Work Text:
"So.... What's your favourite colour?"
It's one of the first things Riley asks Maya, as a six year old striving to make casual conversation with the girl who just climbed through her bedroom window. Riley decided that they're best friends, so it's something she is adamant on learning and she swings her legs off the edge of the bay window as she waits for Maya's answer.
"Um... I dunno, never really thought about it." Maya replies, watching Riley for a reaction.
Riley is completely outraged.
"Are you kidding?!" Riley springs to life, not noticing Maya's slight subconscious flinch. Stepping off the raised area of the bay window, she paces. "I think all of the colours are beautiful and I want to marry them." Riley declares, and Maya nods. Riley whispers towards Maya now, as if all the colours in the vibrant bedroom are listening. "Don't tell the others, but purple is my favourite." Riley grins, and her comment earns a chuckle from Maya.
Riley resumes her seat next to Maya and rests her hand in the other girls, a form of contact that Maya isn't familiar with. Riley's hand is warm and soft, and Maya believes that may be the best description of Riley's comfortable allure that her mind could ever find. Maya thinks she could sit in this bay window forever, talking to Riley, holding her hand, being with her best friend.
"I've never had a best friend before." Maya admits, still looking around the huge room, admiring and envying all the stuff she always wanted but could never afford to get.
"Me either." Riley replies with a smile. Maya takes her time looking over Riley's face, with no inhibitions, taking in every detail, and finds that Riley is the prettiest person she's ever seen. Maybe the pink of Riley's lips will be her favourite colour. Or the rich brown of her eyes.
"Hey, riles?" Maya says, not breaking eye contact, as if she needed to ask for Riley's attention. Riley simply blinks, waiting for her to continue. "Whats your family like?" Maya wants to know everything about Riley and her life, and escape from the thoughts about her own that crowd her mind.
"Well, I have a mommy, a daddy and a little brother, but he's really tiny right now." She says, counting the family members on her hands, and Maya eats it up. "I have some family out of town too, and Uncle Shawn. He's not really my uncle but he's just as cool as one." She adds.
"What about your family? Do you have any sisters? I've always wanted a sister." Maya looks at her lap, embarrassed and a little upset, although she's becoming much better at hiding it, for her mothers sake.
"No, it's just me and my mom and dad. But sometimes they argue and shout and dad leaves for a couple days." Riley feels awful for asking, nodding her head in understanding and shifting impossibly closer to hug Maya, one arm across her chest and the other across her back, her hands meeting on Maya's opposite shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Maya." She says solemnly. Maya nods and holds onto the arm that goes across her chest. In Riley's arms, she sighs heavily and hugs tighter, trying to ignore the hurt and sadness inside of her. Maya relaxes and rests her head on Riley's shoulder, and feels better for the first time in a while. "Hey!" Riley exclaims, pulling away and holding Maya at arms length. "We can be sisters! I always wanted one and you're perfect!" Maya feels her heart lift even further. She sniffs and grins so hard her cheeks hurt.
"Whatever you want."' She smirks.
The crimson of blood is crawling it's way down a ten year old Riley's head and all Maya can think about is how bad she's gonna hurt whoever did this to her.
"Maya, what's going on?" Riley asks slowly, squinting her eyes up at the blonde, who seems to be backed by an endless sky. "Wha-why are you floating in the air?" She asks again, confused and disoriented.
"Riles, don't move I'm gonna go get Mr. Higgins." Maya tells Riley, and runs as fast as possible to reach their gym teacher. Within moments, they both come jogging back to Riley, who has succeeded in not moving at all. Looking back, Maya thinks the dork might have not even breathed.
"Ooookay, just a little scrape there on your head, no need to worry." Mr Higgins sits her upright, squats to eye level and looks at her cut closely. "Maya, I'm sure you're capable of escorting Riley to the nurses office?" Maya looks around the rest of the class, seeking out a telling or guilty face to remember to chase up later. Of course it's Lewis. His eyes tell her all she needs to know. That jerk thinks that hurting Riley is gonna make her like him. What a tool. She nods, redirecting her attention to Mr Higgins and Riley, whose hand she doesn't remember grabbing but now realises she has been squeezing since she sat up. Maya pulls Riley up slowly, being gentle, with her arms wrapped around Riley's ribs.
