Chapter Text
Mornings like this are always his favorite.
Waking up to the sun already blinding him in the face. Getting up, yawning and stretching akin to how a cat would, only to grumble and make his way to the bathroom. Though, usually, it’s taken up by Nancy (which he very eloquently yells at said person to hurry up), only for it to be Joyce Byers. Will’s Mom. Well, that’s another change.
Ever since the Byers have moved in, for the past 18 months, it’s been more chaotic than ever. It’s almost like the craziness in the mornings has had its voltage turned up to 100 percent. It’s draining, exhausting, and yet, exhilarating at the same time, because what teenager gets to live with his best friend, in his own house? It’s truly something else, in Mike’s eyes. It’s changed his perspective on many things involving his life, including some that he’d rather not name at the moment.
The dining table is filled with stacks of pancakes made from a box piled to the nines on a plate, along with several bottles of Mrs. Butterworth’s maple syrup set next to the plate. Everyone had their own drink; orange juice, water, wine for Karen. They alternated in-between sausage links and strips of bacon not only for time sakes but also so they didn’t get bored. Besides the food, arguments were sprouting from every end of the table, with Mike kicking his sister’s legs, and Jonathan ranting on about something to Will, which Mike could tell the latter couldn’t understand by the way his friend’s eyebrows furrowed into that sad look they always took when he was confused.
And by the time the bacon was passed around, some of them grabbing seconds, there was none left when it got to his father, to which Mike found he didn’t feel particularly bad about.
As the chaos died down, people left for work, for school, leaving his mother to, most days, take care of the dishes, which Mike did feel bad about. They biked to school, “them” being himself, Will, and Holly- a new addition to their little crew. She was finally old enough to bike herself to school, and Mike couldn’t be any prouder, truly.
Today, she hastily put on The Squawk- Robin’s new radio channel that was given to her when the former owner left Hawkins, escaping the stench of death and the Upside Down.
Oh yeah, he didn’t mention that.
Hawkins was now one of the most marveled cities in the United States of America, at least marveled by the Government. After the world split in two, Hawkins was basically put into quarantine for an unknown amount of time until the Government “fixed the mess”. Of course, that’s what they told the people. Fortunately, Mike and his friends and family (minus his mother and father and Holly) knew the truth.
He knew that Eleven was working her hardest everyday to train to fight off Vecna, whenever they find him. Crawls are a new thing, and they’re on their 36th one, if he remembers correctly. In his mind, they’re necessary- how else will they find Vecna. However, there’s always that little bit of doubt in his mind, because his mind is always going ahead of itself yet staying stagnant at the same time..
What if, when his sister and Steve and Robin burned Vecna to a crisp, he died? It would save them trouble. They could stop the Crawls. They could get on with their lives. At the same time, what would he do then? He would survive high school until graduation, and eventually leave everyone he loves behind in pursuit of a dream he doesn’t even know about at the time being.
No thanks. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants to believe that the Crawls help. That they’re necessary. That Vecna isn’t dead, and that what he’s doing now is actually something heroic and not something cowardly, to avoid a future he never wants to inevitably see.
—--------------------
School is the same as always, with the same people he’s known since Kindergarten, and especially no new faces due to the massive quarantine. Dustin’s been acting weird.
He lets himself get bullied. Mike knows it, Lucas and Will know it. And Mike thinks Dustin knows it as well, but he’s aware of it too, and it makes it even more sad. He knows Dustin is grieving, in his own way, but to what extent, and what will it take for his friend to finally break out of whatever haze he has himself set in? He doesn’t exactly know.
They have Dustin aside now, after saving him from another session of being beat up by that asshole Andy. “You’ve got to stop provoking them.” Lucas says, his eyes furrowed in frustration. “Oh, so this is my fault?” Dustin says, defensively, grabbing his now ripped shirt. “For wearing a t-shirt?” Mikes feels himself roll his eyes slightly at that, and he looks over at Will, who’s doing that thing with his eyebrows again.. that sad, confused look.
“You know it’s more than a t-shirt.” Lucas says, exasperated. Dustin scoffs, “I can’t be like you and turn the other cheek while they spread their bullshit about Hellfire, about Eddie.” Mike hears the way Dustin’s voice cracks just slightly on their late friend’s name, and he interjects. “Eddie never gave a rat’s ass about what those mouth breathers were saying to him,” He says now, sighing in-between, his eyebrows furrowing and unfurrowing as he speaks, “What he would care about.. is finding and capturing Vecna.”
