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Nothing could compare to the feeling of finishing on the podium. Gabi knew that from his formula 2 career.
Nothing ever could be as exciting as your race engineer yelling in your ear and the crowd cheering only for you.
That’s why he was truly happy for his teammate mate to get his first podium to share that joy that only victory could bring to competitive man like them.
Still, the deep-rooted envy sat inside him heavily. If he could just get a little more time on the corners, if only he could finally get used to the relentless pressure on his body inside the f1 car.
Gabriel tried to put on his best smile for the cameras. He doused Nico in champagne while screaming, he hugged each and every one of the team members, but still the feelings inside him refused to settle.
The festivities ended, the lights went out and under the heavy british sky Gabriel sat near the track ruminating on his future in the sport.
Right now, everything seemed lost and impossible to salvage.
Suddenly he heard footsteps and a familiar voice coming from beside him
- Gabi, my mate, congratulations to your team. Mega job! - the brazilian didn’t have any more energy to fake his excitement
- Yeah, thanks man - he mumbled dejectedly, decidedly turning his head back to the track and hoping that Carlos would just go away
Today it seemed like nothing would go his way and the spaniard plopped down heavily next to him
- What’s got you in such a poor mood? - carlos wasn’t giving up his pursuit of making conversation
- Why are you even here still? Shouldn’t you be home already?
- Nah, man, my plans fell through and i’m not really in the mood to party with the others -then the silence enveloped them.
After the last workers cleared the paddock Carlos let the silence break.
- Let me show you something- the spanish driver stood up and was holding his hand out to Gabi to pull him up to his feet
Sighing, Gabriel took the offered hand and hauled himself up - Ok, but i’m not sure i can be good company right now - Carlos was already turning toward the car park reserved especially for drivers
The Spaniard led gabi to his car. The grey Ferrari 812 compitizione was one of a kind, Gabi couldn’t even dream of being able to drive a car like that. His eyes lit up with amazement, which he tried to stop from bleeding onto his face.
Beside him Carlos smiled in amusement, tossing his keys to the younger driver. The Brazilian boy barely caught them and held them like they were something precious.
- Come on, let’s go for a ride – Carlos was already opening the passenger door for himself.
Gabriel quickly got in – I mean, thanks, but where are we even going? And why? – the curly-haired man turned his head to the right to look at the older driver. A mischievous smile decorated his face
- Just drive straight, I’ll tell you when to turn – Gabriel didn’t need much convincing. He put the car in drive and slowly pressed the gas. The Ferrari roared to life, Gabi could feel the powerful engine rattling inside. It made him feel like a little kid again, like when he first full sent it in a kart and felt the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
Carlos turned on the radio, which played some kind of 80s song. For the first time after the end of the race the younger driver felt that he could breathe with his whole chest again. The ferrari was nothing like the tractor he was forced to drive on track every weekend, it easily submitted to every press of his foot or slight turn of his hands.
The 15-minute drive to their destination was spent in silence, with Carlos sometimes quietly whispering directions. Soon Gabi found himself driving along one of the many British rivers, until they reached a small, seemingly empty café, that stood lonely just beside the bridge.
Carlos told Gabi to park the car just left of the entrance. They got out and made their way into the dimly lit building. No one greeted the drivers at the door and no one seemed to be standing behind the counter. Carlos motioned for Gabi to choose a table, while he went up to the staff door and knocked.
A greying woman walked out and, seeming to recognize the f1 driver, quickly put a hand on his shoulder, while walking towards the coffee machine.
Carlos then turned around and his eyes found Gabi’s slightly surprised ones. He let out a small smile and slowly made his way to the occupied table, holding two cups in his hands.
- Here. The best hot chocolate in town, the only reason why I agreed to move here – Gabi slowly took a sip and let out a sigh of containment. A comfortable silence settled between the pair.
- You know, I remember my time in Ferrari – Carlos slowly started, looking out the window towards the dark river outside – The responsibility, the driving it all came easy to me, but I still can’t forget that voice in my head that always whispered that I’ll always be second to Charles, that I will never be the priority. I still remember the sour faces of my side of the garage after I managed to outscore Charles in a car made for him, a car destined to drive him to victory. Him and not me. – Gabi was looking at carlos with poorly concealed confusion. They barely talked before, god knows they always had different social circles and managed to miss each other even in such a small group of people.