They make it to the nurses office in silence, Maya fuming at Lewis whilst Riley is concentrating on not falling over, with one arm over Maya's shoulders. When the nurse asks what happened as she dabs a wet cloth on Riley's face, Maya sighs heavily.
"Oh I was just being clumsy." Riley says, knowing the nurse will take it as the truth. She falls over enough for it to be believable. Her mother and Nurse Carter even exchange tips on treating different wounds and removing stains.
"That's not true!" Maya insists.
"Maya don't say anything, leave it. It doesn't bother me," she lies, "so don't let it bother you." Maya nods to please Riley and it works. What also works is when she gives Lewis a bruise the size of a tennis ball on his shin and explicitly tells him to 'lay the hell off my girl.'
Maya thinks red is the worst colour because it reminds her of hurt and pain and all the things she wants to avoid, and wants to keep at bay for Riley.
By fourteen, Maya thinks she might be sick of the colour purple, or brown, or pink. They've grown too familiar since she met Riley, much alike the aches of longing they bring with them. The pink of her lips is a sharp spear through her heart, the soft brown of her hair arises the want to run her hands through it, thoughts she shouldn't be having but can't help, like an itch she can't scratch.
And Maya knows it's pretty pathetic. It drives her wild, thinking about Riley the way she should be thinking about boys; the way Riley thinks about boys. Specifically, Lucas.
After going through the motions one too many times one day, sitting at the bay window watching Riley study on her bed in the five o'clock golden sunlight, trying to draw anything but the girl she adores, she decides something needs to change. This isn't healthy for her.
"Hey Riles, I gotta go." She says, turning and slipping out of the window, and she's gone before Riley can turn to protest. Riley tries to keep studying throughout the rest of the evening but she cant help but wonder why Maya left so strangely, and shoots her a text after a few hours:
hey u okay?? u can come back round and sleep tonight if u want? xx
And of course Maya does, because this is how she lives now; driving herself to self destruction over her best friend who she shouldn't love like this, and then running right back at the drop of a hat. It's hopeless and it's sad and Maya knows it shouldn't be like this but it is, and there's nothing she can do to stop it.
And when Riley falls asleep next to her that night, after whispering to Maya about Lucas and how she might be in with a chance now that Sophie's taken interest in Yogi, (clearly moving on to better things after her relationship with the Texan), Maya watches Riley, just inches away, and thinks some more.
Most of her time away from Riley she spends thinking, when she's not trying to improve upon her studies, and most of these thoughts surround Riley. Maya takes in the soft curves of Riley's face, her tan skin, long lashes and almost permanent little smile, indicating only a slither of her dimples, and she knows for sure that she is too deep. There's no way to dig herself out of it. So she stops trying.
Maya begins openly watching Riley whenever she pleases, which is a lot of the time, grabbing at her hands freely, staying around Riley's house more often. Riley, of course, doesn't notice a thing, and simply greets every extra glance or touch or stay with a warm smile and soft eyes.
Katy notices though. Who wouldn't when your daughter is barely around anymore. But she allows it because she knows exactly where Maya will be, and she knows that she is safe and happy and that's all she could wish for for her little girl. And she knows that all she does for her girl is appreciated, because Maya is expressing her gratitude a lot more. Katy puts her daughter's change in attitude down to puberty and other teen stuff, but mostly to Riley. After all, she's not blind. She knows the impact Riley has on Maya, and she can see very clearly how Maya lights up when she's around Riley, her eyes bursting with bright, vibrant hues of blue and green. She knows these girls love each other more than anything or anyone else in the world.
By the end of sophomore year, Riley has had her fair share of boyfriends and, unbeknownst to Riley, Maya has had an equal share. Maya likes to think that's she's strong enough to handle it all the time, but when her emotions really do get the best of her, she seeks out a forgettable boy from class and imagines that she's kissing those pinkpinkpink lips instead of unfamiliar ones. It satiates her hunger for a while, but it's always back too soon, a flicker of a flame that grows and grows.
