Archive of Our Own ^beta

I. Te amaré

The first time he ever thought those four words—and the moment the spiral began—was on a completely ordinary and rather pleasant off-season morning.

Carlos woke up to the mouthwatering smell of his favorite lemon cookies swirling around him, invading his senses and planting a sleepy smile on his face before he even opened his eyes. Getting up slowly, stretching his limbs with no hurry, he was guided to the kitchen by the wafting waves of the familiar citrus scent. There he found Jannik, his designated chef ever since they had gotten together, taking the delicious pastries out of the oven with the new mittens he had gotten him to protect those perfect hands. The baking tray was placed on the stove carefully, hands became uncovered and Jannik's eyes met his, softening immediately as a small smile appeared on his face. Carlos could feel a mutual one forming on his lips just at the sight of him, a known but unlabeled warm feeling budding in his chest.

"Amore, already awake? Hai dormito bene?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around him, reciprocating the hug Carlos had initiated.

"Sí. Gracias por las galletas, Janni."

The kiss placed on the top of his head, which was currently buried in the emitter of said kiss's shoulder, served as an answer. He replied tightening his arms around his back momentarily, then letting go reluctantly to set the table for breakfast. The buzzing of the coffee machine in the background silenced the light sound the plates and silverware made when being set down on the marble counter. The two men moved around the room, each focusing on their task, with an energy which told any external viewer that this was a routine set in place and executed multiple times before. Carlos sat down on the stool observing the elegant way his boyfriend-chef-barista moved around the kitchen, clean and efficient, comparing them in his head to backhand winners.

Tennis wouldn't ever leave them alone, not in this lifetime anyways. It hadn't since they first stepped onto a tennis court, since they first hit a little green-yellow ball, and he was glad about that fact. It was the sport that got them together, after all. Nonetheless, maybe associating his boyfriend's way of making breakfast to his deadliest shots, however accurate the comparison may be, might be slightly too far-fetched. He let out a chuckle at his own thoughts, earning a raised eyebrow from Jannik.

"Che c'è?"

"Nothing, nothing. No te preocupes."

He earned a confused albeit amused smile for that. There was little which could distract Carlos from the lovable view of those bunny teeth, but his favorite cookies were apart of that list. He reached out to grab at the plates of food to serve them each breakfast the very moment Jannik put down the food. As the perfect gentleman his mamá raised, he obviously prepared Jannik's plate before his own. After having fixed both their plates with great care and an amount of concentration that might have been unnecessary for such a task, Carlos only saw the endearing look on his lover's face for a few seconds before he felt a hand on his nape and another on his cheek, pulling him in for a kiss.

Soft, supple, lips moved against each other. Long fingers threaded the short black hair at the back of his neck. A finger caressed his unshaven cheek delicately. Carlos's arm wrapped around Jannik's neck and his shoulder, pulling him in even further, while his other hand went to brush and twirl the red curls on the side of his head. Angles changed, the kiss deepened, but it remained sweet, gentle, pure. A testament of words not yet exchanged, but felt profoundly by each.

Carlos was very close to climbing into the other's lap, when Jannik himself pulled away. He jutted out his bottom lip, trying to convince him by using what Jannik deemed to be "dirty" tactics—pouting was a very fair method in this type of situation, thank you very much! He only got a peck on his forehead, which meant next time he would definitely have to up his game, methods yet to be schemed. Jannik's words brought him out of his, what he thought to be, conniving thoughts.

"Eh? ¿Qué ha dicho?" Jannik laughed.

"Dai, mangia la colazione prima che diventi fredda. We have all the time in the world, we can continue this later…" Carlos didn't have to be told twice, that's for sure. He took a biscuit, bit into it and let out a sound of satisfaction. The mystery of how Jannik made them so soft, so lemony, and just so delicious, would never be solved, in Carlos's experienced and very professional opinion. For his great work in baking, the chef in question won two smacking kisses on the cheek. The bunny teeth reappeared once again, as well as the feeling which warmed his entire body, a certain giddiness overtaking him.

Carlos had fallen asleep cuddled up to Jannik, only to wake up to him gone and to a post-it note explaining that he had gone to the store to get groceries for the week. To be fair, it was quite necessary given that the task was long overdue. They would run out soon if it was not done now. He glanced at the clock, but his gaze was caught on the framed picture of the both of them on the mantle, laughing together at one of the many events they were forced to go to. That night was a very fond memory for Carlos, and probably also for Jannik, as it was their first event as a couple, even if it was, and still is, kept a secret for obvious reasons. However, it felt as if they were actually free and out in the open by going there together, albeit it not really being the case, kind of like an illusion. In any case, secret or public relationship, they had a nice time at what usually is a boring media event. Carlos found himself going down a trip on memory lane before he could stop himself.

They had gotten ready together that evening; an uncommon thing back then, a natural thing now. Jannik had gotten ready quickly, looking undeniably and delectably handsome. Seriously, if they did not have anywhere to go, Carlos would not have hesitated to climb him like a tree. Anyway, he had insisted on helping the other man get ready, which was actually a ploy to make him all flustered—a fact he only realized way too late. He remembered the smell of Jannik's expensive cologne, a gift from one of his sponsors which then got gifted to him, because he had said on one single occasion that he liked the fragrance. If that was not an affirmation of Jannik's character, Carlos did not know what it was.

He remembered the feeling of nimble fingers on his collar, straightening the pristine fabric smoothly, following the slow buttoning of each button on his shirt. The slide of Jannik's hands on his torso during this process were gentle enough to leave him his composure and dignity, but teasing enough that a pinkish flush spread from his cheeks to his chest. This, in fact, did not go unnoticed by the man in front of him, who was sporting a small, visible, smug grin which he just wanted to wipe off. It reminded him of the same expression he wore whenever he scored a very impressive point, but in those cases, it usually stayed concealed. It also reminded him of himself, with the quick, accidental touches he had used to fluster Jannik when they had not yet confessed.

His usual confidence seemed to have dissipated, most likely because he already knew this was going to be the most meaningful relationship of his life, and didn't know how to act yet. Nowadays, when they start playing this little game, both flirt with equal fervor. However, he tried to fight back during this little dance by trying to tie his own tie, not giving Jannik other opportunities to make him turn crimson. In the end, he had let his boyfriend tie it for him, after three failed attempts, glaring at him while the other hid his smugness.

By the time Jannik had tied his shoes, and kissed him as an apology for the extent of the teasing, Carlos had gone back to his usual, over-energetic, bouncing-off-the-walls self. They were dancing around the room—"to prepare for the event, just in case"—as Carlos had suggested, mostly just to make fun of Jannik, laughing and giggling while tripping over themselves, considering that they were both awful dancers.

