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Published:
2026-01-01
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my darling little boyfriend

Summary:

Turns out that people love the fantasy of a couple running a restaurant, and Azul is more than willing to exploit this for profit.

Notes:

if anything is formatted wrong, so sorry! im posting this on mobile

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Azul first noticed it by pure accident. He shouldn’t have been serving tables, especially since he had a pile of paperwork waiting for him at his office, but someone who shall go unnamed decided that it was too perfect of a day to not go hiking with his stupid little boyfriend, leaving them understaffed during a shift that was already suffering from lack of students.

He hoped his mushrooms died all at once in a painful accident.

Petty wishes aside, at least it gave Azul the opportunity to check more closely how satisfied the clients were with the lounge, his sharp ears picking up even the quietest of whispers.

“The prices are a little too high on the desserts...”

“It’s super nice for dates, especially when Azul is here!”

“Aww, they took the risotto off the menu? It was my favorite dish!”

Feedback this direct was valuable enough for Azul to just bear the loss of time, smiling to each client as he made enough mental notes to fill a whole book.

It was the middle of the evening when he noticed two students taking a glance back at the lounge just before leaving, too far away to hear exactly what they had said, the little he could pick up making him raise an eyebrow.

“...Floyd and Azul cute?”

“Totally, I hear they are...”

If it was just those two students, he would have discarded that as nothing worth noting, but as the evening continued, he couldn’t help but keep hearing comments of similar nature, ranging from how close they seemed and how suspect that was, to people straight up saying they were so bold to be acting like that in public where everyone could see and were an inspiration to shy couples everywhere.

Absolutely bizarre assumptions, especially since Azul was acting like he always did around Floyd, but even more curious than that was the fact that by the end of the day, their profits were higher than average. Not by much, but enough for Azul to wonder if that strange rumor had anything to do with it.

He was a man of science, knowing full well that a single data point was useless when there were so many variables that could have raised their profits, which meant that more testing was needed.

It wasn’t hard to force Jade in the kitchen for a little while nor to change his own schedule to accommodate this change, and after he had enough evidence, Azul was confident with the conclusion that when people thought him and Floyd were a couple, they ended up spending more money on the lounge.

He had read a few papers on the matter, and while they were all very enlightening, what mattered was the fact this was so easily exploitable that he would be stupid not to capitalize on it.

“We are going to pretend to be a couple from now on, Floyd,” he declared while they were all winding down from a day of work, spoken with the same tone one would use to order more napkins from a waiter.

Jade merely giggled as he took a sip out of his tea, Floyd himself raising an eyebrow at the statement.

“Why? We are not dating.”

“Yes, that’s why I said we are going to pretend to be dating. People spend more money when they think we are making out behind the scenes.”

Azul did consider the possibility of Floyd rejecting the idea, the scenario of him whining that it would be too much work for something so boring far too real as he stared at Azul with a pout, but thankfully, his expression soon turned into a smug, toothy smile.

“That’s interesting. What do we need to do differently, then?” Floyd asked.

“Let me take the lead, and play along when I need you to. If you have any ideas, discuss with me beforehand,” Azul said, knowing full well that the last part wouldn’t happen. “And Jade, keep quiet but make sure to keep people guessing. The element of mystery is very appealing, apparently.”

With that, it was decided that they would keep going until people lost interest in that little piece of gossip, starting the very next day.

After finishing half of his personal tasks, Azul left his office to put his plan in motion, the excuse good enough to give himself a break, this expectation immediately broken as soon as he saw Floyd slacking off on a nearby table, chair tilted back and legs on the table, a few clients nearby giving him stares.

Even if his first reaction was anger, Azul saw the perfect opportunity to start, even having the privilege of an audience to witness it all and hopefully spread the word. 

Walking up to Floyd, Azul gently removed the hat covering his face, resisting the urge to kick down the chair to instead frown with just the right amount of frustration at him, putting a hand on his shoulder, a finger very deliberately brushing against his neck.

“There are better places to take naps in, don’t you think?”

It was extremely satisfying to see even Floyd get surprised, the nearby table taking the bait with flying colors, the random students both letting out a low gasp as they watched Azul walk away, that little exchange all they needed to see a couple new faces at the lounge, willing to shell out far too much money to see if the rumors were true.

They couldn’t give the public what they wanted all the time, but damn if Azul wasn’t tempted to do it anyway if the results could stay like that forever.

There was something oddly funny about how little they actually needed to do to make people’s imagination run wild — and in the middle of exam season no less, you would think that people had better things to care about —, a single, lingering touch more than enough to make everyone stare, Floyd deserving all the praise in the world as he played along perfectly, almost seeming genuinely embarrassed at some points, cheeks dusted with a light pink color, his grumbling leaning far more into the cute side than expected.

