Work Text:
[James]
I was sitting in a chair at the clinic, waiting for my session with Mrs. Williams. I was texting Aunt Helena on my Nokia; I had to take off my glove to type properly. A few minutes earlier, I had left Sawyer, Poppy, and the children with my Aunt Helena. As much as I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle it, she promised she could manage; after all, it was her day off.
How’s it going over there, aunt?
[All good, I’m teaching them how to make chocolate cake, they almost put chocolate on everything lol]
Just don’t let Mommy Long Legs put Catnap’s head in the oven! You know very well what those two are like.
[Don’t worry, James. I raised you, Manu, and Ágatha. I can take care of 80+ kids.]
Are you sure?
[Yes.]
“James Savosen de Souza?” the receptionist said. I immediately put my Nokia away and looked at her, then replied, “Yes, that’s me.”
The receptionist then said:
“You may go in, James. Mrs. Williams is waiting for you.”
I sent my aunt a message saying my session was about to start; she wished me a good session, and I wished her good luck. Then I put my Nokia away and went inside.
“Hi, James,” Mrs. Williams said with a smile. I smiled back, placed my bag on the armchair, and sat down.
“Hi, Mrs. Williams. It’s been a while since we talked.”
“Well, you had to cancel the last session,” Mrs. Williams replied. “But how are the children?”
“Well, let’s see,” I started. “They’re slowly getting used to my apartment, even though it’s small. After all, they lived in that factory for a long time, and the factory was huge. Bunzo, the Mini-Huggies, and some of the Mini-Critters love staying close to me. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and they’re sleeping in my bed or on my leg; they really adore me,” I said with a light laugh. “Huggy and Kissy are adjusting too; they’re very careful not to hit their heads. They help me a lot with the Mini-Huggies. Dogday, even without his legs, helps me as well, though he’s very clingy. Catnap and Mommy Long Legs still argue, but I’m helping them learn to live together. Miss Delight also helps me with the Mini-Smilers Critters. Baba Chops and Tourtille get along very well with Yarnaby and the Mini-Nightmares Critters. Jack, Matthew, and Kevin—you know, the three boys that form Doey—still form Doey, but they’re trying to control themselves better. Doey is actually the one who helps me the most with the little ones. Thomas is also improving alongside Pianossaurus.”
“Uh, interesting, James,” Mrs. Williams said. “And that guy you mentioned in the last sessions, Harley?”
“Ah, Harley Sawyer,” I replied. “He’s doing okay. He’s still getting used to controlling just one body; after all, while I was still in the factory, I had to trap him in a single robotic body so he could escape with me and the others. He helps me too. I think he and Poppy are the ones who talk to me the most. Last night, actually, he and I talked for a while. I couldn’t sleep very well, so we talked a bit.”
“I noticed you mentioned Poppy,” Mrs. Williams said. “Is she doing better?”
“She’s getting there,” I replied. “Some days are good, some are hard, but she talks to me a lot. She’s opening up to me more than she used to lie to me back when we were in the factory.”
“It’s good that they’re doing well. From what I can see, they care a lot about you,” Mrs. Williams said.
I then replied:
“Well, I’m the only person they’ve trusted since we were in that factory. I didn’t expect so many of them to trust me when I first went into Playtime.”
“But I also have my doubts,” Mrs. Williams said, looking at me. “And how are you doing? Are you managing to handle all of this?”
I felt like I froze, but I sighed and answered:
“I’m managing. I’m taking my sleeping meds and anxiety meds. My sleep is still a bit irregular; it hasn’t gone back to normal yet. Almost every night, someone wakes up at my place because of a nightmare or fear. During the day, there are still some outbursts or crises.”
“James, I asked how you are dealing with this, but you answered in relation to the children. You’re not talking much about how you’re feeling.”
At that moment, I went silent. I looked at my hands, covered by my gloves, feeling the small scars beneath them. I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was strange…
“I-I…” I stammered. “I don’t know…”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I don’t have an off switch. If something happens to any of them, I drop everything I’m doing and go help—whether it’s stopping a silly argument, organizing things… or calming them down…” I said, taking a deep breath and holding back my tears. “If everything is calm, if everything is okay… that’s when it gets hard…”
“Hard how, James?”
