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We can't choose how we live

Summary:

Vanitas never escaped Moreau's laboratory that night. Instead, he was rescued by Roland.

Unsure of what to do now that he's lost part of his humanity, he clings to a role he can no longer fulfill... For as long as he can anyway.

Despite everything, he still ends up exactly where he was always meant to be.

Notes:

Hey guys! I haven't posted in a while! I have so many WIP's right now, I felt like posting something for the new year. This AU has been on my mind since chapter 65 released, but after the most recent one, I knew I had to write it out. Anyways this won't have any ships, but I hope it still finds some people who like it anyway!

Tags will be added each chapter to avoid spoilers!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Changed Fate

Chapter Text

Tonight was a special night. 

Honestly, nothing was out of the ordinary. Roland was just doing his rounds like normal, marching through the catacombs with a smile. What made it special was the company! He had been officially promoted to a vice captain last month!

“Must you hum the entire time?” Olivier muttered beside him. 

Hm? Oh, he supposed he had been humming. “Sorry, Olivier. Chapel was incredible today!” The melody was still playing in his mind, it even brought a bit of a skip to his step. He could truly feel the passion in their song, and that made all the difference.

“It's not like they performed anything different.” Olivier sighed, his face illuminated by the lantern in his hand. 

A metal door opened in front of them, and a few higher-ranked chasseurs rushed past. One stopped in front of Olivier with a look of distress.

“Captain!” A chasseur rushed in. Roland hadn't really learned his name yet since there were a lot of new faces in this division. But he looked awfully troubled.

“Is something the matter?” Roland tilted his head. Olivier tensed beside him, already on high alert. 

“Yes..! We heard the explosion and ran to check it out.” He spoke through his panting, bending over to rest his hands on his knees. “That scientist, his lab..! I saw inside it, he's insane.”

Roland felt a cold chill go down his spine, the goofy smile wiped itself off as he sprang into action. “What do you mean?” 

“It's an abomination, I tell you..!” He trailed off, his face was awfully pale. “They were massacring people.”

Olivier stiffened up beside him. “What?”

“I saw it. I saw the bodies, they weren’t right…” He trembled again, his voice getting another push of energy. “Children! He dismembered children.”

Roland lowered his eyes. It sounds like he saw something he truly didn't need to see… 

“Dr. Moreau, right?” Roland asked, he knew that was the name of the scientist they housed here. He'd never been to the lab himself, but he was told the research he'd been conducting was for a noble purpose. 

It made him feel sick. 

“Yes…” 

Olivier broke his silence, he took a step forward. “What divisions are down there already?” 

“Sphene and Bloodstone.” He said with a shiver. 

Roland placed his hand on the man's shoulder, “Go back and rest. Perhaps some prayer will serve you well at the moment.” 

The man nodded and went down the path that led to the cathedral. 

“Olivier.” Roland gave him a serious look. He knew the lab was somewhere on the lower levels; he didn't know where. 

“There are already two paladins up there, they don't need another.” Olivier muttered. 

“Hm, then I'll just go myself.” Roland announced as he ran towards the nearest pathway. 

Olivier grabbed his hand. “Hey! That's the wrong way you fool!” 

“So you'll lead the way?” He gave his friend a somber smile.

Olivier made a tch and rolled his eyes. “If I don't, you'll end up lost.” 

“Thanks!” Roland pulled his hand forward, and they began to run. 

They approached the entrance with caution, Roland opened the door first and took a step inside. 

They were in a corridor. Lining the walls were two stories of thick wooden doors that had been blown open. There was the awful stench of decaying flesh. 

He looked inside one of the cells and found a rotting corpse on a metal bed frame.

This wasn't a lab, it was a prison. 

This was the research being conducted in their home...? Under God's name? Olivier led the way, his eyes wide in shock as he took in the damage with each step. Tables, covered in blood. Broken jars and spilled eyeballs on the ground. 

There was no time to idly take it in. Noises were coming from a room up ahead, so they picked up their pace and ran towards it.

