Chapter Text
It had been 3 am at least, if not even later, when her phone lit up. A text in the middle of the night. Not unusual these days, with her buisness growing and employees working overrtime, but Karlie had explicity instructed Janie not to contact her in her week off. Her head pounded with a headache, hence why she was still awake. She wasn't going to fall asleep anyway, not if the last two hours of trying meant anything, so she rolled over to reach her phone from her nightstand and sqeezed her eyes shut from the bright light. When her vision adjusted, her breath hitched. It hadn't been Janie, asking for a emrgency meeting and also not late night vent from Gigi. There was no contact name, but a number. However long it had been since deleting that number, Karlie could still recite it in her sleep. Too many years of calling from friends phones, losing her own and having to stand in a phone booth and calling when it the person on the other side was everything she needed. Too many years off dialing that number in the middle of the night, only coming to senses when it went straight to voicemail.
"How did you like the Show?"
She stared at the text for a long time, so long, that her phone turned off and she immediatly unlocked it again, having to see if it was just a seep depraved hallucination. No. It was still there. The message above that from herself, almost 3 years ago.
"Please don't contact me again"
In a warm summers night of too much wine, not wanting to think about what ifs and alternate universes, Taylor had reached out. It had hurt so much that Karlie had had trouble breathing. Texting her after more than a year of radio silence, daring to suggest a meet up. It had been straight up vicious of her, to expect her to... just run back to her after all that has happened. So Karlie had done the only right thing, even when it made her want to jump off that stupid balcony. Now Taylor had done it again. She should have seen that coming, she had, but just ignored that voice in her head, sceaming at her for attending that concert. Of course her action had repercussions, even if everyone in the whole country is going to that damn tour. For once in the last years, she wanted to let go, have fun, even if that was Taylor on the stage. It wasn't a big deal, it shouldn't have been. SHE wasn't the one that made it difficult, it had been the performer, glancing up at her section more than a dozen times, enough to make it obvious, even someone who stubbornly ignored every sign. Karlie had left early, just after the suprise songs. New Romantics and New Years Day just had been too much.
The traffic had been terrible, even when leaving earlier, her headache had only gotten worse since then and now this. What was she even going to answer to that? I got so overwhelmed that I had to go home early? Should she even answer at all? Maybe, just maybe, this could be a good thing. Not reconnecting, just... letting go of what had been between them. So, *just for closure*, Karlie turned on her phone again, started typing.
'It was fine' No, deleting. It had been amazing and she couldn't lie about that. 'You were so good' No, even worse, deleting. If Taylor read that the wrong way, that could end in an embarrassing situation. 'It was amazing, like always' Not quite, but better. After erasing the last half of the sentence, she pressed 'send' before giving herself a chance to backtrack again.
"It was amazing"
Deep breaths, flinging her phone away, she put her head in her hands, like she always did when things got sideways. Except nothing had gone wrong. Yet. Karlie managed to even her breathing just before a quiet ding echoed across the room. She had barely managed the first message, how was she going to survive more? Despite her anxcious self, she picked up her phone with shakey hands, managed to unlock it and click on the notification.
"I'm glad u liked it. Could have come to me for tickets, yk?"
Okay, that was an easy one. She actually had a truthful answer for that. But even if Derek hadn't gotten tickets back in December, she doubted that she would have had contacted Taylor or her team. Maybe they would have ignored her and saying this was just a courtesy.
"My friend already bought tickets before asking me to come with him"
Good answer, safe answer. She could see the little texting icon while Taylor wrote, then deleted and wrote again.
"Could you even see much from up there?"
"I could see you staring at me" Bad answer, risky answer, but she sent it still. Oh god, this was going to end bad.
"Could you even see anything from up there?"
"I could see you staring at me"
Bad answer, risky answer, but she sent it still. Oh god, this was going to end bad. Her text was being left on read for a few moments and Karlie almost thought she's not getting a reply before Taylor texted back.
"I know, my neck hurts like hell now"
Karlie sighed out, relieved. Akward tension avoided, but it make her think,: Shouldn't Taylor be asleep after three hours of performing? Even if it had been the last show of the weekend, staying up so late couldn't possibly be healthy.
"I'm sure sleeping would help" A reply shot back, just like back then when their quick banter had Karlie be on her phone all day.
"Don't act all responsible, you're up too"
"I didn't run around dancing and singing all night"
"You also don't have that post-show adrenaline in your body"
Karlie caught herself smiling and immeadiatly shook it off her face. Even if she was over Taylor, the familiarity they had and how easy it had come back hurt. Another text from Taylor when Karlie had taken too long to respond.
"For how long are you staying in LA?"
"Just another day, flight's tomorrow afternoon. Can't leave my Boys for too long."
Shit. She didn't mean to mention them. It was supposed to be a little comedic relief, a mom joke, like she did with all her friends nowadays. But Taylor wasn't her friend, not anymore, not ever, to be honest. From the start, there hadn't been anything platonic about them, not for Karlie. To lighten the tension, she had mentioned the one cruel reminder of the distance between them, the endless sky that had been between them since Taylor had stormed out that day. No Reply from Taylor, not then and not not now.
Karlie almost turned off her phone before there was a reply.
"I'm in NYC for the next few weeks. We could meet up." Then, a follow up, like Taylor had sent the previous text a bit too soon to finish her own thought. "For coffee, at mine?"
Breathless. Speechless. What the fuck. Just like that? After all they had been through, the fighting, the breakup, the break of contact, they were going to see each other again? *Not if you say no*, a bitter voice in her head said, *not if you acually think this through*. This was a bad idea, probably. Never, ever, had a meeting between the two not ended in either tears streaming down her face or the most cheesy in-love grin on her mouth. It just was like that with Taylor, no mediocrity, no normal. It was always everything or nothing and that had been their biggest strength as well as, later on, their biggest weakness. The fact that there would never be normal between them or them and the world. They would either be kept like a dirty secret or open for the whole world to see, to judge, to ruin. But, on the other hand, now this wouldn't be like that. They weren't a couple anymore, not anything, so technically they had nothing to lose, only to gain. Countless nights of crying in an empty bed and endless days of cursing at newspaper articles were yelling conflicting things at her. It wasn't like they would see eachother again after that. One last meeting, for closure.
"Does Thursday work for you?"
Karlie didn't remeber typing the answer out, didn't even know if she was free that day and threw her phone across the hotel bedroom. Breathing heavily, she turned over, draping the blanket over her shivering body. She didn't dare to look if and what Taylor replied when her phone chimed again. Part of her hoped that Taylor would decline, would say, that they couldn't meet up afterall, and that Karlie could live the rest of her life knowing that she had been mature enough to try at least.
"Works perfectly, see u soon"