Chapter Text
If he had to rate his most recent assignment on its level of bizarreness, Riz had to admit it would probably be pretty high up there.
Well, he contemplated as he rocked the little bundle of limbs and tears in his arms, trying to get her to sleep after her afternoon snack which made her all fuzzy and upset from the looks of it, maybe the assignment itself wasn't all that bizarre compared to all the exploits and shenanigans his adventuring party would get up to when they were young.
It definitely had the most bizarre long term consequences though.
The baby in his arms was still upset, refusing to settle down, and Riz had to admit he was at his wits end as he tried to look up what to do on his crystal.
He sighed, wondering again if he was making the right decision here.
All of this started 2 weeks ago.
Officially Riz wasn't part of the Council of Chosen, not due to a lack of them trying mind you, but rather because over the years he had learned to trust those motherfuckers as much as he could throw the Hangvan.
However, Riz wasn't stupid, he understood that turning them down when they reach out for his help could end up very messy, so he has done his best to keep that bridge open, acting as a sort of freelance adventurer while maintaining his work as a private investigator. It worked for them. He was able to tell them to go to hell if they bothered him with bullshit so he could go back to solving other cases and they didn't have to pay him a consistent salary.
It also had the bonus benefit of Riz being able to keep taps on what the council is up to and get a head start if something that could concern the bad kids comes up. It really wasn't a bad arrangement, they also paid him well both for his skills and for his silence, the later he was sort of scamming them on since he would often rope at least one friend into the investigation, just to make sure someone competent was aware of any potential world ending threats.
This time things took an unexpected turn.
The assignment was supposed to be relatively simple, locate a magical item stolen from one of their research facilities, simple as that.
He normally wouldn't even have bothered with this one, things got stolen from them all the time, that was a job for a rag tag group of teenagers, not a full grown adult adventurer who has saved the realm at least 5 times by now.
He took it though, mostly because rent was due and his other cases felt awfully dull.
He had more than he bargained for when he found himself in the middle of a shoot out, taking down cult members left and right as they were performing a strange ritual. Well, actually that part was pretty normal if he was being honest. What wasn't normal was when the last few members of the cult went down and he tried to retrieve the magical object, it was some sort of sphere with two metal rings swirling around it in seemingly random patterns, started to activate.
It glowed and pulsated as it rose from the ground and Riz was about to run for cover when its shape changed. A little humanoid body formed in front of him and Riz stared in bewilderment. The tiny shape slowly opened its eyes, rubbing the sleep away with their tiny fists before starting to cry as whatever magical energy that kept them afloat dissipated and they dropped unceremoniously towards the ground. Now was it smart for Riz to rush forward and catch the mystery baby despite not knowing what any of this was about? Probably not. But, come on, it was a baby, he couldn't just let them fall onto the hard ground!
It wasn't hard to make up the distance and catch them, he had been standing right there after all. The tiny body he caught felt warm and soft and definitely real and he breathed a sigh of relief when after a few seconds at least no physical ailments befell him. Two mismatched eyes stared at him in wonder and Riz returned the stare, “Hi there.” He said softly as if any sudden movements could cause them to start crying again, which to be fair was very possible.
Instead a delighted squeal erupted from the baby's mouth as they raised their hands up to him like they wanted to touch him. Riz blinked as a tiny hand got hold of his tie and started pulling on it lightly. A snort left his mouth, “is that it? You like my tie?” He asked, more delightful squeals were all the affirmation he needed before he untied it with one arm and gave it to them so they could play with it while he gave them a once over.
She appeared to be a girl, though Riz knew that was a bit presumptuous. She was either a human or a halfling based on her anatomy and features, or at least that’s what could pick up on so far. She seemed to be a few months old, however her full head of curly storm grey hair made it hard to make a clear judgement call on that.
She didn't seem to be hurt in any way, and as Riz held her up in front of his face she found a new toy as she grabbed for his glasses.
Riz wasn't proud of the little hiss that escaped his mouth, he never liked when people messed with his glasses, however that also seemed to just delight the little girl. She hissed back before breaking out into a fit of little giggles.
Riz never had anything against babies, he had gotten to hold Fabian’s younger sibling plenty of time while visiting him at home and he did take pride in the little one clearly admiring him over the years, however he never really wanted any children of his own.
He knew that his line of work was dangerous and he had first hand experience of how it feels to grow up without a father in your life. Besides it wasn't like he would ever have the sort of relationship where child rearing would be a valid thing to take into consideration. Well that wasn't exactly true actually….He did break off his last relationship because the other party wanted to bring children into their not quite romance.