Dustin looks at him, his eyes narrowed, “Do you seriously think I don’t care about that, Mike? Really?” Mike feels like he’s said the wrong thing. He backtracks, “I think you’re fighting two battles. You need to be fighting one.” He said, emphasizing the “one” part, but it really doesn’t get through the other boy. And then Will speaks, and he feels his spine straighten up the way it always does whenever Will speaks.
“Mike’s right, Dustin.” Will says, staring at Dustin even though Mike feels like he’s the one being stared at, “What if you get hurt, seriously hurt?” He asks, and Mike feels himself agreeing with the other. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Dustin got hurt. Lucas seems to agree, because he says, “You’re drawing attention. Remember what Hop said? Keep our heads low.”
Will continues, “Follow the rules. Blend in.” And then Mike’s filling in the blank, like he’ll win a grand prize from the latter who was talking if he does. “Stay focused on the next Crawl.”
But Dustin doesn’t listen.
He says something about how those things are unlike anything they’ve ever done (he hears himself mumble, “Jesus Christ”), how they’re supposed to stay true to themselves. Mike agrees, sure, but staying true in his eyes, is staying not beat up, is.. Helping the world, helping El, helping the party. Isn’t that right, or maybe he’s got it flipped around. He should ask Will, he thinks, but he forces the thought away before he gets too distracted.
By the time he focuses up again, Dustin is gone, Lucas looks even more frustrated than before, and Will looks saddened, and all Mike wants to do is be the heart like Will told him to be, those 2 or so years ago in the back of the stupid pizza van. But how can he, when his heart is strung in a hundred different places at the same time?
—-------------------------------------
Later that day, during lunch, is when they get the first real excitement of the day; a Crawl is happening. This must be the 37th one, he thinks, as he frantically grabs a piece of paper and a pen to scribble out the secret codes Robin gives them in her rant about Diana Ross. He could feel the anticipation bubbling inside of him, not only because a Crawl was dangerous and nerve-wracking, but because it gave him a chance to do what he does best, which is to be a leader.
He led them all out to the old picnic table they’ve claimed for themselves for moments like this, and he explains what needs to happen with his DND figurines, and a map to go along with it, and it’s times like these where he feels like a Dungeon Master again. Like he’s leading the party into something bigger than themselves to hopefully emerge victorious, with riches and love, but he knows he’ll never have one of those things. Not truthfully, at least.
And then, Dustin starts doubting the Crawl. “Zone G1? What does it have? A Circuit City, a couple of houses, and a Big Buy? What are the chances Vecna’s shopping for Lucky Charms?” He asks, sarcastically, his curls bouncing as he tilts his head at Mike, as if to ask “Well? Come on, you’re the leader!”, and honestly, it’s more pressure than he likes to admit, but the pressure is what fuels him.
“We don’t stop looking.” He says, determined, locking eyes with each of his friends as he talks, “Even if it takes a 100 more crawls, 1000. We don’t stop until we’re goddamned sure that wrinkled, nose-less, rotting bastard is dead and gone and never coming back. Everyone in?” He asks, placing his hand in the middle of the table, expectantly. Will goes first, placing his hand above Mike’s as if it belongs there. Lucas second. Dustin gets something in about revenge for Eddie, and then, it’s as if the party’s morale is restored. Momentary victory ensues.
Lucas starts whooping, grinning at Mike, and Dustin is nearly on top of his shoulders. Mike grins back, feeling the excitement and anticipation at an all-time high now. Crawls, as much as they are dangerous, they’re fucking exciting too. It’s the one time Mike feels like he does something besides abiding to Hopper’s rules, and he knows he’s not the only one feeling this way either.
Amidst the cheering, however, it’s almost like he senses something is off. The whole party isn’t celebrating just yet, and Will’s presence leaves an ache in his chest that he needs to shake off. But then, he’s worried. Where is Will? He looks around, right as Will doubles over against a tree, and Mike flinches.
Memories come rushing back- the way Will was when he had the Mind Flayer in him. The sweating, the coughing. The way he was so fragile, as his small body was being wracked with coughs, and Mike couldn’t even help, because what could a 13 year old boy do but watch? He wasn’t a doctor. He wasn’t an expert. But God, had he wanted to be.
But now, he can do something about Will being in pain, Now, he feels old enough. Ready enough. And he does do something. He runs around the picnic table, beating Lucas to Will despite the other boy jumping over the picnic table. Immediately, his hands reach out to grasp Will’s waist, to steady him, but then, he flinches back violently, because…
Well.. he doesn’t know why.
