Work Text:
“The carpet”
Astinus’s voice thudded against the walls of the Great Library’s central hall, answering a question the new visitor never had the chance to ask. After all, taking a peek into the future was a measure of necessity Astinus took in order to keep his work impeccable. Entirely useless it was, of course; men, for all the choices they were given, were nothing but predictable.
The visitor (not Astinus' visitor, not this time) that has stormed through the glass doors had many mouthful titles. People liked to call him the dark mage, the uncanny master of Palanthas’ tower, Raistlin’s reincarnation. More often than not those the names were followed by exaggerated gossip, fairy tales, and fear.
Yes, the dark mage was a Dragonlance hero, too, but so corrupted was his soul.
As for Astinus, Charles Xavier was just an old friend.
***
At their darkest hour the grand library seemed like an island of serenity in comparison to the rest of Ansalon, despite appearances its thick walls did nothing to shut off the roar of the war, nor the high windows helped to hide the nightmare of Chaos pouring from the sky. They were barely strong enough to protect the poor souls treated in the library's underground infirmary.
Unbothered, Astinus’s pen was dancing relentlessly through the pages with a mesmerizing grace, quickly becoming the last, and only record of their existence. Those were the last pages, the last of this world's chronicles, Astinus knew, still, he continued to do his work the same way he has done since the dawn of history.
And so the pages were soon filled with the doings of mages, knights, commoners, elves or dwarves, united against the father of all and nothing and his legions. They were to be named “Heroes of the Chaos War” when, or more precisely if they survived.
He did not bother to take eyes off his work while he kept talking to Charles, doing so would be a sour waste of his priceless time. “On the carpet”, he repeated, as he turned over a newly written page, the movement was so fluid it was barely noticed “He didn’t let the brothers take him to the infirmary or treat his wounds, insisted on waiting here,” he added with a grave tone that was nearly accusing? possible a hint of emotion? nothing short of outrageous from a man believed to be Gilean himself; the patriarch of the neutrality gods. What interest could he possibly have in one petty man’s choices? Astinus was almost distracted enough to shake his head in disbelief.
‘His wounds’ is the phrase to catch Charles’ attention anyway, knowing right away where to go.
*****
The carpet, extending from the west wing of the hall to most of its floor was nearly as famous as Astinus himself. Ancient enough, nobody knew who crafted that intricate wondrous piece of art. According to some myths it was a gift from Gilean’s aunts and patrons of magic sections, suggesting it was a sole evidence that in times of need even polar forces could work together, to create something extraordinary.
He wasn't ready to hear a soft gasp of surprise, and the sound of his name. Erik’s voice, soft as a feather, delighted, and vulnerable in a weird way, indicated one thing: something was wrong, obviously. Hallucinations? he frowned and came closer. Shreds of information and speculations continued to whirl in his numbed yet practical mind. Most people would never believe that Erik, or as they have known him, Paladin's beloved son, the highest rank in the white church, could talk like that.
No, the white priest was not known for tenderness; they were only familiar with the strong, bright leader. He was the sword and shield of the white church, he was an armor of determination and righteousness. Still, there he was, huddled on the floor like a beggar in the midst of the pristine hall.
The dark mage fell on his knees next to Erik in order to observe his medical condition closely. His skin was pale, drenched in cold sweat. Charles' hands moved without thinking, pulling the robes off his shoulder where they could've hidden injuries or maladies. With trembling fingers he moved Erik’s joints around the stab injury- Charles could feel the jagged edges of the skin, the warmth of his blood, the wound was still open and leaking, while Erik lay there, pliant in his arms.
He touched almost everywhere below Erik's neck, letting his fingers guide him when his eyes couldn't. Other than the stab wound there were no fatal wounds or dangerously broken bones. There was no purpose to still touch Erik, but he didn't let go as if he was confirming Erik wasn’t a figment of his imagination with his fingertips.
He knew should have come sooner! He should have-
No! his practical mind pushed back, he couldn't have come earlier because Jean needed his help, the rest of the warriors too. He should be focusing is Erik's health. He would take every measure to make sure Erik survived until the battle ends and then... he will figure it out.