Despite that he couldn't help but feel a slight paternal instinct as he looked at the little girl who immediately seemed to have taken a shine to him. A small smile spread across his face as she tried to hiss back at him again, he wondered briefly if that’s how his mom had taught him to hiss when he was a baby.
Maybe that’s why he did what he did.
When he brought the little one back to the council and gave his report on what happened a lot of debating started. Nobody quite knew what to make of that turn of events and Riz was left holding the baby the entire time.
He had tried to hand her over and make his leave as the government officials made their decisions about what would happen with her but the second he tried she would erupt in tears and the woman taking her got catapulted into a wall.
They figured it would be best if he just held tight for now.
So he bunkered down in a hotel, a small crib and baby supplies were thankfully provided to him and a nurse would show up to show him the basics. He had to say, learning how to change diapers really wasn't on his list of things that would happen that day but alas none of the things that happened that day were.
She was old enough to turn her head on her own and to turn herself around with her own hands, which was both relieving since that meant she wasn't as fragile as a newborn, but also terrifying because that meant she had more mobility than a newborn too.
Riz was definitely out of his depth.
He doesn't really know what possessed him when he suggested to the council that he should take her in.
Well that was a lie.
He did know, the little one didn't want to leave his side no matter what he tried and even with the proper dispelling runes set up so he could hand her over to a doctor to further examine her, her relentless crying broke something inside him he didn't know was there before. He was of full sound mind and under no spell effects when he pitched the idea to the council and frankly he has no idea how he managed to beat whatever persuasion DC he had to beat, but he did.
The council had been hesitant at first, they warned him that she wasn't like other children, she was made up of very unstable magical energy.
He argued that he had handled worse, besides as long as he was around her powers didn't seem to escalate at all and he might be able to work with his contacts to help her learn how to control her abilities.
Frankly he was surprised how fast they gave in. He had figured they would want to experiment on her, but he also figured he would see people shadow them for the foreseeable future. Maybe they wanted to see how she would develop if raised in a semi-normal environment.
So that’s how he found himself back in his apartment in Bastion city, a crib now set up in his work study, baby supplies scattered around next to case files and him on the couch with a fussy toddler after just having fed her. His last fantasy Google activities were all about child care related subjects and he felt more tired than he has ever felt.
He really needed to call his mom.
Cassandra, he had to call so many people.
He eventually figured out how to burp her properly, something he felt he should not have needed that much time to figure out, and she settled down. Riz sighed in relief as he brought her over to the crib and sat down at his desk, wondering if he had made a mistake. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this and he would do more harm than good?
The baby nuzzled into her blanket and made a small noise, Riz felt a smile creep on his face as a warm feeling spread in his chest. Well there was no walking it back now.
He looked over the papers scattered on his desk, knowing he would have to get back to his cases soon. He would have to figure out how to find someone to watch her while he was working, the council was providing him with some funds at the moment to hold him over while he got her settled in, but he didn't like being in their debt so he would have to figure things out fast.
He stared at the documents he had to fill out so they could officially register her as his adopted daughter. The field “Name” taunting him like it has for the past few days.
He never thought about children so he never thought about what to name his future daughter. He had been mulling this over, even started a list of names he could consider and those that were forever tainted by old enemies.
There was one name he liked that jumped out to him, he didn't really know why, it wasn't a goblin name and it’s meaning didn't really have any significance to him. It felt right he supposed and maybe that’s why he likes it so much, the absence of reason felt so fitting for the circumstances that led up to all of this.
He smiled, He said the name softly into the room, which earned him a little baby squeal, solidifying his decision.
“Emilia Gukgak.” He wrote onto the paper work, feeling that warm feeling in his chest spread even more.
“This is a prank right?” His mother had said as he called her via his crystal, he was holding Emi in his arms so she could have a good view of her grandmother. He looked at her apologetically, he knew this is probably the biggest shock he had given her in a while.
“No. This is very real mom….sorry I had to tell you via Crystal…”
His mother was giving him that look she would give when he was much younger and doing something extremely stupid and irresponsible she knew she couldn't stop him from doing but still had to at least try reasoning with him. Riz gave a strained smile, he knew this would be her reaction.
“Look mom, I agree, I am definitely getting in over my head, but please lets not focus on that right now. I want you to meet your granddaughter, this is Emilia Gukgak.” He said as he proudly presented the baby for her.
His mom cried.
“Emilia? Oh my god what a precious name! Did you name her Riz?” She asked between sobs and Riz smiled, a odd sense of pride over coming him.
