Chapter Text
I sit up, gasping for air. Mom is sitting right there with that look of worry on her face, but I’m not outside the Squawk anymore. I look around, trying to piece together where I’m at.
“Oh, Will,” she breathes and pulls me into a hug.
“Is he ok!”
I whip my head around, and El is barging in, dripping wet, with Hopper and Mike following. I can feel mom’s head nodding yes and hear her breathe, “Yeah.”
“Vecna’s going to kill Max! We have to get to the hospital right now!” That last part was directed at Hopper and Mike.
Before I know what’s happened, the trio is off, leaving Mom and me in what I have discovered to be Hopper's cabin. God, I hate being here. This place is filled with nothing but negative memories. I don’t know how Hop and El can live here full-time, given everything that’s happened. I guess they weren’t held here for hours, fighting Vecna from fully possessing them. But still, the Mindflayer destroying the place, and just the reminders of the whole town splitting. There have to be better places for them to live. I hope they find a place to go after all this is over.
Mom interrupts my thoughts with a plea to eat, drink, and move, and just fretting over me as usual. I go along with her wishes and grab a bowl of cereal and eat it quickly before going back to the room.
I try to lie down, hoping to get mom off my back. But my interaction with Vecna is all that’s on my mind. I wipe my eyes, feeling like the blood is still there, dripping down my face, his claws wrapped around my head. I can still feel the vines rooting around, looking for what he wants. You’ll be my spy one last time. One. Last. Time.
I bolt up, breathing heavily, and start pacing the small room. What if I’m still a spy? What if this plan fails and it’s my fault? What if we were too late and he already got Max? What if Holly didn’t escape? What if she did? And now she’s all alone, because we don’t know where he took her. What if she dies trying to escape? I won’t be able to look at Mike again if she’s gone. It’ll be all my fault.
“Will?” Mom walks in, “Hopper just radioed. Max is safe. She got out.” I let out a sigh of relief and sit down on the edge of the bed, putting my head in my hands. Mom joins me and continues, “Hey, this is good news,” as she starts to rub circles on my back, “None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I look up, “But for how long, Mom!?” I let out before I can stop it, “If Lucas is right, today is the day, the day Vecna’s gonna act. I thought I had him. But the truth… The truth is, I never stood a chance. And he knew it. He’s always known it. That’s why out of everyone in Hawkins, he chose me. Because he knew I was weak and that he could control me.” And I’ve started crying. Again! Why am I always fucking crying?
“That’s not true.”
“It is, Mom. It is.” I whispered, “I was his vessel. A vessel to channel his powers, to spy, and... and to build.”
“To build?”
“He told me today that I built the tunnels. They didn’t spread from the gate on their own. Every night, I jacked into the hive and took control of the vines, using them to tunnel, infecting our world with the Upside Down. So many died because of me. And if I could do all of that, what could he do with 12 more like me?” I put my head back into my hands and start fully crying.
“You listen to me. None of what happened is your fault.” Mom says, lifting my head to look at her, “Do you hear me? And as for his big plan, he’s not gonna have 12 vessels, or whatever the hell he calls them, because he just lost Holly, and she’ll know where the other are. Sweetheart, this is not over, not by a long shot.”
“You’re wrong. You’re wrong, Mom. It’s all my fault.”
She wraps me in another hug. “No. No, baby. None of this is your fault.”
We sit like that for a while. She holds me as I continue to sob until the Walkie crackles, “Joyce, it's Hop. Are you there?”
Mom picks up the walkie, “Yeah, we’re here.”
“The hospital is swarming with the military. We got Dustin’s location, so we’re gonna grab him and the others, then head back to the Squawk. Can you meet us there?”
Mom looks at me, and I give her a nod. “We sure can.”