It would’ve been so easy for him to treat Erik's wounds, it's laughable, even now, as he was- exhausted and restrained from most of his abilities. Bloody heavens! He gave his niece her best chance to save the world, only right now he was useless. Odd sensation it was, being the most powerful mage in the universe, he never bothered to feel helpless or frustrated on behalf other people. Ironically, it was Erik who dreamt of saving people since he was young. The passion for justice, and its twin- the rage for the lack of it; were Erik’s strongest suite. Charles was calm, calculated, isolated in his tower as he resigned from human company forever. And today, Charles helped to save the world but he can't save Erik. What a joke
‘Thinking about the past is useless’ Charles scoffed at himself ‘better concentrate on measuring Erik's heartbeat. He pressed two fingers to the pulse in his neck, warm and faint. He knew he could heal Erik’s wounds completely, as much as he knew he would never do that. He would nםא taint a man of the white church with dark magic, not even to save Erik.
“I knew you would come for me, old friend” Erik pressed closer to him.
Charles twitched, quick to block whatever Erik's words made him feel and concentrate on stabilizing his condition. His voice was, off… wheezy... if Erik had internal injuries...those are impossible to treat without magic, their options were dwindling each moment Charles forced the bile rising in his throat, it was not the time.
Erik made another attempt to speak but Charles cut him swiftly “Stop talking, favorite son, you need to save your strength if you want to survive this war” he pressed Erik's shoulder back to the floor where he tried to sit straight, too close to the stab wound, it probably hurt.
"Yes, doctor" that bitter tone was more familiar to Charle. Erik sighed and asked, indifferent, "So tell me, have I already watched my last sunset? ate my last breakfast?"
Charles stopped but his fingers twitched, he hated Erik for being clever enough to understand the severity of his condition.
“No snarky comments? is it pity Charles?" Erik shrugged "That's a first. Your hands are cold!” he wiggled like a spoiled brat throwing tantrum but did not make any move to take Charles’ hands off, deformed as they were. “And the title is uncalled for, I suppose” the grimace was evident in his voice “Can we at least agree it is a ridiculous, considering I am nobody’s favorite currently?”
Charles finally snapped “Your petty provocations will end now priest! You of all people should be particular on the correct protocol I don’t need to remind you who you are”
“-And what I will never be?”
"I said silence! I want to heal but there is so much I could do without-" Charles breathed heavily, he felt Erik's eyes at the back of his neck for a brief moment then turned away. He forgot how suffocating Erik's undivided attention could be, anyhow, he was there to help Erik, to put their differences aside, he shouldn’t have been so harsh on him.
"Then leave" Erik still had his back to Charles "clearly I am holding you back here, against your will. Go back to your little tower Charles."
The seizure was anything but expected, Charles thought bitterly as his body jerked. The effort of getting to the library finally caught up to him, of being there, with Erik. He was still weak, still cursed. He coughed violently and gasped for air, spitting blood into his sleeve. How could Erik talk to him like that? How dare he sound so serene at first and then send him off, while he was dying there, right in front of Charles?! Coming here proved to be a grave mistake.
A gentle hand held his wrist “breath” Erik was rising slowly to sit next to him, then buried his face in Charles' shoulder. His body so close to Charles, his other hand came around his neck. This was it- it was as close as Erik ever got to Charles and Erik kept pushing his limits.
He was still struggling to control his coughing though he breathed better. He resolved to tend to Erik as much as he could and then make sure he is taken care by one of the brothers. Thereafter he will be free to return to his tower and wait for the end of the world there, far from Erik. No one could blame him he didn't try enough.
There was a long silence before Erik talked again “I know you never look me in the eyes, but the world is literally ending now. It’s alright... to stop keeping yourself away". He looked pitiful, with his shoulders hunched close and the emotion cuts even deep into Charles, however, he can't bring himself to- .
It took even longer time to continue "Please Charles, don’t avoid me” Erik pled wistfully, his voice barely above whisper “not now" and took Charles' hood down.
Charles breathed harder, his skin burned with eagerness to get out of there, but his legs were frozen next to Erik. He tried to avert his eyes, yet not quickly enough to miss a glimpse of a pair of soft eyes, seeking.
Erik already lost his patience and took hold of his chin. Charles felt hot wetness rolling down his cheeks, he hasn’t cried for decades. He can't... he could never bring himself to look at Erik again, not with those cursed eyes. A familiar hand, long elegant fingers, that were never able to produce magic despite Charles relentless efforts, tilted his chin again. He was trying to stop himself from sinking into the abyss of memories he had deemed lost forever. His breath stopped; distantly aware Erik keeps talking, however, he’s too overwhelmed to actually listen to everything he says. He had grown used to his new sight: for nearly a decade he saw everything, everyone rotting, fading, dying, any living flesh and plant. A method to keep Charles humble, to teach him about compassion, or so the conclave rats claimed.
