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“One day, you'll stop counting. It's a needless effort anyway!”
Homura didn't do it purposefully. She didn't lose track of how many times the events had played out before her intentionally! Maybe it was by the time she watched Madoka turn into a witch, and realized that if she stopped for a second too long- she too would turn into one.
Resetting the clock once, twice, a thousand times.
She spent an unfortunate length of time one reality, just talking to Kyubey. Truthfully, it did help. In that time, Homura learned about who the magical girls of Walpurgisnacht really were. And maybe, to prevent Madoka from signing a contract, she had to stop the despair before it happened.
“This witch was really quite unexpected,” said the incubator. “It was a wonderful surprise! It's a shame that it will end so many other magical girls, but the energy from this witch will definitely compensate for it.” The strange little bunny-cat thing tilted his head at her. Those red beady eyes, completely void of understanding. “I guess you could say it was a fair trade.”
Homura was knelt in front of the devil, staring face to face with something that could pass as quite adorable. “Why do you still need Madoka Kaname then? What purpose does she serve if you get enough energy from this?” She asked.
The creature walked in a circle, as if to ponder the question. “We only have enough energy to continue the universe for so long. But Madoka has so much energy potential! She could save everything.” The incubator replied.
“Do I not have energy potential?”
Kyubey stared up at her. It never seemed to make an expression, it must be due to the fact that emotions were more of a disorder to it. “You do! And, we need Madoka for that!” She hated how it always sounded excited, pleased with its torture on humanity.
Homura stood up, summoned a gun, and shot the evil thing at her feet. It would always come back, it had so many of it's kind. Horrible hive mind of a population. All Kyubey.
The streets were rather empty tonight, dim lighting reflecting off of still-wet pavement. The scent of earlier rain was still thick in the air. It does something to you, something horrible, to witness death a million times over. Especially when it's somebody you-
Homura didn't love Madoka. She hated her, she hated every fiber of that girl's being! She hated the way the pink haired girl always gave herself up. She hated how there was never hesitation to die. “Just let me have this Madoka..” she muttered, walking away from the corpse at her feet. “Or any.”
It was statistically improbable that if she fought forever, that no timelines would keep Madoka alive. So she must fight.
Or else it was for nothing. Or else Homura threw away her life just to witness the rise and fall of her sunset-like love. A month or two was too fleeting. After it ends, Madoka will forget her, again. And, again!
And if it was for nothing, if that sunset would always dim the sky for an endless nightfall, then what will she become? Will her witch go on to be snuffed out by the one person she sought to save? Will they be witches together, and destroy lives together?
Soon enough the streets were replaced with a bedroom that Homura had come to suffer in. Before this began, she had only lived in a hospital. Having her own bedroom, without checkups and people talking over her sleeping? It was a dream come true.
And now the walls were stained red with memories of death, the hundreds, thousands of deaths she's been unable to prevent. Homura couldn't even save most things from other timelines, almost everything was too large to take so far back. But she has photographs.
She laid in bed, slipping under the blankets for the last remnants of warmth in life. She stared at the ceiling, thinking of the more important things she could be doing in place of sleep.
Fight witches, harvest grief seeds, save Madoka. Save Madoka! Save Madoka, save-
Her eyes shut. I'll save her tomorrow, she thought, I still need sleep to save her.
In a blink, she was asleep, in another, she was once again fighting. Homura found herself in the midst of a witch’s labyrinth.
Void-like darkness, with chains from every angle shooting at her. The cold metal wrapped around her just as she paused time. Homura shoved the chains off of herself and summoned a couple of grenades. At least the one good thing to come of being a magical girl was that weapons were an easy access item.
She used to have to steal weapons, until she learned to control the other powers. It stretched planet-wide, and was quick enough to feel like the weapons appeared out of nowhere. Nobody would need grenades for anything good, anyway.
Pulling out pins, and tossing them at the main areas the chains came from, watching them freeze mid-air… it's like she's seen it a million times…
Time resumed after she moved out of the way. Homura watched the explosions, yawning. Of course the one time she tries to sleep, a witch appears! Her soul gem did need to be cleansed though, so maybe a grief seed wouldn't be too bad.
She ran until stumbling across the witch herself. Poor girl seemed to have a gruesome mind, with the tortured way this witch looked. Thin, long limbs. Head replaced with an eyeball. She could only wonder.. just what caused this despair.
Time clicked off, as did a hundred guns, and unfroze again. A well practiced dance. Then she heard it behind her, more magical girls.
“Homura?! Don't worry, we'll help you!” Madoka cried. There goes this timeline.
The blue haired one, Sayaka, ran ahead with a spear in hand. “I've got this,” she said as she passed Homura. And by gods was this girl unbearable! To trade your soul, your life, for a wish so silly..
Homura froze time. She walked up to Madoka, inspecting the outfit she wore as a magical girl. Fluffy skirt, pink everything. “Why do you keep doing this to me?” she asked, knowing she would never be heard.
She walked by the stagnant fight, and methodically summoned more explosives. Sure, the initial battle was fun, but now it was just so she could take what was hers. That grief seed didn't belong to Sayaka, she got here first.
Time unfurled again, and Homura made sure to stare the soldier girl right in the eyes as the witch was taken out. “I've got everything handled on my own.” Homura turned around to go and pick up the grief seed.
“You could just be a team for once. You could let us help you! You could help us too!” Sayaka replied, in that childish annoyed tone she always pulled. But of course she would, her wish was so pitiful.
Homura used the grief seed to cleanse the foggy soul gem. “I will never help you.” You convinced Madoka to sign a contract again. “You are a ticking time bomb, Sayaka.” Why would you wish to save somebody else?
Why did I?
It was time to reset once more. There was no future here, Madoka was already doomed. Homura looked over at the girl, who shouldn't be in a transformation outfit. “I have nothing more to say to you.”
Time stretched on like the coldest nights. Forever, as she made her way back to hoards of grief seeds. Every time now during resets, she would simply take some. They wouldn't miss it, this wouldn't have even happened to them. At the very least, it kept her from despair a bit longer.
With a click, she woke up on that first day of her school transfer.