“I did. This is my little Emi.” He said. It felt odd, the way he actually felt like a father gushing over his little girl, and even odder when the realization hit that he was a father gushing over his little girl.
“Oh sweetheart! She is beautiful. I will come to visit as soon as possible!” She declared as her teary eyes were transfixed on the baby. Riz chuckled, feeling a weight fall off his shoulders, he hadn't even realized how nervous he was.
They talked for a while longer, Riz telling her all about how this happened and her listening intently while making little cooing noises to Emi now and then. Riz had dressed her in her favorite outfit, two weeks ago he hadn't even realized babies could have favorite outfits, but Emi clearly loved the red baby sweater and her little black leggings.
To be fair he didn't have many outfits for her yet and the stuff he did get for her were mostly chosen haphazardly.
She looked adorable in whatever outfit he put her into though. More adorable than any baby had ever before.
He definitely wasn't biased.
“Mom can you do me a favor?” He asked her after their conversation drifted to Emi’s eating habits and how Riz used to be a fussy eater at her age and all the tricks she would apply to get him to eat. Sklonda looked at him quizzically and he gave her a small smile.
“Can you give me a headstart before telling everyone at home about her? I would like to tell my friends first before they learn about this second hand.” He said. He knew that the second this information spread in their home town, one of his friends would receive a call about it within the hour.
“Of course honey, when are you breaking the news?....Does Fabian know yet?” She asked the last part like she was stepping over a bomb.
“We are having a group call in an hour…And no. He doesn't.”
He felt like throwing up when he said it out loud.
“What the fuck The Ball?!”
That was about the reaction he expected from Fabian. Frankly he predicted everyone’s reactions perfectly.
Adaine and Gorgug were shocked, which was a relief because that meant Adaine didn't have a premonition about this.
Fig and Kristen were excited, both gushing over baby Emilia, who he had to change into one of his own shirts after a little mishap earlier and the realization that he really needed to buy her more clothes.
Fabian…Fabian looked like a mixture of being angry and being hurt. Which he couldn't really blame him for.
“Look. I know this is….sudden-”
“Not the words I would use.” Fabian cut in, his voice laced with venom. Riz flinched and Emilia started to get upset, which at least got Fabian to soften his gaze.
“Sorry.” He said, “I will rip you a new one when the baby isn't there to see it.”
Riz made a pained sound but he supposed that was fair. Fabian lived in Bastion City too, the other side of town now that he moved out a month ago but still, Riz really had no excuse to not have told him by now and even had dodged most of his calls, mostly because he was a coward first and foremost.
“How about you start by explaining yourself” Adaine prompted.
And so he did.
“Well.” Ayda said, she had joined Fig’s call after hearing gushings about a baby and immediately started crying upon seeing Emilia causing them to have to wait until she had calmed herself down a little bit before Riz was able to recount the events a second time.
“That certainly is extremely fascinating, I would love to study your daughter but I recognize that that notion might be off putting.” She stated, Riz smiled, he always did like Ayda a lot.
“I actually wanted to ask you if you might be able to help her control her powers. I think she is a sorcerer, probably, but you are one of the most well versed people in the arcane arts that I know and I trust you implicitly.”
Ayda cried again.
“All of this being said, I am confused about one aspect.” She said eventually, “At no point did it seem like you were forced into the caretaker role for her? I thought you didn't intend to have children, wasn't that one of the main reasons you and Fabian stopped your relationship agreement?"
The silence that spread was deafening.
“I should go.” Fabian announced, “I will call you about wedding planning another time Fig.” He said, reminding everyone why they originally had scheduled this call before hanging up. Riz winced, yep, that sure was a disaster.
“Oh.” Ayda realized after a second. “Oh I should have not have said that. I am so sorry.”
Riz shock his head, “It’s fine…it’s my fault. I should have talked to him alone first. I’m sorry I hijacked the call. I will put Emi down for a nap and we can talk about the wedding instead.” He offered, Fig grimaced, “Hey.” She said, “It’s okay if you need to dip.”
Riz took a shaky breath, “Okay.” He said, “Yeah, I probably should. Text me okay?”
“Will do.”
Cassandra he loved Fig.
It didn't take long for Fabian to show up at his door. He had a duffel bag thrown over one shoulder and was holding a pink gift bag full of what Riz assumed were baby clothes in the other.
He let him inside wordlessly, he really wished Emilia would have taken a shine to him immediately like she had with Riz, however the second she saw Fabian she started crying uncontrollably. Riz tried his best to calm her down, using his tail to sooth her with the teddy Fabian had stuffed into the bag.