Erik doesn’t change anymore. Charles looks right at him and the sand of his hourglass pupils stops moving, he doesn’t see rotten flesh falling from Erik's bones, he doesn’t see his eyes became hollow pits. Charles sees Erik as he is for the first time in decades since they were young. He can’t be sure if this was some form of magic or that he’s simply delusional but the sand in his curse of the sand clock has stopped running and Erik... definitely looks older than he remembers, but also, he stays the same. Erik stares back into the golden irises and deformed pupils. Once more he was first to break the heavy silence, his silver eyes were bright as stars.
“I remember the time when those eyes were blue”
***
Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier knew each other ever since they were children and neighbors. They grew up together, went to the same school, exhibited talents and wit superior to any man in their rural village. Naturally, they were set apart from those people in that godsforsaken place and their meager resources. Charles had it easier, the flames of magic burned in his fingertips before he celebrated 12 springs, Erik on the other hand, had nothing, he had to struggle.
“Try again!!” Charles commanded. He tried to teach Erik everything he had learned from the old master, despite that, nothing seemed to catch on, not even a simple coin trick. Erik preferred to spend his time with Raven training swords anyway, dreaming of becoming a knight of the rose order one day. Kids dream, Charles and Erik were not different.
There were adventures and happy times, times of careless juvenile joy with the rest of their friends, with Raven. Few of Erik's most favorite memories were of Charles, who used to perform cheap magic tricks to sate his hunger for books and knowledge, while he chased merchants, manipulated and argued until they sold the book he wanted for the exact price Charles could afford. Sometimes they stayed up all night, when Charles couldn't fall asleep with all the noise Raven made at night and Erik could not concentrate his meditation for the very same reason. They argued about the books they've read, subjects they couldn't talk about with the other people of Green Haven (whom usually were good-natured but gullible) and frequently about their plans for the future.
Erik was too proud to admit he disliked the snarky and physically weak Charles when he should feel compassion towards the less fortunate child of Paladin. It was even harder to admit he liked Charles' sharp tongue and the burning fire of his blue eyes.
While it was obvious as the sun and the three moons Charles should become a scholar and eventually a mage, Erik was still struggling to find his path, uncertain what to do in the future. Charles always mocked him to be so righteous he should have been a knight, if only he was lucky enough to be born a noble family.
Eventually, at the age of eighteen, Raven managed to secure Charles a patron that recognized a spark of talent in Charles, an old man to fund his tuition and Charles in return, would serve as his personal health attendant until he takes the trials of the conclave. Later on, Charles, with much difficulty, managed to secure Erik work as a mercenary for the same lord's personal guard. They've fought together, back to back, for five years but no matter how much time has passed Erik didn't feel he belonged there. After the war ended and Ansalon was freed from the terror of the dragons he decided to go to the capital and devote himself to Paladin and his church for the rest of his life. Charles went and took the trials.
***
Time passed but Charles' hunger to see Erik's face was yet to be sated. He studied every single detail, every change he had missed as if there were secrets hidden in the sharp curve of his jaw, or the deep crow's feet near his eyes, the scar he got when they were boys. Erik beamed at him, his eyes shone brighter than a star jewel.
Defeated by fatigue, Erik curled next to Charles, resting his head on his arm “I’m sorry” he muttered, moving, restless in Charles’ arms.
“you do not know what you apologize for, Erik” Charles barely manages to lift the corner of his mouth in a broken smile “besides, if my memory serves me right I have hurt you too. You nearly died”
“No” Erik shook his head, they both had their own ambitions, he was just as selfish as Charles, he knows that well now. Pretending otherwise would be a complete lie, he had left Charles within a heartbeat, as soon as a chance had risen in the capital. He didn't want to think about Charles wrongdoings', he got over the wounds Charles inflicted on him in the past. He'd like to believe that, even if it wasn't entirely true. “Before the test, before you have walked down Shoikan grove, and after. I was arrogant and just as manipulative as you were, blinded by power disguised as righteousness. I had no right to try to change you and abandon you when you didn't. I was in need to be humble again."