Carlos continued – They wanted me to renew my contract, wanted me to pretend to be okay with always being an afterthought to my team, but I’m glad I got where I am now, but it all couldn’t have happened without a little pain – Gabi sat quietly, staring at the steaming cup, clasped tightly between his to hands. Everyone knew that Carlos and Charles were one of the best bromances on the grid. They were always happy for each other, or so it seemed, he finally felt the guilt of his own envy subside. It was okay.
- I know it’s my first year, but it’s impossible for me not to feel the greed to always want more. The old man had a lifetime of chances to prove himself, why’s he gotta do it now – the bitterness dripped from Gabi’s voice now that he knew everything he said won’t be misunderstood.
Carlos only laughed, slightly dipping his head to the side, silently asking for the younger one to continue his rant – I mean, fuck, Nico’s a good driver, a good person, but I hope some day it will be me in his place – Gabi felt hot tears of frustration slowly making their way down his face. He never even cried in front of Fernando, his adoptive father, so he couldn’t understand what was making him let his guard so easily now.
- You know, I hope you never are in his place. You deserve not being stuck in a low-field team for most of your career and you have the skills to show for it – Carlos put a placating hand on the younger one’s shoulder.
- Thank you so much for this, it’s really hard to find anyone else who would be willing to listen to me whine – Gabi finally felt lighter. It was one thing to get reassurance from his family and the other guys on the grid, it was absolutely another one to get it from an experienced driver, who previously had nothing to do with him, and only saw his skills on track.
Later that night, Gabriel had to pathetically beg Fernando for Carlos’ number
SHARK ཧᜰ꙰ꦿ➢HUNTER: good night!!! Thank you for the talk
- Gabi
CS 55: 👍
The first time Gabi met Nico he didn’t think much of the older man. After spending some time together, he could admit to himself that he was attracted to the older man. Luckily, the feeling was fleeting. All thoughts of anything remotely romantic evaporated from his head as soon as he saw his blonde princess-dress wearing daughter. Still, these thoughts sometimes came back to haunt him when Nico paraded around their hospitality semi-naked.
It also made him realize why things had never worked out with his previous girlfriends. Ollie often laughed at him for “taking after Max” – liking them older and more reliable. That’s why it came as no surprise to him that after talking to the Spanish driver he found himself with a schoolgirl crush on him.
Logically, Gabi knew that he shouldn’t hope for anything. After all, Carlos hasn’t contacted him at all in the little 20-something day break between Silverstone and Spa.
The drivers parade seemed like a great idea for Gabriel to reset and start the race from a clean slate again. The curly-haired man was ridiculously happy to be driving that small-ass car around the track. At least now Sauber’s car was on par with the other teams’.
Gabi was having a great time, despite Nico’s ass falling on his face a couple of time. He would get over it. Still, he couldn’t make himself not keep an eye out for the signature blue Williams car.
Bortoleto took that as a sign. Until Carlos suddenly appeared to his left. The Williams drivers were laughing hysterically, pushing the car to its limits.
When their cars got closer Carlos loudly yelled Gabi’s name – Gabi!! We took a little shortcut, but we still in the same place. Sauber bringing some heat this weekend too? – Carlos’s thick hair was in absolute disarray from the wind and the horrors of the alleged shortcuts.
Gabriel couldn’t help, but laugh – Of course, man! – Haas suddenly bumped into Sauber’s car from behind, making ollie screech with laughter. Carlos gave one last side eye to Nico and the blue boys drove off, not keen on being targeted by Bearman next.
After the driver’s parade ended, Gabriel was walking towards his motorhome, when he felt a hand grab his shoulder.
There Carlos stood smiling – Fun, yeah?
- Definitely, wish these races would count for points too
- We would all get so many penalties, no one would be able to drive tomorrow
- Any tips for Spa?
- Shouldn’t you ask Max this, you know it’s his favourite track, no?