“My mind doesn’t shut off… it doesn’t stop,” I replied. “I keep reliving everything I went through at Playtime and with them. I feel like I took too long to come back, to discover what was hidden from me… the decisions I had to make… all the times I ran just to avoid dying so they wouldn’t die…” I said with a dry laugh. “So, basically… I’m a do-everything person who neglects himself.”
“So you feel like you have to be strong all the time,” Mrs. Williams observed.
“Yes, and I feel tired—not physically, but… emotionally,” I replied. “Because if I don’t do it, who will?”
“James, there’s nothing wrong with feeling tired. You spent five days in that factory saving them; anyone would feel exhausted. But you’re not just tired, are you?” Mrs. Williams asked.
“Ah… the media…” I murmured. “It’s still the same. I gave about two interviews to calm the public down. My aunt managed to hire a lawyer to try to do something about it…”
“And public opinion—how are you dealing with that, James?”
“Well, some opinions are good, some are neutral, and some make me want to scream as loud as possible,” I replied. “I think that’s why I did the interviews—to reassure people. Not everyone is going to look at the experiments the way I did.”
“Well, even though I find them scary, I know they’re not dangerous monsters,” Mrs. Williams replied with a laugh. I laughed too; it was a normal laugh.
“See? You’re reacting differently to these feelings now,” Mrs. Williams said. “That means you’re starting to overcome this.”
“Well, I think it’s a process. After everything that happened… I chose to take them out of the factory and bring them into the outside world. These are the consequences, and I have to deal with them now,” I replied, almost without looking at her. She looked straight at me.
“James, we’ve talked about this. You made the right choice. Not everyone enters a factory and comes out alive, completely messed up, with hundreds of creatures taller than humans. You went through something extreme,” she said. “It’s not weakness to admit that it left marks,” she continued, pointing at my face, which still had scars from what happened, now healed. “Maybe that problem you mentioned—that if you stop, everything falls apart—maybe stopping is exactly when you start rebuilding yourself.”
“Yeah… maybe,” I murmured.
“You don’t need to stop taking care of them,” Mrs. Williams continued. “But you do need to learn to allow yourself to be taken care of too, or to let someone help you—your aunt, her fiancé, your friends, or even me here in this space.”
I took a deep breath, feeling my chest tighten, but not in that suffocating way anymore. Then I replied, “Well… I can try. But it won’t be easy.”
“No one said it would be easy. But you’re not alone in this process.”
The clock rang—it was the end of the session.
“I have to go now,” I said. “Thank you again, Mrs. Williams. Truly.”
“Take care, James,” she said. “And remember what we talked about today. You don’t need to be strong all the time.”
As I was heading toward the door, she spoke again.
“Oh, and James—tell the experiments I said hi.”
I laughed. “Okay, I’ll tell them that for you.”
Later that day…
[You didn’t think Angel James was the main focus, did you?]
After James finished the session, they went to Helena's house to pick up the experiments. In the end, they managed to make the cake, but some parts weren’t very good for a cake, and James ended up eating them and feeling sick. According to them, though, the cake was so good that the body couldn’t handle it—just an excuse so they wouldn’t hurt the experiments’ feelings.
When they got to James’s apartment, they had to help everyone take a bath. Luckily, James had bought two large basins, the kind people use to bathe dogs. That way, they managed to bathe everyone using the shower and the basins.
When it was time to bathe Dogday, Yarnaby, and some of the Mini-Critters, James asked Sawyer for help. Luckily, they managed to cover Harley with plastic wrap so he wouldn’t get wet. James was wearing pants, a sleeveless shirt, and flip-flops.
“Dogday, stay still, or I won’t be able to clean you properly,” James grumbled, grabbing the sponge and scrubbing Dogday’s arm.
“Angel, if you want, let me do it myself. I’ve bathed many before,” Dogday replied, trying to grab the sponge from James. He didn’t realize he grabbed James’s arm instead and ended up knocking James into the basin, soaking the completely.
