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"... Sorry. Did I wake you up?" He felt the sheets shift beside him as Azul stirred from his sleep. "I probably should've told you about the nightmares."
Yuu kept his voice low, barely a discernible whisper. If he was wrong in his assumption, it'd be best not to make much noise lest he wake Azul up this time.
After all, he was sure he would not be a pretty sight to wake up to right now. His body was covered in sweat, his shirt sticking uncomfortably to his skin. Were he alone in Ramshackle, he would've just taken it off and gone back to sleep. Maybe take a warm shower if he still was too jittery— But he was a guest now. Even if Grim was sleeping belly-up by his side, giving him the illusion of homeliness, that didn't change the fact he was in Octavinelle, sleeping in Azul's bed no less.
Yuu fiddled with the cotton sheets. They were soft. Much softer than any blanket he'd ever touched. They were crisp and smelled like fresh laundry, nothing like the old and musty sheets from his own bed. The golden thread embroidered into the covers shimmered in the moonlight as he pushed them back and away from himself.
"Do you have them often?" Azul's voice broke through the silence. Just as soft and quiet as his own. Yuu turned to see him. It was a rare sight— light grey hair disheveled, with curls sticking out of place here and there. His delicate features barely visible in the dark room. Even then, Azul still managed to maintain that aura of carefully curated elegance. The boy slid off the covers and sat up, his brows knit slightly. Was it because he lacked his glasses? At this hour, Yuu didn't want to overanalyze such details.
"I don't dream often." Yuu shrugged, his eyes shifting to Grim's open-mouthed sleeping face. "But when I do, it's often nightmares."
"I see." Another rustle. "Are they.... about..." The question was uttered carefully. Even if unfinished, the rest didn't need to be said. They both knew what Azul meant.
"No... I've yet to have one of those." Yuu's hand reached for Grim's belly and softly scratched it. His friend's sleepy reaction made him smile a little. Petting a cat was always a sure-fire way to calm him down. "And I don't think I will, to be honest."
Silence.
He felt Azul's eyes scanning him up and down. Even if he kept quiet, Yuu could very easily discern what his bed-mate was thinking. Though he kept a confident mask most the time, he still cared deeply about what others thought about him. And as someone who had seen him at arguably his worst, it was probably difficult for Azul to believe Yuu didn't think of him as anything other than a monster... If only he knew.
"... I'm not lying to spare your feelings, you know. The overblots feel more sad than scary to me."
"That's extremely insensitive."
"I'm aware. Sorry." Yuu let out a chuckle in spite of himself, turning around again to look at Azul as he pulled his legs close and laid his cheek on his knees. "I guess it's because I wasn't raised knowing about them."
"How could you not—..." Azul grimaced. Even without any lights on, Yuu could discern the wrinkles in his forehead as he scrutinized him, looking for any sort of sign of deceit. Like a puzzle yet to be solved. "I don't understand you, Yuu-san."
"That makes two of us. Probably more."
"Definitely more. I'd dare to bargain. Nobody in this school does." He put a hand on his chin and tilted his head. The weight of his look softening. "It must be lonely."
"... I've been lonelier." Yuu's fingers brushed through Grim's chest fur, him purring subconsciously in response as he spread out even further. "But I have Grim to keep me company now."
Azul hummed, seemingly unsatisfied with the answer. "Wouldn't you prefer... a more human companion?"
"Do mermaids qualify as human or do you just mean anthropomorphic? Err, wait. That's a rude question to ask, isn't it?"
"I'll give you a pass. But if you think I fit the bill... I may have to charge a personal therapist service fee."
"And here I thought that we were talking about friendship." Yuu laid back on the bed's plush frame and extended his legs out once more. "I already have a therapist, though. So I'll have to pass."
"Pity. I am a great listener." Azul scooched closer, their shoulders now touching. "My friendship, though, is very expensive."
"I know." Yuu let out a sigh. They were just teasing each other, but he knew that very well already. He subconsciously leaned closer, aching for warmth. "And I'm afraid my budget can't afford it at the moment."
