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Remus Lupin was tired. Too tired. It was the night before the full moon, and he had kept himself up the whole night. He wasn't excited, not in the slightest, for what was to come.
His latest scars still decorated his skin, silver streaks across his chest and stomach. He stretched, feeling a tear, an ache. Years and years of tearing his own body apart had become tiring, he was becoming worn, used.
He didn't want it. He couldn't understand why he was trapped like this. In this body, stuck in this cursed situation, cursed to change every full moon for his whole life.
Remus was so, so tired. Living with the guilt, having to face James, Peter, Sirius, knowing he was a monster, knowing that they knew he was a monster. Especially Sirius. Sirius Black, who was everything to him. Spending days after days looking him in the eyes, knowing he could, in a fit, have killed him at any moment. It sickened Remus. His friends learned to be Animagi. For him. So they could help him and be with him. He didn't deserve them. Loyal friends who he loved so dearly, he was pointless compared to them. He was a monster, sick and tired nd tortured by his mind, his body, his curse. He was a curse to those he loved, to those he knew, to those who knew him. He was sickening.
A favor from Lily. James loved Lily. Lily Evans, she was so good at potions. His friends learned, she meant a lot to Remus, and he to her. An odd favor, though Lily thought not to question it, was the request from Remus. It was a simple ask, easy enough to carry out. "Would you make me a poison, Lily?"
Yes, of course she would. So here Remus stood, under the Whompimg Willow just like old time's sake, holding in his hand a specially brewed potion, which Lily playfully deemed "Remus' Life", a joke that was one of cruel irony.
His hands shook.
His legs.
It was sunrise. Remus always found the sun something of a mystery. The sunrise before it all fell. The dawn to the end, the day before night. The last sunrise Remus would ever see.
Would he be missed?
Surely not, the freak of a werewolf would be secure to be gone. Hogwarts would be safe.
Would Sirius be okay?
Oh.
Sirius Black.
He loved him. His everything. Sirius was everything. But soon nothing. Everything and everyone he had ever loved yet nothing he would ever see again. The dog who chose to be one to be beside the dog who was trapped in its fur.
He lifted his hand. Then the other. So it was time. As the sun peeked over the horizon, Remus took his vial to his mouth. The dawn of a new day. The last day. It was poetic.
His last sunrise. Tears streamed down his face. He took a sip, eyes turning hazy as he sat. He began to sob, realization hitting at what he had done. There was nothing more to be done. He finished the vial, watching as his vision blurred.
I'm sorry to everyone.
A paper trail left as his body convulsed on the ground.
James, Peter,
The last words as his body spasmed, shook, tore itself apart.
I hope you know you meant everything to me.
A poor dog, being put down without the warmth of its loved ones beside him.
None of this is your fault. You won't be able to save me from this. It was time.
Never again would this lupine howl at its moon.
Sirius, I wish I could have spent my life with you.
The body stilled, twitching every so often, softly.
I hope this isn't forever.
A lost boy for his lost friends.
It can't be, I'll be there with you.
Four becomes three.
I love you,
Remus.
The body was found the next morning.