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The cold metal seeped into Will’s hands with every rung he climbed. Thunder echoed all around him and lightning flashed, momentarily illuminating the ladder red before fading back to the dull blue and black of the Upside Down. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead and the back of his neck, running down his spine. Climbing the ladder was exhausting and tiresome but the activity kept him overheated, acting as a barrier against the biting cold and the load of traumatic memories Will kept locked away.
With one final heave, Will reached the rest platform and stepped off the ladder. Mike was already there, sitting down, leaning against some rickety looking bars, drinking some water and watching Will.
Will copied Mike, sitting down on the opposite end of the platform and resting against the bars, trying to keep his limbs steady and his heart from beating out of his chest, telling himself it didn’t matter that Mike’s eyes were on him.
He kept both of his feet a respectful distance to the left of Mike’s, not wanting him to feel weird. They didn’t really have a chance to speak one-on-one after Will told everyone. Will didn’t actually have a chance to speak to anyone one-on-one after, not his mom or Jonathan or even Lucas or Dustin.
Truthfully, Will had no idea how any of them really felt, and even after, the possibility of Vecna’s visions coming true-of everyone he loves drifting away from, of him ending up alone and isolated-still feels like a real possibility. Like even after all he’s done to try and keep his family close he was still going to lose them. Like even if they somehow all survive this battle, he still might not get the one thing he’s fought so hard to keep.
Unexpectedly, Mike leans forward, stretching out his hand and offering Will his water bottle. It was only then Will noticed how dry and raw his throat was. He suspected the climb and all the crying he had done earlier were the two main causes.
Will leaned forward, reaching out to grab the water bottle. Mike’s fingers brushed his and Will tried his best not to jerk his hand away. He didn’t want to freak Mike out, especially now that he knew his secret.
He leaned back and drank some water, forcing himself to remain calm. Despite the fact that Will knows Mike doesn’t feel the same and he should move on, just like Robin did, and how he even told everyone it was just a crush, he can’t bring himself to quite move on.
He’s spent so long hopelessly in love with Mike, savoring every touch, every shared look, every whispered conversation, that it was impossible to just turn it off. To just get over it.
Will knew he should, he wasn’t stupid. He knew he didn’t have a chance. Mike wasn’t like him, Mike didn’t like boys.
It was just a few days ago that Will still thought he might’ve had a chance but now it seemed like ages ago. Ever since El and Mike had broken up and Will had been living with the Wheeler’s, Mike and Will had gotten closer again.
They began to work through all their problems and Mike had apologized for his behavior, although he never really gave a reason why. They started having conversations again, and hanging out together, and Will really thought they could get back to how they once were.
Pathetically, he even thought he saw signs from Mike. Even at the beginning, when they had just gotten back from California, Mike insisted on Will sleeping in his room and they hadn’t even really been speaking then. As they began to fix their friendship, Will had seen more and more signs. He had caught Mike staring at him for long periods of time, and he would constantly be near him, and even slip in between people in order to be closer to him. They’d almost always be touching in some way, a brush of the knee or hand, a bump of the elbow or shoulder.
They’d spend more time together than the others, and even when the party was altogether, it’d be like they were in their own little world, so noticeable that the others would tease them for it and his brother would give him fleeting, sad looks from across the dinner table.
Will had always believed that their friendship had been different than the others, even when he was a child. The past eighteen months made him think there was a reason for it. But Will now knows that was just a silly dream. A make-believe fantasy to get him through the day. He needs to move on. He needs-
“Will?”
Will was so deep in his own thoughts he didn’t even realize Mike had been staring at him. He looked up and fixed his gaze on Mike’s face, as he always does, “Yeah?”
Mike looked hesitant for a moment, leaning forward slightly as if he had something incredible important to share but seemed to abandon it mid-thought and leaned back. He opened his mouth, began to say something, and then stopped again.
Will waited patiently. He knows what it’s like to struggle to say something out loud. And besides, time was short but Will wasn’t in a hurry to face his own death.
“About earlier…what you said in the Squawk,” Mike finally began, “I…I just wanted to say I’m proud of you. I mean, I can’t imagine holding in that secret for so long…not knowing how people are going to react and still being brave enough to tell everyone. You always call me the brave one but…I really think it’s you.” Mike smiled at him, eyes shining bright despite the dark atmosphere. “I mean, with everything you’ve been through and everything to come…I’m just glad to have you on our side. Our own real-life sorcerer.”
Will smiled at him, warmth blossoming in his chest. Mike means so much to him and just to know he still thinks so highly of Will is enough for him.
“And I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” Mike’s smile started to drop as he kept speaking. “I know I’ve acted like a jerk in the past and said some things I didn’t mean.”
Will was quick to step in, “You already apologized for that, you don’t need to do it again.”
“No, no, I do. I do. I didn’t know the whole story before and even so that’s not an excuse for the way I acted. And…I know I’ve never really told you why. And so I want to tell you why-I need to tell you why.”
Will just stared at Mike, waiting for him to go on.
“But before I do, I just need to ask one question first.” Mike stared at Will earnestly, scanning his face for what exactly, Will wasn’t sure but he thought he’d find out very shortly.
Will nodded his head, “Ask.” Will was so tired of carrying around secrets he felt like he would tell Mike anything he’d want to know right now. Mike could ask him if he was in love with him and Will would probably tell him the truth.