"You forget I have known you your whole life, Erik." Charles drawled "You are in possession of many qualities, however, modesty was never one of them"
Erik smacked his arm lightly but Charles ignores it. He can't figure what Erik was trying to achieve here, he wasn't clueless about Erik's desire to change him, Charles had used that weakness many years ago for his own ambitions. Even so, hearing Erik's confession makes him feel uneasy, like a man on his deathbed confessing his sins.
“I failed to see what really matters Charles.”
Charles was already lying on the floor too, parallel to Erik. His robes were tangled with Erik’s filthy cloak. Clean they were opposites, but now as the white dust made the robes sharp blackness fade into gray they were almost the same.
“Stop it” Charles murmured, his hold around Erik’s waist loosened “Don’t strain yourself talking about the past, we have little time to spare as it is, let's not waste it talking about things we cannot change”
***
Sometimes Erik wakes up with horrendous images, horrors that do not belong to him.
He doesn't know why he could see what happened to Charles during the test, how he was abused under false justifications. Sometimes, Erik foolishly thought it was some kind of divine punishment for failing Charles, failing to help him to see the truth of this world, of his path. Sometimes he believed it was because Charles always had a peculiar mind. He wouldn’t be taken by surprise if he discovered they shared some sort of bond, even despite Charles’ betrayal. In any case, he couldn't explain this any more than he could explain his other visions. If he will make it through to Charles tonight, perhaps he would ask him.
Erik braced himself, he had to do that, for the good of the entire realm he will prove Charles he could be better. A part of him was still in denial he was actually going to try and pass Shoikan grove, only to arrive the tower of Palantes- a place where physically lied the portal to hell, Erik thought hysterically. The last time he came here Charles, lured him to the tower himself… ended badly, to say the least. Charles tried to exploit Erik’s weakness for him, his desire to stop Charles who was on the road to self-destruction. Well, now was not a good time to think about Charles' treacherousness
His goal was to arrive the tower of Palanthas to see Charles, he needed to remember, and the only way to arrive the tower is to pass in Shoikan grove, the second most foul place on earth, outmatched only by the tower it protects.
Sudden desperation crushed him like a wave, he wanted to curl into a ball on the ground and leave his soul to the demons of the grove. His heart pounded in his chest, his palms were sweaty but his mouth was dry, he went lost. Darkness has surrounded him viscerally, blinding every sense. Prayers to Paladin and his kin were useless here, even the gods do not dare keep an eye on this place, and now he’s going to die here leaving his soul to serve the god of the undead for all eternities because he was stupid enough to think he could reach Charles one last time. He has been warned not to seek help in the dark mage and against all reason he did just that. Stupid, useless, damn pride.
The dark shape appearing in front of Erik was the first thing he had actually seen there rather than feeling its presence. “Wear this” it growled as a big furry hand with claws at its tips shoved some kind some kind of talisman into Erik's hand. Desperate as he was that moment, he did not think twice before he put the necklace around his neck and clenched the star-shaped talisman. The vile creatures of the grove finally backed off, hissing returning to their cursed caves. The sudden light emitted from its jewels was enough to follow the beast's lead to the tower and Erik finally arrives there in one piece.
Only once he is relatively safe, he’s free to pay full attention to his savior, resembling a wild animal rather than a human being, the beast- Charles’ notorious apprentice.
For all his good manners he couldn't quite take his eyes from the morbid sight of the five wounds in the beast’s bare chest, drenching his blue fur with crimson blood. They say that the dark mage put a spell on the beast's mind, forcing him to claw his own chest, each night he reopens them. A punishment, for spying after his master for the mages’ conclave. If the beast noticed Erik's unwarranted attention he does not say anything and leads Erik in a maze of high stairs and rooms filled with whatever the most powerful mages fill their towers with.
Surprisingly he still remembers Charles' study, dark and morbid with Charles sitting at the end of a long desk.
“Hello old friend, what do I owe this brave visit? beast, please fix our guest something to eat and drink. The best we have of course” The beast excused himself, leaving drops of blood after him, leaving Charles and Erik alone.
“Hopefully our wine won’t corrupt the pristine throat of Paladin's most beloved son, we can't allow that.”
