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Tawnypaw's Shadow

Summary:

Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw have always had to live under the Clan's suspicious eye because of their father, the murderous Tigerstar. After an accident while helping the elders, Tawnypaw has had enough.

Notes:

So I've decided to start a short scene of The Darkest Hour, when Tawnypaw runs away from ThunderClan to ShadowClan. And, of course, seeing the straw that broke the camel's back.

Chapter 1: The Breaking Point

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The sun hung low over the forest, casting long, skeletal shadows across the ThunderClan camp. Bramblepaw focused on the task at hand, his claws rhythmically raking through a pile of dry, golden ferns. Beside him, Tawnypaw was working with a restless energy, her tail twitching in the dust.

"Keep it steady," Bramblepaw murmured, nudging her. "If the bedding isn't soft, Smallear will complain for a moon."

Tawnypaw sighed, her amber eyes—so like their father’s—flashing with frustration. "I’m trying. It’s just... the camp feels so heavy today. Everyone is looking at us."

Bramblepaw knew what she meant. Since the news of Tigerstar’s leadership of ShadowClan had broken, the air in the ravine had turned cold. Every time they passed a den, whispers died away.

"Ignore them," he said, though his own heart felt like it was made of stone. "We’re ThunderClan. Let’s just finish the elders' den."

They carried the fresh bedding into the hollowed-out fallen tree. Smallear was curled in a corner, his ears flattened against his head, while One-eye lay nearby, staring blankly at the wall.

“About time,” Smallear grumbled, lifting his head. His ears flicked irritably. “My nest is as thin as a kit’s winter coat. I’ve been feeling the cold stone through it all morning.”

“We’re sorry, Smallear,” Tawnypaw said, her voice strained with the effort of being polite. She began to scrape away the old, soiled bedding.

Tawnypaw moved to clear out the old, soiled moss. In her haste, her paw caught on a jagged knot in the wood. She stumbled, and a clump of wet, tick-infested bedding flew from her grip, landing squarely on Smallear’s flank.

The elder let out a screech that echoed off the camp walls. He scrambled up, his gray fur bristling. "Mouse-brain! You’ve put the filth right back on me!"

"I’m sorry, Smallear!" Tawnypaw gasped, reaching out to brush it away. "It was an accident, I slipped—"

"Get away from me!" Smallear hissed, baring his yellowed teeth. He shook himself vigorously, his eyes narrowed to slits. "I should have known. You’ve got no patience for the work of a true warrior. You’re just like him."

The clearing went silent. Even One-eye turned her head toward the sound.

"What did you say?" Tawnypaw’s voice was dangerously low.

Smallear didn't back down. "Tigerstar. He was the same. Always too grand for the elders' den. Always looking for a shortcut or a fight. He hated tending to us, and look what he became." He leaned closer, his voice a cruel rasp. "The blood runs true, Tawnypaw. You’ll turn out just like him. A traitor in our midst."

Tawnypaw didn't cry. Instead, her fur puffed out until she looked twice her size. "I am nothing like him! I am a ThunderClan apprentice!"

"Are you?" Smallear spat. "Or are you just waiting for your chance to run to ShadowClan and join his side?"

Bramblepaw stepped between them. "That’s enough, Smallear! You can't say that to her. We’ve done everything for this Clan!"

"Out!" Smallear barked. "Get out before I fetch Firestar myself!"

Tawnypaw didn't wait. She bolted from the den, her paws thundering against the hard-packed earth of the clearing. Bramblepaw hesitated for a heartbeat, glaring at the elder, before racing after his sister.

They found Firestar near the Highrock, talking with Graystripe. The ginger leader looked up as the two apprentices skidded to a halt, their chests heaving.

"Bramblepaw? Tawnypaw?" Firestar’s ears pricked with concern. "What’s the matter?"

"Smallear," Tawnypaw managed to say, her voice shaking with rage. "If ever a cat asked to have his fur clawed off..."

"You shouldn't talk about an elder like that," Firestar rebuked her. "Smallear's given good service for the Clan, and we should respect that."

"What about a bit of respect for me?" Tawnypaw snapped, and she didn't care at the moment that this was her leader she was speaking to. "Just because I was a little late going to clear out the old bedding and dropped some moss, Smallear said that Tigerstar had never wanted to serve the elders either, and he could see I was going to turn out just like my father.” She scraped her claws on the sandy floor of the clearing as if she were picturing the old tom’s fur. “It’s not the first time he’s said things, either. I don’t see why I should have to put up with it!”

While she was speaking, Bramblepaw had come to join them, putting down the moss he was carrying. “You know Smallear’s joints are aching because of the cold weather,” he meowed.

“You’re not my mentor!” Tawnypaw flared up at her brother. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

"Calm down, Tawnypaw," Firestar reassured her. "“You’re doing very well as an apprentice, and you’re going to make a great warrior. Sooner or later, the Clan will see that.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling her,” Bramblepaw meowed, and added to his sister, “We’ve got to live down what Tigerstar did. That’s the only way the Clan will believe in our loyalty.”

“Some cats believe in it already,” Graystripe put in, and Bramblepaw flashed him a grateful glance.

The worst of Tawnypaw’s fury was fading, though she still felt anger burning in her ears. With a toss of her head, she turned away, flinging her parting words over her shoulder as she stalked toward the gorse tunnel. “I’m going to fetch some fresh moss.”

“I’m sorry, Firestar,” Bramblepaw murmured when she had gone. “But Tawnypaw’s right to be upset.”

“I know,” Firestar reassured him. “If I can catch Smallear at a good moment, I’ll have a word with him.”

“Thanks, Firestar.” Bramblepaw dipped his head in gratitude, picked up his moss, and hurried after his sister.

Notes:

When I first wrote this with Gemini, the text had Smallear insulting Tawnypaw and calling her a "clumsy faggot." I was like, "Whoa! Smallear! Where did THAT come from?" Another reason it was changed was that, in the earlier draft, Firestar approved of Tawnypaw leaving afterwards. But in the book, no one knew Tawnypaw was running away until someone noticed; Firestar was going to RiverClan with Graystripe to check on his kits.