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Tenna's screen flickered on.
The cold of the snow against his metal frame froze him to the core. He reached up to dust the frost off his suit.
Tenna looked around, feeling lost.
He saw snow all around him, but no exit.
He felt an odd sort of ache in his arms, so he rotated them, making sure they were still in their sockets. Must've just slept wrong.
He glanced around, before cautiously calling, “Mike!”
With the only response being his echo, Tenna slowly stood up.
“Hello?” he called out, starting to feel uneasy and alone.
He slowly spun around, looking for any possible door or exit.
“HELLOoo…” he trailed off as he saw it.
It was some sort of machine; that's all Tenna understood about it. It was tall enough to make Tenna shrink a little at the sight of the ghastly thing.
Its sharp, almost armor-like exoskeleton was rusted, but Tenna could guess it used to be pink.
Thin wires seemed to slither inside, just barely visible if he craned his neck to see behind the armour. The wires' squirming moved the thing's head ever so slightly. The head was too big for the body, which explained why it was hanging low. Tenna reached out, but its black, matted hair made him recoil momentarily.
Tenna swallowed hard before gently knocking on the thing's chest. “H-hello?”
Right as he finished the word, the chest panel fell open, revealing a teal heart. Tenna leaned down to get a better look at it, before taking a step back. The heart looked almost like himself, with that sharp nose and wide grin, except it had something else.
Eyes. Eyes kind of like…
“No,” Tenna scolded himself quietly. “You see him everywhere you look. It's pure coincidence. Plenty of people look like that.”
He shook his head, before reaching a hand in to just barely press a gloved finger against the heart. It was oddly squishy, like it was covered in a thin layer of slime. Like it was organic while the rest was darkner-made. Tenna pulled his hand back and, reluctantly, wiped the organic goop on his pants.
There were thin green strings around its neck and every limb, attached to the sky somehow.
Tenna only noticed them when they moved, lifting the creature's head to stare at him silently. Its black, expressionless eyes matched the heart's. The pointed nose and smile also fit the heart.
The heart slowly moved out of its chest, attached by a beaded chain, and began to approach Tenna.
“Uh, hello?” Tenna cleared his throat. “Hey, little guy,” he said sympathetically, bent over with his hands on his knees.
“What’s your name?”
The eyes of the machine suddenly came to life.
One was pink while the other was yellow, but both were glazed over and empty.
The heart was quickly pulled inside, and the chest panel snapped shut.
“You?” The machine hissed like crackling static.
Tenna backed away, holding his arms up and ignoring the pain that brought. “E-easy there!”
The robotic thing cocked its head to the side.
“[Trash heap]... After all this [isn't it about time], you finally show your [silver screen]?!” The thing took a step forward.
“Ah hah…” Tenna floundered, “I, um, think you've got the wrong guy, pal!”
It extended its hand, grabbing Tenna’s shoulder harshly.
Tenna felt his fans whirring, trying desperately to not overheat as he felt his arm start to come loose under the machine's grasp.
That's when Tenna heard his own voice coming from the thing's mouth.
“I'm Mr Ant Tenna, and I approve of this product!”
He remembered going over that line again and again, his business partner wanting it to be perfect. It was for that mailman's- ‘No! No,’ Tenna thought, ‘This thing is trying to kill me and all I can think about is that ridiculous mailman? Get a hold of yourself, Ant!’
“Listen, sir,” Tenna said in as stern a voice as he could muster at the time, “I don't know who you are, but don't you dare-!”
Then its wings opened.
Large, metallic, bird-like wings blocked out the sky above him.
Tenna staggered backwards, pulling himself out of the thing's grasp, tearing his suit jacket’s sleeve.
“What are you?” he asked, struggling to keep the fear out of his voice.
“Don’t play [free koi pond] with me, [Boob tube]. I [no…NO!] what you're [doing it all wrong!] And I'm not [fall in love this season] for-!”
The creature cut itself off, and silence filled the air, before its eyes suddenly drained of color. Tenna took advantage of this and shoved the thing, its body unnaturally folding backwards.
Tenna decided to back up until he could run freely. As he did, he saw something in the snow beside the machine, and he felt his fans whirring once more.
There, lying nestled in the snow, like it was dropped by the thing, was his special darling.
Her teal hue burned blue by the cold of the snow.
“You…You!” Tenna yelled, growing taller than the thing. “Don't you hurt her!”
The machine seemed to have snapped out of its odd daze, as it slowly looked up at Tenna.
Tenna kicked the machine, making it stumble back slightly, and swooped down to grab his darling.
“Oh, baby, did it hurt you, are you okay?” he asked, cradling it close to his warm screen.
The creature hissed.
“That,” it paused, taking its time to stand up fully, “is [mine, mine, mine].”
It held out its gloved yet claw-like hand, and Tenna's darling disappeared from his arms and appeared in the thing's hand. Tenna shrunk as he stared at his suddenly empty hands.
“What did you do…”
The thing cocked its head to the side.
“What's it [$2 off!] ya?” The creature’s crackled voice spilled out of its mouth like a waterlogged animatronic.
“How DARE you touch her!” Tenna growled, but he only felt himself grow smaller.
The creature's neck snapped back into place.
It let go of his darling and Tenna swooped to catch her, pulling her away from the thing.
“Oh, honey, are you alright? Did that big, mean robot thing hurt you?” He asked, gently caressing her.
“Why do you care? It's just a [pipis].”
“I'll have you know that this “pipis” is very important to me!” Tenna held his darling away from the thing. “Someone gave her to me. Someone very special.”
“That is not your [pipis].” It held out its hand and another “pipis” fell from its hand.
“You make these?” Tenna couldn't hide his confusion.
The creature’s eyes went blank once more, but it didn't seem frozen.
“You… You really don't [remember me?!]”
“For the hundredth time, no!” Tenna said sternly, keeping his voice down for the sake of his darling.
“[10]a, it's me! It's your [Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]! I'm… I'm a [real boy] now!”
Tenna backed up, shielding his darling from the lunatic in front of him.
The creature dangled awkwardly in the sky, as another ad began to play through its mouth.
“Take a ride around town in our Cungadero! Only 800 Dark Dollars! Faster, sleeker, better than ever before! Come on down to Big Shot Autos and get yours today!”
Tenna stood there, his mouth hanging open slightly.
“What, are you saying you're Sp- The mailman?”
“Spamton G. Spamton!” The creature hissed out.
Tenna shook his head. “Even if you were him, you wouldn't be here. He abandoned me! He never cared.”
“Never [care bears]? [Aunt], do you remember how we used to… to…” It let out a comical gulping sound, as if from a cartoon.
“To [Paris, the city of love] each other?”
Tenna stared for a second, feeling his screen growing hot. “No!” Tenna yelled, before the flower blooming at the tip of his nose betrayed him with memories flooding back.
“W-we never loved each other! Y-you aren't him!”
Tenna backed up frantically, holding his head in his hands.
“[Cathode], I… I'm. Sorry.” The thing said slowly and deliberately.
Tenna shrunk at the sound of Spamton's voice, looking up only to see the creature. "Are you really…?”
The thing nodded.
Tenna carefully reached his hand out, almost cupping his partner's cheek, but he flinched away. Tenna kept his hand still, and he finally accepted the touch, even leaning into his glove and letting out a soft coo.
“Oh, Spammy… What happened to you?”