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Theerakit Kian Lee had always lived a life of extremes. Intensity was the standard. Rules were absolute. Protocols were non-negotiable. For a family that lived in the shadows of gray, hidden under society’s bed at night, the Lees had always comported themselves in this manner. It was the only true way to survive. Softness held little to no place in their world. Even their mother, elegant, soft, and graceful as she was, carried out their family rules. But Kian had always had a yearning for softness… and a vicious desire to protect it. Perhaps that was why he’d been so drawn to Peachayarat Janekit.
He was… everything, really.
Kian had never had someone hold him accountable to softness before. No one had ever valued softness within him. But Peach did. He valued all that was good and kind and filled with humanity. Some described him as a “simple man,” but Kian had no idea how that could be the case. The man’s duality was so apparent to him. He had a relaxed attitude, but he had also worked hard enough to become one of the most sought-after photographers in Bangkok at the age of twenty-five. He was gentle in nature, but firm when he spoke on his principles. He would drop everything to help others, but his biggest weakness was allowing others to help him. In Kian’s mind, Peach could only be considered “simple” to those who were simpletons themselves. As with all worthless opinions, he paid them no mind. If he was the only one to see Peach’s quiet strength, so much the better. He already had far too many potential suitors to contend with to begin with.
“Boss,” Mok’s voice cut through his reverie.
They were in the car, headed from the office back to the house after a long day. Kian had actually managed to get a decent amount of work done. Annoyingly, the reason for that was that Peach wasn’t there for him to focus on. He couldn’t help it! How could anyone help setting their eyes on the one who made their heart sing when they were nearby? Working in the same building as Peach and being unable to see him was torture. Though, Kian would argue that not having Peach there was even worse for a heart that was filled entirely with yearning for him. And then his secretary, the most loyal of all his people, had taken such an opportunistic route and overloaded him with tasks! Betrayal! Kian should have him replaced!
Remembering his annoyance with the man, he glared at him in the rearview mirror. “What?”
Unbothered as always, Mok replied, “I just got a report that Khun Peach just dropped off his sister at her apartment nearby and seems to be in need of a ride.”
Excitement and joy flooded through his veins like a tsunami. It looked like his day wouldn’t be a total loss after all. “Well, then,” he twirled a piece of his hair around his finger, entirely pleased. “Let us go and find him.”
“Khab, boss.”
The car made no turns. Mok had apparently already taken the initiative to head in Peach’s direction. Good man. This was why he hadn’t been fired yet.
Perhaps it was only a few minutes, but to Kian, it felt as though hours had passed. His leg bounced in anticipation, a tell he would not allow in front of anyone but Mok. After what seemed like an eternity, the vehicle finally slowed. What shocked Kian was that it didn’t slow smoothly, but rather jerked to a stop.
“Mok, what—”
The man had already jumped out of the car and was pulling his gun. Kian hurried to follow. If he’d been concerned for his safety, Mok would have said something. When he followed his secretary’s focused gaze, he saw a man threatening a Peach with a golf club. Kian’s blood turned to ice in a cold, dreadful rage. Peach seemed frozen, unable to move or speak, but Kian could not see his expression. It didn’t matter. He drew his gun and, in a breach of protocol he had never enacted before, positioned himself in front of Mok as they advanced. Mok didn’t so much as flinch in surprise, remaining focused and cool under pressure, which was good, because if he’d said one word against Kian protecting Peach, he would have fired him on the spot.
The man standing over Peach looked familiar.
Not that it matters, he thought coldly. Anyone who raises a hand against My Man will only meet one end, and it will be by my hands.
Then the disgusting worm reared back, club in hand, ready to bring it down with as much force on His Peach.
BANG.
Mok had taken a shot. It hit the ground in front of Peach’s assailant. The man scrambled away. Kian was already advancing quickly on the situation. Peach had fallen back against the hard, unforgiving ground that didn’t understand it needed to be gentle with him. The way he curled in on himself made Kian’s heart bleed. He crouched beside him and pressed His Peach against his chest like he belonged there. His Man. His Peach. His Heart.
“Khun Thee, please calm down,” the assailant entreated, trying to scramble away from him and the highly competent man standing behind him, ready to shoot for the kill.
Calm down? He wondered, pressing Peach even closer to him and covering his ear with his palm. Calm down when My Heart—the one that wanders the world apart from me in the form of a gentle, but firm young man—has fled his own mind in fear?
Peach was in his arms, but his eyes were glazed and terrified, body stiff and unresponsive. Kian leveled his gun at the man and fired. The motion was easy. He popped off one, two, three shots in the span of a single breath.
A hand shot up and grasped his arm.
