Chapter Text
I’ve just done it, the thing I’ve never thought I’d do. I sat down my family and friends, everybody important in my life and told them who I really am. The group has long since split off to make plans and preparations for the night that could make or break the world and I’m just here, the same place I was when I pulled back the curtain staring at nothing in particular. In my head before I did it, I thought that would be it, this weight on my chest would be gone, but I just feel worse than ever. Sure, my mom and friends accepted me, or at least kept their mouths shut until they were out of earshot, and Robin looked prouder than I’ve ever seen her, but it doesn’t matter because that moment, what should have been freeing and honest was based on fear. Fear that Vecna would use my secret against me and that the end of the world would be my fault. It might still be, because now there’s something new hanging on my conscience, the knowledge that I still didn’t say everything. I still didn’t tell Mike that Tammy is him. I doubt I’d ever be able to say it, not even under threat of the apocalypse, so my only option now is to get over him before Vecna figures out he can use this crush as cannon fodder. As much as I want to be over him though, I don’t think the sight of him will ever stop making my heart go twice as fast or my lungs go numb for a second. You spend your whole life dreaming of a person and it’s hard to get them out of your head when the time comes.
“Will.” And there he is, sending my organs into a panic. Mike Wheeler.
“Hey, Mike. Aren’t you supposed to be preparing for tonight?” I ask, my rather clumsily phrased way of asking him why he’s bothering with me when there are much more important things to be doing.
“I made a bomb out of a record player and figured that stroke of genius deserved a break.” He shrugs and sits next to me on the couch.
“How does that work?” My whole body stiffens up as he gets closer and I scold myself for making this so weird.
“The record acts as a timer for the bomb so we can make it out before it blows.” I’m not the only one making this weird, as it happens, because Mike won’t look me in the eye. I should’ve known coming out was a mistake.
“Oh, cool.” Is all I have in response, silence thick as the air in the Upside Down settling around us. I had hoped that finally coming clean would help me push my feelings for Mike aside, but it’s like now I can’t ignore them. They’ve always been loud, but now they’re deafening, screaming for attention over all my arguably more important thoughts. I try and fail not to look at him for a while until one of us finally says something.
“So, about what you said earlier,” Mike begins and my chest constricts tighter in anticipation. “Thanks, for being honest with me. With us.”
I finally draw in a breath. “Yeah, and I’m sorry if it’s making things weird now.”
“What?” Mike finally looks in my direction, his voice a little higher than normal.
“Me liking boys. I don’t want things to be weird between us because of it, you know?”
“Why would it be weird? It’s not like you like me or anything.” Mike chuckles and I try to laugh along with him to cover up the sound of my heart breaking a little more.
“Yeah, of course not.” I lie. It comes easily after years of covering up my feelings for Mike’s own good. What’s a little bit more?
“I just can’t believe I never knew…” He says, looking suddenly faraway. “Like, we’re best friends. I shouldn’t just be finding out about this when the world’s about to end. I should’ve been there sooner, right?”
“I guess life got in the way. I mean, I was possessed for a while, you got a girlfriend, I moved away, we went searching across the country for your girlfriend, shit happened.” I’m more than a bit bitter that Mike’s main reason for losing contact was Eleven, but he doesn’t need to know that. I mean, I made up an entire inspirational speech to keep them together. At this point I’m pulling more weight in their relationship than they are.
Then his knee bumps with mine. “Well, she’s not my girlfriend anymore, so I’ve got more time.” He sighs “But seriously, I’ve been a really bad friend for a while.”
“I haven’t been the best either.” I point out.
“Hey, I’ve been way worse, don’t steal my thunder, Will Byers.” And suddenly my frustration turns to laughter. “I don’t really know what I’m saying anymore, huh? I guess, I just want you to tell me things.”
“Yeah?” I ask with a tentative hope that I immediately crush like an insect. If I’m going to stand a chance against Vecna, I need to be over Mike and I can’t get over Mike if I keep holding onto this flimsy hope. He’s never going to feel the same and that’s the fact of it.
“So in that same vein, and I hope I’m not pushing my luck here, but who’s Tammy? Because I know you’re not talking about “Tone Deaf” Tammy, Tammy Thompson.” And there’s the Mike Wheeler I know, the one I fell in love with, and the one I’ll need to get over by tonight.
“Yeah, definitely not her. It was mostly a reference for Robin, don’t ask, but this guy,” You. “being my Tammy just means that he was the one who made me realize who I am in the first place.”
“Would I know him? Your Tammy?” Mike asks and for a moment, that curious puppy-dog thing of his makes me seriously reconsider my resolution.
“Now you’re pushing it.” I deadpan, and we laugh like old times, back when crushes and girlfriends didn’t matter so much, let alone the fate of two dimensions. We laugh like those late nights alone in Mike’s basement after a campaign, just the two of us at the age when two boys could be close and nobody would bat an eye, and we feel like friends again. Best friends. After all, that’s all we ever could be.