Present Carlos laughed at the memory, opening his eyes back up again, that same warm feeling taking over him, like it did this morning, like it had done over the past months in increasing frequencies. Jannik really did a lot of things for him, he seemed to enjoy it honestly, Carlos thought. Whether it was dressing him, cooking heartfelt meals, doing the groceries, pampering him, he always seemed to take great pleasure in doing it. Carlos had once felt as if he did not do enough compared to him, and told Jannik about these feelings, who then decided to go on a five-minute rant on every single thing Carlos apparently does for him.

He had never felt so seen, so appreciated in his life until he had gotten with Jannik, the man who seemed to have walked out of his dreams. Carlos hopes this relationship will last forever, that they'll get to grow old together. This feeling, this indescribable, beautiful, incredible feeling, so strong that he feels its effects physically, was something he had never felt for someone before. It was more powerful that appreciation, than affection, or simple fondness. It was—

Carlos shot up from where he was laying down, suddenly wide alert.

Oh.

Oh.

Estoy enamorado de Jannik.

.

.

.

He heard keys jingling outside, and then the lock turned two times, and the man responsible for his current crisis walked through the threshold. Carlos barely had time to compose himself.

"Carlos? Sono tornato!"

"¡Voy!"

——————🎾——————

For someone constantly described as "cold" and "serious", Jannik was surprisingly cuddly.

Carlos really did not know what to expect after their heartfelt conversation in his hotel room following a brutal final and an open-hearted kiss in the locker room, the same honest conversation which helped them in their decision to finally get together. His worries on how this new development would affect their actions, mostly his, which would ultimately create a certain awkwardness between them, quickly disappeared once he was actually in Jannik's presence. The man seemed to have some sort of magical and strange effect on him, making him unable to be sure of his actions, while giving him a renewed confidence. While they were still in the giddy, clumsy honeymoon phase of this new relationship, he felt strangely at ease, even if he sometimes behaved as if he had remained the same teenager that would turn red at the mention of his crush on a red-haired boy he saw every once in a while—jódete, Alvaro!

He had once wondered if he had a similar influence on his boyfriend, actually admitting all of his insecurities to him, and then he told him a heartwarming confession that night, when they were pressed up against each other, ready to go to sleep. These words would remain engraved on his heart, he thought.

"You make me feel as if I could tell you anything, anything at all, and you'd just listen. Like, I could tell you my secrets, i più profondi, and you'd keep them, to the grave. Mi capisci, meglio di tutti. And, you're the most kindhearted person I've ever met. I'm convinced your smile lights up worlds… You make shame disappear, like if I said something stupid in front of the whole world, you'd just defend me without question. You make me feel things I've never felt before, with anyone. Sei la mia persona, la mia metà. You, just, make me feel safe, y'know? In a way no one else has ever been able to," Jannik confessed, face pressed into his chest.

Carlos remembered having frozen as a result of those words. He did not know how to feel in that moment, until a warmth gradually settled in his body. He had never felt so seen before, so understood. It was as if Jannik had taken all the abstract thoughts in his head and emotions he felt, and put them into words said aloud. People often assumed he was the most self-assured between the two of them, but if they were to ask Carlos's opinion on the matter, he would easily tell them Jannik is one of the bravest people he had ever met. His fingers resumed their previous ministrations in the messy curls facing him.

"Ditto," Jannik gave him a confused look for that response, raising his head and laying his chin on his chest to be able to look up at him. "It's a word Americans use to say "me too". Ben taught me it!" Carlos explained, enthusiastically. The man in front of him only smiled lazily before tightening his hold on him and giving him a kiss. They had both slept soundly that night.

Now, Carlos could put a name on the feeling he felt during that moment, during many moments with Jannik actually.

Love.

He always thought it was going to be this revolutionary revelation, an emotion that would turn his world upside down. Who would have known that it would have been the complete opposite? Love had lingered in him, a sentiment growing at its own pace inside of him, making him feel calm, steady, like the feeling of the cozy warmth under the blankets on a winter morning. It had began the first time he had seen Jannik, probably, on that court for a Challenger event, when they were both teenagers who did not know what the future would hold. It slowly accompanied him throughout the years, changing as his relationship with his rival changed, until, before he himself knew it, it had consumed him entirely. It kind of seemed as if love had taken Jannik's traits, as if love had taken his personality and made it into a unique feeling that he would be able to feel with only one person, the person he would forever cherish. Carlos wondered if love felt the same for everyone, or if it depended on who they fell in love with, he thought about asking his mamá what she felt for his papá.

Anyways, back to the very important subject: Jannik Sinner likes physical touch.

It certainly is not his main love language, as he had established previously, but he does enjoy it. At the beginning of their relationship, a main worry of Carlos's was about physical touch, as he was known for being tactile and cuddly, or the complete opposite of Jannik. Obviously, he would have adapted to the other, but he did not want to upset him if he, for instance, got carried away after a win and bear-hugged him as he usually did with his team, friends and family, though he knew these were irrational thoughts and that Jannik would not get upset over a simple hug. Sooner than later, he realized that everyone, including himself, had been quite wrong about the man's character.

While he did express his love in different ways, Jannik did express it physically as well. Evidently, Carlos was clingier than him, given that it was a known trait of his, but he always returned each hug or kiss eagerly. Hell, Jannik even started hugging him fully at the net after their grueling matches, letting go of those one-armed hugs Carlos despised with him. However, they would not go further than a hug in very public spaces, as Jannik had a hard line for public relationships, and Carlos both respected and understood that. Being the number one and two in the world in men's tennis meant openness about being queer was challenging, but maybe one day they would be able to shout their love from the rooftops without having to fear consequences. But, in the privacy of their own home, they could be as cuddly as they wanted.

In fact, an assigned side of the bed did not exist in their household, or in their hotels when they were on tour. The cluttered messes on their bedside tables with mixed items from both parties was the living proof of that truth. Each night, they would go to bed and instantly tangle up with each other. If someone asked Carlos what was his favorite part of the day, he would not hesitate before saying bedtime. Most would guess the choice was made from the fact he enjoys sleeping, which is true, but the real reason is because it is the only moment he gets guaranteed cuddles paired with the supreme-level embraces Jannik gives. He does not know how he manages to hold him in a way that makes him forget all problems and all worries of the passed day. He feels protected, cared for. Even when he is the one doing the holding, the same feelings flow through his veins and every bad thought is banished from his mind. Carlos guesses that is the effect love has on someone, loving someone so profoundly that their every move representing affection towards you seeps deep into your heart.

Kisses were fully banned from public spaces, for obvious reasons. They were avoided for a long time in semi-public places, also known as places where they could be caught by friends, family, colleagues or coaches, since they had wanted to keep their relationship a secret until they figured out how to tell others. The latter of those rules was discarded when, one morning during a tournament, the alarm had not rung and they had to rush to get ready, eventually going downstairs and getting caught for wearing the wrong clothes—Carlos wore a too long shirt, Jannik wore too neon shorts. Any other romantic action was classified public or private with one simple criteria: if the media could find a way to portray it as a friendly attitude, which was basically everything in this hetero-normative world, it was good to go.

