Chapter Text
Dustin had asked Steve to go with him to Eddie's grave for protection, and Steve accepted because obviously. Steve does a lap around the small area to check if any of the basketball dickwads are around.
"All clear." Steve sits next to the headstone with a soft thud and sits still in silence like he was taught as a kid, letting Dustin do what he needs to.
Dustin talks, he tells the grave all about the party's latest session and how much he misses him, placing down the one flower he could afford. He wipes the stoneface clean, washing away the graffiti, which to Dustin seemed to be slowing down in frequency. He talks about everything that comes to his mind.
Steve can see how much Dustin misses Eddie. He'd question how anyone could miss someone after barely knowing them for that long but... Steve knows how it feels to miss someone you barely know. Apparently, in a few different ways, too.
After a while, Dustin stops talking. They just sit there in silence, it's a nice day after all. Dustin picks at the grass while Steve plays with the pile of chrysanthemums on the ground that lies next to Dustin's single dahlia.
"What's with the chrysanthemums?" He asks softly before chuckling. "Didn't think anyone else would want to give the freak flowers, especially this type."
Dustin raises a brow. "What's wrong with crythmans... Or whatever?"
"Chrysanthemums." Steve corrects. "They mean love and passion and deep desire. Someone really... Liked him."
"And this one? What does this mean, Steve?" Dustin asks boredly pointing to his own flower.
"Uh... For your relationship with Eddie, dahlias reflect the fun and resilience of your friendship. Dahlias can mean romantic, sure but they're really good for sibling-like bonds too." Steve clicks his fingers. "Oh, they mean strength, change, and creativity as well. Very Eddie-like, good choice."
"Do I want to know why you know all this?" Dustin asks confused.
Steve shrugs. "I've given a lot of flowers to a lot of people. You have to know what they mean to not upset or lead anyone on."
"So you're saying someone was in love with Eddie and it's definitely not that they just picked out metal-looking flowers?"
"Is that why you pick a dahlia?"
Dustin shrugs. "Yeah, didn't think he'd care what kind of flower it was. Plus the one I got looks pretty similar to those ones."
"You're ridiculous Henderson." Steve sighs, going back to fidgeting with the chrysanthemum's soft petals. "At least you had good intuition."
"Why do you care? They're just flowers."
Steve tsks. "Flowers are the socially acceptable way of showing you remember someone. You have to put care into it." He sighs. "I just wanted to know if you knew who left them. Like, one of the team?"
Dustin shrugs again. "Not that I know of. But if we go by your theory, then it's someone who had feelings for him before he died. We'd remember a girl being in love with him right?" He says slowly getting more intrigued by this mystery.
Steve cringes, he really shouldn't be talking about this. "Yeah... Definitely no girl would have been into him..."
"Hey! He could have pulled." Dustin defends his deceased friend.
"Eddie wouldn't have been into any girl." Steve says leaning against the headstone.
"You talk like you were the one who was his friend." Dustin huffs.
"What?" Steve sits up. "No, I just... It's a fact. He wouldn't have wanted any girl, even if she was throwing herself at him."
Dustin raises his eyebrows again. "Are you suggesting that THE Eddie Munson was gay?" He bites his bottom lip sceptical.
Steve rolls his eyes. "I wasn't suggesting anything. Just... Finish up here."
"Are you not telling me something? Were you secretly Eddie's friend?"
Steve shakes his head. "No, I was not friends with the freak. The first friendly conversation I had with him, you were there and like half our group. Didn't really have that much time to get to know him properly."
"So why are you acting as if you do know him?"
"I'm not!" Steve stands up. "Now hurry up before I leave your ass here." He says walking over to a tree.
Dustin gives him the side eye at his dramatics. "Fine. Don't know what's got you all up in arms all of a sudden." He mutters with a head shake.
Steve grumbles but watches from afar as Dustin continues his one-sided conversation. The man pouts, running his fingers through his hair. He's kicking himself for making an inside joke and making Dustin suspicious of him, suspicious of Eddie.
"Damn, stupid, Harrington as usual..." He mutters to himself, tugging at his hair.
"Steve!" Dustin calls out to him. "Can you stop having your mental breakdown and drive me home? Let's go!"
Steve huffs and walks towards him, arms crossed. "You don't have to be a dick about it!"