Would it ever, though?
Sometimes Yuu wondered what the real price of being Azul's friend would be. Not a business associate or another pawn for him to play with, but a real confidant. Maybe Azul's walls were built too thick for him to trust someone now, much less Yuu. Still, he couldn't help but wish he could become someone close to him. To gain himself a spot inside Azul's heart.
"That's not—" Azul's breath hitched as he brushed his fingers through his hair, attempting to regain composure and control over the conversation. Yuu could very well imagine the gears turning inside his head despite the darkness. "I'm sure we can strike up a deal with what we have already. You do own certain assets—"
"I'm not giving up Ramshackle for your branch café."
"Tsk. You're always so difficult." Azul crossed his arms and tapped on his elbow. Sometimes he could be too predictable for his own good. "What are you willing to offer, then?"
"Friendship." Yuu made sure to emphasize the word further with his tone. "It's not much, but it's all I've got."
"I'll have to appraise it's value, then. Need to make sure it's a fair exchange."
"You really doubt the value of my friendship? I'm hurt." Yuu feigned insult as he nudged Azul. "Who knew Octavinelle's housewarden was so cruel?"
"Oh? You misunderstand me, I am the very embodiment of benevolence." The ring of Azul's laugh echoed through the room and he rested his head on Yuu's shoulder. "Wasn't I kind enough to lend my bed to a stranger without charge?"
"So now I'm a stranger. Ouch." Yuu felt the hair at the nape of his neck straighten up at the sudden show of affection. Was it affection even? Or was he just reading too much into it? Either way, his face felt too warm for comfort and he thanked the gods above that the lights weren't on so the redness on his cheeks would go unnoticed. He could only pray Azul didn't notice the heat emanating from his face.
Yet, he couldn't disagree with Azul's previous statement. He did just allow Grim and him to sleep over in his room, a place that was so personal, especially for someone as cautious as him. And not only that, but he insisted Yuu take the bed instead of sleeping on the floor or the couch. Even if he was just being a good host or was hoping for this to become a later debt Yuu had to pay him for, he still was so gracious about everything— act or not.
"Well... I barely know anything about you. Doesn't that qualify as a stranger? If it weren't for our previous contracts, I would know even less." Azul's posture shifted as he sat up straight once more, turning his gaze to Yuu. "The information we've managed to gather about you is awfully sparse."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"For my business, it's not." He crossed his arms. "In fact, I find it very annoying. What is it that you're hiding exactly, Yuu-san?"
"You're acting as if I'm some sort of criminal." Yuu couldn't help but chuckle slightly at Azul's words. "You're just angry you can't find any dirt on me to blackmail me with."
"I think my curiosity is very healthy given the circumstances. Who wouldn't want to learn more about this mysterious interdimensional student?"
"Please, as if any answer I'd give would satisfy anyone. I could very well be lying through my teeth and nobody would know." Though he meant for his reply to be lighthearted, Yuu felt a slight pang of frustration at Azul's prying. With a heavy sigh, he continued his line of thought. "It won't stop people from eyeing me and Grim like some sort of circus freak."
"... I understand what you mean." Azul's tone softened. His hand reached towards Yuu's, hesitantly brushing his fingers against the back of it before his palm settled on top. "We could help you out with that. No charge."
"Thank you, but it's fine." Yuu chewed his lower lip. "I've found it's best to just ignore them and let them make up their own image of me. It's not like it matters in the end since I'm leaving anyway."
Azul's hand tightened around his. A silent reassurance. "So you'd rather let the rumors spread?"
"It's not like I have anything to fight them with. So why bother?" Yuu pulled his legs close to his chest. "That's why you targeted me in the first place, right? Because you knew I am helpless by myself here."
"I— That's... nevermind." He averted his gaze to the night stand and twisted his body to grab his phone. As he lifted his hand and pulled it away, Yuu found himself missing his touch.
"I shouldn't have gone there, sorry."