Carlos used to think he would have trouble keeping a relationship confidential, that it would create some problems down the line in their relationship. It weirdly did not, presumably because they acted in public quite similarly to the way the acted in private, minus the undeniably romantic actions. Carlos's extroverted and highly tactile nature made it easier for them to convince the press they were "just friends"…as well as the narrative they planted during a press conference stating that they were "really good friends".

What made all the efforts worth it, was reminded to Carlos when Jannik came home from a particularly difficult day with sponsors and media and insisted on making dinner for him despite being tired and ignoring Carlos's protests—Carlos still managed to negotiate into pampering him after dinner. However, the cherry on top happened when, that night as they went to bed, Jannik whispered a few simple, overwhelming words into his shoulder, likely thinking he was already asleep.

"Sei la più bella cosa che mi sia mai capitata."

Cuánto lo amo, he thought, and fell asleep with a grin on his face.

——————🎾——————

A part of their daily routine consisted in watching movies, as often as they could. It reminded them of the old days, when they had not confessed yet. They would invite each other to their respective hotel rooms, before the start of the tournament or after the end of it, as to not get yelled at by their coaches, to play video games and to watch movies and series. Carlos had been stunned after finding out that Jannik had never seen The Office—also known in his mind as the greatest sitcom ever created. He also remembers word for word the shocked monologue Jannik had expressed over him not having seen Avatar, apparently it was "scandalous". Since then, they had seen almost the entirety of Netflix content, now steadily making their way through the Prime Video content as well. While Jannik sometimes did choose the movie, he did often let Carlos take control of the remote. Even if their favorite films were from radically different genres, Carlos was under the impression that Jannik liked all genres of movies, like him.

The previous night, they had been watching one of those romantic Christmas movies Carlos had found on Netflix. He loved the improbable but quite cute storyline of these films, in spite of their very diluted plot, perfect for just relaxing and not having to reflect on complex stories. Plus, the off-season was just the right time for it, with the cold weather and festive spirits in the air. He and Jannik were pressed up against each other under a warm blanket, finally calming down and actually watching the television after having had a contest of who could accurately throw the most popcorn into the other's mouth. A fit of giggles and a clean-up later, the bowl of popcorn sat on the coffee table while Jannik's fingers danced in the brown hair of the man whose eyes were concentrated on the screen in front of him. The movie had ended up being more deep than they had thought it to be, genuinely captivating him, but Carlos felt himself relax due to Jannik's touch all the same, the effect of the man's affection remaining instantaneous.

He had then gone on a ten-minute tirade on how a plot this good should not have been wasted on a one hour and a half movie, that they should have developed it more instead of putting it in a stupid Christmas movie, even if he did enjoy those as well. Carlos could have easily continued on this subject for another five minutes if he had not noticed how Jannik was looking at him. He had this dazed look on his face, smiling at him but looking as if he was not really listening, or as if the discussion was a bit pointless. Carlos stopped pacing to question the man sitting on the couch.

"¿Qué? Don't you agree with me?" Jannik laughed.

"Si, si, I do. You're just cute when you get caught up like this," Carlos immediately got red in the face. Who is this man and what did he do with his boyfriend? He always gets caught off guard when Jannik has these random moments of confidence, granting that he loves them.

"Whatever," he replied quickly, sitting back down. Jannik shot up even faster, grabbing his hand.

"No, no! I wanna hear your thoughts, please? I like listening to you."

And there it was. The heat he felt in his cheeks suddenly spread to his chest as well. Hesitantly, Carlos started back up again, but he quickly got fired up once more, and continued his monologue with his opinions as a serious film critic. He said he probably would have been a golf player in another life, if he did not become a tennis player, but a job in the cinema industry seemed nice too, no?

A few weeks later, the conversation Carlos was in with Ben and Jack had somehow shifted on the topic of cinema, and this specific movie popped back into his mind.

"You know, out of all the rom-com Christmas movies I watched with Jannik, we saw one where the plot was way to sophisticated for a short film like that! It was a waste, really. They should have made a good, longer movie with that idea," he explained.

"Wait, you like those Christmas movies too? We've got to set up something with you and Trinity, man. I can't watch another one of those movies, I feel like I'm going insane. Bet Jannik feels the same!" Ben told him. Before Carlos could have protested that Jannik was, and is, very happy to watch them with him, Jack interrupted with an eye-opening statement.

"That's for sure, Jannik hates those movies!"

Carlos froze, and that was answer enough for the two men beside him.

"Wait, you didn't know? He didn't tell you?" Jack asks, clearly amused.

"I thought you were down bad, but guess I underestimated Jannik," Ben couldn't help but add.

Apparently, it was a known fact that Jannik hated those Christmas movies, fully despised them, that he thought they were boring and unrealistic. Carlos felt his stomach drop further and further as the conversation progressed, and as Jack added details on this well-known fact about his boyfriend, feeling a tad bit guilty for not knowing. How had been with Jannik for almost a year and not know this fact on him?

"Why didn't he tell me?" Carlos asked, feeling frustrated with himself. Jack and Ben looked at each other with a knowing smile.

"Carlos, if he's willing to watch the movies he's always refused with us and that he's always complained about without batting an eye, it's because—"

"Because he loves you soooo much!" Ben sniggered. Carlos's face immediately flamed up. He started swatting at both Ben and Jack who seemed to love laughing at him, the conversation quickly shifting to another subject.

The conversation may have ended hours ago, but it certainly had not stopped replaying in Carlos's mind. It might seem as an overreaction for an action so simple, but considering everything Jannik already does for him, without question, adding another thing to the list seems like a lot. Truthfully, Carlos does not think he will ever be able to react normally to anything Jannik does regarding him, even the most elementary behavior, such as watching a movie he hates for his boyfriend. He overreacts, a lot. God knows how hard Carlos overreacted when Jannik told the world he thought about Carlos first thing in the morning after waking up. Juanki knows how dissipated he became when Jannik started practicing on the court next to his, before taking a slap to the back of the neck. His family, especially his brothers, knows how enthusiastic he became as soon as the subject of Jannik Sinner came up, among with how red in the face he became once he was called out for it.

Carlos loves Jannik.

He has loved him for a long time, although he realized it only now.

Even so, he will never be normal about Jannik doing something affectionate for him.

"Te amo, Jannik," he over-articulated the words, trying them out, feeling how they would sound rolling off of his tongue. As he was about to pronounce them once more, he heard the buzz of the hotel door opening.

"Carlos?" Jannik called out. He jumped up from his spot on the bed, making his way to the entrance where Jannik was putting down his duffel bag. Jannik released a muffled noise when he was suddenly pulled into an abrupt kiss by two hands on his cheeks, sequentially melting into it bringing his hands to his lower back. Carlos pulled back with a stern look on his face, opposing Jannik's amused surprise.

"A quale onore?"