“Is this why you lied about the painting?”
Will was wrong. He doesn’t want to answer that question. “Wh-what?” He was so taken aback Will didn’t even know what to say. He never told Mike about the painting and never really expected him to ask about it. Perhaps he should’ve thought his lie through a little more.
“I know you lied about the painting,” Mike began, trying his best to be gentle, “I…I asked El about it, shortly after we got back from California and she told me that she didn’t know what I was talking about. It was only then I figured it had to have come from you, but I just wasn’t sure why, " He admitted. “I…I thought perhaps you just lied to make me feel better. I didn’t want to read to much into it-I…I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But then, you moved in.” Mike’s eyes light up and the corners of his mouth quirked up, like just the thought filled him up with so much joy it couldn’t be contained. “And we started spending all that time together. And…and I began to think that maybe you didn’t lie that day in the car. But then…I saw how much time you were spending together with Robin lately and I…I thought I was wrong again.”
A flick of what Will could only describe as jealously crossed his face, so fast if it were anyone else he would have missed it.
“But then, earlier, in the radio station, you…you looked at me. You looked right at me. I realized right then I had been right the whole time.” Will’s eyes were locked on Mike’s, not daring to look away.
“I’m sorry, Will. For everything. For how much of a oblivious idiot I was. I…I was just scared. Scared of reading things wrong, scared to lose you, scared of…of how I felt. And what it meant. But you’re right. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t want to live my life like that. I don’t want to wake up fifteen years from now and be haunted by ‘what if?’ And we have no idea how this battle will turn out. If any of us will even make it, but…” Mike took a deep breath, glancing at his shoes for a brief moment before looking back up and locking eyes with Will, staring intently at him. “I don’t want to die without ever telling you the truth.”
Will couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It had to be some cruel trick or illusion from Vecna or maybe he had slipped climbing up the ladder and fell to his death and this was the afterlife because Mike Wheeler, his best friend could not possibly be doing what he thinks he’s doing.
No, Will’s not lucky enough for that. Will is not important enough for that. Will does not get the boy. Will does not get the one thing he’s wanted for so long. He knows now, he doesn’t need it. He doesn’t need Mike’s love. But oh, how he wants it so badly.
He wants it more than anything. He wants the hushed, late night, conversations, the soft touches, the yearning looks, the sweet smile Mike gives that is only reserved for Will, the gentleness Mike has always shown Will, Will wants it all. He wants it all and so much more. He wants all those things he’s laid in bed and dreamed about in the middle of the night. He wants the same thing he’s always watched everyone else have. He wants, wants, wants and never gets. But Mike was always his exception.
Will couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t breath, so he just sat there, staring wide-eyed at Mike, mouth hanging open slightly, waiting for whatever Mike decided to give him.
“Will…I don’t want to be your Tammy. I want to be Mike. Your Mike.” Mike was looking at him so seriously, so intently, Will couldn’t form a single thought. “Will…it’s always been you. Always. Even if it’s taken me this long to figure it out. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to figure it out but…I love you.”
Will didn’t even notice he was crying until the tears began sliding down his cheeks. It was like he wasn’t even in control on his own body as he flung himself across the platform, throwing his arms around Mike and kissing him.
He felt Mike smile into the kiss as he wasted practically no time, immediately wrapping his arms around Will, steadying him, and fiercely kissing him back. Will was so happy he thought he could die right there and the only regret he would have is that he’d never be able to kiss Mike Wheeler again.
They broke apart, tears running freely down both of their faces.
“I love you too. Of course, I love you.” Will confessed, overjoyed that he finally was able to say those words to Mike. Mike smiled widely, tears forming at the corner of his eyes as he cupped Will’s face and kissed him again.
“So does this mean you forgive me for being such a jerk?” Mike asked as they pulled away, smiling wide, wiping Will’s tears away with his thumb.
“I honestly don’t even care about that right now.” Will said, his head still being caught up on the fact that he just kissed Mike Wheeler. His best friend. The man he’s in love with. And the man who loves him too.
They both laughed, Will burying his face into Mike’s shoulder. They both stayed there for a few moments, just holding one another, soaking in the unbelievable until Mike spoke.
“Hey.” He said softly into Will’s ear. Will lifted his head up, face so close to Mike he had no trouble seeing Mike’s quick glance down at his lips. As if before he could get distracted again, he pointed above them and Will noticed the dull flashlights shining in the distance.
Shit, how long had they been down here? As much as Will didn’t want to move, he knew they didn’t have any more time to spare, “We should probably go, then.”
He looked back at Mike to find Mike still staring starstruck at him. Will felt the blush creep up his cheeks as Mike shook himself out of it. “No, you’re right, we should probably go.”
Mike loosed the arm he still had wrapped around Will and Will awkwardly stood, helping Mike up once he was steady. They quickly made sure they had all their supplies and turned towards the ladder.
Before Mike went up, however, he smiled widely at Will, giving him another quick peck on the lips before finally turning and climbing the ladder.
Will doesn’t know what this battle will bring. He doesn’t know what the future holds, if there even will be one. But he knows now that whatever happens Mike will be by his side. Always. The Paladin and the Sorcerer. And maybe that’ll be enough.
So Will turns around and resumes the climb.