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Noah sits on his couch, rewatching the shit fuck of a finale that the duffers decided to release. This is the worst thing he’s ever seen his life. His DL Finn can’t act worth a shit when he’s having toact like he’s in love with a woman.
Herembers when he was in finn’s trailer after dark, the two of them wondering if they should just ask the fuckffers to just kill their characters off to avoid the humiliation ritual.
Noah rubs his head and anger courses through his body. He needs to get rid of these homophobic queerbating fucks.
Noah grabs his car keys and marches out to his car, jumping in and slamming his door. He jamsx the keys into the ignition.
The shitffers told him once their address (like he’d wamt to visit their house in the first place) so he’s going to end this once and for all.
He slams on the gas putting their address in his gps and starts zooming to their house 100 mph.
It doesn’t take him too long to get their at the pure speec he was going. He revs his engine and goes flying right towards the duffers house.
He crashes into their shared bedroom the two balding fucks cuddled together on their twin bed.
Noah rollsc down his window.
“You’re going to get it! This is for me, my DL finn, and all the byler shippers!”
Noah stomps the gas and flies towards them, runninf them over with a loud thud, his car going 90 miles per hour. His car bounces as he runs over the should’ve been swallowed fucks.
Once he has taken care of the mistakes to humanity, he slams on his breaks and cries out tears of joy.
“That’s what you get for not making byler canon and telling me to act less gay!”
He hears a gasp and turns to see Shawn Levy standing there. This fucker is going to get it too.
His car istotaled so he reaches into his trunk pulling out the rocket launcher he had incase things went wrong.
“Join the duffers in hell!”
Noah shouts and shoots the rocket launcher at Shawn, the rocket sending hin flying, a loud boom heard not long after.
He hears cheering to see his DL Finn standing outside, clappingvhis hands.
“Noah Schnookums that was the best thing i’ve ever witnessed. You saved society!”
Finn yells and Noah runs up to him and hugs him.
“Let’s go to my trailer I bought just for us.”
Finn grabs his hand and they start heading to Finn’s, no, *their* trailer, a weight being lifted off their shoulders now that the queerbaiting fucks are gone.
“and when i’m back in chicago i feel it..”
Joe Keery sings as Finn and Noah walk off into the sunset.