Fabian looked slightly heartbroken as he took off his coat and put down his bag. “Well. That’s a great start.” He said with slight humor in his voice masking all the other emotions he probably was feeling.
“She isn't going to blast me across the room is she?” He asked.
“Don't worry,” Riz reassured him, “She has a little bracelet with anti magic runes on, I got that made for her because I figured someone was bound to show up soon…You look good.” He meant it, Fabian was always handsome but he really grew into himself in the past years and he definitely cleaned up fine after their last break up.
“Thanks.” Fabian replied nonchalantly, “I would say the same but…you kind of look like shit.” Riz snorted, he was wearing the only track suit he owned because everything else was covered in stains now and he has never felt more exhausted.
“Yeah. I know. I haven't showered in a while.” He admitted, Fabian smiled at him. “Well, if it won't kill me to hold her,” he started ignoring the way Emi screeched and fussed when he reached for her, “Let me take her for a little bit while you take a shower and have a nap.”
“Are you sure?...I thought you would want to talk first.” Riz asked, Fabian just shoed him off, “That can wait, besides she should get used to me, I’m staying for a while.”
Riz smiled, reassured that their friendship wasn't damaged regardless of everything that had happened.
Fabian had confessed when they were about to graduate high school. Riz wasn't sure what to do with that at the time.
He had gotten to terms with the fact that his relationship with attraction looked different from most people, but he still wasn't sure what exactly that meant for him. Baron had been that consistent reminder that he would end up alone one day because everyone would find someone else.
So Fabian’s confession both shocked and terrified him as well as it filled him with a selfish sense of hope. Maybe he could be enough, he had thought back then, maybe they could build something that worked for them and Riz wouldn't have to worry about when they would see each other for the last time.
He definitely made a huge mistake opening that can of worms. A mistake he would never want to undo.
They made it till a year into college, their relationship was nice, stable, they had lived together at the time, they were mostly acting like before but with more physical touch and Riz wouldn't have minded if things stayed like this forever.
He didn't care for things like kissing but didn't mind doing it either and sex wasn’t a threshold they had crossed at that point. He would later find out that sex was something he was able to participate in and even enjoy, he just never felt compelled to seek it out and didn't quite get the hype, it felt almost mundane now but during their first attempt at a relationship it was a terrifying subject he tried his best to tip toe around.
Eventually Fabian started to ask more uncomfortable questions, wanting to take things into a more serious direction, so Riz did what he always did when he wanted to avoid these sorts of things, he hid behind his work.
When things imploded between them Riz was sure their friendship was over. Fabian wordlessly moved out and gave him the silent treatment for two months before carefully opening up a channel of communication again.
They eventually patched things up properly, Riz finally explained himself, including how attraction was still something he was figuring out and Fabian to his surprise was very understanding. Both of them agreed that maybe they weren't mature enough for the kind of relationship that could take Riz’s asexuality and aromanticism into consideration.
That should have been it.
But it wasn't.
Because of course it wasn't.
Riz wasn't proud of how often him and Fabian had done that song and dance over the years since they finished Highschool. Frankly they were giving Kristen and Tracker a run for their money.
They would break up, make up eventually, get back together into that unspecified dynamic they would not give a name to and then something would come up Riz couldn't handle and they would break up again. Rinse and repeat.
Each time Riz was sure Fabian would start hating him. Each time Fabian would show up and reassure him that he could never, he just needed space.
The last break up has been amicable, Fabian had broached the topic of marriage after Fig had announced her official engagement. Riz had countered that there wasn't really any point to it other than a tax break for them.
Then Fabian asked the messy question.
“What if we want to adopt?”
At the time Riz felt like a rug was pulled from under him, but really, it was a very valid concern. Fabian wanted to have children some day, Riz knew that, he had told him as much when they were in high school.
Riz on the other hand had never verbalized that he didn't want children.
There was a fundamental disagreement between their life goals.
They didn't break up immediately, because who does that over an off hand conversation? But eventually they sat down together and talked about what they did or did not see in their future and it became abundantly clear that they weren't heading down the same direction.
Well
That sure made things awkward now.
He shut off the shower and let out an exhausted sigh, he really should have thought things through more rather than just announcing Emi in a group call. He knew what he was doing was inconsiderate, he wasn't oblivious about that fact, it just…seemed easier than having a one on one conversation with his ex about why he had a child now despite breaking up over not wanting children?
He wished he could just hide from whatever awkward conversation was waiting for him now.
He heard Emi crying in the other room.
He hung his head in defeat.
