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1.
Mike stayed silent.
Will had just summoned all his courage, his bravery, to tell everyone how he felt, tell them who he really was, and Mike didn’t say anything.
He didn’t know what to say.
People were getting up around him. Hugging Will. Accepting Will.
Mike accepted Will too. His mouth moved. He stood up and almost fell over his feet and into the group hug surrounding Will. Mike didn’t feel the others in his arms, though. He felt only the thumping of Will’s heart.
The Heart of the Party.
That’s what Will had called Mike.
Mike the Brave, Heart of the Party.
That didn’t stop him from shielding his heart at all costs. Maybe that’s why he was the Heart. His heart was intact. He kept it protected, guarded. Behind walls that he didn’t let anyone get to. Not even himself.
That’s why Mike didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything.
His heart didn’t want to get hurt.
He wasn’t Mike the Brave.
He was a coward.
2.
Mike is the most idiotic person Mike knows.
Why would he say that?
“Friends? No thanks. Best friends.”
Why would he say that?
He meant so much more than that. Will meant so much more than that.
He wasn’t just his best friend. He was the other half of his soul. Tied to him inexplicably and inextricably.
The worst time of Mike’s life were the days Will was missing, when the only thing he had to live for was finding him.
If he hadn’t succeeded, he didn’t know what he’d do.
He thought back to the time when he jumped off that cliff. He thought to now, and the tower he was standing on. This time Will was here with him.
Mike wanted to say sorry.
Sorry for not saying anything.
Sorry for not doing anything.
Sorry for saying what I’m saying now.
Sorry for not being able to love you the way I should.
You don’t deserve my cursed heart.
It may be my heart that protects the party, but it can’t protect me.
Mike wanted to a swift kick to his head to knock some sense into him, get him to speak.
Whenever he tried to open his mouth, it didn’t work. He just continued to climb the tower, mouth sewn shut.
He gripped tightly on the rungs.
The only reason he didn’t consider letting go is because Will was right there next to him.
One day I’ll be able to love you the way you deserve, Will.
3.
Mike saw him off at the airport with a quick hug and a wave.
All he had said was “Bye. I’ll miss you.”
If it were up to him, Will would never be able to escape his grasp. But his mind didn’t listen to him when it came to Will.
When it came to Will his mind flooded. With feelings, memories, thoughts, wishes. He only lived on autopilot around Will, having no room in his mind to move autonomously.
He felt tears, the need of tears, clawing up his throat, but his mind only allowed him a shallow smile. An unaffected smile that hid the torrent coursing within him.
Nancy put a hand on his shoulder. She had come as well to see Jonathan off.
“You okay, Mike?” She sounded concerned, as if she could see the waves rushing in his brain.
Mike hummed. “Yeah. No, I’m good. This is just, uh, pretty surreal, y’know?”
That answer seemed to satisfy her.
“Yeah it does feel pretty surreal, doesn’t it?” She patted his shoulder and retracted her arm. “Wanna get some snacks from the vending machine before we leave?”
Mike nodded, but his feet didn’t move.
He hadn’t been able to name the feelings he had for Will yet, but he felt them crashing into him right now.
Will was gone.
He would be going through security now, and he’d be in the boarding lounge soon.
Before he knew it, he would be in New York, and Mike would be here.
He wouldn’t see Will for who knows how long.
With Jonathan in New York with him, and Joyce and Hopper in Montauk, there was nothing tying Will to Hawkins.
Would he ever return?
Nancy returned with two bags of Doritos. He hadn’t even breathed since she left.
She didn’t ask questions when a teardrop fell onto her ridiculously sized shoulder pad.
She just rubbed his back.
4.
Mike had been living in limbo ever since Will left.
There was no more water rushing around in his brain, instead it covered his ears and it felt like he was living half-alive.
His actions felt sluggish and his thoughts were slow.
The only time he felt any life in him was when he was writing letters to Will.
He told him what he was writing about, and what he was thinking of writing about. He told him about plot holes he’d need to iron out, characters to develop.
He told him about Holly’s time in school, and how Nancy had come out to him as a lesbian.
He told him all about his life alone in Hawkins and how much he missed having his best friend around. How there was nothing to do with him gone, and life had lost its meaning. How all he wanted was to see him again, even if it was only for a minute.
When he finished writing, he set the paper in his drawer and closed it, encasing the letter in shadow.
The drawer became full quickly, but he kept stuffing the letters in anyway.
One time Holly was in his room looking for coloured pencils and she opened that drawer.
Mike told her it was just ideas for the book he was writing, but she hugged him anyway. Later that night, Holly had come to his room with Nancy and they hung out with him anyway.
The letters were no longer in the drawer come morning.
5.
It was Christmas Eve and Mike was miserable.
He had never spent a Christmas without Will before. He didn’t want this to become a regular thing.
Lucas and Max were over and trying to force him into looking at Christmas lights with them, but he couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for it.
He’d be happier if Will was able to talk to him through the lights.
He let Lucas and Max drag him along anyway. Some fresh air would be good for him.
They circled the neighbourhood before heading to the Town Square to look at the shop displays and Christmas tree.
It was there that Mike’s heart stopped.
Standing in front of the Christmas tree was the Byers family. They were waving with smiles on their faces.
Before Mike realised it, he was hugging Will.
Will was hugging him back.
Mike, going against the current flowing through his body, his heart, stepped back.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
“Hey, man! What are you doing here? I’ve missed you so much!”
Will smiled and Mike’s heart thumped. “We came to surprise you guys! And I missed you too.”
Mike jolted.
Will missed him too.
Did Will miss him in the same way? In the way that makes it hard to breathe, hard to eat, drink, and sleep? Did Will write him letters to burn and discard?
Did Will love Mike the way Mike loved Will?
Mike wondered.
Did Will want to kiss Mike the way Mike wanted to kiss Will right now?
Mike didn’t know, would never know, because Lucas and Max, and now apparently Nancy, had joined them and Mike had to step back.
Mike was in love with Will. When had that happened?
On Christmas day, Mike gave Will an ornate canvas frame.
“I didn’t have time to get you anything,” Mike had told him, “but I found this in the basement and figured you could make more use out of it than any of us.”
Will had thanked him, hugged him, and gifted Mike a blue and yellow knitted scarf.
“Looks handmade.” Mike commented, because he couldn’t run up to Will and profess his love.
Will placed a hand on his neck, in the bashful way, not the sensing Vecna way. “That’s because I commissioned my Mom to make it for me.”
Mike passed out while his body kept moving for him.
Again Mike saw him off at the airport with a quick hug and a wave.
+ 1.
Mike navigated the JFK airport with the elegance of a baby giraffe.
He lugged his singular bag into the back of a taxi.
“NYU.” Mike told the driver.
45 minutes later, Mike was at NYU, struck with the realisation that he didn’t know where Will’s dorm was.
10 minutes of asking around later, and Mike was standing outside Will’s door.
There was water crashing through his skull, thrashing and biting at the bone and trying to crack his mind open.
5 minutes of psyching himself up later, Will opened the door and smacked Mike right in the nose.
It bled.
Mike kissed Will.
He pulled back.
There was blood under his nose.
Will pulled him back in.
The waves in Mike’s brain slowed, calmed, and drained through his spinal cord.
He’d never been thinking clearer now than in his whole life.