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Since Mira has had anxiety, she´s had people making her feel bad for it.
Mostly her parents.
They are honest, hard working people, they had no tolerance for the attention seeking, spoiled problem child´s tantrums and fake tears.
When she asked for support, she got sneers and words of humiliation, and when she hid from parties she got dragged out in front of all the guests, and her brother would loudly apologize to everyone for his “pathetic, crybaby sister, who still thinks she´s a lesbian”.
So, Mira became good at hiding her inner pain.
Really, really good.
She would shove the anxiety deep, deep down, letting the people around her see nothing but sharp edges and sarcastic eyerolls.
Then, flash forward to the formation of Huntr/x.
She loved both Rumi and Zoey as far back as in their early career days.
The love only grew.
They shared everything, and Mira ended up telling her bandmates about the anxiety that still occasionally plagues her.
The milder attacks, at least.
The ones that can be subdued with a hug or a hand on her shoulder.
She still keeps the really bad times a secret, not wanting to scare her new family away by having them realize how much trouble she is.
Today, she´s dealing with a really bad one.
It started during rehearsal, a sense of fear and dread, and it only grew, threatening to consume her as she held her facade.
She´s relieved when the rehearsal´s finally over, if only because she will be able to lock herself away in her room, and she silently follows her girlfriends back into the apartment, unable to even fake a smile as Zoey goes on about how excited she is for movie night.
At least Rumi looks happy.
“What do you guys wanna watch?” she asks.
Zoey basically starts vibrating.
“I already have 15 movies in mind!” she exclaims.
Rumi replies with an affectionate laugh.
“That´s great, but maybe you can narrow it down some? I´ll get the snacks”, she offers.
They both turn to Mira, still trailing behind them, her chest tight with terror.
“I´ll go get changed”, she maneges to get out, and she turns on her heels before they can respond.
Once inside her room, she closes the door tightly, letting the tears fall freely.
She continues to cry silently as she throws herself on her bed, curling up into a ball, like she always does when trying to calm herself down.
As she lays there, her thoughts grow darker and sadder: the other girls don´t really love her.
They only keep her around because the Honmoon requires three people to be upheld.
“I have compiled a list-!” Zoey proudly declares as Rumi drops off the heap of snacks on the table.
“Of course you have”, Rumi says, but the words are spoken with nothing but fondness.
“You´re not listening-!” Zoey whines.
“Okay, okay, sorry.”
Zoey holds up her phone. On the screen is a list of movies, impressively detailed, with trigger warnings included where they are needed.
Rumi takes one look at the list and decides she isn´t qualified.
“Wow, Zo, that´s a lot. Let me go get Mira”, she says.
Zoey nods.
“Good idea. I´ll set things up”, she says.
Bouncing with excitement, Rumi makes her way over to Mira´s room.
They have seen each other naked countless times, so she only knocks softly twice before creaking the door open.
“Mira? Zoey asked me to help pick out a mov-”, she starts to say, only to freeze as she takes in the sight in the room.
Mira is laying on her bed, tears streaming down her face.
She freezes, too, before she bolts upright. Starts frantically wiping at her eyes, while Rumi feels herself break at the sight.
“Zoey, something´s wrong!” she calls back towards the living room, before hurrying over to the bed.
Mira is sitting up, trying desperately to stop the tears from falling, and Rumi carefully climbs onto the bed to sit beside her.
“What´s wrong, baby? Is it your head?”
She gets a small headshake in response.
“Your stomach?”
Another headshake.
“Did… Did you read something bad?” the part demon continues, gently prodding, while holding a hand on her girlfriend´s shoulder.
Mira shakes her head again, more violently.
“I don´t know, I- I just get really, like, scared sometimes. It´s nothing though, I´m fine, I-”
“Your anxiety?” Zoey says from behind Rumi, the usually bright voice now holding a small, worried tone.
Mira nods, tears starting to flow again.
Zoey crosses the room, joining the two on the bed.
“Oh, I´m sorry. That must suck”, she says.
“We´ve got you. You´re not alone, you´ll never be alone again”, Rumi quickly reassures, pressing a kiss to the pink hair.
Based on what they´ve been told, the choreographer´s most anxious thoughts revolve around fear of abandonment, and she´d like to get that worry out of her mind as fast as she can.
Something seems to snap in Mira, and she breaks down fully, shaking and gasping and sobbing.
Rumi gathers her up in her arms, pulling her into her lap, and Zoey scoots up to sit beside her, carefully moving Mira so her legs are across hers, so she is laying across both of their laps.
It´s horrible, seeing someone you love having such a breakdown, but Rumi supposes this is better than the alternative of Mira shutting herself in with her terror, so she cradles the crying girl in her arms.