“No..!” He heard a cut-off scream, followed by the sound of a blade. Roland steeled himself as he followed Olivier into the room, which must have been the epicenter of the explosion. 

Bookshelves were on the ground, bits and pieces of machinery, pipes, all strewn about. Every step was littered with the glass from the shattered sunroof that reached the surface. The brilliant blue from the moon above painted the entire room with its glow. At least a dozen bodies were lying around them.

Ogier stepped back with a casual, unfazed look while Gano executed a researcher in cold blood. Both of them looked rather surprised to see them there. 

“Huh? Thought you sent those guys away? Want me to take care of it?” Gano looked to Ogier.

That certainly rubbed Roland the wrong way.

Ogier shook his head and lightened the mood with his bright voice. “Hey lighten up Gano, they're obviously here to help.” He gave Olivier a grin, completely ignoring Roland to talk to the paladin beside him. “What brings you down here?” 

Olivier cleared his throat. “We ran into someone while on our patrol. He informed me of the situation, so I came down to check.” 

Gano sighed and put his blade away. 

“Well, we've got it covered really, no reason for three paladins to be down here.”

But something about all this didn't sit right with him. Roland took a step forward. 

“Actually, I think I'll stay and help.” Roland spoke with determination as he stepped out into the center of the room. 

He heard Olivier let out a baffled exclamation behind him. “Hey- Roland..!”

Gano gritted his teeth in irritation. 

“So where are the survivors? I'm sure you must have had a good reason for executing that man, but surely not everyone here is guilty of death.” Roland passed them both, examining the damage for himself. 

There was blood under the bookshelf, and most of the men in lab coats were missing their heads, the work of Gano's weapon. 

It didn't sit right with him at all. 

If these scientists were committing crimes, they should be tried and judged according to the law. By executing them on the spot, they were denying them any chance for repentance.

No, it was like they were silencing them, almost like they were trying to cover something up.

“Suit yourself.” Ogier shrugged. “Everything down here is beyond saving if you ask me.”

Roland spotted a small figure on the ground up ahead. A kid. He rushed over and knelt by the boy's side. 

He was unconscious, his flimsy clothes did little to hide the bruises and cuts that had been forced upon his too-thin frame. His ebony hair was cut haphazardly, uneven. His skin was too pale, as if he'd been kept underground in this forsaken lab for far too long. A stark contrast to the deep purple bags under his eyes. 

He's nothing more than a child. Roland carefully scooped the boy into his arms. 

Time seemed to stop for a moment as he turned around with the boy in his arms. He looked to Olivier, his face softened. He could see the conflict in his brow. 

“I'm going to look for other survivors. Olivier, stay with them for a bit.”

He couldn't see the expression on his face. But he could almost hear Olivier chastising him for giving orders. 

The boy in his arms was breathing softly. The moment he was alone with him, he touched his forehead with his hand. Roland's eyes shot open wide. 

The child was burning up! This was serious. 

He needed medical attention, not just for his wounds, but for whatever illness he's facing. Proper nourishment, too. He'd never met this boy, and yet, his heart broke for him. It ached. 

The lord must have placed him on his heart. There was no doubt. 

He quickly ran down the corridor and found nothing but empty cells. His breath, however, stilled the moment he stepped into another lab. 

There were glass tubes, some broken, some intact. On the ground, a mysterious liquid leaked into a puddle. The corpse of a young girl, her mouth held open by a metal brace, showcasing short fangs. They were small, he'd never seen a vampire with fangs like that. After death, any formula alterations disappearred unless the vampire was highly trained in formula alterations.

He'd never seen a young vampire with permanent alterations.

The sound of the water on his feet was the only thing he could hear as he walked over to the table and grabbed a piece of paper. 

Experiment #65 

Roland felt his breath stop as he read the report on artificial fang growth. They had been injecting the girl with vampire blood, until her body rejected the substance. 

Cause of death, organ failure. 

Oh dear Lord, please don't let it be true.

She wasn't a vampire, she was human. 

They tried to turn this child into a vampire.

