Archive of Our Own ^beta

he'd make a bad boyfriend

[video description: video shows namjoon almost breaking his fingers while attempting to open the jar.]

hyung if you ask me nicely, i'll come and show that jar who's boss

no need. i know you're just going to throw it across the room and make a mess

no i won't. i can open it without destroying it. it's all about technique

then come but come quick i'm starving. namjoon too

ask me nicely

no

then i won't come

suit yourself

the baby tried to brute force it but nothing happened

[video description: video shows jungkook, clearly out of breath due to excessive labor, staring down the jar angrily.]

three adult men, and all of them useless...

and you're not?

if i weren't already in bed, i'd come and show you how it's done

uh huh. what time can we expect you?

"dId YoU tRy TuRnInG iT oFf AnD oN aGaIn?"

[video description: video shows a quick-cut of various scenes. yoongi tapping on the lid of the jar, holding it under running hot water, trying to break the seal, slapping it every which way, and muttering under his breath like a frustrated middle aged man. the jar remains unopened.]

don't move. i'm omw

jimin suspected the jar is possessed. we are currently trying to appeal to the demon. wish us luck

[video description: video shows seokjin, namjoon, jungkook, yoongi, jimin and taehyung sitting in a circle on the floor in the dark holding hands, the jar in their middle illuminated by candles.]