Dustin rolls his eyes and Steve lets him walk ahead of him, stopping once he knows the boy isn't going to turn back.
He quickly turns back, running to the headstone, kneeling down, picking up a chrysanthemum and running his fingers over Eddie's name. "Sorry you had to see that. I shouldn't have done it. I'll be back later to make it up to you. Promise."
He checks that Dustin is still walking before making his way to the next grave over, placing the flower there. "Hey, thanks for letting us talk with him, again. Thanks for always letting us, Ms Munson." He smiles softly before jogging after Dustin.
Dustin looks at him when he settles into step beside him. "What did you do? Trip? God, you're so slow."
"Yeah, yeah. Get in." Steve says, opening the car.
"Are we going to talk about you freaking out about me thinking you were calling Eddie gay?" Dustin asks when they're both in the car.
"No." Steve's being blunt but that's not his secret to tell.
Dustin hums in thought. "It would kinda make sense. Wouldn't change how I saw him..."
"Yeah?" Steve's voice is low, meek even. "If he were still here, you'd be fine with him being gay?"
Dustin shrugs. "Why would it change anything? I mean, we hung out because we're freaks. But you're probably right, I never saw him around any girls, not in any sort of interested way. But then again, none of us ever were."
Steve stays quiet as he drives. He nods after he notices Dustin staring at him waiting for a response.
Dustin gives up on a verbal response. "Was Eddie gay?"
Steve sighs. "How would I know?"
"Because you're acting like this conversation is personal."
Steve raises an eyebrow and quickly looks over at him before returning to the road. "What would it have to do with me?"
"Because, Steven, you're acting like you would if I were talking about Nancy. Squirming in your seat and acting like you don't care. But like worse, like you're hiding more than just your own feelings."
"Yeah... Well... Some secrets aren't my own to share." Steve says as he pulls in front of Dustin's house.
"You haven't denied anything."
Steve shrugs aggressively. "I can't deny or confirm anything about a dead man that I barely knew."
Dustin crosses his arms. "And you?"
"And me what?"
The kid scrunches his face up in frustration. "You had a thing for Eddie? Are you not straight? Are you just lying to my face?"
Steve shakes his head. "I'm not lying to you."
"Steve!"
"No, I didn't have a thing for Eddie. I didn't really have the chance. And yeah, fine, if you genuinely want to know, if given the chance I would. If we're being technical, then yeah, sure, feelings for like three hours before he died! But we were kinda preoccupied!"
"So you're not-"
"No, I'm not fucking straight!" Steve sighs. "Sorry. Girls, yes. Guys, kinda. Make sense?"
Dustin nods. "You left the flowers didn't you?"
"Yeah..."
"Okay?" Dustin says with a shrug and a chuckle. "Why didn't you just say so? I mean, I guess it's weird for a 'straight' man to leave another deceased man flowers, especially when you barely knew each other, but you could have told me." Dustin talks through his thoughts. "Okay, but why are you leaving flowers? Like, I understand you had feelings for him before he died, but surely they weren't very strong, and normally you move on pretty quickly."
"He became one of our group or party or whatever. And it's not like anyone else, apart from you and his uncle, is going to show their respect. I just wasn't going to let his memorial place be constantly defiled."
"You're cleaning it up too?"
"Yeah..." Steve sighs.
"You don't have to do that. He didn't mean that much to you."
"Henderson. Don't."
Dustin frowns. "But you only had a crush on him for like three hours, as you said. It's kinda dumb continuing to pine."
"I said feelings not crush. And I'm not pinning, I'm just..."
"Why do I feel like you're still leaving something out? Did something happen between the two of you?"
"I mean we got closer-"
Dustin gasps. "Oh my god. You two started dating?!"
Steve squints at him with a frown. "Dating would suggest we had been on at least one date. And it's kinda hard to date when you're fighting for your life in the upside-down."
"Yeah, yeah semantics." Dustin waves his hand dismissively. "You two were together. You got together in the upside-down? No wonder you told him not to be a hero."
"I told both of you."
"You're not denying it."
Steve sighs. "It wasn't official or anything."
"You... You had a crush on him way before the whole 'murder allegations' stuff didn't you?"
"I don't know. I'm not really an expert in feelings, okay? Attraction, sure. I knew he was arguably an attractive guy but I didn't know I was into guys in high school. Especially not 'the freak'. I mean why would I think I had a thing for someone I bullied?" Steve shakes his head. "I may have slowly started to realise after I graduated but I didn't think anything would happen. Look, just don't tell anyone."