"Why didn't you tell me you hated the Christmas movies I made you watch?" Carlos ignored his comment, going straight to the point, "You don't have to do things you don't like for me, especially when it's just a stupid movie," Jannik's eyes widened, a light grin appearing on his lips.

"Jack told you?" a nod gave him the answer, and a silence told him to continue, "I'm sure he exaggerated, amore, they're just not my favorite thing in the world, but—"

"Jannik."

"Really, I only dislike them—"

"Jannik."

"Alright, fine, I hate them. But, Carlos, I really don't mind watching them with you, especially when you get all excited talking about them. Like you said, it's just a movie, but you get so happy when we watch them. I already told you, I really like listening to you. You just…speak like you live, like you find something interesting in everything and get so invested in it. You manage to bring out the good even in the bad, in dumb movies and in life. That's what I like about you, that's why I like being with you, even if I have to watch those awful movies."

Carlos froze once more. How Jannik managed to turn a disagreement over a movie into a sentimental moment, Carlos thought, was a mystery.

Te quiero mucho, y espero que lo sepas.

Those are the words which rung in his head the whole evening, after having kissed Jannik into oblivion. He would soon confess these sentiments to the man provoking them, soon.

But, for now, live in the moment.

"Podríamos haber visto otra cosa…" Carlos whispered in the night. Jannik brought, with a gentle, his head back down to his chest.

"Carlos, sono le due di notte. Dormi."

And, with a kiss pressed to the knuckles, the command was executed.

——————🎾——————

2. Per sempre

The first time those words popped up in Jannik's mind, it had been the result of an action, quite a lovely one, that Carlos does frequently.

When Jannik got with Carlos, he evidently already knew of his tactile character, as the entire world did, except he had gone mad because of this trait. Every time Carlos would touch him, even slightly graze him, flutters would appear under his skin. They would spread all throughout his body, like butterflies being set free and being able to fly without restraint. Every greeting, every shake of hand, every hug at the net, every arm around his back to pose for a picture threatened to destroy his well-constructed composure, until they eventually did, one night after one of their many finals. Although, that night—the night of the confession—where their first kiss took place in that locker room, flutters had not made an appearance, being instead replaced by a full set of fireworks going off. Jannik, later on, could not help associating them to the fireworks they had seen following the first ever final they played against each other, another moment he held close to his heart, even if it was not as important as this night. Even if nothing would ever compare to this night, this moment shared with Carlos.

While he did enjoy hugs, hand-holding, or really any other physical way to show affection, Carlos especially liked to kiss him. Jannik figured that out fast.

He would grab his hands at random moments and press kisses to them, not missing one knuckle or phalange. On some occasions, he would wake him up with light pecks all over his face, covering the entire surface going from exterior to interior, before pressing one to his lips, his "good morning" kiss, as Carlos called it. Apparently, it was necessary to start the day. His neck was victim to ticklish, feather-light kisses which more often than not made him shiver, and which would also get brief half-hearted protests from him—"¡Pero es la altura perfecta!"—but these objections never lasted long. When Carlos felt generous, which was quite literally always, Jannik would be spared the ticklishness and be graced with cheek kisses, usually long smooches rather than quick presses of lips. When they laid down together, Jannik also received many pecks to the top of his head, or just anywhere on his hair in general, considering the fact that Carlos really adored his curls, as he had told Jannik many, many times.

And actual kisses on the lips? Jannik thinks he has never been kissed this much in a relationship in his whole life, he believes they may have hit some kind of record at this point. A theory he has came up with explains that it is because they cannot kiss in public and therefore have to make up for it. Combining all the kisses he's received from his previous girlfriends, Carlos surpasses that sum by far, without a single doubt. Not that he is complaining! He would not dare, considering that it would be disrespectful against the great kisser his boyfriend is. He would accept every display of affection with gratefulness. However, there was one thing he could not know on the Carlos Kisses™, Jannik could not confirm the "tongue on the first date" statement, knowing that they basically skipped every step in the rule book of dating.

Nevertheless, the revelation of the day was provoked by fate, if you believe in it, or pure absent mindedness, which is also known as an alarm not going off at the right hour.

Jannik woke up to sun rays illuminating his face and with a warm weight cradled against him. Dark brown hair brushed his bare skin, strong arms rested pliant against him and only soft breaths could be heard. The sleeping figure of his boyfriend was definetly a sight for sore eyes. Questa sì che è la vita, Jannik thought as he threaded his fingers through Carlos's hair, before another hand grabbed his, interlocking fingers. The half-awake man sat up, stretching and rubbing at his eyes. Jannik felt a pang in his chest, his heart feeling weirdly but not unfamiliarly lighter, at the very lovable view.

"Buen día, amor," Carlos proceeded to kiss him delicately. Jannik felt his cheeks faintly heat up at the nickname, he supposed he will never get used to Carlos and his pet names. The man flopped back down on the mattress, then crawled back to his previous position, cuddled up against him.

"Buongiorno,"

"¿Qué ora es?" Jannik felt around for his phone on the nightstand. Once having found it, he clicked twice on the screen for the hour to show up, lifting it up and squinting to see without his glasses.

"8:45," he replied. Carlos relaxed into him further, before startling him by jumping up suddenly. He grabbed his phone checking the time himself, which only seemed to aggravate his clearly panicked state.

"¡Mierda! Juanki told me to meet him downstairs at 8!" that statement alone was enough to wake Jannik up fully.

Now, that was a problem, a very serious one. It was as much a problem for Carlos, who was going to have to suffer the most ruthless practice session ever, as it was for Jannik, since this was going to be added to Juanki's Jannik-Sinner-is-a-distraction-and-I-hate-him list—even if Carlos had assured him multiple times that the list did not exist. They were fully synchronized trying to get Carlos ready as fast as possible. The man in question was focused on finding his practice clothes in their very messy room, which would definitely get them scolded by both of their mothers. Jannik was getting his practice bag ready with the essentials, having already been briefed on what to put inside after the last time this happened. They really have not learned their lesson on programming more than one alarm. The first clothes found slid on quickly, bags full of equipment zipped up and laces were deftly tied.

The buzz of the keycard opened the hotel room door, and Carlos was up and ready to start running down the corridor. But, randomly, he turned to face Jannik. Had they forgotten something?

That question disintegrated when Carlos placed his hands on his cheeks and pulled Jannik in for a kiss. Jannik had barely enough time to reciprocate the kiss before it was over. Carlos sported a cheeky grin on his face, probably because of the taken aback expression on the other's face.

"In case Juanki kills me, yeah?" he says, before pecking his cheek and running out the door. And, then, the increasingly familiar feeling came back. The explosions had started back up again in his chest, the flames lighting up his face made it match colors with his hair. A wooed grin appeared on his face without his consent, before he went to the bathroom to get himself ready as well. He headed over to the sink to wash his face.

Quello scemo mi ha dato un bacetto d'addio!

Quanto lo amo, però.

Jannik felt himself freeze at his own thoughts as the cold droplets slid down face. He glanced back at his own reflection.

