Work Text:
Will was tired. He was tired of monsters, he was done with nightmares, and most of all, he was sick of Mike Wheeler. Will had been patient he had been kind but Mike was too dense to see what was right in front of him: the closet. Will was not one to out anybody— besides the time he practically outed Robin by calling Mike “his Tammy”—but Mike Wheeler was not straight. “A brush of the elbow, a bump of the knee,” Robin described Mike perfectly! Still, he feigned innocence. He was always hiding behind El trying to save their “relationship” but Will knew, like the Titanic, that was a sinking ship. He thought his coming out would finally give Mike the courage to face his own homoerotic tendencies but alas, boys really can’t do anything right. Following his coming out, Mike became an awkward bumbling mess anytime he was in the same room as Will, which wasn’t often as he refused to leave El’s side— codependent much? Will was going to let that slide—Mike just wasn’t ready to accept his homosexual identity, that’s fine! At least, it was, until he doubled down and played in Will’s face.
“Friends? Never… Best friends.”
What a load of crap! Do best friends look at each other’s lips, Micheal? Did Nancy ever tell Barb they would “go crazy together?” Mike can’t even send a clear signal from the top of a radio tower for God’s sake! In that moment, Will was about one more joke away from pushing Mike off that Goddamn tower, “best friends” be damned. Instead, he took a deep breath and continued climbing up the tower to recount the story to Robin. She, of course, was livid alongside Will at Mike’s appalling behavior. “It’s like he’s been lobotomized,” she commented sarcastically.
Once they reached the top of the tower, Will glared daggers at Mike as they awaited their possible demise. He did not want to die alongside his ten year long situationship. As the antenna made contact with the Abyss and the tower shook violently, Will secretly hoped Mike would fall from the tower and plummet to his death. Unfortunately, it was Steve who almost fell victim to the tower’s quakes. Despite all the crazy shit he’d seen, Will never thought Steve “The Hair” Harrington would be a better ally than the king of internalized homophobia—Mike Wheeler. Luckily, Jonathan caught the damsel in distress, Steve, and the whole Party made it into the Abyss unscathed.
It felt like they’d been walking for hours and the dry air stung Will’s nose as he hiked through the Abyss. The walk would’ve been fine, peaceful even, had Mike not opened his big fat mouth.
“Will did you ever have a crush on Steve?” Will didn’t bother replying to the ignorant comment, hoping Mike would stop if he didn’t entertain him. He couldn’t have been more wrong. “Do you think Eddie was gay? Do you have one of those Gaydars or whatever?”
Yes, Mike, Eddie was obviously not straight and he didn’t need a “Gaydar” to know that. Anyone with eyes could see it! Will shouldn’t have been surprised, Mike had proven his inability to sense out homosexuality—even in himself. Luckily for Will, and unfortunately for Mike, this comment bothered Dustin too. Dustin immediately turned towards him and pulled Mike closer by his collar. “And what if he was gay? Why should that matter?” Dustin spat out angrily. Will appreciated the support, even if his friend was just defending Eddie. Mike was clearly thrown off by Dustin’s reaction and immediately stuttered out an apology. A small argument broke out between the two as Mike backtracked on his previous statement and Dustin, rightfully, accused him of being homophobic. While the boys went back and forth Will struggled to hold back the anger he felt building. He was stupid to believe nothing would change after he came out. His friends couldn’t go one day without making his sexuality the topic of conversation! What upset him the most was that Mike—the boy he’d loved and a total homosexual—was the source of these comments and jokes.
Robin noticed the shift in Will’s mood and jogged ahead to meet him. The two fell into step beside each other and walked in silence for a few minutes before Robin finally spoke, “Straight people, am I right?” Suddenly, Will got an idea. He stopped walking and planted his feet into the dry ground, turning his face towards the sky. Will heard his mom call for him and felt Robin grab his shoulders as he closed his eyes and tried to tap into Vecna’s hive mind. His vision switched to Vecna’s and he watched as a young Henry Creel bashed a man’s head in with a rock—cunty! Will tried to gain his attention, “Henry, I have a proposal for you.” His head whipped around before he realized Will’s voice was coming from within.
Henry spoke dryly, “Bitch, please, you know who the fuck I am. What could I need from you?” He was clearly not amused.
