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"I'm sorry."
Steven said it to his father, but didn't look up to meet his eyes. The words were so soft the calling of the seagulls nearly drowned him out.
"S'okay, Shtuball," Greg responded, philosophically, walking his son back from the pier as Lapis Lazuli launched back into the dusk sky, winging her way back to the barn she shared with Peridot. Her water wings glistened in multicolors as the setting sun reflected off their undersides.
"No, it's really not okay," Steven insisted, flopping backward onto the sand to stare upward at the sky. "I keep trying to fix things, and I keep ...not fixing them. Or making them worse."
Greg lowered himself to the sand, captain's hat sitting askew on his head. "You make mistakes, son," he said gently. "That's part of being human. Part of growing up. But the Gems and I are doing a pretty good job raising you." He reached out a hand and touched his son's forehead. "All the mistakes you make come from wanting to help. Genuinely wanting to make things better for everyone you meet."
Steven brushed his father's hand away, still grim-faced. "For all the good I did. I took over Lars' body, so excited I could make things right with him and Sadie, that I didn't even stop to think about where Lars was, or whether he would've wanted me to. Or even what Sadie wanted!
"I tried to help Peridot and all that did was provoke her to reveal she's a flawed cut. That the Diamond Authority back on Homeworld are making their gems weaker because they're running out of resources, so she can't shapeshift like we can." Steven winced at the recollection, guilt sitting heavy on his boyish features.
"I tried to help Pearl, and cost you all that money--"
"You did help Pearl," Greg interrupted firmly but gently. "You helped her and you helped me. We might've kept giving each other wide berth forever without ever really talking out our feelings. We might even manage to be real friends one day because of you. You think I'm more upset about money than I am about finally getting all the Gems' respect...their friendship? C'mon, Steven. You know me better than that."
Steven drew his knees up to his chest. "Okay," he allowed, watching the figure of Lapis grow tiny as she flew further away. "But you didn't seem too happy about losing the boat."
"Well, no," Greg admitted, wincing a little at the memory of feeling the boat lurch and then realizing it was sinking due to a hole in its hull. His eyes darkened a little and his voice grew soft with recollection and the closing in of a fear he'd put in the back of his mind. "The way I hear it, Lapis only did that to protect you from the same gem who gave you the black eye a while back." Greg reached over and pulled Steven into a tight embrace, remembering his feeling that fear for his son might stop his heart. "And if you think I'd be upset with her for protecting my only child, my beloved son, because we lost the boat? You've got another think coming. You're irreplaceable! The boat isn't!"
Steven reached to hug his father back, and held on for a long silence. "But Jasper's still out there. Lapis' day trip was supposed to be happy and now it's just made everything worse!"
Greg sighed. "Lapis Lazuli acted to protect you because she cares about you and knows you care about her. She clearly doesn't want to fuse with Jasper again, so that's a plus, right? You've got Peridot on your side now too. Jasper's outnumbered, and she can't force Lapis to do anything she doesn't want to do. Nobody can force Lapis to do anything she doesn't want to do. The Water Witch hangs out on a planet that's 75% water. If anybody's in their element, Steven, she is."
Steven brightened slightly, hearing the ring of truth in his father's words. "Too bad I can't fix Jasper," he murmured, eyes still fixed on the distant horizon.
"It's not your job to fix everything that's broken, Steven," Greg said gently. "And...not everything that's broken is fixable. Remember, you fixed my leg, but we had to use duct tape on the geode."
Steven didn't reply; it would have only made Greg feel guilty to remind him that Greg's pretending to still be injured was what diminished Steven's confidence so badly that his healing spit had stopped working altogether. He simply got to his feet, then offered his father a hand up. "Thanks for talking me down, Dad."
Greg allowed Steven to pull him to his feet, marveling that his son's Gem heritage was starting to show in his strength, his speed. "All part of the job," he said lightly, but his eyes were still solemn with concern. "You're still worrying about Jasper, aren't you? She may be one of those things you just can't fix."
"I'm more worried about what she's gonna do next," Steven admitted. "I think I'll go ask Garnet." The Crystal Gem leader was notoriously taciturn, her conversational energy always turned inward. But the need to hear what she saw of the future was strong in Steven; his brows were furrowed with determination.
Greg watched Steven execute a leap that took him across the entire distance of the beach, placing him directly over the front porch of the house. Steven descended slowly and landed gently, and Greg caught his breath, a memory of Rose leaping toward the temple in the same way and wafting gently to earth flashing before his mind's eye.
Steven may have hung out in the form of an eight year old for a number of years, but recent events are maturing him a little faster every day, Greg reflected. Pretty sure he won't have to worry about looking like a kid when Connie grows up.
Steven glanced over his shoulder one more time to wave to his father before going into the house. Greg turned to walk back to his van, giving the occasional worried glance out at the ocean himself.