Charles uttered every word soft and tempting, mocking Erik, as Erik deserved for his reckless stupidity. Charles didn’t even bother to look at him, most of his face was completely hidden in the shadows of his hood but he could see the sickly yellow color of his skin. He was wrong to believe the hardest part was passing through Shoikan grove. All this effort for nothing, only to be teased by Charles and still he could not tear his gaze from the floor. He could not dare look at the snow white skin turned yellow he had seen so many times in his dreams, to witness the horrid consequences of the test on his body, and admit to himself that this was not the man he trusted with his life on the battlefield, he was a man he did not know.
Erik may have walked down Shoikan grove where many brave men couldn’t, still he was a coward.
“Charles, I came here as a friend.”
Charles snorted “by all means, priest, explain”
Erik felt the heat of his fury rising in his veins as he raised his voice “We’ve known each other all of our lives, Charles. We are brothers you and me. We might wear different colors but we want the same things! You know very well destruction lying ahead of us. The gods are still refusing to talk to me, something is happening to them! something huge! If we sit and do nothing, everyone, everything, the world as we know it will be ruined! Our future-”
“Do not speak to me like one of the peasants you preach in your ivory halls! I don’t want your future! I do not care about your future” his chest was heaving with exertion. He stopped to collect his composure then grimaced “You know very well I don’t get involved in matters of the common people, Erik”
“You mean matters that do not suit your personal ambitions is it, Charles?” Erik fired back “we have a chance here Charles. Be the better man”
“I already am!” Charles slammed his hands on the table “I survived the test when the old rats wanted to wipe me off! They’ve crippled me and still failed to hold me back. I will go down the abyss to challenge Takhisis and come back as a victoire!”
Erik expression was of cast iron, he can't push away from his mind his darkest time when Charles used him, but still it was not the time, he was desperate to convince Charles of the urgency. Jean was a talented mage, as everyone expected of Charles’ niece, yet she was too young and inexperienced on her own.
“Won’t do it for the people you care for? Do you not have one soul in the world you want to save in this world? You still have family Charles! Your sister, your nephews, your old friends. Won’t you do that for them?”
not even for me? a poisonous thought curled around his heart like a snake, He wanted to curse himself for being so weak, for still wanting. How much would he let Charles crush him before he accepts his true nature?
Charles’ lips thinned into a sneer “No” he ripped Erik’s heart out of his chest “Not one soul, I’m sorry you made all the effort to get here for nothing, white priest. Beast will help you out” and turned his back on Erik to leave.
“Of course,to seek” Erik thought bitterly, he had to be ten kinds of fool to think there was still hope for Charles. No, it was not his fault. He tried, as a favorite, he should always believe the good will overcome the bad. Anger was rising in his throat like hot bile, no matter how desperately he wanted to believe somewhere Charles would be like when they were young, each and every time Charles proved Erik he was wrong: evil will remain evil unless it was destructed completely. He won't let him go without letting a taste his own bitter pill.
“You are pathetic” freezing Charles’ steps, his back turned to Erik “you might find immortality, you could become a god, but nobody will follow you. You will be a lonely cursed god just as you are a lonely cursed human now, and you know it. You will only have people’s fear, never their loyalties” each word that came from Erik’s mouth was dripping poison.
“Then fear it is, old friend.” Charles smiled coldly “If you may Beast, escort the favorite son out, his sight is not well as it used to be”
While Charles reaction was expected Erik was shocked by his own; Charles brought him to his knees, no Paladin cleric would speak or act as disgracefully as Erik had right now. No man of Paladin would even coseeking an alliance with a man as corrupted as Charles, Erik has, and it was useless.
Shame burned into Erik’s skin long after a foreign clawed hand clung around his wrist and yanked him into the darkness outside.
***
“What made you change your mind Charles? Why did you help Jean?" Charles smiled "Jean was talented enough to convince me herself" Erik tried to ignore the peak of jealousy of Jean, succeeding where he had failed before.
"Then why did you come here?"
Erik regretted the question the moment it left his mouth, uncertain if he truly wants to know the reason. Charles' silence hurt even more, whatever the reason was it wasn't what Erik ever wanted so he pressed Charles harder “Why did you go out of your high tower Charles, away from your precious apprentice? Would you have even come here if there was more time? if the bloody world wasn’t about to end? I came for you, to your lonely tower. You had a choice but you never chose me. I wasn’t good enough reason” Erik choked, he couldn't stop the tears from rolling on his cheeks “Is that it, Charles? Am I only good enough for you when we're dying? I was never a real option, I could never come first. Always a fool"
Charles was speechless, he wanted to tell Erik how he’s always in his mind, always tormenting him with possibilities he could never have, that he kept further away as he fell deeper into the darkness. What good it would make to tell him? that there never was an option. They both made the choices that made them powerful, that kept the world a safer place. Still, he sees Charles as a monster, blames him for everything. This time, it's easier to resort to the rage.