Will, however, was not deterred, “I want to help you, Henry. I’m tired of this heteronormative gossip and I want to create a new, yassified world.” This, got Henry’s attention. Will continued, “My Gaydar is tingling, Henry, and I bet you feel the same as I do. Maybe that’s why you kidnapped me, you weren’t evil, you just wanted to queen out.” He felt a tear slide down Henry’s cheek, success.
Henry let out a long sigh and replied sassily, “I’m in. I’ll leave these brats and materialize in the Abyss. I’ve been aware of you and your friends’ presence, by the way.”
With his plan in motion, Will left Vecna’s mind and returned to the Abyss. He came to surrounded by his friends and watched as Robin paced anxiously around him.
“Hey, guys, what’s going on?” Will asked nonchalantly to the surprise of the Party. Ignoring their worried gazes, Will continued, “By the way, Vecna is en route… So, get ready, I guess?” His message did not reassure the group who proceeded to run around in a panic and rant about their possible options. In all the chaos, nobody seemed to notice Will’s calm demeanor—nobody, besides Robin, that is.
Robin came to his side and asked, “Why don’t you seem to care about this, like, at all?” Will crouched down to the ground and pulled Robin with him conspiratorially.
“Don’t tell anybody,” he whispered seriously, “but I’m teaming up with Vecna and we are going to kill all straight people.” Robin’s face fell as she considered Will’s words.
“Let me get this straight,” she chuckled at the word play, “you and the demon are going to work together and exterminate straight people?” Will merely nodded in response, prompting Robin to continue, “Okay, yeah, I’m in. Let’s fucking do this!” She nodded resolutely and began to hype herself up.
Shortly after Will let Robin in on his plan, Vecna made his appearance. He walked up to Will and dabbed him up in greeting. Joyce ran up to Will, shouting obscenities at Vecna, before Will turned to her and said, “do not come.” With the help of Vecna’s telekinesis, Joyce stopped and Will turned back towards Vecna. The two began whispering amongst themselves as the others watched on in awe.
Once the two came to a conclusion, Will turned towards the Party with a grin on his face. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he spoke calmly, “you are all going to a page out of my book and come out—right the fuck now.” His statement was met with confusion and the group members began to whisper among themselves. Seeing as no one was following his command, Will continued, “You heterosexuals are so fucking useless. Robin, come here.” She joined him and Vecna at the front of the group to the shock of everyone else.
“What can I say? Men suck.” She explained with a shrug before everyone’s attention shifted to Will who began to step away from his position at the head of the group. He stalked towards the rest of the Party until he came face to face with Mike Wheeler.
“Mike, you’re bi,” he stated matter of factly. Mike’s jaw dropped and he looked around at the group in horror. Will used this as an opportunity to mock him, “I’m crying ‘cause why does no one care.”
Mike finally found his voice and mumbled, “I’m not gay, that’s- that’s a- that’s a—“ Will rolled his eyes at Mike’s idiotic answer and simply turned around and returned to his place next to Vecna.
“Everyone else, I’m sorry it had to end this way,” Will muttered sounding genuinely upset at the idea of all his friends dying. “Remember, it’s all Mike’s fault,” with that, he turned to Vecna and said, “hit it.”
Before Vecna had a chance to destroy Earth, Robin exclaimed, “Wait! Why don’t we just leave Earth alone, but take Mike into Vecna’s hellscape?” Will turned to Vecna to discuss her suggestion. A few minutes later, the two had made up their minds.
“Myself, Will the Wise, and Henry, the Queen of Drag, have decided to halt the destruction of Earth in favor of torturing Micheal Wheeler!” Will’s declaration was met with cheers from the Party and everyone besides Mike began to jump for joy. Vecna quickly took a pleading Mike into his lair before joining in on the celebration.
Once everyone, including Henry Creel, had returned to Earth the Party met at the Byers’ house for dinner. When Hopper broke the news of Mike’s “disappearance” to El she simply sighed and said, “Good riddance! He was really starting to piss me off!”
As they ate, Lucas turned to Dustin and asked, “Who knew all we needed to do to defeat Vecna was sacrifice Mike?”
Dustin simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, I’ve seen stranger things.”