"No, you were right." The sudden light shift made Azul flinch before he lowered the screen brightness. His eyes narrowed as he checked the hour. "We should go back to sleep. Professor Crewel will not be pleased if we do our verbal report half-asleep. And we still need to strain the potion before class." With that, Azul shuffled back into the covers with his back facing Yuu. "Good night, prefect."
"...Good night." Despite saying so, Yuu stayed up, silently watching Grim's chest fall up and down slowly. Why did he feel so lonely now?
Maybe he should try and walk it off instead.
The bed creaked slightly as he sat up, but before he could even put a foot on the cold tiled floor, he felt a hand wrap around his arm.
"Where are you going?" Azul chided. Though his tone was softer than his usual reprimands on his shifts at Mostro Lounge. "You really should get some sleep."
"Just going for some water."
"I'll come with you, then."
"You don't need to." Yuu placed his own hand over Azul's, softly nudging it off.
"No, it's fine. I'm a light sleeper so I would be woken up either way." He felt Azul shuffle again and then he heard footsteps towards the door. "Are you coming?"
When Yuu turned around to face him, he was greeted with the image of the housewarden leaning on the frame with his arms crossed loosely. The low light barely reflected on his glasses, which gave them the sort of glint Yuu thought could only be seen in anime. And now, after a couple more minutes in the dark, he could discern his expression. It looked... worried? Only slightly— but the way his eyes scanned Yuu's figure and his lips pursed expectantly made his heart skip a beat.
Thank god Azul hadn't switched the lights on.
"... Yeah."
The walk from the rooms, to the common room and then surprisingly to Mostro Lounge was wrapped in silence. With all the trouble Yuu'd given Azul lately, he didn't dare to question his partner's decision until they had arrived at the Lounge's kitchen and the mer put some water on a pot to boil.
"I thought you wanted to go back to sleep as soon as possible?" Yuu finally inquired as he sat down at a nearby bench, looking at the way Azul moved around the kitchen with ease, picking up different utensils around the place. "Why are we here?"
"I'd thought that tea would be more effective than water, so I'm making you my personal recipe." He answered and placed two teacups by the counter, flashing Yuu a smug smile before going back to the stove and turning off the boiling water. He then walked to a cabinet where he took a variety of tea tins and loose leaves. "The brew I'll be making is a Mostro Lounge Exclusive. Take this as a free sample of what may be the solution to your sleeping problems."
"Ah. So that's been your plan all along." The fluttering in Yuu's chest stopped. Of course, even at this hour Azul was thinking of business. Sure, his quick-wittedness was something he admired, but a small part of him was disappointed. Maybe he had read Azul wrong and he wasn't really worried, maybe he didn't care at all if he couldn't get any deal out of his situation. "If I had known, I would've spared us the whole walk here. You know I'm not falling for your contracts, Ashengrotto."
"But you're already here. So let's not waste this opportunity, shall we?" With almost surgical precision, Azul measured and poured a variety of leaves and dried fruit into two infusers, the pleasant smell filling the little corner of the kitchen the pair had settled in. Chamomile, lavender and lemongrass were the strongest of the bunch, but there were also notes of apple, cherry and passion fruit mixed in.
Yuu couldn't help but let out a sigh as he breathed in the aroma. He'd always liked the blends served at Mostro Lounge and wished they'd sold the leaves for him to make at home, but maybe they had a perfectly business-savvy reason to not start distributing. He will definitely miss the tea once he inevitably goes back to Japan.
"Here, let it steep for three minutes." Azul placed a delicate teacup with its matching saucer on the counter beside Yuu. "Honey?" He lifted a small jar filled with the golden liquid.
"No, thanks." Yuu took the cup with both hands and blew softly, taking a moment to let the tea warm up his shaking fingers as he kept it close to himself. "I thought Jade was the tea guy. You didn't put anything shady in here, did you?"
Azul chuckled, his head shaking softly. It's as if he knew Yuu was going to ask that question. He leaned close and put Yuu's cup to his lips. A soft hand guiding Yuu's to tilt it slightly and let him take a small sip of the contents.