"Oddio," he whispered to himself, "Sono innamorato di Carlos."

It was safe to say he had done a lot of thinking that day. It felt pretty dumb to be shaken over realizing you love someone, but when you took such a long time to even confess by fear of ruining your already beautiful friendship, everything feels different. Even his team had noticed how strange he was acting despite being concentrated as usual during practice, but Jannik brushed them off by saying he had not slept well. Those words he had said for other relationships, being in love, seemed to hold way more weight when said regarding Carlos. Love had never felt so overwhelming, more intense than a five-setter match, but also comforting at the same time, like skiing back home in Sesto. It was explosive, fiery, like how Carlos played on court with an energy no one could match. He figured that was a pretty logical comparison seeing as the person he was in love with was Carlos. It was also soothing in a way that made you feel giddy like a kid and your heart feel weird. Here was a pretty good explanation for the feeling of fireworks going off in him every time his boyfriend does something remotely affectionate towards him. Loving Carlos was easily the strongest and greatest sentiment he had ever felt.

Despite knowing all of this, Jannik could not help feeling somewhat disturbed, but not necessarily in a bad way. Not because he did not want to fall in love with Carlos, he just did not really know what to make of it. Was it too early to tell Carlos? Was he already too late? No, no, he would just tell Carlos when the right time would come, Jannik concluded. Admitting he had tried to fight his attraction to him at the beginning, mostly by fear of getting caught not to mention being rejected, it had been a completely useless affair. As soon as Jannik laid his eyes on the tanned boy with acne scars and a permanent smile stamped on his face, he was done for. The boy wafted through his thoughts, uninvited though not unwelcome, in the most random moments, successfully not only invading his mind, but also his heart. He would wait until the right moment came.

"Janni, ¿Estás bien?" Jannik came back to the world thanks to Carlos easing him back into it with a gentle hand on his arm. He had come to pick him up after his training session.

"Si, si. How was practice?" Carlos fired back up again.

"¡Dios mio! Juanki was brutal! He made me do these exercises…"

——————🎾——————

Compliments were a colossal part of Carlos's love language, or even just his personality in general. He was exceptionally good at making Jannik flustered with only a few well-placed words, not necessarily compliments, in private or, especially, in public. It genuinely seemed as if he liked seeing his face heat up in front of millions of people on live television. Complimenting his shots and calling his game play beautiful even if Jannik lost to him? Not a problem. Predicting Jannik would be his rival when he had not even won a major yet? Obviously he would do that. Confirming they do text each other? Easy. Smiling widely at him when he had just lost a grand slam to Jannik? It was almost habit at this point. Telling everyone that he saw him more than his entire family? Jannik could not even contain his smile at that one. If they existed, Carlos would win every compliment competition, gold medals at each one, there is no doubt about that one.

It looked as if saying sweet words came naturally to him, almost on instinct, as if they slipped out of his mouth before he could even think it over. No, actually, Jannik was sure that was the case. Carlos was just like that; he was a good, affectionate, very compassionate person, there were no other words for it. It was just in his nature, he was certain of it. Jannik frequently asked himself what he did to deserve such a sweet, handsome, incredible man and just hoped he showed his gratefulness and love accordingly. Plus, his brothers, especially Alvaro, would make sure to remind him if he did not, as they had threatened multiple times. Obviously, it had never happened, and there would never be a need to. He would not hurt the man he loved. Jannik knew he had been in love with Carlos for a long time, too oblivious to see it clearly, and he would continue to love him for a very long time.

Love.

What a weird word.

How did mankind manage to find a word for such a deep sentiment of adoration for another person? For a feeling that varied for everybody?

Those questions were way too philosophical to think about in the early morning. When Jannik woke up that day, he immediately saw Carlos watching him from the corner of his eye. The man appeared to be fully awake, sat crossed-legged facing him with the covers bunched up at his hips. He looked concentrated, mimicking the look on his face during a difficult high-stakes match. It was pretty funny, in his opinion, since there definitely was not anything much important to be concentrating on in their current situation. Jannik tried to sit up and was directly pushed back down by a rapid movement of Carlos's hand.

"¡No te muevas! I'm counting your freckles," Carlos scolded, earning a snort from the man being observed. Nonetheless, he obeyed orders and stayed immobile. Carlos's brows further furrowed until he sighed with fake frustration.

"I lost count, you ruined it," he jokingly complained, straddling his thighs to climb into his lap. Jannik finally was allowed to sit up.

"Mi dispiace. Why count my freckles anyway?"

"'Cause they're cute. I like them a lot. And they make cool patterns, like, these ones make a star," he said as he traced the marks in question with his finger.

"Ah, so you like me only for my freckles?" Jannik teased, trying to divert Carlos from the rising heat clearly appearing on his face. That was definitely the wrong choice given that the response he received made the warmth grow even more. But, Carlos would always have that effect on him, no matter what he had replied.

"No, I like you because you're the kindest, most considerate man I've ever met. I like you because you're genuinely nice to everyone, always respectful even to idiots who don't deserve it. I like you because you're strong, with a determination I can only dream to have. I feel that I can be myself, realmente yo mismo, only with you. I know you'll never judge me and that you'll always listen to me. Eres la única persona que me puede entender, realmente entender. That's what I like about you. And, the fact you're also very handsome is a plus, for sure."

Jannik blinked. He did not know what to reply to such an admission. "What motivated that?"

"I don't know. You needed to be reminded, I think, that you're my favorite person."

Carlos was looking at him with a cheeky grin, and he was just sitting there, frozen, thoughts having vanished from his mind. Although, inside, he felt everything but frozen. Bursts of energy and rockets seemed to have gone off in his chest once more, that known, now identified emotion coming back full force. He loved this infuriating, amazing man so much. There was only one response possible in this situation. His mind having gone fully offline, Jannik let his instincts guide him into crashing their mouths together, turning them around and dragging Carlos down onto the bedsheets. Two words, those same words, echoed in his head the whole time: ti amo.

Jannik felt a strange buzzing, restless energy the remainder of the day, which was definitely caused by that morning. However, it was absolutely not a bad thing, it actually helped during practice. Simone looked like he thought so, at least. His shots were clean, precise and overall quite good for his personal standards. His service game had remarkably improved, which would be very good for the tournaments and events coming up. The practice match with Flavio had equally gone well, the other man had confirmed it by jokingly insulted him at the end for having way too much energy and too little mercy, in his words. Nonetheless, he asked if he wanted to have lunch together with Matteo after training, which he agreed to, knowing that he could not eat with Carlos as usual since their practices had not lined up correctly today— a temporary measure, or punishment as Carlos had put it, put in place by Juanki for "impeding his concentration".

"Fra, ma se può sape' come fai ad ave' così tanta energia?" Flavio asked, stabbing his food with fork and leaning back into his chair.

"Boh, abitualmente non è così. Oggi mi sento meglio del solito," Jannik shrugged. He knew very well what the reason was, but giving ammunition to Flavio and Matteo was never a good idea.