Orange is one of Maya's favourite colours. The colour of Riley's favourite sun dress, the hints of it hidden in Riley's eyes, shining only when the sun hits them at a certain angle. Other times it's red. The dark red of the lipstick Riley wears on special occasions, the bright red of the matching Christmas jumpers that Riley makes them wear every year, that she sometimes catches laying out as pyjamas on Riley's bed, the subtle pinkish red blush of Riley's cheeks when Maya moves a little too close when they share a bed at sleepovers, or when Riley accidentally brushes Maya when she wasn't expecting it.
Mayas favourite red is the darker shade Riley's cheeks turn when Maya questions her one night, playing 20 questions after a rather uneventful round of truth or dare. They're both tired and almost delirious at 3am but insist on pulling an all-nighter if only for the sake of saying they did it.
"Honey?" Maya stretches out a hand on the bare mattress, the heat so unbearable that both her and Riley are wearing as little as possible, making Maya even hotter in the most unfair way imaginable.
"Mhm?" Riley replies in a hum, linking pinky fingers with Maya without needing to look. They're both laying on their backs on Maya's bed, watching the ceiling fan spin silent circles, unable to do much else in the humid heat of August.
"Do you ever think about kissing people you shouldn't kiss?" Maya tiptoes around the subject.
"Like teachers or something?" Riley wrinkles her nose in disgust and giggles, her free hand moving to hold her stomach as she laughs. Maya laughs too, watching Riley, realising just how oblivious she is. She intertwines their fingers to regain Riley's attention, and shifts a bit closer so that she can stroke the inside of Riley's arm with her other hand. Suddenly Riley's back with the girl, tingling at her touch and alternating between watching her eyes and her lips. Riley knows what this is about. She also knows what she wants it to be about, but that's just a far off fantasy. Maya likes Lucas. She must do. That's why she's being so weird. Riley giggles again and continues. "I get what you mean, though." Riley admits, thinking about the times she's lusted after boys who already have girlfriends. 'Especially since me and Lucas are temporarily not together at the moment. Like guys who are off limits." Maya frowns, her eyebrows crinkling closer together, and she's glad that Riley can't see her face.
"Uh..yeah. Like that, kind of." Maya ends the conversation but stays put, stroking Riley's arm and thinking about what could be. They make it to 5am, and watch the sunrise before falling asleep curled together, as always, despite the heat.
Just after Maya's 17th birthday, Maya gets really caught up in an art project and spent a lot of time at home on her own, trying to focus. Riley understands, of course, but that doesn't stop the sadness she feels at Maya's absence. Even around Lucas, with whom she's been official with for a while now, she still feels empty, as if a part of her has been taken away.
She does her research that night with her trusty pal Google and takes the next day off school to find out what is wrong with her. She texts Farkle to let him know shes figuring some stuff out, and he stops by after school. He is the first person she tells. He's barely through the bay window when Riley grabs both of his hands and pulls him into a hug that he can't refuse.
"I mean are you sure? You really liked Lucas...Maybe you're bisexual or pansexual?" Farkle took the liberty of learning the names and meanings of different sexualities when Smackle came out as asexual last year, just because he's Farkle. They talk for a while until Farkle asks how she knew.
"Uuuuh I don't know. I guess I just realised that I was looking at girls differently. Girls as in famous celebrities and stuff." Riley tries to pass off the lie but Farkle is a genius, so it's really not hard for him to see through it. He nods and smiles because at least Riley is being open about it.
She doesn't tell him that she was certain of it after Maya's birthday, when she lit up when receiving her gift from Riley, or how her eyes glowed with the reflection of the candles on her cake, or how she spent the whole day with Riley and her family and Katy, laughing at the dinner table, getting competitive playing board games, and being protective over having Riley on her team because 'it's you and me forever.' She leaves out the details; what do they matter to Farkle?
The next person she tells is Auggie. Despite his age, he is almost as wise as his father already. She knew he would understand, and he does.
"Okay, Riley. I'm glad you figured it out," is his comment on it.
"Me too, Augs." Riley smiles wide and hugs her brother tight.
Next was Lucas. At first he thought the age-old 'come over we need to talk' text was a sign of the end of their relationship, and his eyes were pricked with tears by the time he reached the bay window.