Yuu could feel his face burn up. Silver strands of hair tickled his cheeks and his eyes were met with clear blue ones, obscured by long curly lashes. For a moment, he instantly regretted having doubted Azul, if only to save himself from his own racing heart.
Was Azul always this smooth? And more importantly, was he doing this on purpose? If there was anything more terrifying than Yuu's nightmares, was the possibility that maybe Azul was already aware of his growing feelings for him.
"If I were to put something shady in here, I wouldn't have drank any now would I?" Azul takes a step back, resetting the distance between them to the former, more socially acceptable measurement. "I pride myself in always giving my clients the best solutions to their problems, you know."
"Mhmm." Yuu averts his eyes to the cup and presses his lips tightly before taking a sip. He was surely burning red right now. And this time there was no darkness to hide his blush from Azul, which he could feel reaching his cheeks now. "Do you mers just not know about personal space?"
“Hmm? Whatever are you talking about, Yuu-san?” Azul shrugs, walking back to the stovetop to pour himself a cup. “I just wanted to ease your worries about any foul play.”
“You could've done so in many— ugh, you know what? Sure.” Yuu huffs into his drink and his reflection warps as the tea's surface ripples with his breath. “Thanks for the tea.”
Usually, he'd be happy to have Azul's undivided attention. Even a sign he might even be into him, but he was still far too frazzled— and honestly far too sleep-deprived, to handle his teasing tonight. “I'll just head back to the room then-”
“I must insist you stay close to the kitchen. I'd like to wash the dishes and leave everything as we found it, and it would be far too much of a hassle to go back and forth between the room and the kitchen to grab any stray cups.” Azul sips his tea after he speaks, almost too nonchalantly. “We are not supposed to be here after hours, after all. So I'd like to be as swift as possible with our visit.”
Yuu sighs. Shaking his head. He could already imagine the kinds of favours Azul would ask of him later on just for this small comfort. But maybe it was best to just indulge him for now. “Can I at least sit on the common area? The lights here are hurting my eyes.”
Azul hums a response, which Yuu takes as a yes. He doesn't even spare the other time to properly answer before he stands up and leaves to take a seat at one of the sofas by the window. Azul follows closely behind, sitting beside him at a small, healthy distance.
He can feel him staring.
Was that good or bad staring, though?
“What's on your mind?” There was no use in keeping this awkward silence going, and he liked Azul's pretty voice despite his condecension, so Yuu might as well be the one to start a conversation anyways. “You're looking at me like some odd bug.”
“That was not—” Azul clears his throat. “That was not my intention.” He hears Azul take another sip of his tea. “I was just… curious.”
Yuu turns around, making a small sound to urge Azul to continue.
“You said you had nightmares often, but they're not related to the overblots. I just can't help but wonder what they're about.” Azul crosses his legs, shifting himself to properly face Yuu.
“Azul… “ Yuu starts, but Azul swiftly cuts him off as he continues his line of thought.
“It's just… I know so little about you, I can hardly imagine you went through something even more traumatic than… well,” Azul motions at himself.
Yuu sighs heavily and rubs the back of his head. He gets it, really. But the reality of his nightmares sounds way too fantastical to be believeable. Besides, having Azul know such personal details made his skin crawl. “You know I could lie about it and give you a bogus story just to get you off my case, right?”
“Then I'll have Jade pry the truth out of you.”
“I'll never speak to you again if you do that.” That threat rings hollow to Yuu's own ears. He knows Azul is joking, especially because he would never waste Jade's one-time unique magic on something as trivial like that, and because he thinks— he hopes Azul will respect at least some of his privacy.
Still, Azul seems taken aback by his response.
“I…” Azul's breath hitches, a glint of remorse in his eyes. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested that.”
“I… it's fine, I know you're joking.” Yuu gulps, reaching out a tentative hand to comfort the other. “You are, aren't you?”
“O-of course I am!” Azul's tone comes off a little too defensive, but Yuu pays it no mind. “I am very mindful of boundaries. Besides, Jade's power should not be wasted to just satiate my curiosity.”
