Chapter Text
I hesitated before placing my D&D book back in its spot, my eyes lingering on Will’s for a moment until I could hear the clambering footsteps of Holly and her friends running downstairs.
I pause on the steps as they run past me, all sitting down and starting their campaign, reminding me of the days when we would play D&D in my basement for hours, without worrying about some hell-bent monsters trying to kill us.
Will’s voice cuts through the laughter, reminding me of everyone waiting upstairs, and as I turn away from the basement, and catching a glimpse of a tear running down Will’s cheek. Something I would’ve missed if I never spent hours analyzing every detail about him, staring into his eyes and hoping for something more. When Will came out over a year ago, I thought there was finally a chance. A chance for me to speak my true feelings, to show him, because I hoped he felt the same.
And I hope he still does.
I finally snap back to reality, my heart beating painfully in my chest to the sight of Will standing in front of me now, the one who’s in love with his boyfriend in New York, the one who will never love me back.
Will and I walk to the dining room in silence, everyone sitting around the table starting to dig into all the food as I slide in the chair next to Holly.
Most of the dinner is quiet, except for the occasional sniffle and a “Can you pass the lasagna?”
And it’s all peaceful until my mom loudly sets her fork down, snapping me out of my trance of twirling my fork on my empty plate, as she turns to Will.
“Will, honey,” my mom says, smiling, “how’s that boyfriend of yours in New York? Carlton, if I recall.” However, unbeknownst to her, there’s the ache that settles upon me every time I’m reminded of someone I can’t have.
“He’s good Mrs. Wheeler, we actually just bought an apartment together close to campus and are moving in tomorrow.”
Scattered praises are exchanged across the table except for me, and to be fair, I wasn’t really paying attention to the topic of the conversation, just the sound of his voice.
“Michael.” I look up to find the whole table staring at me, waiting for something until my mother speaks up again. “Will just said he’s moving into an apartment with his boyfriend.”
“Oh-oh yeah that’s cool. Congrats.” I wince internally when I let my mood reflect my tone, knowing there’s some comment or question coming.
And I answer too fast when it does.
Will asking if I was okay.
Of course it’s him. He always knows.
“Yeah. Yes. I’m good. Just thinking about El.” A complete lie, but I can’t tell them “Oh I’m thinking about how much I love Will but I can never have him because he’s moving in with his boyfriend. Just the usual.”
The dinner then returns back to the usual silence for the rest of the time.
A little while after dinner, everyone’s saying their goodbyes and filing out the door, Will hesitating for a moment in front of me, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.
“I’ll see you around, yeah?” he says.
“Yeah,” I smile softly “I’ll see you.” I take one last look at Will before closing the door behind me and pausing for a moment to take one last look at this town. One last time before we leave.
I get in my car and turn it on, the hum of the engine ringing through the night as I watch everyone else drive off.
💛💙 —
With my keys to my apartment jingling in my hand, I open the door. The atmosphere of new apartment hits me all at once, the smell of the boxes and a bad cleaning product. One that I would have to get used to.
Whenever I think about Will too much I sit down and write my feelings out, mostly to my book about everything that’s happened to the gang. So I step inside my home and head straight for my writing room, my typewriter awaiting me.
I write for hours in the moonlight until my body aches for sleep.
And as I’m changing into my pjs, my landline starts to ring. I sluggishly move out of my room and into the hall to the phone while thinking “Who could possibly be calling me at four in the morning?”
But I never expected who would be on the other end.