"Ma Carlos do'è? Non pranzi con lui di solito?" Matteo added, knowing the subject was fair game seeing the secluded place they were in. Jannik then knew they would get material to tease him in any case.

"Ha l'allenamento adesso. Juan Carlos l'ha spostato perché lo 'distraggo'," Flavio and Matteo both looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting out laughing like idiots.

"Quello è così perso per te!" Flavio barked out and Jannik's face flamed up. How many times would he blush today? A new record would be broken apparently.

"Che, non sei innamorato di lui?" Matteo asked jokingly, seeing his face.

"Ma certo che lo sono! È che, non so se—se lui…" Matteo and Flavio both looked at him, with wide eyes, as if he was insane, stopping their laughter for a moment before starting back up again. God, he would never live this down.

"Scherzi, spero? Carlos ha letteralmente solo occhi per te!" Flavio nodded along to Matteo's words, smirking. They were both clearly amused.

Those words strangely provided some comfort to him, even if they had fed the fire on his face more wood. He had then managed to switch the subject to something else, which also helped to keep a tiny bit of his dignity. He did not know why actually saying those two words was so difficult. Two simple words could bring him to a bumbling, stuttering mess. But, those words held more meaning than any other word he knew. He knew they would come out on their own, before he even knew it they would break through, and if Carlos was not ready to say them back, Jannik would wait for him without question. He would always wait for him, for the love of his life.

That evening, Carlos came back from practice late and frustrated. His backhand was off, he had told him, and they stayed a bit more to try and fix it, but it had not worked. Jannik had given him the words of encouragement which had been repeated to him whenever this happened to him, some said by Carlos himself, and told him it would get better tomorrow. He was sure it would with Carlos's determination, certain of it. It looked like it had worked since Carlos's frown lessened, and after a discussion on how the problem could be fixed, a plan to put in place tomorrow, it disappeared completely, which made him feel relieved for him. They then fell asleep on the too-small couch, exhausted by the day, only waking up a few hours later, just in time for dinner.

"Carlos?" he only received a grunt in response from the dead weight hugged to his front, "Che vuoi da cena? I'll order room service."

Carlos rubbed his eyes before opening, blinking twice at him, and subsequently started to giggle at him. Jannik raised an eyebrow, but not being able to avoid grin forming at the charming view of his boyfriend. Carlos pointed at his hair, to which Jannik turned and saw in the mirror the messed up curls pointing in all directions on his head. Before he could try to fix them, Carlos pulled him back to face him and fixed them back to their normal appearance with gentle fingers and care. Jannie felt oddly doted on in that moment.

"Grazie,"

"De nada, amor. Now, what can we eat for dinner?"

——————🎾——————

Jannik and Carlos were rather attached at the hip, at least that is what most of the people on tour liked to say. It was true, to be fair. They had always gravitated towards each other, but now it was more that ever. In the earlier days, it was mostly Carlos who would, whenever he saw him at, for instance, an event, run over to him all happy and smiley like an overexcited puppy. You could probably see a tail wagging if you squinted hard enough. Nowadays, Jannik equally went over to him during events where they could not already secretly arrive together. In other places, where people would not start asking questions if they remained together the whole time, they would not hesitate in doing so. Their friends like to make fun of them for being codependent, as they say. And, guess what? They will just have to deal with it, or they can try and pull them apart just to ultimately fail.

People tended to think Carlos was more glued to Jannik than he was to him. Jannik wholeheartedly disagreed. While Carlos might show his attachment more visibly than him, Jannik fully sensed the connection emotionally. It was as if, at some point, they had been melded together. He could not speak for Carlos himself, but for him, every emotion seemed to have been intensified and duplicated. When Carlos was upset, he was upset. When Carlos was happy, he felt happy. When Carlos was excited, he would be as well. When he was frustrated, Jannik would feel the same frustration with him. It was as much a blessing as a curse, since it made his usual objectivity and stoicism almost impossible. He guessed it was a part of being in love, but it felt like more. If he believed in soulmates, Carlos would definitely be his, without a single doubt.

One time, early in their relationship, late in the night, apparently the moment both of them seemed to get loose-tongued around each other, Carlos had whispered to him:

"Sometimes, I feel like, in a room full of people, I only see you. Everything and everyone blurs except you. And something just pulls me towards you, like an invisible string, until I actually walk towards you. I don't know, I might be crazy."

Jannik had not known what to say for a few seconds, before opting to whisper back the simple but real truth:

"You're not crazy. I feel the same."

This fact that they were always together resulted in everyone who knew about them asking Jannik at every outing where Carlos was, when he was not with him. It was not annoying, honestly, but it was beginning to get repetitive, he had to admit. This time around, they were invited to a get-together between a few friends, basically everyone who was in the same city, organized by Ben. They had been told it would be more like a "high school party with alcohol". Oh well, it was still the off-season, why not. Their coaches would likely make them suffer next practice but that is not a very special event, especially in this period of time where they forgot alarms way too often.

Except, Carlos was running late from being stuck in traffic after a too-late lunch with his older brother, he had already received an apology message with too many emojis for leaving him alone in a social setting. This was Carlos's domain, not his. So, Jannik was currently assisting a conversation with Jasmine and Iga on the awful slowed-down courts while waiting for said man's arrival, having been asked the question from basically everyone in the room. He glanced to the door an uncountable number of times, his social battery was holding on for dear life and only thanks to the alcohol. Jannik really wondered how Carlos could spark up conversation so easily. Maybe that is why they were so good together, because their differences made them complementary rather than dissimilar. Jannik stopped this train of thought before he spiraled once again. Finally, he saw a familiar figure making his way toward him.

"Hi Jas, Iga. Perdón, Janni," Carlos rose up slightly to kiss him on the cheek, "What did I miss?"

Iga and Jasmine eagerly continued their previous conversation with a new very active participant. Carlos nodded along and engaged energetically, as if he had been there the entire time. Jannik was content in intervening every now and then with a comment or opinion, and otherwise just listening to the debate with an arm around Carlos's lower back. At some point, Holger and Casper came over to coax them all into a game of truth or dare, to "revive the teenager in them", as they had said. Carlos had looked at him with a Cheshire smile planted on his face and Jannik knew there was no getting out of this. And, that was how they ended up sitting on a hardwood floor along with a bunch of other professional tennis players. He guessed this season had really messed with everyone's head.