“Yeah. My traumatic past isn't even that interesting,” Yuu tries to lighten the mood, leaning his head on Azul's shoulder. Now it was his time to invade the octomer's personal space. He feels Azul tense up and for a second he thinks about apologizing, but then he remembers the tea thing and instead nuzzles himself onto him for good measure. That'll teach him. “And the bulk of it sounds made up anyways.”
“W-well I….” Azul trails off, his expression unreadable from the spot Yuu is in. But he can feel the way he uncomfortably shifts under him. “How about… I propose a deal, then? If you tell me about your nightmare I could tell you about a recurring one I have…”
“Hmm, Not good enough.” Yuu lifts his head back up to look at the other boy in his eyes, pursing his lips. “It can't be just a nightmare. It has to be something… something that keeps you up at night. Something that follows you even deep into the day. Something that won't get out of your head no matter how hard you try.”
“Yuu…”
“We've got a deal?” Yuu extends his hand out for a handshake, and with a bit of hesitation, Azul takes it.
“… We do.”
With a small squeeze, they release the handshake and Azul's hands return to his teacup, gently rubbing the handle with his thumb. “I'm just not sure if what I have to tell would be new information to you. Most of my nightmares are about my overblot or my childhood. Both things you're uncomfortably privy of.”
“It doesn't need to necessarily be a nightmare… just something that affects you.” Yuu turns to face him, placing his own cup and saucer down at the small coffee table in front of them. “I just don't get why you're so adamant on knowing… It's not exactly useful information.”
“You know far more about me than I do you. Even if it isn't relevant. That isn't exactly fair to me.”
“But then what?” Yuu shrugs, crossing his arms. “What will you do once I tell you more about me?”
That was the crux of the problem. What will Azul do? He was aleady known all-throughout NRC as the keeper of the most damning and embarrassing secrets amongst the student body, and even after his contracts were turned to dust, he still held information powerful enough to sway even the faculty. Why would Yuu, who was at such a disadvantage in everything else, give up the one thing he had?
“…You said you wanted to be friends. And I…” Azul's voice lowers to a whisper. His shoulders slump down and he averts his gaze down to the floor.
Those words hit Yuu like a ton of bricks. Azul shouldn't sound this earnest. This vulnerable. He searches for a hint of deceit in his voice, that same over-dramatism and fake insult he used when he tried to pretend he was hurt. But there was none. Azul's shadowed face looked deceivingly genuine in the dim lights of the common room, and Yuu was afraid he might be too tired— or perhaps too soft— to sus out his body language tonight.
“…I… want you to trust me.” Azul finally admits. “I know it sounds ironic coming from me but I, on the very least… Trust you. And I'd like to be your friend. If you're willing to accept my offer.”
“Azul…” Yuu bites his lower lip, his heart and brain waging a battle that the latter is quickly losing. He tentatively tucks a loose lock of Azul's hair back, the back of his fingers gently brushing against the other boy's cheek before he pulls back. “I'll tell you… but it isn't a pretty story.”
Azul nods in understanding as his posture straightens, turning his body towards Yuu.
Where should he even start? He can't tell Azul the full story. He can't tell anyone. At least not yet. He isn't ready to give up the fresh slate he was given when he was brought into this world. Not even for the boy he was desperately crushing on.
It did hurt, though. Knowing that Azul was making a real effort in opening up and he couldn't reciprocate fully. But maybe one day they could discuss more. When Azul's earned it.
“I guess, I'll just go on and say it.” Yuu sighs and looks at his hands which are no longer shaking nor twitching against his lap. “I… um… I found a murder scene. About two years ago from now.”
Yuu waits for Azul to react, to answer, but when there is only silence from the other side, he takes a breath in and elaborates. “I… um… my great-uncle, so my grandpa's brother, used to own this theater in a popular part of the city I used to live in. He bought it for super cheap back in the day, but as years went by the whole neighborhood had this economic boom and… well, suddenly the land the theater was in was worth a lot of money.”
