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Connor has never been this nervous in his entire life and his dad can't help but notice, from the way he's cussing in front of the full length mirror, that something's off with him.
He steps carefully through the threshold and laying with his shoulder against the doorframe as he observes the scene unfolding before his eyes with a small smile on his lips.
When his son turns around, feeling a persistent gaze fixed on him, he finally awkwnoledges his father's presence.
“I'm desperate!”
Adam knows he shouldn't be giggling but it's hard to when his son has been cursing all along while desperately trying to fix his mess of hair.
“I can see that.” Adam laughs as he takes a step forward, coming to a stop just behind Connor.
He looks at the desperate light flashing across his hazel eyes and it only takes one second to realize the nature of Connor's agitated state.
“First date?” He guesses with soft voice watching Connor nodding as he avoids to look into his father's eyes through the mirror reflection.
He knows his father still hasn't fully come to terms with his sexuality and he's too nervous now to deal with his look of judgement But somehow, maybe for the first time since he's admitted to his father that he's gay, Adam surprises him.
He feels his hands gently resting on his shoulders so Connor decides to meet his eyes.
“Dad...”
Connor's voice breaks just as his father's.
“I'm sorry..”
Adam smiles as he wipes at the wetness forming underneath his eyes.
“You.. “ he suddenly trails off unsure of what's the most accurate thing to say in that contest. He doesn't want to screw things up.
He's done it quite many times and for the first time he wants to be a better parent for the wonderful boy standing across from him, whose eyes are glowing with emotion and nervous excitement about his first date.
Connor can't hold back the gasp escaping his lips as he feels his father's strong arms encircling his waist, his face hiding into his hair as he breathes out.
“I Love you Connor.”
Connor closes his eyes.
He leans into his father embrace as he breathes sharphly through his nose trying to collect himself and holding the tears back. but at some point, when his father starts silently crying into his hair and when his grip tightens around his waist, it's impossible for Connor to keep it together.
This moment is so important for their relationship. It's finally a fresh start.. so every wall he's built until that moment starts crumbling down.
“I love you too Dad.”
He starts crying along with his father.
###
There's an huge smile firm planted on his lips As he walks towards the small ice cream parlor on the beach, where he's suppose to meet up with Jude.
For the first time since he's confronted his father into that hospital room, he feels like a breathing, living person.
As soon as the world flight out of his lips, hitting Adam like a slap in his face, He promised himself to never hide who he was ever again and if his father wouldn't accept him for who he was, Adam would have just sucked it up because Connor wouldn't have done that to himself and to Jude, again, but that doesn't mean it was easy to live under the same room of someone who despites you. Someone who doesn't get it. So It feels good for Connor to finally be able to confide in a loving parental support.
°°°
"Hey Connor."
Connor snaps back into reality, shaking his head as to clear it from any other thought that isn't Jude and how good he looks in that Dark Jeans and blue t-shirt.
His smile is as bright as the sun and Connor feels very lucky to be able to witness it.
He blushes slightly as he greets his boyfriend.
"Hey, Jude."
His smile gets even bigger and Connor can't help but smile along with his boyfriend.
Suddenly he feels nervous again as they stands there, looking at each other, unsure about the next step.
'What do I do now?' Connor thinks as he gulps. 'Should I take his hand?'
Jude looks as uncomfortable as Connor as he lets out a nervous giggle.
"So..."
"So..." Connor echoes him as he takes a step closer to his boyfriend, He comes to a stop just few inches away from Jude.
His brown eyes locking with Connor's.
'You're beautiful'
Connor thinks, but then as Jude's face turns completely red and a soft gasp escapes his lips, Connor realizes that maybe he inconsciously gave voice to his --apparently not so personal-- thoughts.
Jude bits his lips as he tries to refrain the huge grin spreading over his lips but Every attemps fail miserably because his lips tug up until it breaks on the most gorgeous smile Connor Stevens has ever seen on Jude's face.
"Thank you.. You're very sweet, Con."
Jude smirks as he replies after a moment. "And You're beautiful too. You're.. More than beautiful.. "
He wets his lips as he looks down at their dislodged hands before taking Connor's and intertwining their fingers together.
They both look down at their joined hands before looking into each other's eyes. The copious blush on their cheeks is still persistent but neither of them seem to care.
Connor gets what Jude's feeling in that moment, neither of them want it to end.
"I was feeling so nervous." Jude admits with low voice as he gives a small laugh.
"I still am."
Jude laughs as he shakes his head, his gaze falling downwards.
"I can see that.."
He looks down and he realises that his hand is shaking.
"You don't need to feel nervous." Jude smiles as he says. "It's just us."
Connor feels a bit more reassured by Jude's words. He's right. It's them.
Jude and Connor.