“Ah, sorry, Angel!” Dogday shouted. “I didn’t see you.”
“It’s okay, Dogday,” James replied calmly. “I could actually use some water on my face…”
That was when James noticed Sawyer laughing because James had fallen into the water.
“What are you laughing at, Doctor?” James shouted at Sawyer. “Want to be thrown in here with me and get soaked too?”
“Unfortunately, I can’t, Angel,” Sawyer said, still laughing, scrubbing one of Yarnaby’s paws. Then he extended his hand to help James up.
That’s when James realized he had stepped on something, and it startled them. What if they had stepped on one of the Mini-Critters?!
“I think I accidentally stepped on someone in the water,” James said, panicking. Dogday replied, “Relax, Angel. You stepped on Yarnaby’s fur by accident. There was no one there.”
That relieved James. At least they hadn’t accidentally stepped on one of the kids. Then Sawyer called Baba Chops:
“Baba, bring more towels. James got soaked and will need some.”
When dinnertime came, James managed to heat up a lot of food for everyone. They had to go to the market almost twice every two weeks for food and supplies. No matter what the food was, the experiments loved James’s cooking, especially when they cooked together. After all, James had been a kitchen expert since they was ten years old.
James also varied the meals. They usually asked what the experiments liked and disliked, which helped him create new dishes. A few days earlier, they had made a huge plate of spaghetti with lots of sauce, and many of them loved it.
Many of the children wore towels, blankets, or long hoodies that James had lent them. James himself was wearing a black hoodie and dark blue shorts.
“Hey, Angel?” Mommy Long Legs’ voice called out. “Is it ready or not?”
“Almost, Marie,” he replied, stretching his hands.
“I can’t wait to eat your food, dad,” Bunzo said excitedly.
James soon served the food. Doey and Mommy helped the little ones serve themselves to give James a bit of peace. There were a lot of dirty dishes afterward, but James and some of the Mini-Critters washed and put away what they could.
At bedtime, everyone arranged themselves in a spot in James’s apartment. Even though it was tiny, they managed to find places to sleep.
Huggy, Kissy, PJ Pug-a-Pillar, and some of the Mini-Huggies gathered with improvised blankets and some pillows in one corner of the living room. Huggy soon made cute gestures to help the Mini-Huggies fall asleep.
Mommy Long Legs, Matthew and Baba Chops stayed in the living room with some of the Mini-Critters and Kevin. They started telling stories from books James had let them read to help the little ones fall asleep. They practically took over the entire couch.
Miss Delight joined the reading at first, but later went to the bathroom to sleep with Thomas Clarke, Pianossaurus, and Tourtille. The four of them slept in the shower stall bathtub with two pillows and blankets.
Harley Sawyer and Yarnaby took a corner of James’s bedroom, next to Catnap, who usually did his “night patrol” and wandered the apartment at night, only to be found sleeping in a random spot the next morning. Sawyer and Yarnaby slept in different places around the apartment and didn’t mind it. After all, back in Playtime, they had slept in random places in the factory’s underground.
Dogday, Poppy, Bunzo Bunny, the rest of the Mini-Critters and Mini-Huggies and Jack also slept in James’s bedroom. The little ones would literally wake up in the middle of the night and jump onto James’s bed to sleep with him. James didn’t mind; sometimes others would also come into their room in the middle of the night to sleep there.
During the night, James woke up a few times—not out of worry, but because of the gentle feeling around him. Some of the Mini-Huggies were sleeping curled up around his legs. Jack and Bunzo were sleeping together on part of the bed.
At one point, they opened their eyes again and noticed something. Poppy was sleeping while holding onto their right arm. James felt the doll’s small, delicate hands. They stared up at the ceiling and felt… relieved.
They hadn’t felt that in weeks…
Maybe the outside world was still noisy.
Maybe people were still judging what he had done.
Maybe the media didn’t know when to stop talking.
But that moment was comforting—for them, in that small apartment that now held the mess and laughter of everyone James had saved from Playtime.
James took a deep breath, then smiled softly.
And fell asleep.