Riley realises how impossibly sweet he is when he breathes a sigh of relief at her reassurance, and when he nods his head as she speaks, taking in the information with a small, comforting smile on his face. Of course, he too understood. After a long embrace in his arms, Riley lets go and bites her lip as she sits back down onto the bay window, mentally ticking Lucas off on the list of people to tell.
"Hey have you told Maya yet?" Lucas asks, stroking her arm. Riley shakes her head 'no'.
"I just don't know how to tell her." Lucas sits beside her.
"It'll come to you in time. I'll tell Zay and Smackle and make sure they keep it under wraps." He smiles again and kisses her forehead quickly before sliding out of the bay window and into the evening light. And so she's yet to tell her parents or Maya.
It doesn't come to her though, and she keeps it quiet through Zay's insistent looks when the room is silent, Smackle's scowls and pointing across classrooms and cafeterias, and Farkle's obvious deducing of the situation.
After months of silent pining, forlorn looks of lust, lip biting and fidgeting from both parties, when Riley turns 17, Maya takes her out on a mystery adventure to a town hall just outside of the city.
She wears a mid-length deep red, flowing dress with flower embroidering around the hem and Maya wears a light blue dress of a similar cut with a high neck and tighter fit. Oblivious to each other's clothing choices, when Maya arrives at the front door of The Matthews' apartment, which surprises Riley, they both stop thinking and worrying and take in each other whilst Cory and Topanga watch on with excitement and pride. Nothing has be said, because all they could possibly say is communicated through their eyes, flitting up and down each other's bodies, flirting without conversation. Riley notes that the blue makes Maya's eyes stand out even more than usual, somehow.
She kisses her parents goodbye and Maya tells them they'll be back late, gaining Riley's interest.
They take the subway and reminisce of all the time they've spent together in subway carriages, riding to god knows where. They get off and Riley immediately looks confused as they surface.
"Maya? Where are we?" Riley asks with a confused, inquiring smile and furrowed brow. Maya's reply is in the form of a knowing grin and she takes Riley's hand and pulls her into the building directly opposite the subway.
"Two entries please, my good sir," Maya muses in a fake British accent to the old man sat at a table to the left of the door, laying some money on the table.
"Here you go," the man says in a croaky voice, handing over two wristbands. "This will get you drinks and a dance." He continues. Riley starts to make sense of where they are now, though it doesn't make it any less weird. "Enjoy yourselves, ladies." The man says as they walk towards a set of double doors and through into a large gymnasium done up with bunting, streamers and bright colours. The pretty dress request from Maya makes a whole lot more sense to Riley now too.
They take a moment to take in the atmosphere; old people dancing around the main floor, others sat chatting at round tables, a long table covered in food, punch bowls and cups.
"Holy crap, Maya!" Riley grips Maya's hand tighter and the blonde grins with pride, tentatively touching Riley's upper arm, stroking her thumb up and down.
"Honey, I just wanted your birthday to be unique and fun." Maya rocks forwards and backwards very slightly on her heels and bites her bottom lip, looking into Riley's eyes as they scan the room.
"Come on, let's find a table." It's Riley's turn to drag Maya along now, who is still lost in the memory of brown eyes.
For a while they eat and watch the elderly people dance.
"You know, I wasn't aware this was a senior thing." Maya laughs and feels a warm blush rise to her cheeks.
"I think it makes it even better." Riley smiles back genuinely and places a reassuring hand on Maya's knee, overwhelmed with happiness. Maya's blush deepens to a crimson, dotted across her cheeks, and she sips from her glass to hide it. Riley leans back in her chair and resumes watching the other people in the room dance. Older songs play from a laptop hooked up to the main speakers and Maya finds the juxtaposition amusing.
"Right!" Maya perks up, standing and taking Riley's hand delicately. "Are we gonna dance or do I have to make you?" She grins wide and Riley stands to curtsy. They walk the little way to the dance floor and hold each other's hands, moving together and away from each other, and occasionally one of them spins the other. 'Dancing Queen' comes on immediately, as if it were fate, and they hold hands and sway to the beat. At every 'young and sweet, only seventeen', Maya looks deep into Riley's eyes and points at her with a dumb smile on her face.