- Yeah, I mean, just wanted to hear a different perspective – Gabi blushed slightly under the gaze of the brown-eyed man in front of him.
- Sure, take Nico out, the literally do whatever you want – the smile on Carlos’ face became somewhat malicious, while still keeping a bit of humor.
- Ay ye captain – laughed Gabi.
- For real though, good luck - break a leg pop a tire – lets catch up after the race, I enjoyed our little getaway – with that Sainz decidedly turned around and left to get ready for the race.
Gabi felt happy and confused at the same time. They were never friends before and really had no reason to become them now. Everything he knew about Carlos was from watching races with his dad when he was a teenager and little tid-bits from Alonso. Carlos always seemed quite serious and focused. He was known as the strategist on the grid, but Gabi came to know that it was far from truth.
Carlos was easy to talk to and joke around with, he never took anything too seriously. It was good for the Spaniard as a person, but did little to help Gabriel with his feelings.
The race went unexpectedly good. Gabi came ninth, managing to outscore his teammate and get precious points for the team. Carlos came eighteenth.
Gaby, after finally finishing with countless debriefs, finally got to his drivers room. He didn’t expect Carlos to be waiting there for him already, ready to congratulate the younger driver, despite his own unlucky finish.
- Mega job! Glad you turned it around for yourself – Carlos was seating on the massage table, smiling, while leaning back on his outstretched hands for support.
Gabi was taken aback by such a sudden intrusion. Just when his brain had started to from words again, the noise of the door opening interrupted the start of the brazillian’s sentence.
- Hi, great job, sorry, have you seen my phone anywhere? Noemi had her recital today, I need to talk to her as soon as possible. She was really sad when I told her I couldn’t be there – Nico stood in the doorway, wearing only a towel, which swallowed stray droplets of water that came down from his hair on his chest and then abdomen.
- No, sorry, maybe ask Willy, he could have taken it – Gabi’s eyes unconsciously traced the lines of Hulkenberg’s abs. Carlos let out a barely there scoff and the tense aura in the room instantly evaporated.
- Congrats again, I’ll leave you to eat – Nico walked away from the room, shouting Will’s name as he went.
- Sorry if it’s not my business, but do you guys have something going on – Sainz’s eyebrow was raised simultaneously in question and disgust, it seemed.
- N-no! Of course not, he has a wife and a kid you know that – Gabi stared incredulously at the Spaniard still invading his room, cutting away the time Bortoleto had to shower and get ready to leave for his hotel.
- It’s just kind of an open secret between us drivers that Nico is quite a swinger. He used to get around with all of his teammates, besides you, I suppose – Carlos laughed at his own assumption.
- All? Do you mean that? You were his teammate once too – Gabi was baffled by the revelation and its implications.
- I mean, he tried, but I never went for it, Charles didn’t have Alex back then and, until her, he never cared enough to stay loyal to his girlfriends – Carlos was smirking now, trying to gauge the reaction of the younger driver.
- Oh my god, I can’t believe I never knew that – Gabi sat down heavily beside Carlos.
- Wait, how did it never come up? Everyone saw how you behaved like a school girl when Nico breathed in your direction – Carlos was looking at Gabi with unconcealed interest, probably already smelling the hottest gossip that he would be able to tell George, Alex and Lando on of of their weekly padel dates.
- I mean, I never tried anything and I genuinely can’t see myself fucking someone, while their daughter is waiting at home – the Brazilian driver was looking disgusted by the whole conversation.
- Okay, let’s finish here, it’s all probably too much for your little innocent brain to handle. Besides, I planned on showing you my favourite golf course tonight, so you better get ready – Bortoleto finally stood up, going to the tiny shower located in the drivers room, taking his shirt off on the way there. He definitely didn’t imagine the gaze of the Spaniard on his back.
CS 55: You should work on your golfing form
SHARK ཧᜰ꙰ꦿ➢HUNTER: thx fr the compliment
CS 55: 👍
CS 55: By the way, how are you getting to Hungary?