He can assume it’s out of nervousness, or maybe because he’d be embarrassed if someone caught him holding Will like that, even for something as mundane as steadying him. But that’s Will- his Will- and frankly, he doesn’t care about what people would think if he were to hold him even in a less mundane way, so why now, why can’t he touch the one person who truly understands him? It’s like some sort of forcefield made up of his own self-insecruities, guilt, and doubt, rendering him useless besides saying “Are you okay?”.
He watches, dejectedly, as Will shakes slightly, as if needing the support, the hands on his waist, his chest, his arms..
Mike swallows thickly, forcing out words at this point. “Was it him?” He asks, a bit dumbly, “Was it Vecna?”
Will shakes his head, looking at Mike with furrowed eyebrows. That damn sad, confused look. “I don’t know.” He says, before explaining how the sky was spinning. How he must just be nervous. And Lucas comments about it, but it goes unheard by Mike, because he’s too busy thinking of solutions or the center of the problem, but all he can say after that is, “Maybe he’s close,” and then, a reminder, of what’s to come.
The words that he had wanted to say died on his tongue, burnt to a crisp like he hopes Vecna will be soon.
—----------------
His sisters were constant reminders in his chaotic life that sometimes he needs to be humbled.
Nancy was the best at it. She humbled him frequently, and she was incredibly smart too, and it made Mike’s chest ache thinking about how she had once opened up to him, in the 18 months that has passed with Jonathan and Will and Joyce living with them, about how she’s unsure about going to Emerson after everything that’s happened and with everything that will inevitably happen. That’s the first time he’s seen his older sister cry in front of him willingly.
But Holly’s different. She humbles Mike, in the way that a little sister does, because she’s always challenging his old, in his opinion more iconic ideas with her new, less attractive ideas. Even if he doesn’t like them or enjoy them, he entertains them, and that means the world to her, or so he thinks. She goes to him, mainly, for the more creative stuff, especially with their parent’s marriage declining rapidly (another thing he’s chosen to shut out for the time being- too much is happening), so he gets to see all of the artwork she creates.
But lately, she’s been acting differently. More distant, more shut-off, and it makes him wonder if she’s maybe being bullied at school, like he knows he was at her age. It makes him want to punt a kid, really, but at the same time, it makes him just want to make her smile again in the way he knows she can- that big old, toothy smile that comes up whenever she makes something new.
So, when he goes to pick her up, and finds her sitting on the bench outside of the office, he can’t help but sit next to her and try and pick her back up, not only because he loves her, but also because he’s on a time limit.
“Is this about your mystery friend again?” He asks, “Mr. Whatsit?” Mr. Whatsit was a new idea of hers. An imaginary friend. He can’t recall having any at her age, and never this intense either. It was as if Holly could see him, truly see him, and it kind of scared him. “He’s only trying to help.” Holly replied, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration. Mike asked how.
“By protecting me. He says.. That there are monsters here, in Hawkins, and they eat children like me.” Mike sighs slightly. It’s not surprising, with the gates being sealed off by government approved steel, that kids would hypothesize about monsters. Still, it brings a chill in his body, even as he hears himself say, “Monsters aren’t real, Holly.” Holly frowned, “I don’t believe you.” Mike retaliates with, “I know you’re scared because of everything that’s happened. With the crazy stories people tell, sometimes I get scared too.” He admits- not because the stories scare him, but because what he truly knows scares him.
“No, you don’t.” She says, half-smiling now. It’s progress. “Are you kidding?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as a grin takes over his face. “Everyone in Hawkins is scared shitless. Anyone who says they aren’t is full of it. Like that mouth-breather in your class.. What’s his name again?”
“Derek..” Holly supplies. He smiles softly, “Yeah, Derek. He probably wets his bed every night.” He watches as Holly giggles slightly. Then, he figures, maybe she’s old enough. Maybe she realizes how some people just don’t understand people like them. He leans down slightly, his voice turning a bit more wispy. “Do you know who I turn to when I’m scared? Mike The Brave.” he says, with a proud smile, as he watches Holly furrow her eyebrows.
She asks who he is, and he supplies her with all of the lore- dungeon crawls, monsters, evil sorcerers, and how he’s never scared, because he knows Mike The Brave wouldn’t be. Then, he mentions Holly The Heroic- a character he’s been making for her for about a year now, which he should’ve waited for, but..
He fishes the small figurine from his bag, and hands it to Holly. “She’s a cleric,” He says, “Which means she has divine powers. She can cast spells of protection to ward off evil spirits, and even cooler? She can cast a dimension door. I mean, come on, came this lameo Mr. Whatsit do any of this?” He asks, with a small scoff. Holly shakes her head no. “Exactly.” He said, his voice turning more soft. He bumps his shoulders with her. “..She’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
And he watches as that genuine, toothy smile appears on her face, and he feels like the heart once more.