The music soon changes pace and couples in their 50's and 60's start to request songs, the first of which being 'Can't help falling in love' by Elvis. Maya rolls her eyes at how strangely apt the songs are and looks at Riley, trying to figure out if she still wants to dance. Riley just smiles and pulls Maya towards her and into a closer position, so that Maya's arms reach up the slight height difference to Riley's neck, and Riley's hands are on Maya's hips. It's a position they've taken before at proms and formals and even one Sadie Hawkins Dance that was held at school (they went together with Smackle, as Riley was having trouble with Lucas again, and they all took turns slow dancing with each other.)
For a while they just smile lazy, happy smiles at each other, not breaking eye contact, Maya swirling her fingers delicately around the stray hairs on the nape of Riley's neck, making her spine tingle at the contact. Maya slides one hand from Riley's neck all the way down the inside of her arm to meet their two palms. They link their fingers and prop their intertwined hands out in order to dance comfortably, not noticing the change of songs that come and go. Naturally, they move closer, their chests only a few inches apart. Maya's other hand strokes Riley's bare shoulder, feeling the smooth skin with her thumb, earning a soft smile from Riley, and she thinks she could really, truly live in this moment forever, and the thought makes her heart hammer even harder. No worries about college, no unwanted memories, no pain, no boys. Just her and the girl she loves.
Riley realises that if Maya looks at her again with those emerald-aqua eyes she might go weak at the knees, so she holds onto Maya's waist a little tighter, willing herself to endure the perfect moment without being a clumsy teen in a room of elderly couples. Still, there they are, two endless pools of love and passion and fire. Despite what she says about how purple is her favourite colour, she's known right from the start that the incredible, rich colour of Maya's eyes will always be her favourite colour.
The kaleidoscopic blue of Maya's eyes makes Riley feel like she can't breathe right and nothing can compare to the sensation of falling that she gets when she sees them.
Every song that plays seems to have the same pace, so they stay that way for a while. At some points they shift to get closer, with Maya leaning her head on Riley's chest or shoulder, and Riley hopes to god that the pounding of her heart isn't noticeable. Other times, they move into a tango stance, with a hand grasped in each other's pointing horizontally, and they rock back and forth.
Maya knows she's in too deep and she doesn't care one bit, not tonight, because the feeling of loving and being loved in return, in what way she can't tell, can't be down trodden by fears and worries of misunderstood feelings.
Eventually, the hall is almost cleared out and the large clock reads 22:37, so they reluctantly grab their coats from one of many abandoned tables and cross the street, down into the subway. Without even realising it, they keep their hands intertwined throughout the whole journey, and Riley leans her head against Maya's shoulder, a familiar contact for the both of them. With love-dumb smiles stuck on both of their lips, they both close their eyes and take in the feeling of contentment and fulfilment.
Drunk on courage and admittedly sleepy from the evening, Riley relaxes into Maya's arm, holding Maya's right hand with her left and stroking the soft skin of Maya's inner arm with her right. Eyes closed, Riley loses her inhibitions and leaves a soft kiss on Maya's upper arm. Maya tries to think nothing of it, despite the butterflies in her stomach telling her otherwise. Riley realises that the gesture was considerably gay for a presumably straight girl, just out of a long relationship with Mr. Cowboy from the baseball team. But then, Riley is pretty gay for a presumably straight girl, just out of a relationship with Mr. Cowboy from the baseball team. But Maya doesn't know that, nor does Riley want Maya to know, so she stops dragging her finger tips up and down Maya's arm and tries to resist the urge to touch Maya anymore than usual. Almost as if contact is what she wants, but with Maya it's what she needs.
Maya walks the two blocks to Riley's house with Riley to ensure her safety, but mainly to spend as much time with her as possible before the night is over. They go in through the front door, and Riley throws her things onto the couch. Still holding Maya's hand, they walk towards Cory and Topanga's room. At 11:04, Topanga is sat against the headboard in bed reading with the lamp on and Cory is fast asleep beside her. Topanga smiles up at the girls and gives a thumbs up and they both nod.
They walk a little way along the hall to Auggie's room where he too is out for the count. Riley let's go of Maya's hand and treads carefully around the squeaky floorboards like she did when she was younger to the side of Auggie's bed. Maya watches from the doorway as Riley strokes Auggie's hair out of his face and leaves a kiss on his head and she knows she's fallen, completely. It hits her like a punch in the gut, because she's never been so open and devoted and loving to a person before, and she's terrified.