“My uncle had always been kind but he was also soft and very guillible… and he ended up attracting the attention of the wrong people. At first they tried buying him out, offering increasingly larger sums of money. But when they realized that wouldn't work they resorted to other methods.”
“Suddenly, the theater he'd built from the ground up was almost sabotaged into bankrupcy. But my uncle was stubborn, too. And even though any sane person would've sold to the highest bidder and jumped ship, he fought tooth and nail to keep business running… but, well… someone got impatient.”
Yuu takes a deep breath, gearing up for the next part. He can feel Azul squirm by his side. The irony of the story must not be lost on him. After all, he must've used those same business tactics on other people to bring them to their ruin.
“My parents used to work a lot. And even though they tried their best, they couldn't always be home. So my uncle babysat me and my older sister whenever he could. He said he didn't want my sister to stop being a kid to take care of me so soon. I spent practically half my childhood in that theater. And even after I was old enough to not need a babysitter, I still made it a habit to visit after school and check in on him…” Yuu's tone wavers. “I um… I remember it being a normal day… My uncle was making preparations to do a Halloween play and he had asked me to come over and double check his budget and— well, I took a little longer to arrive than I should've.”
“When my sister and I went up to his office, he was already gone. On the floor.” Yuu touches his neck as he feels his adam's apple bob each time he swallows. “The murderer slit his throat. And my uncle… he was just alive enough to still be gasping for air— choking on his own blood as he tried to call for help. But the blood… I—” Yuu's breath hitches. “It was obvious he had lost too much blood to be saved.” Yuu swallows hard, and before Azul even has the chance to say anything, he pushes himself to continue. “That's my nightmare. I dream about the day he died. About opening that door and finding him over and over again.” Yuu purses his lips, releasing a long huff. “I…I don't want pity or condolences or anything like that. I've already gone through the mourning and the grief. And it has gotten better. I used to have those dreams every night, but now I only have them once or twice a week, sometimes less if I'm lucky… so I've just learnt to live with them.”
As he finishes, Yuu's posture relaxes. He almost slumps against the opposite end of the armchair as he already anticipates the awkward sympathies Azul might come up with. “… so please, don't say you're sorry. Or… or try to comfort me.”
He can feel the other shift, keeping his distance. The silence stretches uncomfortably, and Yuu is able to hear Azul's nails click against the porcelain cup. “… I suppose, knowing that, it's no wonder the Overblots are not as shocking to you.” Azul finally murmurs. It's a sweet, albeit clumsy attempt at humour, and Yuu can't help but snort a little.
“Yeah. You could say that… I'm just glad blot is not red.”
Azul stifles a small giggle in return. “I suppose. I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks so.”
It's small, but those words ease the tension a little. After his nerves steady enough Yuu lifts up his head to look at Azul. He can't blame him for being so quiet now. This is a topic that aside from family, he's only discussed with a therapist before.
On the very least, Azul doesn't seem to be too mortified by the revelation. That, or he's just hiding it remarkably well.
“You know, the color red isn't clearly visible underwater. At least not from the depths I'm from.”
“I… never thought about that.” Yuu admits. In hindsight, he should've known. Colors in general just look different underwater. That must apply tenfold for Azul's habitat.
Azul nods. “In fact, red looks more grey or black the deeper you go… and there's not much difference between colors aside from neons.” He turns around to look at the aquarium windows, his eyes becoming softer. “We're taught the closest approximations of them at school, but the first time I truly, really saw red was when I swam up close to the surface with my mother when I was younger.” Yuu waits for Azul as he takes a sip of his drink, but he's sort of figuring out the point of this conversation. “As you know, octopuses- and octomers by default have blue blood. But not all sea creatures from below do. Some still bleed red. But from the sea floor it looks just black to me. I have to admit… it took me a while to get used to bleeding red once I transformed into a human for the first time.”
“Yeah. It must've been shocking.” Yuu hums. “I'm sorry. I know I've been really insensitive regarding Overblots. I shouldn't be comparing the amount of trauma they cause.”
“You haven't been doing that… for the most part.” Azul replies in turn, nudging slightly closer. “It must be difficult not to do so subconsciously either.”