Roland didn't set the boy in his arms down, but he used his free hand to shut the eyes of the poor girl. 

It hurt, rather than anger, he felt pain. 

How could anyone be so cruel? 

It wasn't just her, he saw others, the preserved bodies of humans, ranging in age. Some were missing various limbs, and some of their faces were stuck in perpetual anguish. 

Roland backed up. Is this what Ogier meant? Everyone here was beyond saving? Their bodies corrupted by unnatural experiments? 

What about the boy he was holding? Was he used in such despicable experiments too?

It may be too late for him to save the girl, or any of the other victims, but the boy in his arms still breathed, he was still alive. 

That only strengthened his resolve. Salvation was not so fragile. A mad doctor cannot revoke what the Lord had already bestowed.

He didn't feel at peace staying down here, he needed to get this boy help as soon as possible. With that, Roland closed his eyes to pray.

'Thank you, Lord, for your guidance on this night. Please, show me the way, so I can help your beloved child, whom you've entrusted me with.'

When he opened them again, he felt calmer, clearer, he knew exactly what he should be doing. He clutched him tighter and headed for the entrance. 

'Please, Lord, show me the way.'

He couldn't afford to get lost, but if he asked for Olivier's help… That would allow those two to continue executing the rest of the researchers. 

Roland had a terrible sense of direction, but the Lord knows all things. He can help bring to mind the correct path, Roland had no doubt. 

So with that, Roland rushed towards the entrance he came from. Think, which path had he taken before?? He kept running in one direction, cradling the child closer as he heard the boy take a labored breath. 

What a horrible thing to force on anyone, especially a child. 

As he wandered a bit through the upper levels of the catacombs, he came across another chasseur. 

“You- Aren't you in the obsidian unit?” 

Roland smiled, thank you for your provision, Lord! His guide was here. “Yeah, I'm the vice captain. Can you show me the way back to the church?”

The man blinked. “Huh? Uh, sure? I was told to evacuate this area by the higher-ups anyway.” 

That's… incredibly suspicious. But oh well, he knew Olivier would ensure justice prevailed. He could count on him for that.

By the time he made it back to the surface, there were murmurs all around. The initial chasseurs who had investigated the news had spread the word. Roland went back to the main cathedral, where they all would gather for meals. He needed to catch their medic and get the boy some help.

Ah, there she is..! He spotted a familiar head of unruly black hair. “Mira! Over here!” Roland loudly waved a free hand and rushed over, attracting the attention of everyone there in the church.

She got up from her pew and tilted her head. “What you got there? And where's Romeo? It's rare to see you two apart.” 

“He's down there with the others. I found this boy but he's running a fever. Do you think you can take a look at him?” 

It was like time came to a standstill. One of the chasseurs whom Roland didn't interact with much stepped forward.

“How…?” The man's brows furrowed, his mouth opened in disbelief. 

The young recruits whispered among themselves. 

“Wait- isn't that your old sparring partner?”

“The Sapphire kid?”

“Don't be ridiculous- He's dead.”

Huh? What's impossible? A survivor? Roland tilted his head in confusion. 

Mira lifted the bangs from the boy's face, leaning close to examine. “Hey, isn't this kid one of yours?” She called out to the man who had stepped forward. 

He flinched and muttered an uncertain “Was.” There was a cough, and the whispers died out, everyone focusing on the boy who should not be there. “He died in combat months ago.”

“Well, he doesn't look dead to me.” Mira grabbed his arm to examine the damage.

“Wait! He's a chasseur?” Roland questioned, he tried to picture the scrawny child fighting a battle and failed to do so.

Instead of getting a response, the boy's trainer got a closer look at his face and answered Mira. “We buried him ourselves.” At this point the guy was looking to the others for backup. “You remember? It was pouring out, and we had to wait for the rain to let up.”

The man in question nodded, backing up his claim.

“Don't know who you buried then.” Mira put the boy's arm down. “Anyway, it looks like he's been through hell, and running a fever.” 

Mira started walking away and waved he hand, motioning for Roland to follow. “Come on, I'll patch him up.”