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Haku is nervous. He’s never gone to Rui’s bar, and being in unfamiliar places unsettled him. Okay, well—he’s been there maybe one or two times before, but the first one didn’t count because he was just there for about five minutes just to humor Rui, and the second time was when he swung by to walk Ran back to the dorm.
So, yes. None of those occurrences counted for something, and tonight is technically his first time in Rui’s bar.
Oh, the things he did for Ran…
A smile tugs at the corner of his lips, which he quickly shakes off at the risk of looking silly as he stands before the double doors of the Obscuary dorm, under which Rui’s bar was set up. He pushes the door open and steps inside.
The place isn’t that bad, really. In fact, Rui had done a great job in setting it up—as great as it could get, being in the basement of the Obscuary dorm. It isn’t that he had a problem with the place, but more of its distance from Hotarubi. And besides, he was more used to drinking by himself, which he often did in his dorm.
But tonight, Ran had invited him over for a couple rounds of drinks, and he is not too eager in letting her down. Let’s celebrate the end of finals week, she’d said, even though they had no real breaks in Darkwick.
Still, it was Ran, and she specifically invited him; how on earth could he ever say no?
A winding staircase later, Haku finally arrives. The place isn’t too crowded, and he can’t find Rui anywhere behind the bar, so he supposes his friend might be in his room or someplace else entirely.
Another quick scan of the room shows him that Ran is already waiting for him at the far end of the bar, two glasses of cocktails sitting before her. On instinct, his lips break into a grin at the sight of her, and he practically skips to close the distance between them as quickly as possible.
“This one’s for me, I hope,” he says, smoothly getting on the stool next to her.
From the side, he sees her raise an eyebrow, but when she turns to face him, Haku sees that she is smiling. “I took the liberty of ordering for you,” she says. “I know the vice captain of Hotarubi doesn’t spend his busy hours in a bar.”
Haku gives her a playful wink. “Well, you know how it is. A busy man has no time to be unhappy, or so they say.”
“Hmm…” she hums thoughtfully. “Maybe so, but there are better ways to deal with unhappiness than to drown yourself with work.” Ran keeps her tone light, but Haku recognizes the serious edge to it.
“Hey, what can I do?” He shoots her a mischievous grin. “If the world needs me, Ran, then it needs me.”
He takes a sip from his drink, inhaling sharply at the taste—not that it tastes bad, it’s just unfamiliar. And Ran had certainly ordered it in consideration to his preferences. The thought of Ran carefully choosing a drink he might like makes his stomach feel all warm and fuzzy.
He wonders if it is the alcohol kicking in already. It’s unlikely, though, because Rui had told him once that the drinks he served were sourced from anomalous plants, which were significantly milder than actual alcohol. And Haku had built a decent tolerance to inebriation, so this warm feeling must be something else…
Before he could think too much about it, Ran begins asking him about his latest adventures. “Misadventures, I should say,” she jokes, “knowing you.”
Haku huffs. “I’ll have you know that I’m quite capable of going on missions without much incident,” he defends himself, before launching into the story of the recent investigation order he’d received.
He likes that Ran is a good listener. He can tell that she is more enthusiastic than him, even though she rarely ever shows it. She asks the right questions, remembers specific details he’d mention in passing, and chimes in with her own insights.
“I’ve gotten unfairly busy these days, so I was quite thrilled to receive your invite the other day,” he rambles. “It seems as if virtually everyone in Darkwick has problems they want me to deal with, even people higher up would come straight to me for help—not that I’m trying to brag,” he adds quickly. “Truthfully, I find it all somewhat taxing.”
“No wonder you’re worn out,” Ran says sympathetically. “Anyone would be, with that much being asked of them. But you’re always helping everyone else, so… somehow, I’m not surprised they rely on you.”
“It’s no big of a deal, really…” he tries to say, but Ran shakes her head firmly.
“It’s okay to feel tired, Haku,” she says with a warm smile. “You don’t have to carry everything on your own.”
There goes his heart. Haku quickly downs his glass, face warm. “Heh… you really have a talent for saying the exact thing people need to hear,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Careful—if you keep being that understanding, I might start relying on you instead.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” she chides. “But I don’t think I’d mind that. Relying on each other doesn’t sound so bad.” She waves over the bartender—a second-year Obscuary student—and orders a few more glasses.
“Though I guess I can’t pretend I’m not busy either,” she adds after a while. “Hotarubi’s old building takes more maintenance work than it looks, and then there are the inspections, missions, reports—some days it feels like I’m juggling too many things at the same time. Still… I kind of like knowing I’m helping, even if it gets tiring.”
As she keeps speaking, Haku realizes he’d stopped listening to her as closely as he should have. Instead, he’s caught on to the way her lashes framed her eyes, and how soft she looks in this dim light. He wonders what her hair smelled like. Will she find it strange if he sits closer to her?
Has she always been this pretty?
Who is he kidding? He did know that, and she always has been. But tonight… tonight, she looks seriously beautiful.