“You so-called came to me? you came to seek my assistance for your church! You sought to use me! for your own goals! Is that how I am supposed to know you held any feelings to a sorry creature like me, other than shining white pity? I don't owe you explanations, white priest” Charles says with finality. The confrontation was unavoidable, he had let himself get caught in a sickening, sweet, fantasy and now it was time for the bitter truth. “And I don’t understand why you are so insistent on the matter, you've said it yourself, you have abandoned me first, long before we made it to the capital, before we’ve left Green Haven."
Erik froze “I didn’t…”
Charles' voice was sharp as a knife “you did, very effectively”
“No!” Erik deflected, his face contorted with rage “It was you who didn't care about me, you made it crystal clear that nobody, including myself, has a place in your heart!”
“Why should I, when you clearly didn't care about me? You came to me the high priest seeking the dark mag’s help, you wanted to take advantage of my weakness for you, for your own purposes just as you had before. Not once you came to me of your own free will, not once you came to me as yourself. Don’t delude yourself you have treated me any better than I have treated you. You are not the victim here.”
Erik’s paled, he felt as if his heart would break out of his ribcage. He didn’t... Charles thought… he always assumed Charles mocked him because he was aware, it seems, Charles never knew. Charles thought Erik was just trying to manipulate his weakness for him.
"Fine, you can hate me all you want Charles, but you can't leave me now." He didn’t know what else he could do but hold on to Charles' arm. No matter what Charles thought about him, how despicable he was in Charles' eyes, he won’t give him a chance leave his side again. For a while, the room was quiet, only far away cries of war and the quiet whisper of Astinus’ pen
Charles' gaze was stuck on the mosaic window in front of them “I came because the world is ending and whatever sins I made I’ve already paid for when I helped Jean. And then they told me you were hurt and I couldn’t… I try to imagine my life without you but I can’t. I can't leave you alone. If that’s not good enough for you Lehnsherr I will leave right now” The silence was deafening in Charles' ears, he was deeply regretting every word he uttered the second he ended talking.
Erik looked stunned, his face was paler than before. He expected the much-deserved rage but not a confession. He was a weakness trapped within Charles.
Charles fidgeted, clearly trying to hold still his anxiety. After everything said and done, too much exposure, he was so vulnerable, so he loosens his arms around Erik and moves backward, ready to leave.
“Idiot” Erik whispered as his fingers dug into his Charles' waist “Golden eyes or blue, monster or hero, I’ve loved you even when you nearly killed me, even when I shouldn’t have, loved you if I had any common sense.” Erik smiles but the tremor in his voice is a dead giveaway "I don't have a reason, I don't know why but I do." Erik can't remember if he had ever seen Charles as stunned as he looked right now. "That's a rather insulting love confession Erik" he protested half-heartedly "There should be at least one reason-"
“-and I don’t want you to leave because I love you and if those are my breaths are the last breaths that I ever take then you are going to stay right here by my side Charles!” Erik huffed, the outburst was taking the last bit of his energy “and don’t you ever question the depth of my feelings for you!”
Charles was too stunned to think, let alone answer.
“You’ve said it” Erik gaped and a gentle smile spread on his face when he registered Charles’ words “finally you’ve said my name”
*****
Barely anything was left from the great library, similarly to most of Palanthas’ magnificent buildings. The rooms containing Astinus, Charles and Erik are oddly standing still. The power of magic was visceral, dominant in the air, Charles could feel it in his bones. It will end soon, one way or another. Nonetheless, he felt hope, for Ansalon at least. He was fiercely proud of his niece, he trusted her. He craved for more time, every second they have ever spent apart from him was wrong, wasted.
"An Xavier praying?" Erik smiled weakly "miracles do happen every day"
Charles snorted "I have not uttered a word"
"I have been a priest most of my life, dear" Erik patted his hand "I know a man praying when I see one"
Charles sighed and looked at him "No amount of praying would save me from the gods' scorn anyway"
Erik smiled “But we have it, a final grace perhaps? whatever it is, I am grateful you are here with me, that you’ve found your way back to me, even it was just before the end of the world." He leaned on Charles' shoulder again "Thank you, love, for staying with me. I didn’t want to be here alone.”