“That´s it, just let it out”, she murmurs, stroking the long, pink hair as Zoey rubs the choreographer´s back.
They sit there, gently holding and soothing the pink haired, whispering sweet nothings to her.
It takes a while, but the crying does die down, and Mira shuffles around in their arms, drying her tears with her sleeve.
“God, I- I´m sorry, girls. You were never supposed to see me like this”, she huffs.
“No, hey! Why are you apologizing!?” Zoey exclaims.
Lifting a hand, Rumi gently wipes away the tears from Mira´s cheeks.
“We want to help you, darling. We don´t want you to suffer alone”, she says, gently but firmly.
Zoey nods.
“Yeah! You should have told us your anxiety was getting worse”, she insists.
Mira leans up, buries her face against Rumi´s shoulder, and mutters something, her voice muffled.
“What was that?” Zoey asks her.
“It´s been bad for a long time”, Mira admits in a huff.
The atmosphere in the room grows heavy. Tense.
“Wait”, Zoey starts.
She pauses, and Rumi can practically see the gears in her brain frantically spinning.
“Are you saying you have felt like this before? How did we not notice?” she asks.
“Because she hid it”, Rumi says, sadly.
Something she would know all about.
Looking at Mira, the part demon shakes her head.
“I thought we were done with keeping secrets in this family”, she says, kissing Mira´s head before wrapping the girl in her arms, holding her tight.
Mira cuddles into her embrace, initially, but soon tenses up, peering up at her.
“F-family?” she asks, fresh tears filling her large, vulnerable eyes.
“Of course!” Rumi and Zoey both exclaim, in perfect and immediate union.
Mira blinks, like she´s confused.
“We´re a family?” she asks again.
Carefully, like she can´t believe it.
Like she doesn´t dare to believe in it.
“I mean, we are a unit, aren´t we?” Zoey asks, gently and playfully at once.
“Like a clump”, Rumi suggests, successfully lightening the mood as even Mira makes an amused noise.
Zoey lights up, playing along.
“Three people living together, occasionally sharing bodily fluids”, she giggles.
“Ewww, Zoey!” Rumi complains.
“Why would you say that?” Mira asks.
A good sign more than anything, because the comment seems to prove she is doing better.
Smiling, Rumi briefly squeezes the pink haired, holding her impossibly close.
“But, yes, of course we are a family”, she declares.
“And we´ll always be”, Zoey immediately adds.
Mira sobs, again, but now she´s smiling as she quickly wipes her tears.
“I love you guys so, so much”, she says, her voice quivering.
“We love you more”, both her girlfriends immediately answer, their voices overlapping as they both hurry to answer, and Mira lets out a watery chuckle.
“No- No, you don´t”, she argues, though her tone noticeably lacks any of her usual sass or confidence.
She just curls deeper in the girls´ embraces, sitting up and scooting over so both Zoey and Rumi can hug her tightly.
“Since… We are… On the topic of…Sharing secrets…”, Zoey says, after a moment, speaking between the kisses she is placing across Mira´s shoulder, neck, and then face.
“Oh, no. What have you done?” Rumi asks, her concern purposely badly faked.
The youngest actually squirms, and Rumi worries it could be something serious.
“You guys remember that week I went to see my dad? You both couldn´t find your favorite shirts, only for them to appear when I was back…?”
Rumi laughs, too relieved it wasn´t something really bad to be angry.
“Oh my god”, she just says.
“I knew it!” Mira says.
“I didn´t. Honestly”, Rumi says.
“You turned the apartment upside down looking for that hoodie”, Mira recalls.
“They smelled like you! I needed that to not lose my mind! And anyway, I gave them back!” Zoey defends.
“You are insane”, Rumi says, but her tone holds nothing but pure love.
They go on to just sitting there. Sharing lazy kisses, the kind that doesn´t need words, lips brushing lips, but also skin.
It´s like the three of them exist in their own bubble of love, separate from the rest of the world, broken only slightly as Mira starts moving back, her partners instantly freezing at the noticeable shift.
“Shit, movie night! I ruined movie night!” the choreographer exclaims.
“You literally did not ruin anything”, Rumi says, voice so serious it´s almost stern.
“Bold of you to assume I would rather be anywhere but here”, Zoey says, sealing the words with a kiss to the pink haired´s lips, slow but filled to the brim with intent.
Mira touches her heart, dramatically.
“Are you saying you love me more than… Couch?” she asks.
Zoey nods.
“I love you more than couch, too”, she says, the last coherent words any of them manage before they all burst into a loud, uninhibited laughing fit.