Work Text:
Kyle loves Kenny's hair, his blonde hair, uneven and in his face all the time. He loves his eyes, his big grey eyes that have seen millions of things and yet so fresh at the same time.
He lays there with him, their hands intertwined. Kenny sighs, and Kyle's head shoots up. "Are you okay?"
Kenny gives him a knowing look. "Yes, I am just as okay as the other times you asked me."
"Shit. Okay." Kyle nods. "Sorry, I uh…" his fingernail snags on a hangnail on another finger, picking over and over. "You just… you… I don't know. I am sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I don't…I don't know, man. I mean, I was kind of weird when you asked me to turn the heat on and I don't want to seem like I don't prioritize you…"
"Dude, it's fine."
"Or that you're not worth the money to have the heat on… I mean your family has like nothing and I feel really privileged and like… god, Cartman would have so much shit to say right now…"
"He's not here."
"I feel guilty."
"For what?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, well I have to go to work."
"I thought you didn't have to go until 2."
"I moved it up."
"Oh." Kyle shifts awkwardly. A moment of silence passes. "Is this because you're sick of me?"
"What?" Kenny snorts. "Kyle. It's okay. I'm poor remember?"
"Shit, yeah, I mean-"
"I love you." He kisses Kyle on the lips. "See ya."
"I love you too," Kyle says, but despite that, he doesn't feel better. He lays himself down, trying super hard to stop his racing thoughts. Lighten up, buddy, his father's words to him all those years ago, echo. I want to. I want to lighten up.
Kyle would love to live a life unburdened by his brain. He knows it drives everyone else crazy. And yet he can't stop it.
He gets in the shower. It's his third today. His mom would be pissed, he knows she would be, and yet… he uses the washrag to scrub his body until it stings.
He wishes he could wash his brain away with the rest.