But Azul knew that couldn’t last forever. Cotton candy couldn’t fill a stomach. As entertaining as it was to play house, a narrative needed some spice to really be fully effective.

After a couple of weeks of lingering touches and sensually whispered sweet nothings, Azul called Floyd into his office — very deliberately in front of others, of course —, and as soon as the door closed behind him, he turned to Floyd, smiling with the smug superiority his genius plan deserved.

“Floyd, we must have a fight.”

Floyd threw himself on the sofa, looking at his own nails with disinterest.

“Like, a physical one? I don’t think you can win in your human form.”

Azul rolled his eyes. “Of course not. I’m talking about a fight between us as a couple.”

Clearly still bored, Floyd looked at Azul with half-lidded eyes.

“Sounds boring.”

Even if smooth talking and negotiating with others was part of his job description, Azul still groaned with annoyance at having to do it with Floyd of all people.

“Then, let’s create an interesting narrative around it, shall we?” Azul started pacing around the room, placing a finger on his chin. “It’s far too early for a cheating narrative, and in general, I think anything too heavy will put in question the legitimacy of our relationship...”

Surprisingly, Floyd gave the first suggestion, even if he wasn’t fully engaged just yet.

“You could always just put some jealousy in there. Seems easy enough.”

“...Indeed I could, couldn’t I?” Azul smiled deviously, stepping closer to Floyd. “For the sake of simplicity, let’s say I am the jealous one. You know how people call me greedy. It would make sense for me to be greedy over my boyfriend too.”

Hearing that, Floyd turned to Azul, attention not quite fully dedicated, but the smug smile on his face was more than enough to show that he was already halfway there.

You, jealous of me?”

Azul nodded enthusiastically, already able to see the money on his table.

“Yes, yes... You, with your carefree nature, got a little too friendly with... Hm, let’s say Jamil since you two share a club... And right as I was about to deliver you a very tasty treat after your game I saw your arm around his shoulder... Yes, yes...”

Oh, this was delicious. Azul was actually salivating about the gossip this could generate.

“Nobody is going to believe you were bringing me anything, but the arm around his shoulder thing is just a common occurrence,” Floyd said, finally sitting up properly.

“Even better. Means that the story will have credibility. Then, the most interesting route would be you trying to act like normal, and I will look like the angry one.”

“Eh, I get to do nothing? Boring...”

“Think about it, Floyd. I am being kind enough to let you react any way you want. Means you can make it as interesting as you want. Just don’t implode the relationship.”

Well, Azul was also preparing a plan for that scenario (where he would act like he was hurt but loved Floyd too much to let go) but Floyd didn’t need to know that.

After a few moments of consideration, Floyd nodded along, his toothy smile telling Azul that his improv game would need to be on point.

“Very well, Azul. Be careful what you wish for.”

The pleasure of having another month of higher profits made the warning go almost unnoticed, and in a moment of joy, he got closer to Floyd, dipping into his personal space, faces close enough for Azul to smell the lip balm Floyd was using.

“I’m going to be so rich.”

Caring little about what reaction Floyd would have to that, Azul left his office, ready to research new, fancier tableware for the lounge.


“Well, why don’t you go hug Jamil if you are so needy?” Azul said, just far enough for only a couple of students to hear his complaint, but it was more than enough when he saw them running to tell the others about his apparent fight with Floyd.

It took all his strength to not smile manically at his plan working so well.

Instead, he kept his frown as he entered the lounge, followed by Floyd and his usual wide smile.

“C’mon babe, you know you are my number one. Jamil is just a friend.”

“Quit it. We are supposed to be professionals here,” Azul said, not meaning a single word he said, and in fact delighting in that little breach of professionalism, especially when he saw the glances they were receiving.

Perhaps he should already prepare a few extra students for tomorrow’s shift. People would pay to see them fighting.

And then, before he could finish his fantasies of higher profits, a hand tilted his head upwards, Floyd’s hat covering their faces for prying eyes as their lips touched, the kiss as chaste and quick as it could be.

Chaste or not, it was enough for Azul to be completely stunned in place, eyes wider than they had ever been. 

“I don’t do this with Jamil,” Floyd said, too low for it to be audible for anyone but Azul, and before Azul himself could react, Floyd just walked into the lounge like nothing had happened.

What Azul wanted to do was call Floyd back to his side and yell at him that this was far too extreme for what they were going for, but he had promised that he would give his best ‘yes and’, and so, he let out a sigh, deciding that whatever revenge he would have needed to be ten times worse.

The profits of the day were the highest for the rest of the month.


“Now, don’t forget, we are here as a couple. Find a student that seems invested in us as a couple, and let’s get this part of the plan going,” Azul said, giving his own makeup one last check before they arrived at the town.

After Floyd’s little stunt, it seemed necessary for them to make peace with each other again, and there was no better way of doing that than publicly parading your boyfriend around. Azul also needed to check up some new cafés that had opened up for both inspiration and to sniff out the competition, so it was a good excuse to kill two birds with one stone.  