It is no secret to Haku that Ran liked him, and he never hid from her that he knew. But as time went on, he slowly realized that he, too, had feelings for her. He wasn’t quite sure what these feelings were, or whether they were simply a consequence of her crush on him—all he knew was that he’d have bull-headed butterflies in his stomach whenever she so much as looked at him.
Sometimes he’d think he succeeded in making sure she doesn’t know. But he could swear that sometimes he would act in such a painfully obvious manner that there was no way she didn’t know, right?
As Ran keeps talking and half of his mind pays her his attention, the other half wanders elsewhere. Is it the alcohol talking, or is it actually possible for the two of them to be more than just friends?
To Haku, being with Ran is the easiest thing in the world. She’s kind and smart, and though she can be aloof at times, he knows that she is actually warm and sweet on the inside—a side of her he had only ever gotten glimpses of. Ran is hardworking, too, and her confidence comes not with boastful pride, but with the solid knowledge that she is good at something. And… the more Haku thinks about it, the more… perfect she seems in his eyes.
And the less worthy he seems of her.
“This is nice, isn’t it?” she says, finishing her fourth glass. “I’m glad you came here with me.”
Since she’s a frequent patron here, Haku isn’t exactly surprised to know that she can hold her drinks. Still, he thinks it might be a good idea to tone it down.
“Woah there,” he says lightly. “Why don’t you slow down on the cocktails, eh?”
“You’re right,” she agrees immediately. “I suppose I just got a little carried away.” She props her elbow on the bar counter and rests her cheek on her palm, sighing contentedly. “I mean, I’m just… happy that you’re here with me. You know, when I invited you, I thought you would say no.”
Say no? Why would she think that? Haku thinks incredulously. She’d invited him and only him—of course he would say yes!
“You enjoy my company that much?” he teases, hoping she wouldn’t hear how loudly his heart is beating. Was it just him or was it getting hot in here?
She nods. “Yes.”
Her honesty comes as a surprise to him, and Haku is flabbergasted, clumsily scrambling for a response. Thank heavens for the dim lighting. Otherwise, the stubborn redness he knows is all over his face would be humiliating!
“…And that’s how I know you’ve had one too many drinks,” he says jokingly to cover up his embarrassment. He pushes her empty glass away from her, suggesting, “Perhaps we should call it a night?”
Ran nods again, though she clearly wasn’t tipsy. “Yeah, we should probably go.”
Haku figures she’s thinking that he is growing uncomfortable and simply agreeing to leave for his sake—but that cannot be farther from the truth. In fact, he was enjoying their conversation so much that the rest of the world fell away around him. Still, he doesn’t say anything to correct her assumption, because what would he even say?
At least he now has an excuse to stop the sharp turn their conversation had taken. He shudders, recalling his earlier embarrassing fumble.
On their way out, Ran calls her goodbyes to Rui—When did he even get here? Haku wonders as he gives him a wave—and as they shut the door behind them, Haku’s nerves feel impossibly electrified.
Has being with her always been this stressful? He cannot seem to recall a time where he felt nothing but ease when they were together.
“We should probably hurry,” he says, hands slipping into his pockets as he falls into step half a pace behind her, where he can watch her without being too obvious. “If we’re late, someone’s bound to make a big deal out of it.”
“Yeah,” Ran says absentmindedly.
On their way back to the dorm, they don’t talk. And somehow, it feels right, this comfortable silence between two close friends.
Despite this, Haku’s hands twitch in his pockets. When did it start feeling like this? The loud beating of his heart when their arms brushed. The warm feeling in his chest when their eyes met. The ease he felt just being near her. The stubborn butterflies in his stomach that fluttered around whenever he made her laugh.
He finds himself wanting to stay in this moment with her, curfew be damned.
…Ah.
For all Haku’s cleverness, it’s taken him a long while to come upon this truth. Or perhaps he had always known it, but simply refused to face it.
Haku is in love with Ran. Completely, hopelessly so.
He lets out an amused huff, head hanging back as he contemplates the implications of this feeling. What could it mean for the two of them going forward? Better yet, here is a more pressing question: should he even do something about it?
Haku knows himself well enough to understand that there are still things within himself that he needs to sort out. Ran is too great a woman to deserve someone who second-guesses his own character. He has to work on himself first before opening her to his waiting heart.
For now… this ache will have to fester within him, and he’ll have to be content with just staying by her side, even if it’s just as friends.
Besides, their relationship is too precious for him to go ahead and ruin.
He loves her too much to let that happen.
The dorm lights come into view too soon. Once they’re inside, Haku offers her an easy smile and says, “Guess this is where we part ways.”
She returns it. “I had fun today. Thanks, Haku.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” he says honestly. “Good night, Ran. Don’t stay up too late, okay?” Haku watches her go up the girls’ dormitory first before making his own way up the boys’ dorms.
As he climbs the stairs, his mind drifts to the idea of being with her—not just walking by her side, but choosing each other. Openly. Explicitly. Being able to hold her… tell her all his secrets…
…Kiss her.
The thought alone brings a wave of bliss so forceful that it actually aches.
“…Yeah,” he murmurs to himself, cheeks warm. “That’d be nice.”