Astinus was already on the last page,
“Can I have one last request” Erik hurried, they have no time to waste now “and you must fulfill it because the world is ending and you love m-”
“Anything” Charles answered firmly. He was used to feeling physically weak, he was used to all kinds of pain since he could remember himself, but no pain, nothing could compare to the pain of Erik withering in his arms, lacing his fingers with his own, the pure alabaster next to his scarred golden skin. Erik pressed his lips to the back of his hand and pulled Charles even closer, his hands now were around Charles' neck. He is so close Charles could feel his faint breath on his face and whispered on his lips “Give us a new home, love” and brushed his lips against Charles, painfully brief, and still perfect “someplace warm preferably, and big trees like Green Haven”
Charles says nothing, it still hurts too much to make the snarky comment Erik was expecting for, he can't bring himself to joke about the future like Erik. He doesn’t want to leave now, not when finally… he has to figure out something to freeze time. He will! it's not unlikely Raistlin kept one of his spellbooks here, he just needs more time; one more day one more hour and maybe he could-
"Fine" Erik pouted “forget about the big trees, I knew you were just a show-off." But Charles was still distant, too observed trying to figure out a way.
"Just stay by my side"
Erik clears the fog in Charles' head. He made all Charles’ thoughts fade like blowing dust from a cover of an old book. Charles could only smile faintly in response, he became so greedy so fast
“Finally, we want the same things, I will give you a warm place to stay, Erik.”
"Don't forget about the trees" Erik's eyes slowly closed as Charles cradled his head with his hands.
Every cell in Charles’ body screamed in agony, those emotions were clawing his body since he was a young boy, deeper than any disease, never fully gone no matter how deeply he devoted himself to the darkness.
Astinus stopped writing
First came the darkness and then the great light shattering through space. And earth was so far away, it was nothing but a blinking spot in the new sky above their heads.
****
It wasn’t different waking up from a dream. light raindrops were dancing over Jean's face, she was, for all that she knew, alive! The spell worked! She wanted to cry and laugh and kiss Ororo because they have won. She had to tell her uncle that they did it.
“Thank the gods” Ororo hugged her “or whoever” her eyes were red and her silver hair tangled, she wasn’t wearing the silver armor she had worn before, during the battle.
The world made little sense to Jean right now.
“You’ve been trapped in your mind for over a week” Ororo explained as she sniffed and released Jean from the smothering hug, Jean knew she felt embarrassed to leave her outside of the infirmary tents full to their absolute capacity limit, they might have defeated Chaos, but not without a price. Poor Ororo, Jean felt sorry she couldn't have been there to support her, she was still too young to carry the burden of leadership.
The rest of the update was brief since Ororo didn't want to overwhelm her. She has been informed her parents and Logan were safe, Scott was still slowly healing from his wounds but nothing the elven half in his blood couldn't fix. “He-" Jean knew exactly whom Ororo meant, "He is gone” her voice barely a whisper and her eyes wet with tears again, she probably stayed by her side as long as she could just to deliver that news to Jean herself. “They said he was heading to the great library where he should have met Astinus and the white priest, but they were all gone, only the books remained” Ororo’s voice trembled “The skies are empty, Jean. The moons… they all have left us”
Jean snapped her head again to the sky, the three moons were gone, replaced by one pale moon. The constellations she had learned by heart and accompanied her entire life were gone, replaced with weird unsensible disarrayed points, random speckles of a paint on an endless canvas. Fragments of memories from events that she had never witnessed swirled in her mind, a soft touch on her hand and warm golden eyes that she had known for a short time but their memories will stay with her forever from now on “You did well, white mage”.
Ororo nearly lost her breath as she saw Jean's eyes rolling, turning white - visions were uncommon even amongst the highest priests and Jean was merely a mage, but more importantly, what visions could one have from a godless sky?!
Long after her vision Jean continues to search in the new stars-embedded sky. Ororo already left to find them some food, however, Jean can't shake the feeling she was missing something important until she finds it, in the middle of wings shaped constellation, one spot shining slightly brighter than the rest, and she smiles.
The gods may have left them, but they were not alone.