SHARK ཧᜰ꙰ꦿ➢HUNTER: probs riding the motorhome with Nico and the others
SHARK ཧᜰ꙰ꦿ➢HUNTER: y?
CS 55: Me and Charles are flying private, if you wanted too, you could join
SHARK ཧᜰ꙰ꦿ➢HUNTER: fr?? ofc I’d love to
After that faithful conversation Gabi was slightly nervous to be up high in the air with Carlos and his past, kind of, situationship. The Spaniard had to assure him time and time again that he won’t be intruding and it’s actually better this way because carbon emission, as all f1 drivers come to know as soon as they step foot on track for the first time, is divided by the number of people it was caused by. Take that, Lewis.
Gabi was not yet used to skipping all of the TSA lines and not having to have his bag checked. It still felt like a luxury that he, a boy from a simple middle-class family, wasn’t worthy of.
Getting to seat on the bougie leather seats was incredible. Not having to share your space with anyone you don’t know, having an opportunity to spread out as much as you want and even walk around without getting passive aggressive stares from the flight attendants and other passengers was a dream come true.
As soon as Gabi claimed the seat near the window, Carlos sat down next to him, pulling his hood low around his eyes and settling for a bit of shut-eye.
Charles walked on a plane as a model he sometimes liked to present himself online as. In one hand he was holding Leo, in another Alexandra’s hand was clutched. They both looked like they just stepped out of an athleisure commercial with their matching alo sweats and hoodies.
It made Gabriel feel slightly out of place, he was definitely not dressed for the occasion, in the least ratty pair of pants he could find and his teams polo.
As if sensing it, Carlos raised his head, greeting Leclerc with a silent nod, then shuffling closer to the Brazilian driver and sharing a piece of gum with him.
After the plane finished it’s ascension, they both fell asleep.
Unknowingly to themselves, they turned towards each other in their sleep, with their faces close together. Seeing this serene scene in front of her, Alex couldn’t hold herself back from taking a picture.
Alex giggled to herself, opening the WAGs groupchat.
Gabi felt exhilarated, 6th place in a car like theirs sometimes could feel like the 1st. Getting out of the car, he felt like he was on top of the world. On the end of the grid, he noticed Carlos, who didn’t look happy at all and didn’t even glance his way once. He was 14th.
Gabriel’s mood slightly soured, he, in such a short amount of time, got used to being praised and celebrated by the older driver.
The debriefs went by him in a slight haze, just as he thought their relationship was getting better, something went amiss yet again. For the first time that day he decided to check his phone. There were the usual post-race messages, but something stood out. Kelly texted him something… It was a picture.
Quickly unlocking his phone with face ID, he saw a pretty cute picture of himself and Carlos sleeping, curled towards each other like two parenthesis. The picture was as unexpected, as it was flustering. He found the proof of their recently-formed closeness to be flattering. It proved that it wasn’t something he imagined to himself.
The end of the race seemed even weirder now, with no texts from Carlos and no tangible plans to spend time together afterwards.
After the race, Carlos, to drown out his confusing feelings, decided to finally give in to Lando’s whims and go out to celebrate.
Arriving at the club in his usual attire of shirt and trousers, he quickly found the booth, where his colleagues sat. He saw Gabi sitting at one of the two booths reserved for them, so he quickly made a detour to the other one, hoping to go unnoticed by the younger driver. The booth he slid in was occupied by a slightly out of it Max, holding a gin tonic in his hand, belting out some stupid song and Kelly Piquet sitting next to him, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else.
She noticed Carlos and her face took on a surprised expression. Strangely, she looked like she didn’t expect to see him here tonight.
- What are you doing here? – Kelly yelled over the loud music.
- What do you mean?
- Gabi’s in another booth and you’re sitting here. Why?
- Why, am I not welcome here? – Carlos was getting slightly agitated by the weird questions.
- You should be sitting with your boyfriend over there. He just placed 6th you should be all over him, not babysitting drunk Max with me – Kelly rolled her eyes and pushed Carlos out of the booth.
Slightly stumbling, Carlos stood near the entrance of the private area – He’s not my boyfriend! Why are you always getting into my pants?