A label won't change that.
"It's us." Connor echoes him with firm voice trying to convince himself more than just Jude.
He nods as he holds both of Jude's hands in a firm grip.
"It's us."
##
Everything goes smoothly as predicted.
Jude's surprisingly the forward one in their relationship.
Who would have guessed..
He holds his hand the entire time as they walk down the beach, their bare feet dipping into the cold sand as the sunset starts creeping on the horizon.
This first date has been perfect so far, Connor thinks.
He offered to buy him an ice cream and Connor gladly accepted..
He needed something to help him cool down.
They sit on the sand. Their shoulders are brushing slightly as they quietly eat their ice creams.
What gets Connor's attention is how Jude doesn't let go his hand.
"I love Nutella flavour." Jude sighs dreamily as he licks at his lips.
Connor can't help but giggle as he finishes eating his Vanilla and Pistacchio ice cream, before he breaks into a loud laugh.
"What?!" Jude laughs along with him as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"Are you laughing at me, Stevens?"
"I would never." Connor promises with outrage filling his voice as he shifts closer to Jude.
The joyful, playful air surrounding him suddenly fades away.
Jude breathes sharply when he feels Connor's index finger tracing across his features until it comes to a stop at the corner of his mouth.
Connor smile softly as he traces some chocolate off his lips.
"You're such a mess."
"Remember that You like this mess."
Jude retorts with teasing voice as he looks down at their hands.
"You never stopped holding my hand."
Connor points out with curiousity filling his voice.
Jude shrugs as he says. "I can take it away if that's bothering you."
Connor shakes his head vehementely. He definitely doesn't want that.
"No, please. I like it."
"Well, I like it too so deal with it."
Connor smirks as he feels his cheeks turning pink. He's unsure if just asking it or .. Get over with it.
He goes for asking.
"Jude, I.. I don't know how to say this so I'll just say it."
"I'm all ears."
"I want to kiss you so bad."
He watches Jude's cheeks getting flushed as a low gasp slips out of his lips.
He laughs nervously and when he starts chewing his bottom lip, Connor feels a sharp pain spreading across his chest..
Jude remains silent for a long moment, his grip on Connor starts loosen up a bit so Connor can guessed he did something wrong..
When the silence reaches an unbearable level he decides to break it.
"We don't have to kiss..” Jude looks at him with hesitant eyes.
“We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with, even though I want to know why.."
Jude gulps as he finally looks up at Connor. The sharp pain in his chest returns the moment he sees Jude's eyes filling with tears.
"Jude.." His hands immediately reaches for his face, cupping it gently.
"I ever only been kissed by you. I.. Want to kiss you as badly as you do, Connor."
Jude admits with trembling voice causing Connor's heart to skip beats as he adds.
"I've never kissed anyone and I want to be good for you.."
"You are, Jude. You are good for me."
You're the best person I know.
"How can I prove it?" Jude asks as Connor's thumb wipes away one falling tear over his cheek.
There's only one way.
"Just kiss me."
Jude nods as he leans in. Connor's heart is threatening to burst out of his chest as Jude's nose brushes against his own.
The anticipation kicking in like a kick in the stomach, his lungs drained out of air as Jude's lips fall on his own.
"Jude.."
Connor breathes quietly before closing his eyes.
He's missed it.
He's missed The softness of Jude's lips and his soft breaths against his mouth. He's missed the racing pace of their heartbeats beating feriociously against their chests.. making him aware that he's not the only feeling that way.
He's missed how Jude's hands reach for his hair, gripping it tightly as to hold on to him.
He smiles as he feels Jude's lips tugging at his bottom lip before slightly parting them, running his tongue over his bottom lip.
He pulls away when he suddenly feels Jude freezing into his arms. Maybe he's pushed it.
His eyes widen as Connor catches his breath realizing that Jude's in a similar state.
"J-Jude I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me.. I just--"
Whataver Connor is about to say is being cut off by Jude's lips falling desperately against his own.
He sighs softly, overwelmed by the combination of Jude's soft lips moving against his own and the soft touch of Jude's hands trailing down his back and the amazing soft sounds escaping his lips.
Connor's still holding his hand well intentioned of not letting it go so he trails his free hand from his cheek to his neck, pulling him even closer against his warm body.
“Connor.” Jude moans with wrecked voice. His breathing sounds heavy and irregular against his lips.
“God.. Connor.”
“God, Jude.”
Jude lets out a breathless laugh as he runs his hand over Connor's cheek. The soft touch of his hand sending goosebumps on its wake.
“You have no idea how much I like you.”
Connor's heart aches from Joy at Jude's words escaping his lips.
“I like you too.”
Then Jude says with voice dead serious.
“Kiss me again.”
.. And Connor doesn't think twice before complying.