Work Text:
“Will.”
“Hannibal.”
“How many times must we have this discussion?”
“But just look at that face!”
The conversation was cut off by a pair of dirty paws suddenly appearing on Hannibal’s previously spotless pants. Both men shifted their focus to the short, scruffy mutt the paws were attached to. A dog sat between the pair wagging his tail as he basked in the newfound attention focused on him.
“These were new pants, Will. Custom tailored. Look at them now, Will,” Hannibal said as he gestured to the new design the dog had left on his leg.
“Well I think that a few paw prints can only improve an outfit.”
“Will.”
“I’m only joking, Hannibal,” Will reassured him as he crouched down and scratched a bit of the mess off Hannibal’s pants. He rubbed it between his fingers before showing the dirt to Hannibal. “It’s just mud. It’ll wash right out.”
“Regardless, this highlights the problem your new friend represents.”
“Oh he’s not a problem, he’s a good boy. Aren’t you? Aren’t you?” Will cooed while patting the dog.
“While I understand your attachment to canines, they have no place in our home. They’re a mess waiting to happen and one that we agreed would not live with us.”
With a heavy sigh, Will began to say his farewells. The stray responded in kind by licking Will’s face. Hannibal dutifully ignored the germ-filled display.
“Disgusting.” Both men turned towards the unknown voice. A young man dressed in a cheaply made suit had stopped reading the file he was holding and was instead staring at Will in revulsion.
Hannibal was not pleased. “Do I know you?”
The man narrowed his eyes before replying in a superior sounding tone. “No, but do you know how many germs are on that thing?”
“There are germs on everything,” Will replied with a frown as he wrapped a protective arm around the dog.
The man was clearly not amused by Will’s reply. “Well I can certainly see why you wouldn’t be bothered about sitting in the dirt.”
“You appear to be dressed for work, don’t you need to get back to it Mr…” Hannibal trailed off as he waited for the man in front of him to supply a name and make it that much easier to track him later.
His future dinner did not disappoint. “Roxman. Edgar Roxman, administrative assistant of accounting at Arborous Inc.. And you’re right, I don’t have the time to lounge around in the mud with stray dogs. I have to go contribute to society.”
Both Hannibal and Will watched in silence as Edgar Roxman turned and walked further down the path. When he was a suitable distance away Hannibal turned to Will and said in an unnaturally casual tone, “what a rude man.”
“Hannibal, no.”
“I haven’t suggested anything, Will,” Hannibal replied in his most innocent sounding voice.
Will was not in the mood to play this game with Hannibal. “I know what you’re trying to do and the answer is no. We agreed. No dogs and no unnecessary murder.”
“You were willing to break that rule just moments ago.”
“But I decided not to because I love you and want you to be happy,” Will said as he got back on his feet and crossed his arms.
“Getting rid of someone who insults you would make me happy.”
“Not getting caught and thrown back into jail would probably make you even happier.”
There was a pause before Hannibal said, “you may keep the dog.”
“What?”
“Come help me gather supper and you can keep your new friend.”
Will took a moment to weigh the decision in his head. On the one hand, it was an extremely petty reason for a murder and could very well end up leading Jack right to their doorstep. But on the other hand, this dog had the most adorable chocolate eyes. Choosing between the two wasn’t as hard as it should have been. “Alright, but first we need to take Peanut to a vet.”
“Peanut?”
“Yeah, the spots on his fur look kinda like peanut butter.”
“I suppose they do,” Hannibal agreed as the three walked off together and he began to plan next week’s dinners.
“This was fun,” Hannibal said as he cleaned off a scalpel. “You enjoyed it as well, didn’t you, Will?”
“Don’t confuse enjoyment with agreement,” Will responded while packing up a lung. “The guy was an ass, but that doesn’t mean he should be put on your shopping list.”
“But you’re standards are practically impossible to meet. We sacrifice valuable bonding time because of them.”
That actually got a laugh out of Will. “You’re right. We only eat, sleep, walk, talk, cook, dance, read, and do whatever else you can think of together. We’re practically strangers.”
“I cherish every moment we have together, Will. I only want to indulge in every act of intimacy possible with you, and I can think of very few things more intimate than the ending of a life.”
“You know, in all my profiles of the Ripper I never pegged him as a sentimentalist.”
“Only when you are involved, Mylimasis,” Hannibal said as he moved closer to Will and took his hand in his own.
Will let out an amused huff in response before replying, “I love you too. Even though sometimes you seem hellbent on getting us both thrown back into the BSHCI.”
Hannibal’s grip on Will’s hand tightened slightly as he responded, “I would burn this world to the ground before I let anyone separate us. My desires will never come at the cost of your safety, Will. But the world is so very ugly sometimes and there are many ways for a person to disappear.”
Maybe it was the passion and resolve Hannibal spoke with or maybe it was the lingering bloodlust, but Will couldn’t help but be moved by the declaration. “I’ll trade you.”
“Trade me?”
“You can go and kill whomever you wish; but for every person you kill over a minor offense, I get another dog.”
“And for every dog you bring home, I get to fill the freezer?”
“Yes. Sound fair?”
“Very.” Hannibal replied before sealing the deal with a kiss. “Although, judging by what we have taken from Mr. Roxman, I imagine it will be some time before I kill again.”
The next day Hannibal came home with a cocker spaniel puppy and some select cuts of a tailgater.