In the end, the game had turned out to be quite fun. Jannik had not played it much as a teenager, so doing it now kind of felt like checking off something he never actually had on his bucket list. It had started off pretty tame, with easy truths and dares that were not that embarrassing or undoable, like tell a secret of your choice, the biggest lie you have ever told, eat a spoonful of mustard, do fifteen pushups and other things similar to those. However, as the game progressed, the demands progressed as well—"It wouldn't be fun if they didn't!" Although, they still remained moderately embarrassing and appropriate to preserve their some of their dignity. So, Ben ended up running 10 laps around the balcony shirtless, in a freezing winter night. Iga had to sing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on the karaoke machine, which was not a great experience since she was not drunk enough to forget the whole affair. Coco improvised a choreography without music in the middle of the circle, and, she too was not drunk enough for the dare. Jack told the detailed story of how he embarrassed himself in front of his crush in the eight grade by face-planting into the mud, a mortifying moment. Carlos, at one point, had to do 6 shots in a row, much to Jannik's displeasure. Jannik, instead, was forced to tell the story of how his brother found out about them by catching they in a very compromising position, which he argued was a dare for two people rather than only him—he received many boos for that one.

Nevertheless, many rounds later, Jannik realized it was time to go back to their hotel when he had been pulled into broom closet by a very drunk Carlos who wanted to make out. Apparently, according to different people in the room, Carlos had been sneaking shots while Jannik had his back turned. Though it was painful to deny a makeout offer from his boyfriend, he knew Carlos would have an even harder time with the hangover if they did not leave now. Therefore, they said their goodbyes and thanked everyone for the good time spent, before hailing a cab back to the hotel.

"¿Ya llegamos?" Jannik pressed the buttons on the elevator to their floor also supporting Carlos's dead weight against him.

"Si, tesoro, quasi."

When the doors opened, they headed down the corridor with slow steps to avoid falling, which Carlos was not very worried about given the giggles Jannik heard every time he stumbled. Next time, he would keep a closer eye on him, that's for sure. He buzzed the keycard and sat Carlos down on the bed to grab fresh clothes to sleep in, for the both of them. When he turned around, he could not help but snort at the sight of Carlos having laid down like a starfish on the bed. At least he had the decency to take off his shoes.

"Dai, spogliati et metti questi. Dopo dormi," he threw the clothes on the man's lap, starting to get undressed himself. Carlos, empowered by the effects of alcohol, wolf-whistled at him.

"Take me out on a date first," Jannik could not believe he was actually laughing at those dumb jokes. He just blamed it on the alcohol, not reflecting further on the stupid pang in his heart, spreading warmth throughout the area. Carlos, after a while and a few cushions thrown, had finally gotten dressed and was under the covers. Jannik went to wash his face when a protest was heard from behind him.

"Janni, ¿no vienes a la cama? No puedo dormir sin ti. Ven, porfa," Carlos had his arms wide open and was doing his best puppy eyes, which he knew were dirty tactics. Jannik just gave up and gave in to both tiredness and love. He slid under the covers with his boyfriend, who was wearing a satisfied smile, gave him a good night's kiss and hugged him closer.

Ti amo più di qualsiasi cosa al mondo, e oltre.

The next day, Carlos woke up complaining strongly about a headache, to which Jannik sleepily replied that he had told him so. He then got fully woken up by being hit by a pillow.

——————🎾——————

3. Y ahora lo sai

The week had been tough. Though the heat of a summer from an unfamiliar hemisphere had not gotten to them, all the athletes had started the year ready to bite. Every tennis player was feeling the energy gained back during the off season. Nevertheless, in the end, the world still obtained the Sincaraz final they wanted. The explosive, clashing, unpredictable match everyone was waiting for since the end of the year. Everyone also included Carlos and Jannik themselves. Playing against each other was their favorite activity in the world, even if there had to be a loser at the end of it. "He makes me a better player", as Carlos had said, and Jannik particularly agreed with that statement. They both brought out the maximum of each other, fighting their limits to win the match, creating that undefinable energy everyone could feel. And, the two players had done it again. After a five-hour match, five sets with tiebreaks that had everybody on the edge of their seats, the crowd's screams continued to ring in their ears, hours later.

The trophy ceremony had been the same as always, with Jannik having trouble handling Carlos's numerous compliments with composure and Carlos smiling as brightly as ever while ogling at Jannik. The speeches were done, pictures had been shot, fans had had their merch signed and off they went to the locker rooms. There, as soon as the door had been shut, Jannik was caught off guard by being jumped on by an overexcited Carlos. He always thought Jannik even more alluring after a match, above all when he himself was on the other side of the net. He quickly brought his head down to his without meeting resistance, the other melting into the kiss. The exhilarating feeling they knew well and felt while they played today came back all out, this time not because of adrenaline, but because of another person. Love, as they had qualified it. Mouths crashed together, bodies bumping against lockers while remaining attached as they made their way through the room. Jannik responded eagerly, his movements controlled by habit and muscle memory. He wondered how this lovely, lovely man could have this much energy after playing for multiple hours. Oh, well, the mysteries of life. Enjoy now and reflect later. Or never.

The media duties were long, especially after a final of this caliber. The journalists took their time asking the usual questions, specific questions or those unusual questions they never knew what to reply to, the ones where their media training could not do anything for them. Carlos had told him, when he finally got released from the claws of the microphones and saw him waiting for him, that at least it was not as long as Wimbledon—thank God. They went back to their room to change in more formal attire for the dinner with their respective teams. Louis Vuitton had finally had the decency to gift Carlos a good suit, which Jannik had to basically put on him given that his boyfriend was too concentrated on him—"¡No es mi culpa que seas tan guapo!"—because the man was simply insatiable. Ravenous, really. Carlos tried every tactic in the book, but Jannik held on strong, fighting also against himself because Carlos in a well-tailored suit was a sight that made his heart beat faster. Jannik had to swat away the man's wandering hands multiple times getting whines and protests in response, apparently Carlos had the same idea of him. Getting a knock on the door from his brother, though, seemed to have calmed him down significantly.

They managed not to be late to the dinner. Of course, on complete accident, both teams had booked tables at the exact same restaurant. The two tables were coincidentally right next to one another. Although, Instagram did not need to know about that part, which is why the room they were in was secluded. They had just randomly run into each other, that is why they were in the other's photo dump, obviously. Carlos, Jannik and their teams ate dinner and celebrated, no matter the loss or win, for the last night in the country before flying to another continent. Jannik was monitoring Carlos's alcohol intake, after the last incident. The man was, thankfully, more concerned on the fact that their coaches were discussing passionately, which meant they were planning something, por supuesto. He then proceeded by getting offended when his boyfriend inevitably laughed at his theory. Carlos had forgiven Jannik after a few discreet kisses, hidden from the others' gazes, but had forced him to dance with him as reparations. The night had gone quite well, it could not be described another way.

At the beginning of their friendship, they had trouble disassociating tennis and their personal life, but they soon found out there was no separation possible. Tennis was their life, their true love, the proof lying in getting together with their biggest rival. They had ups and downs, moments where they would speak every day and others where no contact went on for months. Those periods were the worst since they both were already aware their feelings and were hiding them accordingly. Being in love with the man who competed for the same things as you at the same level was difficult, to say the least. However, a lot of yelling on the subject of distance, a heartfelt conversation and a second kiss in the dark later, they had managed to figure it out. The best things in life always came from challenging situations, like their love unveiling itself after weeks of waiting for the other to text. It was impossible to prevent feeling bad about losing; sometimes, it was only disappointment, and others, it was much more than that. The important part was being honest about their needs, they knew that now. If space, comfort or anything else was necessary, the other would comply. Carlos and Jannik knew they were more important to one another than whatever happened on court, that was all that mattered.