Fabian was doing his best, Riz could tell as he walked in on him trying to calm the little ball of overwhelmed frustration, doing his best to not drop her despite her trying her most to kick and punch her way out of his arms.
“Riz I know I said you could take a nap but this one has other plans!” Fabian announced.
“it’s okay, thank you for trying.” He said as he took her from him. “I will settle her down in her crib.”
“where is her crib anyways?” Fabian asked. Riz motioned to follow him as he led them into his study. Fabian frowned, “Riz she will need her own room.” He pointed out.
Riz tries to ignore how Fabian hasn't used “The Ball” once since he arrived here.
“I know. I’m going to look for a new place soon. Just need to get things figured out first.” He explained. There were so many things he had to figure out when it came to Emi.
“At least by having the Crib in here I can do some work while watching her.”
Fabian Sighed, “Well at least let me prepare some food for you and get the place cleaned up then.”
“....Fabian?”
“Hm?”
“....are you very mad at me?”
“....Yeah but that’s not important right now. I’m going to take care of you first, then we will have the uncomfortable conversation.”
“...”
“Are we clear, The Ball?”
"Yeah."
The flood of relief that washed over him as he heard his nickname was the only thing that kept him from spiraling.
When Riz woke up with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders at his study desk his first thought was that he was back home and his mom had found him passed out over a school project again.
The second was that he’s an adult man and has a child of his own now.
The third was that the crib next to him was empty.
He immediately grabbed his gun, ready for whatever malicious entity that has stooped low enough to target his child and vowed to rip them apart with his bare teeth and claws as he stopped in his tracks, the smell of freshly cooked food invading his nostrils and the sound of soft singing filling his ears.
He knew that song.
Riz put his gun away and quietly sneaked down the hallway into the living room. There was a bowl of pasta on the table, smelling heavenly, and Fabian was nestled into a pile of pillows with Emi on his chest. She wasn't crying, she just slept peacefully as Fabian sang to her in Halfling.
Riz made eye contact and Fabian motioned to the place next to him, inviting him to join them.
“She isn't crying?” Riz asked in a whisper, eyeing his daughter sleeping like an angel in the arms of another person for the first time.
“She woke up while I was getting you the blanket. I thought I would let you sleep at least a little bit longer and took her to the other room. She quieted down when I started to hum a song so I have been singing to her for the past 20 minutes.”
“Oh wow.” Riz said as he lied down into the pillow pile with them. “Who would have thought?”
“Right? You are totally wrong about her being a sorcerer, she will definitely be a bard.” He declared, Riz chuckled, “Maybe she will multi class.”
“Maybe.”
“...Do you want to talk yet?”
“...No. I'd rather just sing a while longer.”
So Riz let him as he lay next to him and watched him serenade his daughter.
Fabian stayed for several days and Emi became more attached to him rather quickly after their rocky start.
They bonded over music and maybe Fabian was on to something because Emi absolutely adored music. She was mesmerized by Fabian’s voice and he would lightly swing her around now and then, doing little dances while getting chores done.
Riz had to admit, Fabian was his rock those days as he spent some time getting his affairs in order and looking into things.
On day 2 they finally had that hard talk as Emi slept peacefully in her crib.
“I won't pretend that I’m not hurt.” Fabian started, he always was the one to start the difficult conversations, “But I want you to know that I get it.”
That surprised Riz.
“What?” He asked, wondering what that could possibly mean.
“...Emi is amazing. I get why you grew so attached to her so quickly and I also get that having a child as a single parent is different from having a child in whatever mess we had going on.”
Riz nodded, “....I’m sorry.” He said, and he meant it. He knew that if he had been able to love Fabian the way that Fabian loved him things would look very different.
“Don't think that way.” Fabian said with annoyance in his voice, “I hate when you do that. You aren't broken just because you aren't in love with me.”
“Was what I was thinking that obvious?”
“It is to me. I see it every time we break up.”
“...”
“...I will stick around and help.”
“You know we can't do this with her right? I don't want to confuse her.”
“I know. But might as well stick around anyways.” They sat there in silence for a while, watching the little being they both have committed to slumber away peacefully.
They didn't pick the conversation up again. Fabian has said his piece and Riz found himself unable to properly articulate everything that was going through his mind. So he just left things unaddressed, unsure of where they stood now.
Fabian and Riz couldn't do the whole “will they won't they” thing anymore.
Emi’s well being took priority over Riz sabotaging himself every time they fell into something comfortable.
So that left the question, were they giving up or doing it right this time?
Maybe Riz was just too tired to try and figure that out that night.