. She wasn't going to let that one slide.
"Don't turn this on me! Why can't you sleep?", she snapped. "What are you not telling me?", she asked again, with a more gentle tone.
Gale pulled the blankets closer. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath.
"I know you all forgave me and we fixed everything-", she started, "but how do you sleep at night knowing what you've done?" Her voice quivered. She shut her eyes but Lenore could see tears forming at the rims.
So that's what this was about.
The thought had come to Lenore–how easily Gale was let off the hook for the severity of her crimes. Though they'd all outwardly forgiven her, rebuilding that trust was going to take a long time. If it even could be rebuilt.
Without meaning to, her mind drifted to the past. The pillars, the gems, ~her father~. None of those things hurt nearly as much as Gale leaving.
She remembered her, standing beside him. Their time in the frozen north when she declared she didn't want anything to do with Lenore. Their fights.
They had forgiven her, but they were all healing themselves.
It also crossed her thoughts that none of this would be happening had she not blindly followed Ziliarius. The monster made her do horrible things, and if she would've been at least a little more suspicious, maybe–
Gale took Lenore's silence as a reason to slip even deeper into the blanket. A small sniffle broke Lenore from her thoughts.
Gale was crying. It had been a while since Lenore saw Gale openly cry.
"That's what Ziliarius does Gale," she finally chose to say. It still didn't sound right, just saying his name. "He manipulates people; uses them. And, if I hadn't been an awful friend to you, then you wouldn't have felt the need to join him!" The last part was said louder.
Gale faced her with an unreadable expression, though Lenore could pick up some annoyance. Any other words of comfort died in Lenore's throat.
"Seriously?", she snapped, "You didn't know! I knew what I was doing and I still chose to join him!" She said each word louder than the last. More tears fell down her cheeks. "I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. And I still helped him.", she said with gritted teeth.
"You were right all along, I was never worthy."
It came out as a quiet sob.
And Lenore's heart shattered.
Her own words said to Gale from so long ago; still plagued her mind. Words she'd thought they'd moved on from long ago. How could she move on, though?
She was at a loss for words. Gale finally broke down and curled up in the blanket, sobs racking her body. The only sound in the room. The temperature somehow got even colder.
Even though Gale had returned back to the good side eventually, the consequences of her betrayal could still be observed. Lenore noticed how the castle staff avoided her, whispered behind her back. Gale had been one of the horsemen of Ziliarius' apocalypse.
And so had Lenore. She was, on paper still, his daughter. And Gale realised her mistake, she had sacrificed everything to make sure Kessa, Astri and Rose made it out of their prisons safe. Even though there was a chance she wouldn't.
Lenore had been to the realm Gale was imprisoned in, and it was nothing short of Hell. Gale wasn't innocent, but she deserved a second chance–forgiveness. And it started with herself.
Carefully, she placed a hand on her back.
"I can't sleep, because I see him in my nightmares," she started. She could feel Gale exhale sharply through the covers.
"Even if he's gone, he's still got some control over me. And I don't know if I can get rid of him," she continued with a sigh. The words felt heavy on her tongue.
Even if everything was fine now, she still felt his presence. Found herself mirroring his mannerisms, keeping his habits. She'd never say it out loud, but some part of her still loved him. The part that was Lenore, princess of Heaven. Still wanted his approval and love. And Lenore hated that part of herself beyond anything.
"We both know the past can't be changed. The best thing we can do is make a better present. Then we can protect the people we care about." Gale had turned to stare at her, nodding at her words.
"And to do that, you need to forgive yourself. You need to make peace with your actions and move forward. I'm still learning...maybe we can learn together?", Lenore offered with a small smile.
Gale seemed to be considering it.
"I'm sorry. For everything," she mumbled.
"I know," Lenore replied quietly. She rubbed circles into Gale's back. Gale shifted closer and put a hand around Lenore's waist. Lenore placed her head on Gale's.
They stayed by each other's side like that, until the morning birds could be heard singing outside and the first rays of sunshine broke through the chill of night.
And before either of them knew it, they were drifting off again.