The notion of abandonment coming from the one person she loves more than anything else in the world makes her feel sick. And suddenly her sunrise, her sunset, her moonlight is there in front of her, holding her hand, pulling her into her bedroom and it all feels so surreal with a new pair of eyes. The realisation brings a whole new level of fear into the game. She can't do this. She can't ruin what they have. For her sake and for Riley's.
They're sat at the bay window and Riley notices Maya has tuned out. She puts a soft hand on Maya's chin and turns her head, keeping one hand on her chin as the other rises to push a piece of blonde hair behind Maya's ear that flushes red like sunburn. Riley thinks this could be it, Maya's had a hold of her the whole night and she might finally be able to say what she feels, brushing aside her fears, digging deep into her courage fuelled by those green pools that shimmer in the moonlight.
Maya smiles and turns her head away to face the rest of the room, trying not to lose herself or her calm, both of which Riley is making it hard to do. Riley holds both of Maya's hands in her lap and Maya slowly turns back to face Riley.
"Peaches," Riley smiles so big it hurts. "Thank you for such an amazing night. I love you." Riley leans in and kisses Maya on the cheek, lingering for a second, just long enough to feel a small tear roll down Maya's cheek on to Riley's lip.
Maya tries to smile bright but it comes to the surface as bittersweet. Riley doesn't mean it, not the way Maya hopes against hope that she does. She's the straightest girl around, it's just platonic.
"Happy birthday, Riles." Maya says, voice croaky and eyes stinging. In no time, Maya is gone, out through the bay window before Riley can piece together why Maya was crying. She watches the blue dress move down the fire escape and into the distance until it's a speck between buildings and bright lights.
Riley tries to sleep after a couple of hours of fruitless waiting for contact from Maya. But when Riley closes her eyes, she feels the tear on her lips, sees those bright eyes and then the blue of Maya's dress, fading into the distance with quick steps, as if her mind is tormenting her.
Maya goes straight home and cries to Shawn about it, about how shitty her fears make her feel, how perfect the night was up until she left, how she should have asked to stay, begged to stay, ignored the pain like she usually does and played pretend. Shawn strokes her hair and dries her tears, like any good father would, and Maya feels such relief and safety in his embrace, which brings on a whole other load of emotions. After a while, she goes to bed and tries to sleep away the seemingly endless onslaught of emotions, but she can't sleep right, tossing and turning, haunted by swirls of red, orange, brown and pink.
By morning, Riley feels even worse. She sits silent at the breakfast table, missing Maya's presence around this time on usual Saturdays. She screwed up. This is every fear she pushed aside coming true. Auggie asks Topanga why Riley is crying into her pancakes and Riley sniffs in reply as her mom rushes to hold her. Her tears spill out the way that the words do, in between sobs and gasps.
"Its Maya... She-she's gone and it's my fault," Riley grabs hold of the fabric of her moms dressing gown and allows herself to be lifted and sat on to the couch.
"Oh, sweetie." Topanga says and sits beside Riley, rubbing her arm in comfort.
"I told her I love her." Riley grimaces and a few more tears roll down her cheeks. She bites the inside of her cheek to try and control herself. Topanga nods and hugs her little girl. It's not like she couldn't see it coming. The signs were all there if you were paying attention, and she always was. Resting her chin on Riley's head, she rubs her back gently.
"Its okay, honey. She'll be back in no time. I know these things."
After a consoling hug from Auggie and Cory, Riley goes to her room to spend the day thinking and googling how to repair a relationship and work around unrequited love.
The regret of leaving Riley hits Maya square in the chest when she wakes at noon. Her mind keeps revisiting the image of Riley's confused, hurt eyes as she left the bay window.
At the breakfast table, she twists her ring around her finger and bites her lip, staring at a point on the table, unfocused. Shawn understands and treads lightly. Having had the situation explained to her last night, Katy comes in in her work clothes and kisses Maya on her cheek, strokes her temples with her thumbs and hugs her daughter.
"I'm sorry baby girl," is all she can say, but Maya appreciates it more than Katy could imagine. The situation is too tight to tell whether they'll be the same again. Maya nods and finishes eating.