"What? Why not? Scared people will judge you for being into a guy?"
"No. I just... I don't know if Eddie would have wanted people to know. I mean, he probably wouldn't care, but just in case. It's not my secret to tell, you know."
Dustin thinks for a bit. "But he's been gone for a while now. Aren't you going to move on? I understand he was your boyfriend or whatever but you were barely together."
"Jesus Henderson, don't you know when to shut up? So nosey." Dustin doesn't respond. "I don't know okay? Maybe I'm just stuck in limbo or something. I've never had a relationship be cut short without an actual breakup."
"You're hoping he'll... Come back?"
"Well no... But I don't know. I can't let go of what might have been."
"Damn, that's mushy dude. Eddie-"
"If you say one more thing about him being gone and how I should move on, I swear..."
Dustin chuckles and puts his hands up in surrender. "Fine. I'll let you deal with it all alone then."
"Get out. I'm not going to spend the rest of the night with you here talking about this." Steve says trying to act annoyed.
"Yeah, alright. See ya." Dustin says as he climbs out of the car. He leans down once standing. "Try not to think about your dear Eddie too much when driving home." He teases before closing the door and walking up to his house.
"Damn, kid, always digging shit up." Steve sighs before starting up his car and heads straight back to the cemetery.
He walks back over to Eddie's grave sitting in front of it now, pressing his forehead against the cool stone. The sun's starting to set now and the wind is starting to cool.
"Maybe he's right Eddie. Am I being stupid?" He can almost hear Eddie agree. 'You're always stupid, Harrington.' Steve chuckles. "I know I should just 'move on'. We didn't even have a week of us just getting along. But I finally had you, and then you went against my word, like always, and now you're gone." He pauses. "We just left you there. How could we not try to get you back home?"
Steve flops back onto the grass. "God, I feel so guilty about it all. I should have stayed with you. Swapped with Dustin or something. I mean, that would have ruined the whole plan, but... Urgh!"
He looks up at the sky. "I miss you, you know. I wish we had the time to properly sit down and talk. About everything... And nothing. I wish this had a proper resolution because I feel stuck."
He shakes his head. "Look at me complaining when you're the one who died a hero's death. I would have done the same, you know. For Henderson. For all of them. For you." He sighs again.
"He knows by the way. I don't know if you wanted anyone to know. But the kid's nosey. He pulled it out of me. I feel like you wouldn't have cared either way. Maybe I could... I don't know... Use this to be more truthful about myself. To myself."
He sits up and runs his hand through his hair chuckling. "Man, I must sound like a pathetic schoolgirl or something. If you were here you'd probably tease me. If you were here, we'd probably be properly broken up, and I'd have moved on by now. I feel like maybe I'm projecting onto you or using you as an excuse."
He runs his fingers over Eddie's name. "I'm sure I'll move on eventually. You know me, Hawkins man whore. Can't go too long without getting his dick wet." He says in a weak joke. He chuckles slightly. "Maybe that's why I can't move on. Didn't get to add you to my conquest list." He cringes at his sorry excuse for a joke. "Sorry, that wasn't cool. You wouldn't have been a conquest. Not that any of those girls were. That was a stupid joke."
"But you were different from the girls, not just because you're, were a guy."
He picks up one of his chrysanthemums, playing with it. "Do you like the flowers?" He asks trying to change the subject. "I got them because I thought they looked metal. And 'cause of all the other stuff they mean too. Would you have wanted flowers? Do you buy guys flowers? I dunno."
"Turns out I don't know a lot of things. God, how can you be gone, literally in another universe or whatever and still drive me crazy?" He chuckles. "I still catch myself wanting to pull you close to me, press my forehead to yours or whatever cute thing normal people do. But then I have to remember you're dead and that we were never like that."
He looks up at the sky, the stars now visible and sighs once more. "I should go now. I guess I didn't really make it up to you. I just ranted. Sorry." He stands and stretches. "I'll bring you something cool next time. Okay?"
He places the flower on top of the stone. "See ya next time Munson." He says before slowly walking back to his car, his shoulders are a little lighter after everything that happened today.
Little does he know, someone's hiding behind the tree, having just listened to everything he just said.