Peach. “Hey… No… Don’t shoot.” he pleaded. Kindness was such a burden for his heart. That was alright. Kian was used to carrying the burdens of many. Of the Lee family. Of Arseni. Of his people. And now, he was fighting for the privilege of carrying this man’s as well.
“I’m not going to kill him,” he assured him. Peach’s conscience could remain clear and his artistic hands unsullied. “But he needs to hurt more than you do.”
Because Theerakit Kian Lee had always lived a life of extremes. Intensity was the standard. Rules were absolute. Protocols were non-negotiable. Family came first. And Peach, whether he was ready or not, already held Kian’s heart in his hands and a place in his family. And the Lees always protected their own. More than that, they always retaliated. Kian didn’t mind dirtying his hands a little more for Peach’s sake. What was a little more gunpowder and few more blood stains? The fate of the pathetic excuse for a man quivering and bleeding in front of him—Wiwid, his mind supplied, that problematic art director temp—was certainly not going to weigh on his mind.
Peach’s arm dropped away as he took the last shot.
The man in question fell back in agony, sobbing, begging for help. Help from anyone that could hear him. Help from them. Even help from the gods. He didn’t realize yet that it wasn’t the gods that held his fate in their hands. It was Theerakit Kian Lee. And if it weren’t for the man trustingly relying on Kian to keep him safe and sound, he would have taken the time to remind Bangkok why his family wasn’t known for mercy. But that wasn’t his priority. He had his beautiful young man to attend to. He was curled into him, completely limp and vulnerable, and Kian’s fury at the harm done to him would never outweigh Peach’s well-being.
“Mok.”
“Khab, boss.”
“Secure that specimen and have him picked up by our people. Then we’re going to the private clinic.”
While Mok carried his tasks out efficiently, Kian ignored the sounds of agony coming from the direction of the useless waste of space to lovingly carry the darling man back to the SUV. Since Mok was very good at not being fired, he somehow managed to finish in time to open the back door for him. Peach didn’t stir in the slightest as Kian carefully (and somewhat awkwardly) settled him across the backseat. He made sure to climb in on the other side so he could use his leg as a pillow for him. Mok was speaking in quiet tones into his earpiece as he closed the open doors of the SUV. Kian would have been far more worried if there had been any visible wounds on him. The only thing he could find were the scrapes on his palms. He made sure not to touch them, fearful of any sort of infection risk.
Kian gently moved Peach’s hair out of his face. It was so soft and feathery. “You ridiculous man,” he murmured to him, hands reverent. “You should know by now that if you call, I will come running, no matter what time it is or where you happen to be.”
Peach, of course, did not respond.
“Mok.”
Their eyes met briefly in the rearview mirror. “Khab, boss.”
“Drive faster.”
The car accelerated even as Kian’s heart rate calmed. There was nothing to fear as long as he had Peach within his embrace. Nothing could hurt him there.
And soon, he thought, thinking of the strange man who had inadvisibly attacked his innocent Heart. No one will ever think to do so ever again.
He pulled out his phone and clicked a few buttons.
“Rome,” he said, when the line picked up. He saw Mok subtly perk up. Honestly, the man wasn’t nearly as good at masking his feelings as he thought he was. “How would you like a new training dummy for some of our specialized units?” It took practice to be skilled at cruelty. But they said that ten thousand hours of dedicated practice would make anyone an expert.
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In Kian’s estimation, things had gone quite well. At long last, after weeks of romantic overtures and carefully crafted words for the man he very much wanted to win the regard of, Peach finally acknowledged his suit. He seemed strangely shocked by it. Perhaps Kian should have been more obvious… maybe his approach had been too subtle. He could not turn back the clock, but he had made the decision shortly after meeting Peach that he was willing to learn from his mistakes and take correction. He would not fail Peach in that now!
And on that note, he thought, after a team of doctors and nurses had staked their careers of giving Peach a clean bill of health. He took a seat on the side of Peach’s bed. The man’s face was still a bit flushed, but Kian had been assured (with various clinic personnel swearing up and down the walls and on the lives of their firstborns) that he didn’t have any sort of fever, allergic reaction, or skin rash.
“Let’s finish settling this,” he said with finality. He focused all his attention on Peach, searching his gaze for answers.
“Settle what?” he asked, laughing a little.
Kian couldn’t imagine why. This was very serious. The question had been weighing on his heart since the car ride. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, beseechingly.
Peach blinked at him, face so raw and open that it took him a little aback. He could almost see his thoughts written clearly across his face. The flash of confusion, then the thoughtfulness, followed by hesitance. Gods, but Kian was enamoured by this silly man. Didn’t he know that he need but ask it of him and he would immediately start working out the logistics for moving literal mountains for him?