They were back at the hotel, walking back to their room. Well, the room out of the two they booked they decided to share during the tournament. The champagne had made them tipsy, content grins adorning their faces, unbothered by the fact they were in a very much public place and were looking at each other in ways two rivals should definitely not. Even if Jannik had really tried to limit the refills of the glasses, they had both been pretty indulgent. One to celebrate the win, the other to buffer out the disappointment. While it had been an important final, they were proud of how they played and an elevated feeling of disappointment had not made an appearance. Instead, the blooming sentiment of warm fondness had taken place in both of their hearts, making everything else seem insignificant. Now, it was time to recuperate by going to bed and getting a good night's sleep. Their bags were already almost packed for tomorrow's flight, so they could just rest this night. That was what Jannik had in mind, before Carlos convinced him to take a bath in the oversized jacuzzi they called a bathtub.

Carlos had had innocent intentions, for once, but Jannik was adamant in doubting him. He had managed to get him in the bath, but the man was acting difficult and refusing to get in arms-reach of him, sporting a teasing smile on his face. They were equally too exhausted for Carlos to jump Jannik once again, and Jannik definitely knew that, he just wanted to treat him to a nice time—"Lo prometti?"—so sue him for being a good boyfriend. He wanted to show him his love, make him feel his affection. Carlos knew the man's buttons, so directly after moving forward quickly, promising to behave and forcefully telling him to relax, Jannik dropped the act and leaned against him. He finally slid his fingers through the wet strands, getting to work.

"How would you be able to keep this hair without me?" Carlos joked, only earning a light laugh as a response. His heart skipped a beat at the sound.

It was true, to be honest. He was the one who had gotten rid of that awful 2 in 1 monstrosity. Continuing his ministrations, his fingers massaged the shampoo into his roots and used the conditioner to "soften and define" the red curls, clumsily using the twirling motion Emma had taught him. Qué hermoso es, Carlos thought, seeing the peaceful look on Jannik's face. The constant feeling of affection he felt in his chest kept intensifying and spreading, it was surely reflected on his face, but Jannik had his eyes closed, thankfully. At some point, when Carlos was finished washing him with gentle caresses, Jannik slowly resurfaced from the state of full-relaxation, blinking twice as his eyes readjusted to the bright light of the bathroom. He felt oddly proud of having made Jannik loosen up in this particular way.

"Want me to wash you?" he asked, Carlos nodded, and they switched positions with him pressed to Jannik's front.

It was Carlos's time to slump against him. Jannik wanted to take care of him as he had done for him. He mimicked the pattern he had sensed on himself into the short black strands while washing his hair, which had already grown back after his recent buzzcut. His soaped-up hands slid delicately over the tan skin, until they stopped at the tense muscles on his shoulders. Jannik slid his hands back and forth on the area, glancing at the tranquil expression on Carlos's face, before pressing down methodically.

"Qué bueno…" he sighed, leaning back into the touch. Jannik grinned further at the reaction. How was this man good at everything? Carlos would never know the answer. Jannik continued kneading, checking his expression to make sure he was doing his job correctly. He moved down his arms up until his hands, to which at some point, probably to signify stop, Carlos interlaced his fingers with his. È così bello, he thought, similarly to Carlos only moments before, when the man laid back on his shoulder. Jannik just relaxed with him, squeezing his hand momentarily, the love he felt being less of an explosion and more of a cozy crackling fireplace at the end of a winter's day. On the other hand, Carlos was comparing the emotion to the end of a beach day, still warm but a different loved place. Carlos turned his head to get comfortable, Jannik dropped a kiss to his temple and then the two words came out.

"Te amo."

It happened just like that. Randomly. No warning whatsoever.

Carlos had not seen it coming. He was thinking them and then, bam, they were out of his mouth. Like he had no control over them. He had not even realized he had said them until a moment after.

Jannik froze up on the spot, which is how Carlos realized what he had done. It was like he had been drenched with a bucket of cold water. Carlos rose up instantly and grabbed his hands. How the hell did this happen? His mind was going three hundred kilometers an hour.

"Janni, perdón, se me salió solo. You don't have to say it back, if you're not ready, or if you don't want to. Lo siento, de verdad. No sé por qué—"

"Lo pensi veramente?"

.

.

.

Carlos blinked, stunned. "¿Qué?"

"Did you mean it?" Jannik repeated.

Their hands were still intertwined in the water. Only their breaths could be heard. Their locked gazes held so many different emotions behind them. He had two options here. It was an easy choice, he thought so anyway. With honesty and truth, Carlos made the last jump.

"Sí."

Time seemed to have stopped, at least it did for Carlos.

He was confident his hands were shaking.

Did Jannik need more time? He would give it to him, no problem.

Did he just not feel the same way?

Carlos did not know what he would do in that situation. Had not thought about it, preferred not to.

His chest felt as if it was about to explode, his heart a ticking time bomb. Would Jannik just say something already?

It took a second—multiple, actually—before Jannik broke out in a wide smile. Those beautiful bunny teeth visible once again. Fireworks had gone off for the both of them, the love they felt becoming all-consuming. A feeling so fulfilling that nothing would ever match. The man pressed rapid-fire kisses to Carlos's mouth before he could actually comprehend what was going on. The last one, he stayed there longer, and Carlos finally reciprocated and held him closer to him. He tilted his head to get a better angle. Their mouths moved together in harmony, their arms cradling one another tightly. They pulled away to then come back for two other quick kisses. Jannik pressed his forehead to his, a hand on his cheek.

"Anch'io ti amo, scemo."

——————🎾——————

"Ma, pensavi davvero che non ti amassi?" Jannik asked, a cheeky look on his face. He had been teasing ever since they got out of the bath. Carlos pulled away from his embrace to roll his eyes at him and look at him funny, to which he earned an unnecessary laugh. The laughter only intensified when Jannik got hit in the face with a pillow. Carlos looked at him like an upset child, with his arms crossed, a pout and everything. He moved away from him and settled on the other side of the bed.

"No more hugs then," Jannik had already been warned.

"No, dai, that's unfair, Carlos," Jannik with this pleading look on his face was a very amusing view, especially when it was caused by something minimal, "Perdonami. I'll stop, promise."

He always folded quickly, the both of them, really. Carlos simulated a thinking face, dragging it out a little longer than necessary, before opening his arms. Jannik dropped down instantly, getting comfortable and hugging him tight, probably his form of an apology. He shut off the light on the bedside table. Then, Carlos heard Jannik whisper into the night those two famous words that had had them going crazy the past weeks.

"Ti amo."

"Yo también te amo."