“Still, I know that Overblots are mostly deadly. I should be more…”
“Don't think about that.” Azul murmurs, and Yuu feels his hand over his. “You…. You've always been supportive of me. Of Leona and Riddle too.” Yuu's cheeks heat up, and he can't help but avert his gaze to the nearest fish swimming around the window. “You… always visited me at the infirmary while I recovered. Even after all I did to you. Even when I lost everything… I suppose, you can afford to be a little insensitive. After all the support you've given me.”
“Y-you act like I've done some grand act… I just did what anyone with basic empathy would.” Yuu stutters and he reaches to toy with a lock of his hair nervously. “It really isn't a big deal.” To be entirely honest, Yuu did go a bit further with Azul. He bought him fresh flowers for his room and brought him his assignments when Jade or Floyd allowed him to. He definitely visited him more than he did Leona and even Riddle during their respective recoveries. But it's not like his intentions were pure, either. Was anything he did for Azul really all that virtuous when he did it just because he had a crush?
“It still meant a lot to me. Even more so that you never asked for anything in return.” Azul retorts.
‘I want your affection in return, though.’ Yuu bites his tongue. He knows he can't just say that, and he knows he can't just ask for that. But he wishes he could be a little bit less selfish about it. Azul deserves better. “You don't know if I'll ask for something later.” He tries to joke, and it somehow works as he hears Azul chuckle softly beside him.
“Maybe. I have acquired quite the debt with you. Hence why you should allow me to help you when I can.”
“Are you keeping score?”
“Quite meticulously.”
Yuu snorts, finally turning around to face the other boy. “Great. Because I'm definitely not. You can pull a fast one on me and flip the debt around if you wanted to.”
“Perhaps.”
They return to a more comfortable silence, and Yuu takes the liberty to rub his thumb over Azul's palm. He really should be more careful about being too obvious.
“… What do you do when you have those night terrors?” Azul asks softly. “Does anything help to calm yourself down?”
“We've pretty much done most of it already. Drink some tea, walk around a bit…” Yuu clears his throat awkwardly. “And… well, it's embarrassing but I've got this thing called a body pillow back home. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about.”
Azul narrows his eyes. “I… know about them. One of my clubmates mentioned having one.”
“I- uh… I just bought a blank one. I don't know… it just makes me feel a bit safer to have something to hold onto.” Yuu shrugs, trying not to make it too weird. “I don't have one here, obviously, so I just grab some extra pillows from the empty rooms.”
“So you like cuddling something, huh?” Azul's smile turns into a smirk, and Yuu groans in return.
“Oh god, you don't need to say it like that.” He nudges Azul's shoulder. “But yes. And for the record, it's a completely normal human instinct to seek comfort like that.”
“Oh, I'm not shaming you. Octomer babies are much the same.” Azul croons, leaning closer.
“Are you comparing me to a baby?” Yuu pouts, pinching Azul's cheek. “Sheesh. And here I thought I was safe opening up to you. I'm hurt.”
“I'm not making any comparisons— you made the connection all by yourself.” Azul playfully pushes Yuu's hand away. “But I'm not judging you. I understand why that would be comforting.”
Yuu huffs, clearly skeptical of Azul's sympathy. “So, can I borrow some extra pillows then?”
“I unfortunately don’t have any.” Azul shakes his head and, to Yuu’s surprise, he becomes slightly sheepish. “But, you know, cuddling is not… uncommon for cephalopods in general. I wouldn’t mind it if… well, if it makes you feel better…”
“Are you… are you being serious?” Yuu can feel his face flush up to his ears at the suggestion, and he can't help the spark of hope that ignites inside his heart. “Y-you're not messing with me, are you?”
“I- I'm not joking!” Azul's voice falters as he tenses up, sounding more insulted than he should. “T-that's what friends are supposed to do, aren't they? S-support each other through tough times-”
“You're so-” Yuu's breath hitches, and he can't stop the smile that blooms from his lips. Azul can truly be clumsy when it comes to genuine emotion, but it really is a cute attempt nonetheless. And he sees no negatives to it… “I might… take you on that offer.” He pats Azul's arm, trying to soothe his nerves. “If you're okay with it.”