- Everyone saw that picture, you can’t fool me. You’ve been following him like a lost puppy, you didn’t even behave like that to your ex-girlfriend.
After hearing that, Carlos became visibly upset. That private moment wasn’t supposed to be shared to the world. It was something pure, meant only for them to enjoy. He remembered waking up on that plane to Gabi’s face. Remembered the feeling of serenity he felt at that moment.
- No jodas temprano en la mañana.* – Kelly mumbled in her native language, effectively finishing the conversation.
Carlos decided to go get another drink at the bar in hopes of forgetting the entire dialogue that happened with Kelly. Squeezing through the sweaty bodies on the dancefloor, he finally saw an opening at the bar counter, quickly sliding into it to get away from the hands of strangers.
- One whisky on the rocks – Carlos shouted to the bartender, feeling a hand tapping him on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head to the right and was greeted by the person he wanted to see the least right now.
- Hi, didn’t know you’d be here. Why didn’t you come say hi? – Carlos didn’t have an answer prepared. It wasn’t the talk he wanted to have at the club.
Abandoning his drink, Carlos made a flimsy excuse and went outside to get some air. Gabi looked after him in confusion. He wasn’t sure if Carlos just wanted to be left alone or if he needed someone there. Gabi understood how hard of a hit a driver’s confidence took every time they didn’t even get into points. He stood lost for a long moment.
Gabi remembered their first interaction and how nice it was to have someone listen, so, despite everything, he decided to follow Carlos into the dark alley.
The Spaniard was sitting on the sidewalk, looking up into the sky. Gabi silently sat next to him and followed the trails of the stars with his eyes. He saw two familiar constellations shining brightly on the evening sky.
- Look – Gabi said taking Carlos’ hands in his and tracing the Virgo and the Pisces signs with his finger – It’s our stars signs, which means we’ll definitely both get points next time.
Taking his eyes off of the stars, Gabi saw Carlos’ tender expression directed at him.
- What? You’re weird today, you know – Gabriel decided to finally start discussing the feeling that was weighing on him since the end of the race.
- It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.
- I know how hard you’ve been trying to wrangle the William’s car. I believe that soon you’ll get used to it and score podiums. What with your brilliant mind and a good team around… - Gabi was cut off by the older.
- No, I know all of that. I don’t care about what the media says, I don’t care about the car. It’s not because of racing at all.
- What’s it about then? Do you just not want to be friends anymore? – Gabi was getting sadder by the second.
- No, the opposite actually.
- What do you mean? – Gabi stopped understanding the actual meaning of this conversation about a minute ago, mentally preparing himself for the end of their relationship.
- I wanted to be something more. It’s just….
- What? – Gabriel was confused.
- It’s just the picture that Kelly sent everyone… No one should’ve seen it, it was just a moment for us. She put pressure on you to reciprocate my feelings and I didn’t want that at all – Carlos was now looking at his hands, refusing to glance up at the younger boy even for a second.
- What feelings? – Gabi was starting to get hope now. Maybe he wasn’t the only one that felt the attraction that’s been brewing between them.
- I thought you knew.. Everyone was fucking teasing me about my obvious crush. I know it’s not reciprocated, no hard feelings at all. Just let me get some space and then we can go back to normal – Carlos was looking more and more dejected, convinced of his own unanswered feelings.
- You truly are dumb.
- I know, I promise I’ll try my best to get over it. If you’re uncomfortable, just say the word, I won’t bother you anymore – Carlos was starting to get up from the sidewalk.
- Shut up. You are even more stupid than I thought. I’ve had a crush on you even since we first talked.
- What?
- Yes, you dummy. I’ve been your number one fan since before I was on the grid. After we met, I understood that it was not only your appearance and driving skills that pulled me in, but you as a person – Carlos stood in confusion.
- I can’t believe it. We lost so much time because of my own insecurities. – Carlos seemed to be frozen in place.
Gabi giggled and pulled Carlos towards him by his hand. Carlos landed on his ass just to the brazilian’s right. Gabi slowly inched his head closer to the older, giving him time in case he wanted to avoid the kiss.
They sat their kissing under the light of their stars.