—-----------------------
At the Squawk, later that night, it’s tense. Not only because of the impending Crawl, but because they cannot get a hold of Dustin no matter what they do. Mike’s tried calling him on the walkie, Lucas is in the middle of trying. That’s when he sees Eleven and Hopper approaching them from the underground tunnel near the radio station, and he feels himself smile.
He ignores the eyes that he swears he feels in the back of his head as he rushes to Eleven, hugging her tightly. Eleven is the only other person besides Will who truly understands him. They just get each other, he thinks, and they have, from day one, when he found her abandoned in the rain.
They end up on the rooftop together as the sun is setting, and Eleven asks, “Do you think Dustin is okay?” Mike crosses his legs tighter, shrugs. “I hope so. He was acting weird today.” He watches as Eleven’s face twists in concern, “Weird.. How?” Mike sighs, “Just.. angry. Scared, reckless. Not himself.” He says, and Eleven seems to take it in as silence falls in-between them for a few seconds. He watches intently, how her face changes. He knows that look well- when she’s nervous and willing to do anything for someone she loves.
“Hopper’s the same. Not himself.” She admits, with a small shrug of her own, mimicking Mike. Mike decides to voice his own, original thoughts for once. “Maybe it’s just getting to us, you know?” He asks, “ Being… Being stuck in here, not knowing where Vecna is, no end in sight. I mean, we’re really starting to lose it. I mean, we really need to catch a break. And maybe we will. Because earlier, Will had a feeling.” Eleven starts it for him, “And when Will has a feeling..”
Mike nods, confirming it for her, “That means something. So maybe tonight is our break. Maybe even our last crawl. We find Vecna, and we end this, once and for all.” He said, finding the words a bit bitter on his own mouth. He watches Eleven for a second, and his feels his throat become drier as she asks, “And then what happens?”
He forces out a small laugh, a tease- a defense, “You mean, after you totally abolish Vecna?” The laugh that it gets from Eleven is worth his discomfort, he thinks. But now she wants a real answer. An honest-to-god, what the fuck will be our end, kind of answer? And he’s not original, he knows this already, so he relates it to something he knows better than his own parents- DND.
“Well, usually what happens is the party doesn’t return to their local village, because too much has happened. They’ve seen too much. So they travel to a faraway land, a… a peaceful land, somewhere beautiful, with like three waterfalls or something, and they all start again, together.” He rambles, the words coming out easily as if they’re from a DND campaign (they are, he thinks, from about 3 years ago). It gives him a weird feeling of deja vu, or maybe of guilt.
See, there’s a secret that he and El have been keeping from the rest of the party, and that’s that their relationship isn’t exactly.. Well, a relationship anymore. With El being separated all of that time in California from Mike, and with Mike being a goddamn idiot and unable to say three simple words to people he loves, they drifted apart. That’s not to say they’re not friends anymore- they’re best friends. They know each other like a book, like an unwritten fairytale.
But they’ve also become more realistic, he thinks. Maybe this is what has gotten him so caught up in his head, them breaking up. But he thinks it might be something more that he just doesn’t want to admit yet, but he can’t figure out what. Maybe it will come to him soon..
Hah. He wishes it would, because it’s killing him and his anxiety.
—----------------------
The Crawl and its chaotic-ness comes and goes quickly, as it always does, and it always blurs too, like an unfinished oil painting. He vaguely remembers staring at Will when he was trying to convince his mom to let him help, and he had so wanted to interject, to comfort Joyce, to convince Joyce to just.. Let Will go with him. But that wasn’t even the issue, and now.. He’s thinking he just wanted to spend time with Will.
He gets paired with Lucas instead, which is like normal, of course. He vaguely remembers the ever annoying sound of gum being chewed. He remembers a soldier being an absolute dickwad and not moving away from Hopper’s position.
And once Hopper makes it to the Upside Down? Everyone’s happy, and for a moment, the anxiety lifts.
But then, it’s replaced by an even more terrifying chaos. It’s worse for Lucas and him, as they have to hear the commotion via walkie-talkie, but he can make out a few things.
Hopper got stuck in the Upside Down.
There’s a demogorgon on the loose.
And Will.. is in pain.
That’s the final straw, and before he knew it, his legs were on a different track, a different beat, as he rushes back to the Squawk as quickly as he can.
He just doesn’t expect to get interrupted by a family issue.