Chapter Text
Leon is sitting on the other side of the room. His back is against the wall; his elbows rest on his knees, and his hands are loosely interlaced.
You notice the silence he’s wrapped in. That same silence he’s been immersed in for several days now. One that, no matter how much you try to hide it, you try to convince yourself otherwise, is hurting you more and more every day.
You’ve known Leon for years, and this is the first time he’s ever been this cold, this distant, with you.
He’s taken off his jacket and set aside all of his weapons except for his gun, still holstered at the back of his pants.
You watch him, thinking he won’t notice, but he does. Leon Kennedy always does everything when it comes to you.
“You’re staring at me,” he says without lifting his gaze. You don’t bother denying it.
“You look exhausted.”
He lets out an ironic laugh and shakes his head.
“That comes with the job, you know.”
“You haven’t slept at all, Leon,” you insist.
“Neither have you.”
His reply catches you completely off guard.
“How…?”
“How you breathe at night. You pretend to be asleep, but you breathe too fast for that,” he explains quietly.
He lifts his head, and his eyes meet yours for the first time in a long while. His pale blue eyes look at you kindly, though there’s a sadness behind them that you recognize immediately.
“You still wake up even when you try to pretend you don’t,” he continues. “You wake up, and then you pretend to be asleep again. You only sleep for an hour, maybe two, but just when dawn comes.”
His voice isn’t accusatory. It’s worried. Gentle. The same kindness he’s always shown you, the kind that’s only grown stronger as your friendship… or whatever it's what you have, has grown too.
You sit down on the floor in front of him, hugging your knees to your chest as if you were trying to protect yourself.
“I’ve been having a lot of nightmares,” you admit.
His jaw tightens immediately. You can see his concern deepen. Exactly what you didn’t want.
“I figured. The same thing’s been happening to me.”
Silence settles between you again, heavier this time. Even so, your gazes drift away from each other.
You’d been like this for weeks. You'd dare say even months.
You’d been forced to work together. You’d shared escapes, missions, rooms, and far more time than you ever thought you would. You’d bandaged each other’s wounds, taken watch so the other could try to rest, and even saved each other’s lives more times than you’d like to admit. Especially Leon saving yours.
You’d also had plenty of conversations. The kind neither of you dared to continue, the kind you both cut short before it was too late. Mostly Leon, who refused to cross the invisible line separating you from whatever happiness could possibly exist in your situation.
It was exhausting.
You’re the one who finally breaks the silence, finding it unbearable now:
“You’re shaking, Leon. You should get into the sleeping bag and—”
“I’m fine,” he interrupts automatically.
“That’s not what I meant. You know that.”
He exhales slowly, lowering his gaze to the floor again and fidgeting with his fingers, nervous. It makes you think that once more, he’s going to shut himself off, as he always does when he shows even a hint of vulnerability.
Instead, he stands up and sits down beside you and, completely catching you off guard, gently takes your hand, tracing imaginary shapes with his thumb.
Your breathing grows unsteady. He’s too close. So close it hurts. And it hurts him too.
Being this close to you feels familiar and safe but, at the same time, dangerous. Far more dangerous than he’s willing to admit to himself.
“This… is an exception,” he murmurs. “You shouldn’t get me used to having you this close.”
You look at him, confused.
“Why not?”
You don’t know why you ask when you already know the answer perfectly well.
You’ve never spoken about it out loud, but his actions say far more than his words ever could.
Leon opens his mouth, searching for the right words. Then, he stops.
He wants you.
He can’t stop thinking about you.
Every time you look at him the way you're doing now, he knows you’re his person. But, being honest with himself, neither today nor at any other time will it ever be the right moment to be with you.
“I’m not good company for you,” is all he manages to say.
This time, you’re the one who lets out an ironic laugh. Of course that’s what he would say.
“Leon, you’ve saved my life. Today, you did it again. When I was shot a few weeks ago, you took the bullet out and stitched me up, letting me hold onto your waist, hugging you too tight, when it hurt me. You’ve stayed awake with me so many times just because you didn’t want me to overthink.”
