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Angin had been laying in his bed all day, staring at the ceiling, his arm over just above his eyes as he clutched his stomach. He felt sick, absolutely sick.
He sat up, picking up the trashcan just nearby and threw up in it. He wiped his mouth and wanted to cry and yell and mess up his room. But he remembered that he was back at Tok Abas' house and all of his brothers were here too so that'd make too much noise.
He placed the trashcan back down and curled into a ball, placing his head into his arms as he began to sob. It has already been a week since their last visit to Windara, but he couldn't get the images out of his head: He had gone mad after taking in something to boost his energy to defeat Reramos and attacked everyone else after defeating the emperor, he even hurt his youngest brothers. He only realized what he was doing when Fang and Halilintar held him back, it was awful to see it for himself.
As soon as they got home, he hadn't left his room since. He only opened the door to get food but that's it.
Knocking, he kept hearing the door knock. He didn't realize that he had zoned out and he didn't seem to know how long the knocking had been going on for.
He wanted to ignore it, he didn't want the others to talk to him not after for what he did.
"An, could you please open the door?"
That familiar nickname, that voice, it had to be him.
He slowly got up and stared at the door of his room. He nearly tripped but caught himself by holding onto the wall. He staggered over and stared at the door knob for a moment.
After a few seconds, he opened the door. As he expected, Petir was standing right there.
"Hey."
"Hi."
Silence fell upon the duo. Petir stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, making the other lean against his body as they walked back to his bed. He sat Angin down looking down at him with a look of worry.
"How're you holding up?" He asked, his voice softer than usual, like if he said anything wrong or even in the wrong tone that it would break him.
"Her Highness Kuputeri should've just locked me away. I don't deserve to be here."
"You saved Windara from nearly being taken over by a power hungry emperor. I'm sure even she'd understand."
The younger one looked down at his hands, clenching them into fists. He wanted to believe his older brother's words but he couldn't get those images out of his head.
Petir sighed and sat down beside him, looking at him. He didn't say anything because he couldn't think of anything to say.
"...I hurt them. I hurt them all, Hali."
The brunet was on the verge of tears, looking down at the ground as his body began to shake.
"I couldn't control myself and nearly destroyed the palace. I-I nearly killed Her Highness and Cahaya! Cahaya's still a kid and I nearly killed him with that attack! I shouldn't be h-"
"Taufan."
His eyes widened as he looked over at him, Petirs' expression unreadable.
"None of this is your fault. You did what you had to."
The older one placed his hands on the other's shoulders, eyes narrowing as he stared at him. The younger one couldn't hold it in anymore, tears rolled down his cheek as he hugged the other, holding onto him as if he was going to fade away. Petir didn't do anything, letting him sob into his arms.