“In the moment,” he began, slowly. He looked somewhere between lost and amused. But there was a shine to his eyes that made Kian want to move closer to him. “I wasn’t thinking about calling anyone… I was just trying to get away.”
“And what about before that?” he pressed. “Why didn’t you call when you needed a ride home to begin with? Did you think I would not come to your side the moment you said my name?”
A small smile graced his face. “Can I really bother you over something so small?” he asked, like he was unaware of the pleasure Kian took in any moment he got to spend with him. Like it wasn’t what he went to sleep dreaming about and what he got out of bed for.
“Peachayarat,” he leaned in close. He would learn from his past mistakes. He would not be so subtle in the future! Clearly, Peach needed it demonstrated to him more obviously. He leaned back slightly, seeming to be startled. “In a city full of people that would do anything to get my number, it is only your face that I hope will light up my screen.”
His face got even redder. The medical staff had better not have been wrong about clearing him of a fever. He looked away, embarrassed. “I didn’t know you would have wanted that. I needed a ride home, it’s not so serious that I can’t just call a driver…”
“Call one of my drivers; I will allocate one specifically to you.”
Peach’s eyes went wide and he snapped his head back to him. “Khun Thee!” he scolded.
“Then what am I to do, my Peach?”
The man choked a little bit at hearing the endearment, but he soldiered on. Kian insisted on being heard on this!
“Shall I risk tonight happening again? What if the world tries to keep me from your side when you need it most? What if you are left to fend off your demo—”
“Khun!” he snapped, looking incredibly embarrassed. “Get ahold of yourself! I have been handling my own transportation for almost two decades. Tonight was not a common occurrence! This was an anomaly. I’m not out on the streets ‘fending off my demons’ on a regular basis or otherwise.”
“Even still. You are too important for me to leave without the knowledge that you are safe!”
“We are not a couple, Khun,” he said, devastatingly. “I am my own adult!”
Which was indisputable. But he was also an adult who was closely affiliated with one of the most dangerous families in Bangkok. Rome was an adult, and he never went anywhere without someone to accompany him. Even Mok did not venture out and about alone. “You are,” he replied, unequivocally. “And I respect that. But please consider where I am coming from. You are right, I haven’t won the right to call you my partner, yet. But you must understand that even when that is the case, even as I will continue to strive to do so, that does not change the fact that my heart beats for you alone.”
Peach threw his hands over his face quickly. “Stop, stop! I can’t handle it anymore.”
Neither could Kian. They were on the same wavelength. Kian leaned closer, his heart reaching out to the other man. He threaded one hand through his hair. So soft and feathery. He adored it. “Peach, I was the one who saved my own number in your phone. That means that you have permission to call me about anything at any time. Day or night. As often as you want. I will always pick up.”
Bright eyes peered at him through slightly parted fingers. “You don’t have to…”
“I want to.” I want you, he thought, but carefully did not say. He was known for his restraint.
Peach huffed a bit, face flushed and looking distinctly put out. Kian loved the sight of his future lover’s face pressed between his hands as he pouted. “If I promise to call you next time I need a ride home from somewhere, will you agree not to have a driver follow me around? It’s a waste of time for everyone!”
Kian smiled widely. It warmed his heart that Peach would rather be by his side than another’s. “Of course.”
The man relaxed and shook his head at him like he was amused by something. “You’re something else, Khun.”
“P’Kian,” he corrected.
“Huh?”
Stroking his thumbs under the Peach’s eyes, he said again, “Call me P’Kian. You’re allowed.”
“Khun,” came the expected scolding.
Kian’s mood dropped considerably when Peach pulled his hands away from his face.
“I can’t call you that!”
“Why not? You are the only one outside of my family that I would wish to have the privilege!”
“It’s too familiar. I still haven’t agreed to anything between us! I need time to think.”
Admittedly, the words stung. But that was fine. That just meant Kian had more time to convince Peach that he was an excellent option. However, he had pushed him too far today, clearly. It was time to give him space. “You say that as though I would not agree to wait several eternities,” he said, standing up and giving Peach some breathing room.
The man buried his face in his hands again, clearly just as devastated at the loss of proximity as Kian was. Yes, this was going excellently.
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This was going horribly! Had he already failed to this extent?!
“What is the meaning of this?” he cried in horror, staring at the suitcase on the floor of Peach’s bedroom later that evening. Was it possible that even a Lee’s failure was this extreme? Had he driven Peach away entirely? At least seven different scenes from his beloved dramas filtered through his mind.