"Have a good day, mom." She smiles weakly and returns to her room.
After an hour of laying on her bed, sketching and thinking, Maya forms a plan; to be completely and utterly fearless in the eyes of her biggest fear.
Maya walks to the Matthews' apartment at around 8pm, after spending the whole afternoon debating on whether this is a great idea or an awful mistake waiting to happen. She texts Riley to make sure the bay window is open and Riley feels her heart in her throat the minute she reads the text. She cleans her room, freshens her face up and opens the bay window all the way. And then she waits.
Climbing the fire exit has never been more petrifying to Maya. She sees Riley through the glass before she can be seen, and her leather jacket makes her feel way too hot. Unsure of her approach, Maya thinks on it as she looks down the escape at the road below. This is going to change the most important thing in her life. If it's for the worse, Maya doesn't know what she'll do.
Riley's waiting there, sat as she was some odd eleven years ago. And just like before, suddenly Maya is there beside her, without a sound. Riley's immediate reaction is to smile, but then it quickly turns into a frown.
"Maya, I didn-"
"No wait, Riles, please let me talk." Maya asks. Riley complies, desperate to know what is going on. "I left yesterday night because I was..." Maya takes a deep breath in. "I was overwhelmed," her eyes prickle with tears already, and if Maya were able to form cohesive thoughts, she would think this is equally her strongest and weakest moment, "and scared because I've never loved someone the way I love you." Maya presses her tongue into her cheek and a tear falls from her eyelashes. Riley feels like she's being picked up, after falling for so long. Riley wipes the tear away with her thumb and blinks back her own early signs of tears. "And I have never seen or felt the kind of love I feel for you. And it fucking terrified me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Riles. I was afraid that if I stayed I would ruin what we have in the hopes of something bigger."
Before Maya can continue, Riley holds Maya's hand and speaks.
"I tried to sleep last night but all I could think of was you. I feel like I'm completely out of control and that's so strange and scary and thrilling to me. When I close my eyes I can't help but see your eyes. And they have become my favourite colour because it's you!" Riley confesses, only now understanding the gravity of her emotions. She frowns again, getting her head around her thoughts. "And I love you."
It's Maya's turn to wipe the tears from Riley's cheek now. A warmth of relief spreads over Maya's entire being, and she's never felt so hopeful and at peace.
"I wake up and I physically ache for you, and it took me a while to realise but it's the truth that I love you with everything that I am." Riley says, feeling a lightness in her chest. They're silent for a moment that sits somewhere indeterminable between a few seconds and infinity.
Maya smirks a sideways smile as she gathers her thoughts.
"My favourite colour is you and me." Maya says. Riley furrows her brow in confusion and questioning but her love-struck smile remains.
"You asked me when we first met and I had never even thought about it. And for so long I went through different motions, and I thought you were my favourite colour for a long time too." Maya says, but Riley isn't quite sure she's getting it. "But, Riles, us together, your browns and reds and oranges and my greens and blues and yellows, the cold and the warm, the different hues, it's complete, it's-" Maya's babbling is shut up by Riley's soft kiss, with tentative hands resting on either side of Maya's head, Riley being clumsy and Maya being so sure that she furrows her brow in concentration. Maya feels like she could cry all over again and Riley can't help but smile into the kiss because it feels like every damn day of her life has been leading to this. The tender moment soon becomes much more involved and passionate, as Maya's hands roam Riley's sides and Riley leans, pulling Maya on top of her by the lapels of her jacket, making out like it's the end of the world. Riley reluctantly pulls away for a moment to catch her breath.
"I love you so-" Riley tries to speak but is cut off by Maya biting her bottom lip and kissing her again.
"Shut up and kiss me, you nerd." Maya mutters playfully and Riley scoffs, sitting up slightly, leaning on her elbows. Maya doesn't move from her position, on all fours above Riley, only a few inches from her face. Maya raises her eyebrows questioningly in jest.
"I don't recall being the one confessing my love through colour metaphors, Peaches." Riley smirks, knowing her point is equally valid and hilarious.
"Oh shut up, you love it." Maya watches as Riley bites her bottom lip suggestively, and they gaze into each other's eyes.
And then they collapse, falling into each other, and it's long awaited and it's fulfilling and it's complete.