“Yup, got it,” Floyd replied, that same lazy smile plastered on his face. “I gotta smack your ass if I spot anyone from school.”

Floyd.

Floyd seemed amused enough by his own little joke, and after making sure he was walking slightly behind Floyd, they made their way to the first café.

It was a charming little thing, clearly in a completely different niche than Mostro Lounge, but Azul had heard a few good things about their menu, and if Floyd felt like behaving, he was sure they would be able to take a few lessons from it. Even better than Floyd was there to eat off the plates they would order.

After sitting by the window, Azul ended up ordering something they called “Cherry Sandwich” (contained no cherries) and a “Creamy Starlight Sundae” (did contain cream made of starlight), his smile sincere when the waitress arrived with their food.

“Oh, how absolutely enchanting... Floyd, look at this,” Azul said, turning the sundae towards Floyd. “I’m pretty sure the stars are white chocolate with a little food dye, but isn’t the effect lovely? I tend to find food dye quite tacky, but if we managed to keep a more or less unified palette, maybe mixing with some naturally blue ice cream and-”

Azul wanted to keep going, but his train of thought was cut short by how... intensely, for lack of better word, Floyd was staring at him. The emotion on his face wasn’t negative by any means, but it was still different enough from the usual self-serving happiness Floyd was known for.

It was... affectionate.

“Hm? What is it? Go on. I was enjoying listening to you,” Floyd said, still maintaining a smile, the lack of any sort of noticeable acting making Azul hide behind his glasses.

“You can’t stare at me like that and expect me to act normally,” Azul said in a whisper.

Floyd tilted his head to the side. “Why not? I love you, don’t I?”

Thankfully, Azul wasn’t eating anything just yet, because he would have surely choked to death.

Before his composure got completely lost in the void, he had to quickly remind himself that they were acting, and Floyd was just doing his job. Doing his job properly that is, while Azul was fumbling because he got a little lost in his own roleplay.

He doesn’t actually love you, get a grip.

“Well, I suppose I am a truly loveable person,” Azul said smugly, taking a scoop out of the sundae and offering it to Floyd. “Now tell me what the ingredients are from this. We are going to make a homage at Mostro Lounge.”

For the rest of the evening, Floyd kept his good loving boyfriend act, and with Azul taking it as simply him being in an agreeable mood, the atmosphere stayed light and pleasant through their little adventure in town.

However, what made Azul suddenly pause one day was the realization that... they really were having a lot of those types of days. Like, a lot.

Floyd was a moody guy and of course more than once he ended up doing whatever he wanted during their dates — which included one day where the bastard grabbed Azul and threw both of them into the ocean — but many, many times, it almost felt like they were truly just going out.

Sharing food, talking about their routine, coming up with new dishes for the lounge, gossiping about the next juicy bit of blackmail they got. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that they were supposed to be dating at all, but whenever Azul got a little too comfortable, there was always something there to remind him of their contract. A kiss on the cheek, a peck on his lips, a hand intertwined with his own, a hug from behind were all little moments of affection that despite all odds became a regular part of their routine.

But, just as it became something normal between them, it too became normal to their audience, the little boost they had in sales completely gone by the second month of their façade, Azul clicking his tongue as he gave one last look at their profile sheets.

“I could have totally extracted more out of it for at least twice as long, but alas. There will be better opportunities,” he said, trying to console himself with how many new marketing ideas he got from their dates. “I suppose it is the end of our contract, Floyd. Many congratulations to the both of us.”

From the sofa inside Azul’s office, Floyd let out a little exclamation.

“So we can finally start dating for real?”

Taken by surprise, Azul took a moment before he could actually give sense to what he had heard.

“What do you mean dating for real?”

Floyd got up, lazily walking until he sat on Azul’s desk, pushing a pile of papers out of the way.

“I mean, we didn’t even make out. Just cute little kisses here and there. Don’t tell me you aren’t curious to know what it would feel like,” Floyd said, narrowed eyes accompanied by a smug smile.

Azul wished he could be shy over the whole thing, but he was too stuck on the idea that somehow, Floyd wanted more out of this scheme.

“Well, it’s just so unlike you to wait. You would have usually-”

Floyd's laugh interrupted Azul.

“And here I was expecting you to enjoy the gentleman act. Of course Azul would like it to be a little more forceful.”

And as if Azul himself had asked for it, Floyd jumped on his lap, kiss far more intense than it had ever been before, a hand already undoing Azul’s tie, while the other seemed desperate to unbottom his shirt, and Azul could only close his eyes and enjoy whatever Floyd was about to do with him.

Notes:

i had this sitting in my WIPS since may last year apparently, so i decided to finally finish it! long live floyd x azul love them so much. happy new year everyone