The one that got away. Runaway bride. Fleeing into the night. A million lines ran through his mind, reminding him about just how serious the situation was.
Peach looked at him from where he sat on his bed. “What do you mean?”
“This!” he pointed aggressively at the offending bag. Had Peach allowed him up here with the intent of seeing this? Was this his way of rejecting him? There were plane tickets on the nightstand! He was leaving!
“You have crushed my heart into pieces,” he bit out. He’d been with Peach all day. They had barely been apart for a moment since he had managed to get his feelings through to him in the hospital, so he couldn’t have decided to leave within that time. So had he been planning on it before? If so, why hadn’t he said something earlier? Broken it to him in the hospital instead of allowing his hopes to rise to this extent?! Surely that was cruelty beyond measure. At least if he had been in the hospital, he could have gotten immediate medical care for his shattered soul! “You’ve done it now, Peachayarat! I’m hurting to the point of dying!” He threw the paper back down.
“Huh?”
‘HUH?!’ What did he mean ‘hUh?’ Unable to form the words to express his devastation, he pounded his fist onto the flesh above his heart to illustrate himself before he turned and stalked out of the room. He barely registered the stairs as he made his way downstairs.
“I’ve been repeating myself from morning until night!” I love you. Let me have the chance to win your love in return. “That you will be safe under my care!” I will not push you into anything you don’t want. But please, turn that kindness in your heart to me and at least allow me the chance to try to win you! “And still you think of running away from me?!”
“Hear me out, Khun,” his voice was close, like he had followed right behind him down the stairs.
He turned to him, infuriated. “Remember this: Not even death can take you away from me! Whether in Hell or Heaven, if any of the Lee family are there, I will have them lock you away until the day I die and fall after you!” Not even death could break his tie to this man. His heart beat for this man! He seized Peach’s wrists in the shackles of his own hands and stared into his face. His eyes were laughing at him, lighthearted and bright. It hurt his heart!
“Die and fall?” he asked, grinning. “You’re not planning on going to Heaven?”
He was mocking him?! “Keep it coming!” he turned away to hide his broken gaze. “Come up with more cruel words.”
No, he thought. I cannot allow myself to tremble in the face of this challenge! He turned around again, feeling like he was dancing around Peach, who had yet to reciprocate at all.
“Keep stabbing my heart with them!” he dared the man boldly, putting his arms down to expose his vulnerable points to Peach. To his jugular. To his heart. “Go on!”
Peach obliged. “Get a grip, Khun.”
Kian could not. His very grip of reality, on his humanity... it was fraying at the ends! “I phrase every word carefully before I speak. I do not act on impulse!” And then he went in for his own dig. “And I’m reasonable enough not to run away.”
Peach remained unmoved. Then, he opened his mouth and took the wind right out of his sails. “I’m just going on vacation.”
Kian blinked.
Peach, the cruel man that he was, laughed.
“What did you say?” he asked, trying not to feel too hopeful.
“If you’d kept it together and read the ticket carefully, you would have noticed that it’s a domestic ticket,” then he leaned forward in a manner that was almost flirtatious. “With a return flight.”
Relief flooded his veins. “A return flight?”
Peach nodded, but did not pull away.
Kian reached out and cupped his elbows lightly. “Truly? You aren’t leaving?”
“I am leaving,” Peach corrected. “But only for a few days.”
Kian stepped closer, his heart calming. Peach’s gaze was level with his, bright, cheerful, and amused. “And then you’ll be returning to me?”
“I’ll be returning to Bangkok, yes.”
“Yes, to me in Bangkok,” he agreed breathlessly.
“Khun,” Peach said, laughing at him for some reason. Perhaps just as happy with the idea as he was.
“In that case, will you allow me to buy you a private plane? That way you wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.”
Peach was back to looking unmoved. He just huffed out a little annoyed sound at him.
Kian wanted to pout, but he had to hold it together. His dignity was important to him. He would course correct. “What about a private jet? If I hire one, it’s less expensive,” he wheedled.
“Uh-huh,” Peach scoffed at him, disbelievingly. Somehow, the motion had the two of them moving closer.
Kian couldn’t complain. His hands slid slowly from Peach’s elbows to his rib cage. His heart beat a steady rhythm there. “What about a private beach with a land deed?” he whispered.
Peach shook his head and began to pull away.
Kian felt him slip out of his loose grasp and felt an intense pang of longing. “A private island?” he suggested quickly.
Peach turned away with a grin and walked back up the stairs. “Oi, Peach! I can’t think of anything simpler than these options!” Let me pamper you!
But of course, Peach would not.
My heart is cruel indeed, he thought sadly.
Even still, he couldn’t help but be charmed.