Work Text:
it’s mother’s day, shane treats it like he always has; flowers, gifts, a day full of affection. ilya tags along, helping him choose bouquets and cards, letting himself pretend it doesn’t hurt. later, when the day is over and the apartment is too quiet, the grief catches up to him.
ilya breaks down alone, he stares at the moon, then speaks softly to his mother like she can hear him, apologizing for the way he’s begun to lean on yuna as a maternal figure. he just hopes his mother doesn’t feel replaced, he just needed someone to hold him the way she used to.
the truth is, ilya had been so happy to be welcomed into shane's family. that first day, the taste of his first home cooked meal by a mother’s loving hands had tasted like pure gold. but the aftertaste, that was what hurt the most. he tried to pretend like everything didn’t remind him of his beautiful mother all the time, but it did. yuna’s hugs felt so nice, and warm, and maternal. but he couldn’t help but feel a sting in his heart every time she let go. when he hugged her back and, instead of long blonde curls, he felt shiny black hair, it hurt.
he had a mother now, but he couldn't help but secretly wish he’d had his mother too. he missed her so much it hurt to acknowledge it. so instead, he’d keep going, like he always had. he tried to ignore the quiet terror of realizing that time hadn’t distanced him from his mother at all; it had only brought him closer to her. he tried to ignore the reality of never being able to visit her beautiful grave anymore. although it didn’t really matter, because she was always, always on his mind. in his heart, he carried her with him, and maybe her sadness, too.