“That’s not—”
“That’s the exact opposite of not being good company.”
His shoulders relax, as if a heavy weight has just been lifted from them.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I’m not asking for anything, Leon,” you say softly, resting your head on his shoulder. “It’s just that… I like being with you.”
I'm in love with you, it's what you want to tell him instead.
That’s enough for him.
He pulls away slightly, making you lift your head. He looks at you deeply, surprised by your confession.
“Do you know what the problem is?” he says. “You make all of this too easy.”
Your heart skips a beat.
“Easy?”
“Yes. Easy. With you, everything is…” He forces himself to stop speaking, dragging a hand down his face. You can tell he’s nervous, something that doesn’t fit Leon Kennedy at all. “This shouldn’t be this easy.”
Unable to help yourself, you move closer to him again, reaching for his hand and taking it, just as he had done with you before.
Leon freezes, unsure of what to do next.
You feel his pulse quickening beneath your fingers.
“I don’t understand you, Leon…”
He lowers his gaze to where you’re touching. To your surprise, he doesn’t pull away.
“I’ve lost people, many of them, and especially people who mattered too much to me,” he says quietly, in a whisper that’s barely audible. “Every time I think I’ve paid the price for all those deaths, something even worse happens. Another city destroyed, another outbreak… All I do is leave ruins wherever I go.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
You move even closer to him, your bodies fully touching now.
“Leon…”
Hearing his name from your lips is what makes him look at you again.
“I can’t give you what you deserve,” he confesses, his voice rough but steady. “The last thing you need is someone who wakes up drenched in sweat, holding back screams from nightmares, someone who disappears from your life every other moment because the world might end at any time. You deserve…” His voice breaks. Still, he forces himself to continue. “You deserve someone who gives you everything you deserve, and more.”
Even though you knew this conversation, this confession, would come eventually, it doesn’t stop the pressure in your chest, the disappointment.
“You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Leon.”
“Yes, I do,” he swallows hard. “I do, because I truly care about you.”
Your hand slides from his wrist into his palm. He interlaces your fingers as if you’d done it a thousand times before, when in reality this is the first time you’ve ever been this close, this vulnerable with each other.
Leon takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds.
“You’re not broken,” you whisper to him. “You’re hurt. And there’s a big difference.”
“I’m tired of hurting people,” he admits.
“You shouldn’t be. You don’t hurt me, Leon. That shouldn’t worry you,” you repeat, trying to convince yourself more than him.
“That’s exactly why I’m afraid.”
Leon is so close you can see every single one of his scars. You notice the tension in his jaw, the way he’s choosing his next words carefully, fighting with himself.
“If I allowed myself to have this, to have you... I don’t know how I’d survive if I ever lost you.”
“You’re not going to lose anything. I’m here,” your voice trembles.
Leon leans over you just a little, enough for your foreheads to touch, and your lips as well. You feel his breath, his desire to kiss you; the way he pulls you closer, his breathing turning uneven.
But, as he always does, he never crosses that line.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, regretful.
He’s sorry for loving you, truly loving you, and not being brave enough to say it. For loving you in silence more than he has ever loved anyone.
You close your eyes, pressing your forehead more firmly against his.
“Leon…”
His right hand slides to your waist, wrapping around it. He holds you and doesn’t let go. He doesn’t want to risk doing so and facing your reality once again.
“You make me forget everything when we’re like this. And honestly… it terrifies me. It really terrifies me,” he admits.
You smile sadly, even though he can’t see it.
“Then stay scared, Leon. Stay like this. With me.”
He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t move away either.
Leon Kennedy is in love with you, and he has been for quite some time.
You know it, just as you know he doesn’t believe he has the right to say it out loud. To you. At least not yet.
You stay wrapped in each other’s arms, stretching the moment even though you know it will only make the separation hurt more.
You know that, as time passes, it will hurt more.
But even so, you have hope in him and, in some way you can’t quite explain, you’re more than willing to wait for him.