“I am okay with it. That's why I suggested it.” Azul crosses his arms, getting a little defensive now. “I am always serious about my offers.”
“Of course…” Yuu chuckles. This guy will be the death of him one day.
The two quietly go back to the kitchen and quickly clean up. Yuu's stomach ties up in knots as he waits for Azul to finish washing the dishes, and it twists even further as they walk back to the bedroom. Even if Azul says it is, is this really okay? Yuu knows this is just to help him back to sleep, but it still feels wrong when he has a crush the other isn't aware of. When they get in bed, Yuu tentatively reaches out. His fingers linger over the fabric of Azul's pajamas and waits for him to reciprocate.
He can hear Azul take a deep breath as he also shifts forward and also hesitantly wraps his arms around Yuu in a loose embrace, still keeping a small distance between each other. Allowing— No, urging Yuu to set the appropriate position instead.
Yuu swallows hard. Azul is just trying to be considerate of his personal space, but it is becoming increasingly hard to keep his composure. He slowly pulls Azul close, his grip becoming more firm. At the end of the day, he'll never get a chance like this ever again. He might as well just… enjoy it. Just a little. Even if he still feels guilty. “… Is this good?” Yuu murmurs, shifting so they're both facing each other as they hug.
“It's good.” Azul responds. Without the light of the common room's windows it's hard to read his face. “Are you?”
“Y-yes… I think” Yuu can only hope Azul can't feel his heart hammering out of his chest when they're so close like this.
“… Good night, then.”
“Good night…”
Yuu wakes up again. Cold sweat covering his body. The faint metallic smell of blood lingers in his nostrils, clouding his senses for a brief second before he feels something shift beside him in bed.
"Nightmare...?" Azul's soft, raspy voice breaks through the silence, his hand lifting up to blindly search for Yuu's arm.
"Yeah... It's pretty fuzzy now, though." Yuu murmurs, gently leading Azul's hand to his chest. "I'll be fine."
"... are you sure? No tea or water?" Azul slowly sits up from his spot, gently cupping Yuu's cheek once his eyes get used to the darkness enough.
Yuu shakes his head as he leans into Azul's touch. "No... I'll be fine." He wordlessly lays back down, Azul following his lead. As soon as they're back inside the covers, Yuu nuzzles himself into Azul's chest, the other man wrapping his arms securely around his frame. "Just cuddling is enough...."
"Alright..." Azul sighs, pressing a kiss to Yuu's head. "Wake me up if you need it, though. I don't want you to go through it alone again..."
"Yes, yes. I promise." Yuu hums, smiling in spite of the chills that ran down his spine a few seconds ago. "Just go back to sleep..."
Azul huffs slightly, his breath tickling Yuu's hair. "What's the point of 'in sickness and in health' if you don't allow me to help you?"
"You already do plenty, love..." Yuu chuckles softly, lifting his face up to plant a kiss to his husband's collarbone. "Waking up next to you is enough to calm my nerves ..."
Azul hums, one hand sliding up from his hips to his waist. Climbing from his arm to finally land at his cheek. He gently coaxes Yuu to look at him, his thumb gently grazing over the dark circles under his husband's eyes. "The children are better liars than you, you know."
"That's because they're mini Azuls. Tiny little schemers, just like their Daddy." Yuu croons, nuzzling Azul's hand shamelessly. "Go back to sleep~ I promise I'm fine~" He murmurs, closing his eyes once more. "I'll wake you up if it gets bad…"
"Promise?" Yuu can hear the skepticism in Azul's voice, and he can't help but stifle a giggle.
"Promise. It's not like I can't hide this from you anyway. You're far too much of a light sleeper."
"Mhm. That is true. And I'm grateful for it. If only for this one reason." Azul's voice lowers down to a whisper as he presses a chaste kiss to Yuu's lips. "Even if we stay up all night… I'll stay with you."